Somebody asked me how you are. And I felt like my whole world stopped at that moment. My breathing halted. I felt my pulse quickened all over my body. My heartbeat was like a strong drumroll on my ears.
I realize how much I miss your touch. I try to remember how your lips felt on mine. I reminisce how your breath would fan on my temple; how your heartbeat sounds like whenever I lay awake on your chest. I recall how we would fit perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle.
And then I remember how it all ended. I remind myself that it’s now over; How the pain gripped my whole being. I berate myself from even thinking about those things. Truly indeed, I will always be a silly, naive, little girl ...
At tulad ng pag ingat ko sa puso mong iyong pinahiram kahit saglit
Katulad ng marahang pagpahid ko sa mga luhang tumutulo galing sa iyong mga mata
Nang pag-alo ko sa mga hikbing nagmumula sayong dibdib
Mga pangarap at pangako mong di nakamit at pinagkatotoo
Giliw ako ang syang di bumitaw at lumimot
Ganoon ko rin pakaiingatan ang lahat ng alaala nating syang natitirang mumunting baon ko sa patuloy na paglalakbay
Kahit wala ka na sa aking piling
Truly indeed, human relationships are very hard and complicated. It’s not about how much practice or experience you have. It’s not about how many relationships or people you have been with. It’s not about how grand your gesture is, how much effort, money, or time you have exhausted. It’s one of the many things in this world that is so simple, it becomes so complex. And that’s what makes it a very amazing reason to be human...
We as humans cannot comprehend just how powerful love is, until we’re at the brink of losing it.
“They will love the better you
But I still own the ghost of you...”
-Palace, Sam Smith
Oh how cruel it is... to not be loved by the one you love. Or to not love the one that loves you...
Even when I’m facing storms, hardships, and great obstacles, there are times when relief is shown through a clear sky, even for a short while. And in those moments, I am in full solitude. It is when I truly realize, that despite everything, this is where I should be.
Kapag dumating ang takdang oras ng aking tuluyan ng pamamaalam. At kung ako ay makarating na sa aking parorooan, sino kaya ang aking daratnan?
Game of Fools
Not even a mighty king can breach my walls that easily. He will need the help of a dragon to do such. But a bastard of my choosing can pass and go whenever it pleases him.
Anger is not the opposite of love. I am way beyond that point now.
I am on the true side of the opposite of love; indifference.
It was not what I wanted, but needed. However, I cannot tell if it was one or the other, or both for you. I gave up reading your mind and giving my own colors to your every word and action. We both know you do not have it in you to do it. Not this way.
So I picked up the gun and placed it in your hand. I lift up your arm and steady your aim. I put my finger on the trigger. I do all of this while looking in your eyes and smiling. You do not have to see how terrified, hurt, and betrayed I feel at that moment. And I do not have to know how you feel and what you do after this.
So I pulled the trigger...
In death I believe that I will forget everything and have my peace, finally. In the cease...
Do I have the time to be sad? Of course. Do I have the time to stop? No, that is one luxury I cannot afford.
I will always be in mourning for what cannot be again, that is a definite fact. Nevertheless, I have an obligation to the only person in this whole cosmos who has always been there for me, myself.
Can I forgive? Of course, if it means it will bring me peace. But can I forget? No, I will always remember what I lost.
We were so adamant on making things right. We wanted everything to be perfect. We needed everything to fall in line. But we never thought that being together is not one of them.
She never wanted to leave.
But with the door shut,
The cruel words,
The painful caress,
And a crestfallen heart,
Yet she never wanted to leave.
My White Whale
My Game of Death
My Greek Fire
My Free As A Bird and Real Love
My Don Juan
My La Sagrada Familia
My portrait of George Washington
My Requiem in D Minor
My Don Quixote
My cure for cancer
We should not demand or expect from the people that we love. We can only have faith and hope.
If you were given the chance to seek the answers to all of your questions, would you? Why is ignorance blissful if that was the case?
I have one goal in mind. When I am introduced to someone, I want them to know me, not because I’m someone’s daughter. It should certainly not because I’m someone’s sister, friend, niece, cousin, and lover. Nor because I’m someone’s past, present, or future. I want them to know me as I am, and that should be enough.
I’d rather be alive, with a one in a million chance of holding you again in this life time. Rather than be a ghost, and just haunt you until the next.
If you ask me before if I want to go back, then yes. Darling I’d do it over and over again for you. Even though I know we’re bound to fail, no matter what.
But I was a fool then. And you taught me well. So if you ask me now if I would want to go back from the beginning, no, if it only means losing you yet again.
I’d rather move forward, to a time and place, when and where we’re both right for each other. And I hope with all my mind, body, heart, and soul that this time, it will be enough.