Well hello there!
I was checking my fridge and noticed that the last letter was on my birthday, but not even the last one. I was so young (?).
The morning calm is amazing, right?. Just grabbing a fresh cup of coffee, some cookies. Sitting on the couch, relaxing, planning the day, smoking a cigarette. Some random tv show playing in the back.
I have a long day ahead with work but its impossible to complain about it when you work of what you love.
It's been insanely hot here and I hate summer but maybe we get lucky a the temperature goes down for a couple days. And if it doesn't we can always start hitting walls with our heads or something!
So, today is my birthday.
Crazy year, huh?
I started the year in the UK, in a way... looking to escape from here. Escaping from having to deal with the first holidays in which there would be neither have mom nor dad.
I dealt and I'm still dealing with money problems, a consequence of the last years.
So yeah, this year sucks. For all this and for other reasons that everyone know about politics and stuff.
I'm 33 and healthy. I have reached that point where I can really treasure this. When you are young you don't really get how important it is.
I did had complicated times in the UK but I also finally saw that amazing place. I dreamed about that since I was a child.
Weakness vs Strength
Scrolling the feed I found an idea from the amazing Martha Lucia (PO: 55555) inviting us to talk about one of each. So, here I am.
One of my weaknesses is probably the way I love. When I love, I LOVE. And that applies to any kind of love. I love my friends as if they were my family. I love my family and my cat in a way that if something hurts them I transform completely, lol. And about romantic love, loving the way I do is a risk for obvious reasons. It's really hard for me to fall in love (thank god!) but when I do, I give my all. And yeah, I know what everyone will say. "That's ok, that's the way, it's not your mistake". Whether is or is not a mistake, it's a we...
"Don't ever let your mind stop you from having a good time"
- Jason Mraz
Live by this quote!
¿Why people feel this insanely need to ask about a personal matter?
I mean, I get it from my friends, obviously, they can ask questions about whatever they want.
But I mean those with whom you rarely interact, they find out that you broke up with your ex and start asking questions.
Dude, that's between us, move away.
Then you get to think about this a bit more and you realize:
"How sad must be the life of that person, to the point where he/she felt the need to ask about yours?"
And... the anger is gone. Too much energy for nothing.
No matter if I manage to be better most of the time some days. Eventually, out of nowhere for something silly or simple, I fall down.
Missing someone hurts. Is like a part of you that now is gone, at least in that way, at least for now.
And you want something. Just something. A text, a message, a call. One more second. Or just a minute to just be in connection somehow.
One of the most difficult things to do when you're having a bad time, is realize that is up to you. I learned this a long time ago, luckily (I guess, lol).
"Ok, I'm sad about this and that, but the tools, the handle of this situation is always in my hands".
Decisions. Decisions that may hurt but are a part of the road to make me happy again. This week is one of those.
1. I decided to put an end to a relationship (and we both did). It hurts like hell. But we were apart for a month thinking about what to do and clearly we couldn't find it. So, two paths there: keep waiting, standing in the middle of a place where the pain is obviously present constantly, or put a closure and be honest...
Time ago I saw this quote:
"Instead of saying "I don't have time" try saying "It's not a priority", and see how that feels. Often, that's a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don't want to. But other things are harder.
Try it: "I'm not going to edit you resume, sweetie, because it's not a priority." "I don't go to the doctor because my health is not a priority." "I don't see someone I care because it's not a priority." "I won't tell that person how I feel because it's not a priority."
If these phrases don't sit well, that's the point.
Changing our language reminds us that time IS a CHOICE. If we don't like how we're spending an hour, ...
Let's start pointing to the word, but the real meaning of it. These days we call "friend" to almost anyone and that, sometimes, somehow, makes noise in my head.
Don't get my wrong, I have people I care about in Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, here. Are they friends? nop. Most of them not. I have a couple of friends here that I treasure a lot, and the same with other social networks, but it's only a mall percentage of the people with whom I interact daily.
"Friend" is a word that we should value more. I can be unlucky in several aspects of my life, but for some reason I'm lucky with the people around me. I have the same friends for years, and obviously those that show up from ...
Hey pals, it's been a while, huh?
Last time I was here I was happy. I had my life in a new road, fighting, moving on, strong, in love.
Things change, people say. They do.
I'm probably going through one of the worst times of my life (and I've had many of those, trust me). That's why I felt like coming back to writing? maybe. Perhaps I simply missed you all, even when I write personal lettrs with some penpals.
Lettrs has always been a refuge for me. Almost nobody knows me here. That gives me some kind of "freedom" that I treasure a lot.
So, I guess it's a combination of these things. I miss being here. I miss writing and yeah, I probably need it even more these days.
some people come into your life
as a precious and wonderful surprise.
Hey there, guys!
It's been a while, isn't it? Somehow I can't find the same amount of time I used to have. After my mom's thing things are going crazy and I'm trying to get my life back to me, something that luckily, is happening. Finally!
Thank you so much for all the lettrs you've sent about that and about other things. Is always nice to read you and keep in touch with several of you. And yeah, is always amazing to be back.
The year is ending and I can't even process how different this year is to the last one, in good and bad ways.
It will be the first end of the year without parents and that hurts. I know, though, is something that everyone has to live. Is life. Things passes a...
Instead of complaining about everything that is wrong in your life,
Gratitude is the most valuable tool in our hands.
Somehow, I feel that today a new life is starting.
I'm drinking my second coffee while I write this, amazed because Lettrs finally added the write option on the new web. I never write on the phone, is annoying, so I've been feeling like writing and I couldn't. The day they add the change-stamps-option on the site I'll fall in love with Lettrs completely.
I was talking about a new life. Nothing that happened in a second or similar, is just a feeling.
I've been having good days, something that lastly wasn't normal in my life.
I'm working extremely motivated, something I've missed too much because I really love my work.
I'm drinking lots of coffee, something that always feels...
One afternoon 5 years ago ago, I was working on my PC and my mom was coming back from buying some things. I didn't move, knowing she'll come through the door saying "Hey, I got some chocolate for you". Seconds after, I saw her with lots of blood in her face. My heart stopped.
That was her first time falling. This started really slow, but since it was a risk for her to go out, she stayed at home. That didn't stop her from doing things, she never knew how to stay in the same place. She kept taking care of the house, cleaning, kept calling friends to come over because she knew, like me, how important the people we love is.
Somehow, bit by bit, she started falling more often. It was a matte...
*puts makeup on*, *grabs the mic*
Look who's here.
What's up, people?
After a long time I'm here. Don't know the reason. Or yes, but I'm pretty sure is a combo of those.
I've been living through a couple of complicated things that you'll probably find out in the next lettrs, and those situations made me run out of time to write, sadly.
I'm surprised of how many people wrote me to check if I was ok or why I wasn't writing. That was not only sweet but also nice, in a moment when almost nobody here knew that with that simply act they were making me feel a bit better while everything around me was a mess.
I knew I would come back, and that's what basically I answered in those case...
When two people love each other and they know to express that love to give mutual security, absolutely nothing is impossible to overcome.
In the end, the basis of everything is that, love.
Love overcomes everything.
In all kinds of relationships and in life itself.
She never trusted in people. She learned that trust is not a good choice, at least not in general.
Years ago she lived like that. Alone. Inside of a safe box where no one could enter. No matter how hard they tried, she never let people in.
Years can have weight. At the end she wanted to try again. More cautious, slower, but try.
She opened the door for a friend. One that opened his for her. They both took the risk, after being hurt a lot in the past.
With time this turned into more risks, always in a cautious way, but that person gave her the security of: "ok, sometimes you can trust people and open yourself".
Good life. Life with people she loves and she believe ...
Part of a dream, finally a reality
We all enjoy music, I'm pretty sure about that. In different ways, maybe, but we love it. For me, music is a big part of my life. I spend almost the whole time that I'm awake listening different kinds of sounds. Music also helped me when almost nothing could do it.
I remember watching myself in a deep black hole, without lights, hope, feelings, joy, people or a helping hand. I was scratching the walls from time to time, trying to get out, trying to reach the light just for a second, thinking that if I did that, the little ray of sunshine could make my heart a bit warmer. I couldn't, for a long time.
Someone special helped me. Someone that appeared ...
Things are strange in my life. Sometimes is just too much to handle. The people that know me will say that I'm strong. I am. It can sound like I have a big ego or something, but it's not that. It's just that I have been in dark places and I came out. I always did. So I don't have any stop to say it loud and feeling sure about it: I am strong.
But even strong people can fall. Taking care of someone old and sick for years can consume you, second by second. The waiting, the pain. The half of you wanting to have that person in this world and the other part that only wants this to end because clearly it's not good for anyone anymore.
I have always been against people living just because the...
So much in so little time. Feel that a person is now important to you, more than the distance. The link created, brick after brick, became so strong that it will do that in one way or another, that person will be always connected to you.
Building links is not easy. Perhaps the most important point (yes, even more than any kind of feeling), is honesty. The fact to be honest even when that will mean to lose something or generate some type of problem. The links are created when these small problems are left behind and both people know that sincerity is still present. Any type of link.
Friends, family, boyfriends and girlfriends, marriage. Avoiding honesty never work. You will not reach a ...
I love films. I love art in any form but since I have memory I love films. Before being so busy with work I use to go to cinemas to see absolutely everything, even those movies that came from some weird places and obviously weren't promoted like others.
Movies can take you to another place. Make you feel something you forgot how to feel. When you also work with visual things, you watch every detail. The photography, the costumes, the light, the way in which the director cuts each scene. You can also feel your body having different reactions depending on what's happening.
Think about it for a second. Tonight we have a movie that was filmed...
Almost a month without using Lettrs.
I'd like to be able to say that that was due to some surprising, strange or attractive reason but no, I just experienced some chaotic weeks and knew that I should focus on other things.
The funny thing is how much I've missed being here. There wasn't a day in which I didn't feel the urge to write and even when my work is partially based in writing, do it here is different. I don't have frames, rules, fixed topics. I have no limits, only those that I put.
Writing heals and I've missed that.
It's good to be back.
PS: Woah! So many new themes and stamps, so much to see!.
Still now stamps on web, though </3
[Three things to make life better, in a song of Jason Mraz]
"Number one I cry my eyes out and I dry up my heart, not until I do this will my new life start.
The second thing I would do is I would close both of my eyes and sing my thank yous to each and every moment of my life. I go where I know the love is and let it fill me up inside.
The third thing that I do now when my world caves in is I pause, I take a breath and bow and I let that chapter end. I design my future bright, not by where my life has been.
And I try, try, try, try, try again".
So, let's do this (we all need it sometimes). Let's let it out all the bad things, clear our hearts. Close our eyes, think how lucky we ...
You can be whoever you dream to be.
Staying in place of complaining is simple.
The first thing is to accept and love ourselves, with the good and the bad.
When we reach that point, the rest is in our hands. Completely.
Whether physical, mental or emotional, everything is slowly possible to change by different routes.
If we don't act, it's because we do not want. Sure, sometimes is difficult, but difficult or not, staying in "the complain" is much more comfortable and less satisfactory.
To be honest, it's cowardly.
So, get up, chin up, take a deep breath and think how you can approach to that being you want to be, you dream to be.
That simple gesture will take you a littl...
Last week someone asked me what I missed about being with someone.
The first reaction is that ... nothing. But no, it's not entirely true and within minutes the talk became more clear.
It took me a lot to learn to be single. I was always with someone, and when I was not was for a short period. At that time I didn't know the importance of knowing HOW to be alone.
Someone once told me that if you don't know how to be alone, you can never be with someone. I used to think it was just a saying, but is a reality. For being well with someone, you first had to learn how to be okay with yourself. To love yourself, accept, modify certain aspects and enjoy being single. Being alone is not the ...
•Things I find annoying [Part III]
1. People uploading 45 duck-face photos by day. I mean, really, girl, you are that needy?. Chose one you think that looks good and forget the rest. What's with that stupid face.
2. When my coffee cools or my beer heats. I work in the computer, so this always happens. I bring something, put it on the desk, and... I forget.
3. People living based on what other people could think. Be yourself, let your attitude flow, f*ck the rest.
4. Finding out that the now-heated-beer was the last one on my house.
5. When religious people want to push their beliefs into your life, or touch you with them in some way. Believe in what you need, leave me alone an...
•Things that I find enjoyable [Part III]
1. Taking time for me. I don't do that often, I should. Life can be really fast, right?. But taking just half hour for yourself can change the day. Do something stupid.
2. Air conditioner in summer. I can deal with cold and winter, I love that. But these little magical machines carriers of happiness that takes away the freaking heat are the love of my life. I could totally marry one. And I'm saving details here.
3. Creativity. In any form, it could be some detail in the streets, a sign, a quote that some friend texted me. Creativity fills me and makes my heart race.
4. Balloons. I don't know why, I'm a big girl. But they... float?.
I like life.
I like laughing, lose time. I like dancing when nobody can see me, sing out loud some weird songs with my awful voice, let it all out.
I like sunny days when it's not too hot and a bit of wind refresh your face. I like rain touching me, cleaning. I like to jump on the water and get wet.
I like cloudy days because they make you remember that clouds always leaves at the end and the sun shows up again.
I like especially nights. In night we are different, we talk more openly, we feel more. The darkness sometimes can be light.
I like the little surprises that life can bring. Those wonderful moments, maybe just seconds, when you feel completely filled with positive thing...