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iceintheattic

PO# 628421
Australia
Australia
🌲I am not of this air, just another Olive Branch🌳 Collection of my twigs, saplings and leaves. Background pics & words are all mine. 🏳️‍🌈🌊❄️🌕🙋🏽
October 18, 2017
 

I was in and out
but do not
bother me.

#number6
is finally at ease

we were
relentless
but we are
at peace,

I will keep
my steps
shorter
and
soon enough
I will be
out
of
the
picture

D C de Oliveira
18.10.2017
#numbsandnumbers

DICTIONARY DAY
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October 17, 2017
 

Favourite word: Saudades

I am death in disguise / all the burning of moments / spring afire / blaze of Hellmouth / where your sea refuses to meet mine / fine, I‘ve left you now / my portal of acceptance / I hold these colourful aches of both longing and abandonment / the bouquet of Beelzebub / I wore the amulet of your barren marrow / heartless, I came, disappointment is peeling / the agony of wickedness / saudades, you robbed me / I am bare, a vacant vessel, deserted Goby / a syntax, chromosomes of paroxysm / thorns of throes, trepalium of Thrones / the susurration of possessiveness / the ghost of Gilgamesh awaits / I am death, already dead / expired, long overdue / I am tired/retired, cutt...

DICTIONARY DAY
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October 17, 2017
 

My mind is drifting
while I’m sitting
here with the
sky murmuring over
the coming of dusk.

I have been trying
to be gentle with
my moods.

#number5 has been kinder.

Something is in the air
with no face
but only the white noise
playing like
a broken record.

I’m wearing my kindness,
the kindest,
and my sorrows
are departing,
in slow motion
but they’re
leaving.

D C de Oliveira
17.10.2017
#numbsandnumbers

EARTH
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October 17, 2017
 

Oh but my darling
they will all lie,
they will all betray you
and you too will
kiss me through
the very same lips,
tongue and mouth of
which you have
deceived me with.

D C de Oliveira

SUMMER SIP
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October 16, 2017
 

I questioned my sanity
whether my distant meditation
is showing its own skin
to the eyes of the moon?

I suppose #number4
has been the hardest day
to dream with my eyes open.

How can I suddenly
feel unwelcome
inside my own head?

I’m trembling with
the demand of
my own thoughts,
the desperation
that smelt too
Familiar —

Where the savagery
of the unknown
nestled itself
without my
invitation,
everything
become
insufficient.

I guess,
I should question
myself,
how well am I
going to be when
I finally reach the end?

D C de Oliveira
16.10.2017
#numbsandnumbers

DREAMY NIGHTS
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October 16, 2017
 

Monday used to be my favourite day to have my own blissful seed blooming.

But not today, I feel so hot and humid with the presence of it.

I am bothered, with the stench of tomorrow.

I am locking myself, in my own tower with a bunch of classical incantation of sorts.

I am in mute, my silence is also quiet.

I guess I am ready to shut my eyes even when 3 pm is wobbling
its way towards me.

What to do, what not to do
to do what, to not do what?

Lost as of late
and cannot be found.

D  C de Oliveira
16.10.2017

(whatever I dunno what to call this anymore --
Classical music kinda ease me with the Debby downer mood. :-/)

VANESSA ATALANTA
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October 15, 2017
 

I haven't been sleeping,
I have but I pretend/fake it till
I actually fall asleep and forgotten about how I ended up
with bruises in my dreams...

#number3 how I feel about the sky
is inaccurate ...

If it's not blue, it's grey
and if you can feel
both at the same time
then my blisters are showing ...

You used to be my ritual,
now I flick through
myself, like you would.
So callously, aggressively
as though I am meaningless
to your so meaningful existence.

I am entering the horizon
filled with the unfamiliar path
and it blooms for me
and I'll settle with whatever
that makes me feel like something again.

D C de Oliveira
15.10.2017
#numbsandnumbers

WHAT MATTERS
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October 15, 2017
 

My soul has been camping by the edge of the cliff.

At this stage, I am unsure whether to parachute down, hand gliding, abseiling or just free dive with no gear and finally introduce my splattered guts to the ground.

Mmm! 6.35am on Sunday and I am thinking ...

THE CLOCK
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October 14, 2017
 

It feels fine. #number2 is empty yet it feels fine.

Fine, with its own agenda, dirty secrets waiting to become undone --

Where to go when there is always you in the way?

Magpies, hovering/I want peace but they want to peck me.

How sober is the sky, tainted with the fake Shiraz?

Find me a place, tell me something else
maybe death won't come too close
if we pretended that we are useless
commodities, bodies, souls
to even be worthy enough
for the afterlife collection.

D C de Oliveira
14.10.2017
#numbsandnumbers

CUP OF TEA
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October 14, 2017
 

[ It's not her fault nor yours
it's certainly not mine
but who is to blame? ]

For the things that you cannot help it?

I hear the falling of feathers,
like thunder in the distance
how strange, something so soft
could possibly be the loudest
thud as they touched the ground?

How is it that our piano hearts
could seem to play the song
that everyone called love
yet these chords sound
offkey? not synced like
they're meant to be?

I suppose, my fragments
are discordant and you/she
are/is  not here to
tune me back
to the original sound
of this crux.

D C de Oliveira
14.10.2017

THE MAYFLOWER
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October 14, 2017
 

The thing about forgetting is, I learn to let it go by itself.
I realized the more I try to open all the doors for it to leave,
the more stubborn it becomes.

"who had set my soul on fire?
the hands that I was willing to hold? --   
the agony of misunderstanding,
love, you were not it but why are you here?"

I guess not until
I have some sort of dementia
or as above, for it to leave on its own
I cannot forget, can, cannot for, forget, get it?

D C de Oliveira
14.10.2017

SCENIC SIT
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October 14, 2017
 

There's a place I want to be,
where a violin would play
accordingly to my emotions,
listening to the rain in D minor,
be joyful with the softest
key on the piano, forget crescendo.

Is there such a place?

D C de Oliveira
14.10.2017

SPANISH GUITAR
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October 14, 2017
 

Some days, I am okay with your heaviness, bring it on --
I'd be whatever you want me to be,
carrying all of your loads,
but there are days, other than some days,
I am not okay and I don't expect you to carry
my loads, but let me be at peace,
with my own heaviness, my own, myself,
me, just me.

D C  de Oliveira
14.10.2017
- Who to cradle when you don't have arms?

BE A BIRD
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October 13, 2017
 

How her saccharine scented tongue, shredded me with deception yet they smelt like Gardenia after the rain --

D C de Oliveira

IN SEASON
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October 13, 2017
 

I am quitting an addiction, not a fish but the ocean --

Is there such a thing as a struggle to be pretentious instead of mimicking reality that is so hideously absurd!?

I don't want to count the days, maybe the days can count me and I am only one.

Is this numbered? perhaps I should for my own sanity. -- #number1

How did I end up here with a messy mind and chaotic soul?

I am running out of time so I will mute myself, that is what I am so accurately good at.

{ is this poetry? poem? prose? whatever gosh I feel weary the grief won't leave me be/alone - }

D C de Oliveira
#numbsandnumbers

TINY QUEEN
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October 13, 2017
 

13/10/2017
Dear the one who will come after I’m gone,

If you want her you need to be patient. You need to have all the time in the world to wait, to wait, to wait. It might take you a day, a year or 10 but you wait. She is not easy to please, she has her own world, she is the universe itself so you have to be something else to please the universe.

See I was impatient, I was like Orpheus, I looked too soon and Eurydice is gone forever. Don’t be like me, but I was good with warmth and I want to believe that, perhaps my blanketed words was the reason she even acknowledges my existence.

Anyway, I will keep it as short as I could because when it comes down to her, it is never short nor simple...

TRAIN YOUR BRAIN DAY
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October 13, 2017
 

I’m wondering, 
upon the cul-de-sac of Dandelions
whether there are days or nights,
times or moments when
you are wondering,
if I am wondering about
what you’re wondering about
me wondering over you while
you are wondering over me
or we are wondering
about nothing at all?
Wondering, if only
it could wander
to the extent of
wondering itself
To reach the wonder
of you, of me
of wondering
if wondering
is all we
have
to
won-
der
about!
D C de Oliveira
13.10.2017

WINTER WHISPERS
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October 12, 2017
 

At this point even your lies
smelt like gardenia,
saccharine scented
and I let you
intoxicate me
with it.

How is it that
you live here?
not only in my head
but
in my walls,
my ceiling,
my corridors,
my bathroom ,
my backyard,
my kitchen,
my lounge room,
my routines?

My own cavity I must fill,
the void that resembles
a black hole,
Where to exit when there
is no sign?
how to get rid of a ghost
when I am it?

I guess,
I am just a dumb prophet
fill me with your
sweet nothings and I’ll believe
you with my eyes closed.

D C de Oliveira

DISAPPOINTED
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October 11, 2017
 

My own cavity I must fill /
the void that resembles
the black hole / where to find a way out when there is no exit sign /

D C de Oliveira

INTO THE UNIVERSE
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October 11, 2017
 

I didn’t know who I was writing for […] My own soul has denied me, my heart has given up on me and I was longing for the salvation from the hands that would never reach me … but I know now and that is okay […]

- For the things we want that we cannot have

D C de Oliveira

BOOKS AND MORE
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October 10, 2017
 

Dear the girl with comet skin,

I breathed you, like the perfume
of the rainforest.

My soul was settling down for
the long run, beyond the war I fought through the door of my closet.

Till you waltzed in unannounced
through the raging sea,
the mist of Persephone, the wind of Californica shore and showed me
how to see the stars with my eyes closed.

Oh moonflower of Eden,

I wish this world was another
where you get to see me with
your eyes closed.

How all the words I scavenged and excavated through the earth’s core were all for you.

I guess, I was not the soil for your roots to grow nor were you the tree that longs for me to climb.

I just think the Universe was cruel to lead my soul to ...

FACE YOUR FEARS
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October 10, 2017
 

Your moth mouth filled with bees –
Come, butterfly eyes
let’s be what we used to be
by the floor of Eden’s embrace
enigma, ambiguous thoughts
let linger, wings of an eagle 
morning and night sinkholes 
you are the shiver on my spine
come, ravenous beauty
let’s unhide, be seen
let’s be what our souls want us to be, 
meeting reality, fleeting fantasy.
Don’t deny me, I no longer want to be your secret
D C de Oliveira
28.09.2017
09.37am

TRAIN YOUR BRAIN DAY
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October 10, 2017
 

Marshy midnight
the closing of fingers,
gloomed with enshaded glory.
Soothsayer’s hymn,
my conjuration lulling
like poppies in winter,
for I am the forgotten name,
of your conscience,
your before time,
arrive, do come
or
hush and seal
my soul
to your afterlife.
D C de Oliveira
09.10.2017

TRAIN YOUR BRAIN DAY
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October 10, 2017
 

I’ve heard
a few have said their bottles
made them write.
See, I would rather not.
I have no bottles.
I have types of tea.
Teas. My cups filled with lush,
scented aromas of 
places I want to remember,
faces I want to memorize
and aches I want to acknowledge
I have wounds
scars, ongoing battles,
wars, havoc, misplaced bones,
undeletable memories, 
unaccountable loss
of beloveds and 
my own legion of nightmares
but no bottles, no seductive stimulants.
My teas, they are there,
the only herbs, wild weeds.
My day starts with the hour of my opening
I tamed my nerves,
with two coffees in a mason jar.
I dress my laziness with morning walks,
exhaling my putrid, 
inhaling only the fresh mist,
the fogg...

TRAIN YOUR BRAIN DAY
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October 10, 2017
 

I am capacious
with your departure

All these rooms
that once hold
your words,
your soul, your heart

now just filled
with the echo
of silence itself

D C de Oliveira
10.10.2017

TRAIN YOUR BRAIN DAY
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October 10, 2017
 

Conflicted, your petal was ajar,
You begged to differ with her,
but the sentiment of her was unavoidable.
Every sign disagreed, you feel disturbed
with the inconclusive variation.
There was a brawl in your head.
A clash of veins, colliding bones.
Your conscience combated your want.
you were your own contender, contestant
amongst your disharmonized sinew,
your fiber mismatched, your aura opposed you,
you locked horns with your demon,
ran against the highest tide,
just because every day you strive to write
the right words that
would only speak to her.
D C de Oliveira
05.10.2017
08.35am

INTO THE SHADE
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October 10, 2017
 

“all the things I do not understand is giving me grief, let alone to experience indifference from the people you thought you can relate to”
D C de Oliveira
10.10.2017
- Why should any of us be sorry for what we are feeling?
feelings, regardless of the shape, form, and curves, the least we
could do is to acknowledge it. I suppose there’s no manual eh? for
how to let down the feelings of others in a soft and delicate way.

RANDOM ACTS OF POETRY - DAY
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October 10, 2017
 

Serengeti is stretching her arms,
Where the landscape of wings set me free.
I’ve dreamed of the hoofed animals, 
the Wildebeest, Topi, and Waterbuck breed 
throughout the wet season.
All the empty things in me
are now inhabited by the vast veldt prairies
My soul is now migratory 
where spotted hyenas, jackal, and Thoa
walked amongst the shrubs 
and savannas of Grumeti River.
Commiphora welcomes me
but I am a treeless grassland
allegorical scenery for 
the heart that was once filled with the evergreen.
D C de Oliveira
10.10.2017

RANDOM ACTS OF POETRY - DAY
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October 9, 2017
 

Off/of course,,
slightly dangled
like wild berries in her mouth
I have been elsewhere but myself
who was the shadow
casting the spell of the unreturned love?
D C de Oliveira

FACE YOUR FEARS
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October 9, 2017
 

Oh how you
seek the depth
of every cheap
corner of the world
that would
sell you the
profound potion of life
yet your indifference
and inauthenticity
speaks volume!
D C de Oliveira

FACE YOUR FEARS
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