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H.Marie

PO# 321227
Philippines
Philippines
clearly a work in progress... 25| full-time daydreamer| loves a good talk and smiling faces :)|
May 6, 2020
 

You don't have to look at me like I meant something to you...

You are just making it harder for me to understand my feelings...

You don't have to smile and make me feel like I can count on something...

You're just making me confused if you were ever real...


... but then again, I can't blame you, not fully I mean, I just wanted to blame someone other than myself this time around, make someone responsible for the pain, the hurt that I inflicted on myself for trusting someone new with all the vulnerabilities I have.

I was the one who gave you the upper hand to hurt me, I gave you that sneak preview of the dark place I once was, I told you how I was terrified to go back ther...

ORIGINAL
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April 17, 2020
 

Who am I? Who are you?

Can you describe yourself without the use of adjectives that have jumped from one tongue to another?

Can you describe yourself without the aid of books for quotes and lines that were uttered in the mind of another?

Can you describe you in a way that you will believe you?

I've heard the line "You don't need to please everyone"

... but the thing is, we don't try to please everyone, we don't, we want the word acceptance... and pleasing people is what it comes of to look like, but the thing about this is we can't help it. Why? because we make believe that the person in front of the public is ourselves.

Example, I'm nice to people, I go out of my way t...

SUNSET LOVE
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April 14, 2020
 


Rarely do I want to start a statement with "I", maybe occasionally, but not all the time. Some would say, they figured me out by telling me, "you don't use I because it's too basic." Point taken.... "you don't use I because it seems too elementary" again point taken... but the real reason, lies within me, something more painful than I care to admit.

I... is too personal and no one really wants to go that far.
I... is too rooted in stories about the writer, some people tend to skip that part
I... is the one baring her soul to the world, but the world never made her feel she mattered.
I... is not enough to give a space in someone's life, that is why I makes false realities trying to ...

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
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April 3, 2020
 

"I like that you're a mess, because it makes me feel that you're real"

I like that, hearing it said, I liked it...

Ever grown tired of making believe stuff that you know will never be real, but you feel the need to keep it around, just because it makes you happy?

Have you ever questioned if the fantasies you keep having are bound to be real, that's why it hurts and heals as of they were true?

... but it hurts, right now it hurts because when I'm a mess, it feels like people get tired so easily, as if they kept me around because they have someone to make them feel like they mean something more, and if they have reached that level of worth, I become nothing but a paper weight to th...

ORIGINAL
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April 1, 2020
 

I'm writing to an imaginary you, the you I've seen in my dreams so many times, heard so many times... the you that seems so real that it keeps me bound to the realm of the unknown.

How come, I've made an image of someone whose face I still can't fully remember and yet your voice match the one in my head so perfectly? I'm writing to an imaginary you. The one I talk to at night when the world is at peace and it is only you and me with the windows rolled down in full speed through a deserted highway, moving to a place only you know.  

The blast of the music too loud to silence you out, but my ears have been fine tuned to you, and I hear you, clear as the waters that we rush to get to befo...

SUNSET LOVE
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March 29, 2019
 

Here's to the girl that loves the rain
She loves it so much, that she became one...
Gloomy are the days that accompany it
Set the mood for a choice to continue or pack and be done

Her heart roars like the thunder
But no one hears, because of the light in her smile
Rain, rain please be with me today
Mask my pain and be stay with me for a while

She feels the raindrops on her face
Can't tell now if it's water or tears
The sun didn't show through the clouds
and the night has brought a face to her fears

Her hands start to shiver
Her body going cold
The rain is slowly fading away
"Be normal" act as how you were told

Pit-a-pat, 1, 2, 3
The rain is slowly drifting a...

BE BRAVE
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March 7, 2019
 


At one point you felt it, that feeling you know shouldn't have been there because it wasn't supposed to be, but then here you are, looking at yourself in the bathroom mirror, confused about that feeling. telling yourself, "you can't you just can't" maybe because you're close? Or he belongs to someone else? Or he just doesn't exist? Here you are looking at the walls trying to reassure yourself, you do not have feelings for this person because you know it is just going to screw up everything. Here you are, looking at the ceiling of your dark room, crying because you hurt and you don't know why.

...but you know deep down inside you've fallen, head over heels but not in love... just like... ...

ORIGINAL
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March 3, 2019
 

I can't sleep, or I choose not to, sometimes it's one or the other...

I can't sleep, because my mind is full of thoughts, some good, some bad and some of just you, only you. I can't sleep because of the noises, my heart and mind aren't helping with that either. I just can't be silenced. I can't sleep because of this song that plays in my mind non-stop, that and your voice too... I can't sleep, and I can blame a thousand more reasons for it, but the stars and moon, try at least to ease my mind.

I choose not to sleep, I'm afraid to miss it, to miss you, I choose not to sleep because it hurts me to see nothing, thinking that in the end, this is all I'll get. I choose not to sleep, becaus...

ORIGINAL
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March 2, 2019
 


To the girl with the big heart,

You have to much love to give away, but none is ever given back to you. You end up throwing yourself out there into the world, wishing someone can give some back to you. You think that the more love you give the more it'll come back to you... and yet you're almost running dry, the tears falling from your eyes and you know, you're already tired.

They tell you that the love you give will always come back to you, but here you are, waiting in the dark corner of your bedroom, here you are looking at a picture of love, an image of how everything should have happened, but never given the chance to.

Now here you are again, falling into the same mistake of...

ORIGINAL
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February 1, 2019
 

To Mr. Come Back

Why? I was okay, living my life, feeling your presence as just a friend, we were okay that way, or I was okay that way, no funny feelings were getting in the way of us... or maybe I just thought that there were no feelings because I was still blinded by puppy love.

There was a person I thought would see my efforts and show me the love that I deserve, but, I was foolish to spend years on him, thinking of only him, that I put my feelings... my real feelings for you aside...

I am now at that point where I can't deny the fact that I have feelings for you... and that is messing everything up with me, because, I can't destroy what I have with you now. I'm getting confused...

ORIGINAL
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April 28, 2018
 

Lately I have been feeling far more broken than I was yesterday...

I wake up and feel my heart losing strength to love and understand everything around me...

When I breathe, instead of the help that it gave to me before, it feels like I'm breathing in more of the heaviness.

The clouds always appear darker and gloomier... when before, the sight of that kind of weather gives me peace.

I'm feeling more out of myself... I feel like my laughter is just a recording... it starts to sound lifeless... emotionless, but nonetheless, it still sounds convincing enough for me to fool the world with it...

I once found it to be easy, to write stuff, from the heart, but now, all of those w...

ORIGINAL
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December 9, 2017
 

I am at that point where I am sick to the core of my body, mind, heart and soul, and here I am saying to people… “thank you, have a nice day, enjoy and keep warm”

I am at that point where, I am accumulating regret inside my body of this dream of mine, like, I am thinking, why does my dream have to scare me? Why does my dream need to cost so much? Why does it have to look like, a pain with no end? Why does my dream get the opportunity to live at the cost of another?

I am at that point where my tears naturally, carelessly falls down my cheeks because I am too tired to function. I don’t know how much more I can take, but if all else fails… just smile and hope something good will happen…
...

ORIGINAL
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July 18, 2017
 

As a writer, I have told myself, that there are one too many ways to end a story, but the best is through a period... The end...


I've known and found out so many ways to put a period to my story, I can't say them out loud, but I can do all of them if I wanted to, but that was always my problem, I don't have that in me to put a period on anything, even if it is already too much. I may never know what happens tomorrow, that's why all I can do at this moment is to pray that it will be good.

As of this moment, a lot of people are telling me to be strong, easier said than done, a phrase I would like to continuously repeat to myself, because, who knows, I might believe it someday as well,...

ORIGINAL
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April 4, 2017
 

I was broken before I met him, and as I reached the last, I felt more broken... I thought seeing him will make it better, I though seeing him will make me feel like the skies can seems more closer to my finger tips... and yet, here I am, aching for the turning of the clock, back to the day that I can still decide... should I have walked with him when he reached out his hands to me, or should I have just gotten up on my own and kept running?

I was broken before I met him, but now that I see him leaving... it is breaking me even more

ORIGINAL
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March 29, 2017
 

"Think it, wish for it, believe in it... the world is listening..."

That's what they made me believe, the shadows, that is what they said... and here I am, the kid who fell for it over and over, the teen who clung onto legends and myths, the adult who risks her choice on wishful thinking.... .

I blew on to many birthday candles, closed my eyes to make it more sincere...

I chose the brightest star up in the sky and flashing it a wide smile, hoping that it would grant my heart's desires...

I have waited for 11:11 quite a number of times and whispered to the wind... "carry my dreams with you" Let the hands of time do magic for you!

I have tied one to many notes on a balloon a...

ORIGINAL
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October 18, 2016
 

Not so little anymore...

Little girl, you're not so little anymore
Oh, how you've grown, faster, wiser, braver than yesterday.

Little girl who used to hold his father's hands
You can let go now, and walk in your own path

Little girl, you used to be in eye's view...
Now your out at dark and living anew

Little girl who once had someone waiting to catch her when she falls
Strengthen your grip and cross the bars, don't look down, just across.

Little girl who wept when she's lost
You finally learned to wander off into the unknown.

Little girl who was afraid of the dark.
You now found peace in pitch black corners.

Little girl who always just listened to stories
Y...

ORIGINAL
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October 10, 2016
 

What do myths, fairy tales and true love have in common?

The thing that they all have in common is, they exist, but not in the way you expect them to be!

Myths exist, not because of the Gods and Goddesses in those tales, but for the idea that, someone made them, someone thought of them, someone saw them... forming them into a tangible concept.

Fairy tales exist, not because of the witches or magic in it, but because the heart made them real, or rather, the feelings they make you feel are real and exist.

True love exist, not because the version made up by books and movies tries to penetrate into our everyday lives, but it is exist because it rarely has happy endings that do not ...

ORIGINAL
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September 17, 2016
 

How I imagined you...

I used to listen to songs as the rain poured, it all feels so calm that I drift into slumber, and before I know it there you are, hands that perfectly fit mine. I always try to imagine you as clearly as I can, all I know is that you are ordinarily extraordinary to me. You may not have a built of a knight, but your body embracing mine is enough to make me feel safe at night, I imagined you smelling of pine trees and cool breeze, how you must love adventure and how you love dragging me out on a sunny day. I imagine my hands running through your soft hair and how you'd smile at me because you enjoy me doing it. I imagine your low, cool voice saying sweet words that assu...

ORIGINAL
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August 21, 2016
 

Here she goes again...

The girl who falls in love for every bit of pixels, every bit of data that gives her the time of day. She develops a smile at the sight of her inbox being filled and she becomes hopeful.... Way too hopeful for something that may never even come.

That's the sad thing about this, no one ever says good bye properly... Written online, but never etched in time. A lot of uncertainties. I know I can't force someone to stay if they are no longer happy with you, when they start getting bored with you... All I wish, out of all the stories I have shared and all the words you have imparted, it will be properly closed, say good bye and I'll understand. Say you are leaving and I'...

ORIGINAL
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July 28, 2016
 

It's been awhile since I've last written an open letter... well... maybe not too long, but yeah! I have been out of it for some days, this is because, life has just been getting to me so much lately and, I am starting to show colors of me that I never knew existed and I really had hope that they never existed at all, dark is all that I can see in the mirror and I don't like it... the good thing about this though is that I am in a place that only a few can see those colors, the bad thing though is that those few are the ones that actually mean something to me.

I have been going over this statement saying "I am afraid that there will come a time that those who matter will see you the way yo...

ORIGINAL
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May 28, 2016
 

HELP!!!

I recently got my phone snatched and my lettrs on that phone is still open, I have no idea how to remotely log off on that device and so now I am contemplating if I should create another lettrs account.

This world really is full of bad people, but I'll never lose sight of those who are genuinely good, right now, I'll just let fate or destiny decide what they will do to those people.

Well I think I just finished my rant! Good night everybody and keep on rockin!!!

Sincerely

Marie

ORIGINAL
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May 19, 2016
 

Sweet was the wind that brought the rain in this place on fire. Calming was the sound of the drops as it fell on the concrete. Beautiful was the figure that emerged from the stillness of the night. The stars have vanished, not one was in sight, but still I felt like the night was ever beautiful. The stars were just like accessories to a woman who was already radiant but felt the need to add just a little something extra.

The night turned to day, and the rain continue to fall. It was still a beautiful scene. Like that of the reconciliations in a movies. The ones that end with a slow, passionate kiss. Even as the heat fought with the breeze, here I felt refreshed. Here I felt like I am bein...

ORIGINAL
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February 20, 2016
 



I would like to think that there is more out there for me than the life I am already living... I know and I feel in my heart that I am destined for something more, even if it is not the greatest. Will you laugh at me if I told you that I believe in "Once upon a time" and "happily ever after"? And will you despise me if I told you I never believe in "The end"?

I always believe that there is more to a person's story, more to his life... I may always see endings as the easiest way out but I remembered how much I love the conflicts inside a book because it keeps the story interesting. If I see my conflicts as that of a book, could I have seen life differently?



ORIGINAL
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November 14, 2015
 

I just... I just wanna tell you how painful the distance is for me, it is not just the physical distance, but the space between, fantasy and reality that will forever keep you away from my reach. I am hopeful, dreamy... even wishful that someday there will be such an alternate universe wherein, you'd be wishing for me or we could actually be, but right now, I live in this universe where I am the girl in the sidelines and you are the guy of my dreams and you will remain just a character of that dream.

Will it ever be possible to be you and me, me and you? Can our worlds collide? Can I amount to anything in your heart? Could I be more to you? I always hoped, in this heart of mine that someo...

GIFT OF LOVE
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October 13, 2015
 

I want to do something... say something actually... If I told you I have fallen for you, would you try to forget me? There are worlds between us and yet my heart knew no boundary...

I'd love to look you in the eyes and tell you that I am falling.... but I know that I can never do that because you are just a dream... you are in a world far different from mine. To all the boys that came to my life... no one can be as good and as real as you... even when you are just made up by fragments of words... of memories... of wishes that never came true.

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ORIGINAL
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October 13, 2015
 

I just want to write in my language for this one...

Akala mo ba madali para sa akin na kalimutan lahat ng sakit na ipinaramdam mo sa akin?

akala mo ba madaling intindihin kung bakit mo ako ginamit?

Noon pa man pinangarap ko na na bumalik ka... ngayon mas gusto ko na dyan ka na lang at huwag ka nang babalik...

kung tutuusin kinalimutan mo naman na kami di ba? kinalimutan mo na ang paghihirap na dinanas mo nung bigyan mo kami ng buhay.... sana masaya ka na diyan... sana di na lang kita nakilala, di sana ako nasasaktan ng ganito.

If only I can say this... this pain... but I can't because I respect you enough... but I hope that you'd open your heart to the idea that you were the first on...

ORIGINAL
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October 6, 2015
 

I want to tell you something, ask you actually, is it normal to feel afraid that someone will leave you and never come back?

I've been getting a lot of that for the past months and I'm starting to break down again, I wanna cry, I just don't have anyone to cry to.

People are too tired to listen and I can't blame them... I can't blame that they are tired to listen to my dramas, my rants... the anger inside my heart... the pain of seeing someone leave... over and over again as if there is no point in staying in my life. Am I a problem for some.... how about you? will you leave me too?

If I'm not the problem, can you promise me you wouldn't do anything stupid? I can't bear another heartache ...

ORIGINAL
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September 23, 2015
 

To the girl who pretended most of her life

Are you happy with your choices? Are you happy to know that some of the people in your life just wants to stay in it for a half of you and with one wrong move you can say goodbye to them? Are you happy making yourself believe that you are someone unreal when you know for a fact that you are squeezing yourself dry of the efforts just to maintain your illusion of a YOU? Cause me. I am not happy.. you know you are better than that but you end up being someone you can't be proud of in the future. You settle for being someone's trophy friend.

Please let the real you come out... she misses you... she misses the you when you were kids not minding anybody...

ORIGINAL
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September 17, 2015
 

I find that it's only reasonable that the person who made you is the same person who breaks you...Also I found out that even those you call ohana can leave you behind and forget you.

Why was it so easy for you to leave? Why is it so easy for people to tell me... point out to me the wrong that they see? Why is it so easy to compare me to the dream that you wish you had? Is anything wrong with me? Am I not worthy? well I apologize for not being the girl you dreamt me to be.

I can't force you to stay... because I badly know how you wanted to go... I just wished you never made promises that you said I can hold onto forever. I just wished he didn't say anything about you... that could have spa...

ORIGINAL
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September 14, 2015
 

To Mr. Future

Wait for me... wait and I promise to be there.. it might take sometime but you and I will intersect. I maybe at awe in your presence or you may be at awe in mine... we never know. I feel like there is a rope attach to me, connecting me to you, I can feel you tugging at the end, or maybe that's just me being all romantic... though tangled to somebody else. I know it is still connected to you, you are at the end of that rope... I told you it might take sometime to untangle from the wrong people, hang in there... I'm sure you are just as tied up as I am... we will get there. Just breathe...

I'm thinking what could you be doing now? are you sleeping? is it daytime where you are? ...

ORIGINAL
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