I close my heart altogether from all this pain?
To ignore all the feelings waltzing in and out of my heart, mind, and soul?
I'm not the girl who's always left behind to pick up the pieces?
To mend her shattered heart?
I was the frigid, nonchalant bitch like what everyone else thought of?
To forever guard her heart?
I was never the one who cared too much and loved too much?
To never fight and let it all slip through my fingertips?
My world would've been better, right?
To be the biggest iceberg in this cold and hard world?
The world became a living hell all because this heart was never all of the above?
To not be...
Yours are the eyes I still look for in a crowd.
Yours is the laughter I wish was echoing through the halls.
Yours are the hands I wanted intertwining with mine as I walk this Earth.
Yours is the smile I think of when I'm melancholy.
Yours are the lips I yearn for when I'm all alone.
Yours is the touch I want to give me warmth in the dead of the cold night.
Darling, it was always you. I think it will always be you.
I envy the cup of coffee that kisses your lips every morning...💔
There will come a time when you will truly never be there. You will be like the waves of the sea; suddenly crashing, rumbling, storming through my shore. Then you ebb away just as fast. The only difference is, waves constantly come back, but, you are one of the uncertainties of my life.
I'm so sorry
I can't let you go
I don't want to let you...
Sa bawat pagyapak ng aking mga paang sakong ng mga tsinenelas na iyong binigay, ipinagdarasal kong ito’y patungo sa iyo... ulit.
Where will I go?
Surely there are a plethora of places this world holds for me. Maybe I can explore the sands of deserts; go to the lands of kings past, the remnants of their glorious kingdoms still stand. I can then try to search for an oasis to quench my parched heart. Look into the desert moon in the vast sky, bathe underneath the twinkling stars.
Where will I go?
What about the vast oceans; of places yet to be explored. The dark caves full of water, and undiscovered treasures. The blue waters teeming with life; creatures of different sizes and shapes far beyond what your imagination can comprehend. The unimaginable, unreachable, and unconquerable deep. Just like facets of my soul that...
There’s a pain in my chest
knowing that I’ll never get the best of you
or the rest of you...
On an average, people need 500 square feet to make a home.
But all I need is 43 inches, a sure place where I cannot fathom where your heartbeat begins and mine ends.
You are my sin reincarnated, the only one I’d commit again and again; until the heavens will no longer look down upon me with mercy, until all of the angels condemn me, and until all of the saints stone me.
It is sad, but true. And I think that’s what makes me painfully and beautifully human. You make me human.
Somebody asked me how you are. And I felt like my whole world stopped at that moment. My breathing halted. I felt my pulse quickened all over my body. My heartbeat was like a strong drumroll on my ears.
I realize how much I miss your touch. I try to remember how your lips felt on mine. I reminisce how your breath would fan on my temple; how your heartbeat sounds like whenever I lay awake on your chest. I recall how we would fit perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle.
And then I remember how it all ended. I remind myself that it’s now over; How the pain gripped my whole being. I berate myself from even thinking about those things. Truly indeed, I will always be a silly, naive, little girl ...
At tulad ng pag ingat ko sa puso mong iyong pinahiram kahit saglit
Katulad ng marahang pagpahid ko sa mga luhang tumutulo galing sa iyong mga mata
Nang pag-alo ko sa mga hikbing nagmumula sayong dibdib
Mga pangarap at pangako mong di nakamit at pinagkatotoo
Giliw ako ang syang di bumitaw at lumimot
Ganoon ko rin pakaiingatan ang lahat ng alaala nating syang natitirang mumunting baon ko sa patuloy na paglalakbay
Kahit wala ka na sa aking piling
Truly indeed, human relationships are very hard and complicated. It’s not about how much practice or experience you have. It’s not about how many relationships or people you have been with. It’s not about how grand your gesture is, how much effort, money, or time you have exhausted. It’s one of the many things in this world that is so simple, it becomes so complex. And that’s what makes it a very amazing reason to be human...
We as humans cannot comprehend just how powerful love is, until we’re at the brink of losing it.
“They will love the better you
But I still own the ghost of you...”
-Palace, Sam Smith
Oh how cruel it is... to not be loved by the one you love. Or to not love the one that loves you...
Even when I’m facing storms, hardships, and great obstacles, there are times when relief is shown through a clear sky, even for a short while. And in those moments, I am in full solitude. It is when I truly realize, that despite everything, this is where I should be.
Kapag dumating ang takdang oras ng aking tuluyan ng pamamaalam. At kung ako ay makarating na sa aking parorooan, sino kaya ang aking daratnan?
Game of Fools
Not even a mighty king can breach my walls that easily. He will need the help of a dragon to do such. But a bastard of my choosing can pass and go whenever it pleases him.
Anger is not the opposite of love. I am way beyond that point now.
I am on the true side of the opposite of love; indifference.
It was not what I wanted, but needed. However, I cannot tell if it was one or the other, or both for you. I gave up reading your mind and giving my own colors to your every word and action. We both know you do not have it in you to do it. Not this way.
So I picked up the gun and placed it in your hand. I lift up your arm and steady your aim. I put my finger on the trigger. I do all of this while looking in your eyes and smiling. You do not have to see how terrified, hurt, and betrayed I feel at that moment. And I do not have to know how you feel and what you do after this.
So I pulled the trigger...
In death I believe that I will forget everything and have my peace, finally. In the cease...
Do I have the time to be sad? Of course. Do I have the time to stop? No, that is one luxury I cannot afford.
I will always be in mourning for what cannot be again, that is a definite fact. Nevertheless, I have an obligation to the only person in this whole cosmos who has always been there for me, myself.
Can I forgive? Of course, if it means it will bring me peace. But can I forget? No, I will always remember what I lost.