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Harvested Soul

PO# 632926
United States
United States
Writing raw, pure, and from the soul
November 11, 2018
 

Again he gets up
Off to get a double
It’s a new diet he say
Your an alcoholic she says
And that was just the beginning

DARK ASH GREY
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November 11, 2018
 

It’s not okay
These things I don’t need to know
What happened to protecting your child
I try to help and you reject me
He spirals and you bitch
You bitch and he spirals
It’s a sick cycle
One you try and drag me into
Using me as a pawn
Both targeting me against the other
I don’t want to be your pawn
I want to help
Not be used your a game against one another
It pains me to be pulled into this game
But pulled in or left out
There’s nothing for me to do
Either way you both won’t let me help
Either way I can’t make either of you listen

DARK ASH GREY
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November 6, 2018
 

A weight
Sitting in my chest
Right a top my heart
Pulling me further down
Crushed by gravity
Soul vanished
Will gone
No motivation to leave
Or to achieve
Unable to smile
Solemn slapped right across my face
I don’t feel alone
I know there’s hope
I know I’m loved
But then why
Why do I still feel nothing, everything
Why am I still stuck, unmovable
Why am I cursed with slashes
Why can’t I feel the joy

DARK ASH GREY
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September 15, 2018
 

I stand in the corner
Staring, wondering, thinking
“What’s the matter with these people?”
All they do is chat
Have small talk
Some surface conversation
No one ever dives deep
Or even cracks the surface
Everyone just wants to know the mask
The mask we must wear
If we wish to be accepted
Into the masquerade
Around and around
People dance in circles
They lie and the lie
Never revealing true emotion
Keeping it all inside
Not wanting to disrupt the masquerade
Not wanting to be kicked outside
For they say it’s dreary and lonely
But who is they?
Do you believe anything anyone says?
How do you know outside is terrible
if you’ve never left the masquerade?
Why not take a chanc...

DARK DEPTHS
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September 11, 2018
 

Past mistakes
Are just mistakes
They don’t define our today
They don’t define our tomorrow

Life is all about growth
We all must grow from something
Some grow a little from success
Others grow greater from mistakes

Mistakes we don’t wish to repeat
Mistakes we know we won’t repeat
Even if some don’t believe it
That doesn’t matter

For our true relationships accept
They accept all you are, all you have been, and all you will be
They know you don’t want to repeat past mistake
And that’s all that matters

DARK ASH GREY
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August 24, 2018
 

why why why
must you
drink drink drink
what good
what joy
I didn’t see
I felt fear
I felt tears
anxious for thee
you were sirened away
I hope you’re okay
why why why
did you
drink drink drink

DARK ASH GREY
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August 1, 2018
 

Sensing I’m not meant to do this alone
Using You to navigate the unknown
Releasing all imaginations
Relinquishing the pointless manipulations
Every thought in Your hands
Never saying yes without your command
Desperate for Your revelation
Ending old expectation
Reserving my heart for Your preparation

DARK ASH GREY
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July 14, 2018
 

               Get off the Boat
                          and
                 Walk on Water

DARK ASH GREY
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June 30, 2018
 

new chapters
not quite sure what will be written
I can only hope for my dreams
but reality, that’s what I’d call a bitch

I wish I hope for a different tomorrow
but it’s all the same as yesterday
I run seem to get no where
I’m stuck in one spot

I’ve hit a wall that’s too deep, too high
no one can get by
I try to tunnel out
but there’s no use

I try and try and try to no avail
a future at this point seems merely a fairy tail
why is hope so tantalizing
I’ll never be good at socializing

I’ve stopped trying at this point
there is no key
nothing to do but sit and play in the dirt
to sit and try to figure out me

DARK ASH GREY
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June 5, 2018
 

#SKYLARK CHALLENGE 142

Centuries seem to be flying by
The old
The young
The middle aged
The new born
No concern for my warnings

Yet they long for my immortality
As I stand at the sidelines
Watching
Observing
Yearning
For someone to notice me

Me
A red stain in the past
If someone would look
A seductive story line
If someone would read
How could anyone forget me

Yet that’s all they seem to do
They don’t head my advice
Instead the cast me aside
Until they need me
Need me to hold onto their mistakes
Just like those past

DARK ASH GREY
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May 31, 2018
 

Circles Circles Circles
Im Running Running Running
Go Go Go
Im racing No one
Im racing Myself
But to what end,
What goal, what finish line
All I know is I can’t
STOP.
My body wants
But how
I’ve always ran
How can I sit
How can I listen
How can I silence
The chaos inside me
I don’t know why
It must be now
But that seems
All I know
Is now
I
Must
STOP.

DARK ASH GREY
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May 1, 2018
 

Fashionable
NOT
Trashable

DARK ASH GREY
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April 30, 2018
 

When did my life become controlled by fear?
Im no longer strong but weak
All my actions dictated by the possibility of what if
I’m not a courageous warrior
I’m the one that cowers on the back lines
I hope the war doesn’t reach me
Yet some how I end up fighting the front line fight
I didn’t ask for it
I didn’t want it
I just want to drift through life
But that’s not meant for me
I was made to do great things
But I don’t act so
I was named worthy of love
But I don’t believe so
How can my life be meant for something I don’t believe?
How have I come to think so little of me?
How did I find this valley I now live in?
How can I find my hope again?

DARK ASH GREY
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April 12, 2018
 

I’m grieving all wrong
First it was denial
Then anger
Then sadness
Shouldn’t those two be switched
I feel like I can’t do anything right
Not even grieve properly
But now I’ve arrived at acceptance
I accept that...
I’m cruel
I’m manipulative
I’m weak
I’m broken
I’m damaged
I’m bitchy
I’m terrible
I’m not worthy of love
I’m all alone
I’m what’s wrong
I’ve finally accepted the me you think I am
I’ve finally accepted the me I know I am

DARK ASH GREY
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April 12, 2018
 

I used to say I was free
I said it so much I started to believe it
But it was a lie
And I know realize that
A sword right through my heart
That’s all it took to realize
That I’m broke
That I’m weak
That I’m alone
That I’m far from free

DARK ASH GREY
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April 8, 2018
 

I can’t tell you what I’m thinking
Because I’m thinking of nothing
I keep my mind constantly distracted
Just to keep the thoughts at bay
I’m never still and silent at the same time
The movement keeps me busy
The noise keeps my mind full
This leaves no room for thoughts to appear
The moment I stop thinking
Is the moment they won’t stop
They’ll keep coming and coming
They’ll beat at my skull
They’ll scream at me from the inside
I’ll loose all control of them
And when I loose control of them
That’s when I loose all control of myself

DARK ASH GREY
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March 26, 2018
 

IN YOU

In You
I walk into a room
Smile on my face
Head held high with love
Presence of positivity carries
Peace gravitating to others
Negative cast to the shadows
Pain vanishes in thin air
Sorrow shortly forgotten
Heart break quickly healed
All in You

LETTRS WOOD FADE
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March 26, 2018
 

#SKYLARK CHALLENGE 132
I didn't mean it
It was just a misunderstanding
That ended with my brother dropping half dead
He dropped to my feet
I filled with fear and uncertainty
And fell next to my brother
For his death would be the end of me
It would break me at the seams
It would kill me from the inside out
For he was my other half
We were one and the same
Vowing to never leave the other's side
I couldn't let him leave me alone
I couldn't wait
I had no patience
So as he took his last I took mine
Letting the wind carry our lasts away together

DARK ASH GREY
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March 20, 2018
 

#SKYLARK CHALLENGE 131

#1

It's no longer safe
     My mind
They're overwhelming
     My thoughts
They're relentless
     My demons
They're disturbing
     My ideas
They're cutting
     My hands
It's blood stained
     My knife

DARK DEPTHS
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