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Queen Ace โค๏ธ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’

PO# 226663
United States
United States
24 ๐Ÿ’œ | Mother of 2 ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ | Malachi Isaiah๐Ÿ’™ & Maliyah Olivya๐Ÿ’•| 2 Peter 1:5-9 ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ | RIP Momma 10/24/66 - 10/28/19 ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜‡
December 25, 2019
 

I hate Christmas.

Literally just this year. But I hate it. Today especially was just annoying and irritating as the fuck!

Tonight the kids went to their dads for Christmas Eve like every year. Maliyahs first this year.

I had to work and had a long day at work.

I went to pick up my kids from their dad and my daughter is already sick so instantly Iโ€™m irritated cause my baby is sick and thereโ€™s nothing I can do, but then I walk in to a bitch I do not like and have specified that I do not want around my kids.

So then my level of irritation is at a 8. Because nigga you was just caked up with someone youโ€™re supposedly trying to make your wife now you got this whore playing stepmommy at Chr...

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2019
December 17, 2019
 

This weekend is going to be an amazing one.

Iโ€™m starting all over, I have barely anything.

BUT, weโ€™re gonna have our own place again.

And the kids get their own room. ๐Ÿฅฐ

This weekend canโ€™t come fast enough.

Iโ€™m ready for it. Iโ€™m working out the kinks for it and itโ€™s getting. Easier and easier.

I canโ€™t wait for a night out with my best friend this weekend either.

We desperately need it. I just need some tequila sunrise in my life and some good music to dance to.

Iโ€™ve had a really long 2 weeks.

Iโ€™m tired of being mommy. Iโ€™m tired of being a student. Iโ€™m tired of being a CNA.

I just need a break from it all.

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2019
December 6, 2019
 

It doesnโ€™t matter they past you have with anyone, if they are fake and phony, theyโ€™re gonna switch up on you.

Iโ€™ve had probably the hardest month of my life. And there was very little people there for me.

No one understood what I was going through. Grieving my mom I pushed a lot of people away.

I remembered tonight that I had a dream before i had my daughter that I was screaming and crying for my mom because I couldnt do this anymore.

I had this overwhelming sense of just knowing? I guess? Just knowing that it was trying to prepare me.

My moms death is the hardest thing that Iโ€™ve had to go through.

Iโ€™m thankful for my boyfriend though,  he hadnโ€™t let fall into a depression like ot...

ORIGINAL
December 2, 2019
 

Iโ€™ve had a really rough month and a half.

Like honestly probably the toughest Iโ€™ve ever had.

My mom died.
My kids father died. (Well to me at least ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ heโ€™s still out there somewhere ruining someone elseโ€™s life unfortunately)

Iโ€™ve been arguing back and forth with family.

Itโ€™s been ROUGH.

However. Despite all the BULLSHIT, Iโ€™m still moving forward. Things are still falling into place. And I still keep a smile on my face.

Itโ€™s just me, MY kids, and the ones we love around us.

I can honestly say I shouldโ€™ve divorced that man and left his dumbass alone back in 2013. Hell back in 2010 when I first met him. ๐Ÿคฎ

Iโ€™m just completely blown by everyone and their actions. Iโ€™m done with th...

SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
November 16, 2019
 

One thing thatโ€™s been pissing me off most about my moms death, is that her family had felt more entitled than my brothers and myself.

They have us urns the size of a tooth fairy box.

And now for the obituary, the didnโ€™t mention my older brother, they spelled my name wrong, and my kids werenโ€™t mentioned.

Come to find out my grandmother was the one responsible for the obituary.

Iโ€™m calling her tomorrow and Iโ€™m lighting a fire under her ass and in her ear. Sheโ€™s going to have to hang up on me to stop hearing my mouth and then I will call to talk to my grandfather.

My older brother was not my moms biological son. But she took him in and raised him like he was.

She was his mom because ...

WORLD WATERCOLOR MONTH
November 10, 2019
 

I just want to be alone.

I feel like thatโ€™s the best thing for me right now.

Be alone. Focus on the woman my mom and I agreed I would become.

I want to be happy again. I havenโ€™t been happy in such a long time.

Iโ€™m seriously depressed. My mom passing has thrown me into the deepest darkest depression of my life.

Itโ€™s time I get my groove back.

Iโ€™m doing it for you momma. โค๏ธ

LIGHT LETTRS LOGO
November 9, 2019
 

Iโ€™m just not myself lately.

I feel like Iโ€™m in a constant battle of my mind.

One part of me is like โ€œthese people โ€˜grievingโ€™ my mom acting like I didnโ€™t just lose my bestest friend in the whole world. Yโ€™all didnโ€™t even know her! She didnโ€™t even like you!โ€

And the other part is basically rolling her eyes like โ€œyouโ€™re acting like an entitled bratโ€

We got my moms ashes today. The boxes are tiny and it made me so mad.

That was my mom. MY mom.

Iโ€™m allowed to be selfish and entitled.

The ashes we got were the smallest things youโ€™ve ever seen.

I feel disrespected by what we got off our mother. My younger brother is just as mad.

Today was another bad day.

Iโ€™m sad and the one perso...

LIGHT LETTRS LOGO
October 30, 2019
 

Day 3.

The grieving doesnโ€™t get easier.

Iโ€™ve found myself trying to call you a few times today mom.

Never in my life did i think i would have to experience this so soon.

Today Iโ€™ve been mad.

Mad at the world. Mad that you were taken from us.

Iโ€™m still randomly crying when something reminds me of you.

I saw a lady who looked like you in public and I froze. I couldnโ€™t speak or move. She turned around and my heart was shattered.

I miss you more each day my beautiful angel.

Please continue to watch over me and the kids.

We love you so much.

Visit me in my dreams momma.

I love you and miss you. ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ’”

RIP momma 10/24/66-10/28/19 ๐Ÿ˜‡

#INKTOBER
October 27, 2019
 

It was originally tomorrow when i woke up.

But an extension was requested.

Wednesday.

If no change by the , my deadline remains. The consequences remain. My life continues to go on.

So far. Not looking so good.

But I was told to just hold on.

So Iโ€™m holding on until Wednesday.

Itโ€™s not too much to ask.

Itโ€™s not unreasonable.

Wednesday is the deadline.

I just hope it turns out how we all want it to turn out.

STRONG PEOPLE
October 25, 2019
 

Though times it seems
Like I'm coming undone
This walk can often feel lonely
No matter what until this race is won
I will stand my ground where hope can be found
I will stand my ground where hope can be found
Oh, O'Lord O'Lord I know You hear my cry
Your love is lifting me above all the lies
No matter what I face this I know in time
You'll take all that is wrong and make it right
You'll take all that is wrong and make it right
Your strength is found
At the end of my road
Your grace it reaches to the hurting
Still through the tears and the questioning why
I will stand my ground where hope can be found
I will stand my ground where hope can be found
Oh, O'Lord O'Lord I know You hear my cry
Your ...

DRAINED
October 23, 2019
 

After what I heard today,  what Iโ€™ve seen over the last week or so, Iโ€™ve finally made my decision.

So I sent the book. I sent all about my feelings on the situation, my hopes for the future and said my final goodbye.

Iโ€™ve got my game plan. Iโ€™ve got the strength to take my life back.

Itโ€™s time I reclaim my identity. Itโ€™s time I let go of something that didnโ€™t deserve my time or energy.

Iโ€™m blocking numbers, Iโ€™m moving on with life.

If you love something let it go right? And if it doesnโ€™t come back it was never yours to begin with?

Letโ€™s just see how true this is.

Letting go. Moving forward. Just me, my babies, and the rest of our lives.

Goodnight lettrs world โค๏ธ it was nice whi...

THE EDISON BULB
October 22, 2019
 

Iโ€™m in love.

Everything is planning out just as God promised back in 2013.

I prayed for all of this for about 3 years.

Piece by piece he is restoring and renewing all that has been broken lost or destroyed.

I serve an awesome God.

Tonight, through prayer and a little bible study, he has shown me that everything is working out.

Not everything is what it seems.

โ€œSee what I can do.โ€ Keeps ringing in my head.

Thatโ€™s what Iโ€™ll do. Regardless of the he said she said. Regardless of what it looks like. Iโ€™m going to just keep trusting God that he can do just what he said he will do.

How very ignorant of me to think that some HUMAN holds more power than GOD himself.

Tonight I was hu...

THE EDISON BULB
October 22, 2019
 

Life doesnโ€™t have to be this difficult.

HONESTLY like I just donโ€™t understand why everyone makes life seem so hard and whatever. Yeah the challenges suck but if you make it harder the. Of course it gonna seem like life is rough!

It just blows me.

Life really doesnโ€™t have to be this difficult. Itโ€™s the people around that cause the problems that place the extra obstacles who make it difficult.

Lord take me home, I hate it here.

I wanna be closer to you and your Glory. Take me to the place where I belong.

Take me to the place where everything is so simple and enjoyable.

Lord, Take me home!

THE EDISON BULB
October 20, 2019
 

Today I was reflecting on some things.

I asked myself โ€œwhat is it that makes women โ€˜crazyโ€™ per say when theyโ€™re in a relationship?โ€

And it hit me. We all just want to know and feel like weโ€™re the most important woman to the man.

When youโ€™ve been hurt, itโ€™s easy to slip into that โ€˜crazyโ€™.

Itโ€™s up to you whether you decide to let it affect you, or let it motivate you.

Like, are you going to stalk all these different females and be all up in your head asking crazy questions making yourself look psychotic, and most importantly, BUGGING your man?

Or are you going to look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that enough is enough?

Today, I looked in the mirror. Today I stated some...

DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
October 16, 2019
 

Itโ€™s October 16th. Today is the day my baby girl is supposed to be here.

I have a game plan. I was in the hospital last night and they sent me home because Iโ€™m only 2 cm dilated and 60% effaced. Her head isnโ€™t fixed into a birthing position but she is super low.

Friday I have another testing appointment and after that I will be sent for induction.

My game plan is long walks in the cold freaking air, eating as much as I can handle because once youโ€™re in the hospital, they starve you! And finally, Iโ€™m motivating my daughter to come on out and be with mommy and daddy and big brother โค๏ธ

If she doesnโ€™t come before tomorrow I need to wash my hair and re straighten it so i donโ€™t look complete...

DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
October 15, 2019
 

Over the past 4 or 5 years, Iโ€™ve written you many many letters.

Some Iโ€™ve sent. Some Iโ€™ve left sitting in my drafts only because I couldnโ€™t send them and start more bs.

About a month ago, before I ghosted you out and blocked you on everything because of the betrayal I felt, I wrote you a letter but I realized it wasnโ€™t worth sending.

I have absolutely no problem being civil or friends with anyone as long as itโ€™s true friendship and not just keeping me close to make sure I donโ€™t attempt to take your man thatโ€™s never really truly been your man because he is married to me.

I pray for you often, that your heart would heal from everything youโ€™ve been through. I pray that one day things can...

DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
October 7, 2019
Machesney Park, United States

Isnโ€™t it crazy.

Iโ€™m just 9 days away from meeting my daughter.

I feel like Iโ€™m not the least bit prepared.

I have mainly everything I need.

Pretty much everything actually.

The only thing Iโ€™m waiting for is this house to be clean.

This apartment to be taken care of

And finally, for my kids father to have the Time for so I can have our last baby girl on his schedule that way he can be there.

Crazy right. To think I have control over when she comes.

Weโ€™ve talked though. Maliah and I have an understanding. She needs to wait for her daddy. ๐Ÿคฃ

Big brother is very excited to meet his little sister.

Mommy and daddy are ready to meet their little girl.

I still canโ€™t believe it. ...

MADE WITH LOVE