Thank you for the 118 days of making me feel special. I’m sorry if I need to end this abruptly okay because I know you are suffering from my selfishness. I’m sorry for saying I lied from the start. But all the “i love you’s” are true, trust me. Oh you don’t trust me anymore I know, but I just wanna say that those 118 days will always be treasured in my heart. The love may be lost, but I assure you that you will still hold my heart. I just don’t want to be a burden to you anymore. I want you to be free so you can soar high. I know you’re hurting but believe me for once, i love you, i will always. But this is it, the end of our love story. I love you, goodbye.
Papalapit ng papalapit
Malabo pero unti unti nakita ko ang iyong nakangiting mukha
Gusto kong tumakbo, yakapin kita
Pero sarili'y pinigil at baka magulat ka.
Nag-usap tayo ng parang kay tagal na nating magkakilala.
Nanood tayo ng palabas,
Oo ako na, ako na ang unang yumakap sa'yo
Sa kadahilanang nilalamig kasi ako.
Hindi ako nagsisinungaling, talagang nilalamig ako.
Pero gusto din kitang yakapin, buti na lang nilalamig ako. 🤣
At nung sinabi mong "kiss?"
Huminto ang puso ko tapos tumibok ng mabilis
At nung hinalikan mo ako, hindi ko alam ang gagawin.
"Oh that was perfect. I love you"
Pero hindi ko nasabi ang tatlong huling salita.
Pasensya ka na.
At takot pa akong mahalin ka.
I've told you I was a disaster. But you said, "I love a beautiful disaster."
But when the time comes when I am about to explode, you distanced yourself. You ran faaaar away so that not even a single debris can harm you. I was led to believing you can handle a ticking time bomb, but I'm used to it. Don't apologize.
I WAS MEANT TO EXPLODE ALONE. 💣
i said i want it to be serious
but i guess i said it at the wrong time
because you just laugh
and said, "You almost got me there"
- April Fools hugot
my chest hurts
my eyes burns
my mind spins
shouldn't have been.
for being bad
i don't deserve
you from the start.
so this is it
a goodbye indeed
all will remain
are memories we've gain
if i strip off my mask,
will you disgustedly turn your back
or will you embrace my scars
and turn it into stars?
that smile that makes butterflies fluttering to my core
and oh that voice can wreck havoc to my soul
i can taste your name at the tip of my tongue
it's bittersweet - euphoria and war combined.
she told him to go away
so he went.
if he only looked in her eyes
he'll see the defiance behind it
so she put up again
the walls that will shatter if he just looked into her eyes
and say to her, "I won't"
A trickle of warm liquid suddenly pour down her bare face. Then a sudden state of dejection just hit her right there. The tears won't stop no matter how she brush them away. And this lonely sob coming from her chest just start rising she immediately run to her room so that they won't see her in a mess. Because no matter what she do, they won't understand. She'll just be better off alone fighting the battle on her own.
I feel calm talking to you. Thank you for the time. I haven't seen someone as passionate as you when talking about something they clearly love. I can hear it in your voice. I like your laugh too.
I'm sorry for throwing the bear. I'm sorry if you're hurt. I'm sorry if you thought I don't like it. I'm sorry for having a blackout that time I don't even remember what I've done. But I'm relieved my memory has betrayed me because it would torture me a lot if I ever saw your face full of hurt because of what I've done.
I'M SORRY. I've only found out 5 days late of what I've done.
I'M SORRY. If only I could go back in time.
I'M TRULY SORRY.
Why am I doing awful things to guys I like??
On December 30, I finally saw you. I'm excited. You're the one I'm excited to see on our reunion. I was late, again. But at least I went, right? When I arrived, you didn't even talked to me. I don't like the guys who approached me. I thought maybe you didn't miss me after all. So I just drink. And when I downed 3 bottles, you guys asked us to go to the table. You didn't talked to me again. Then I was busily talking with this guy who likes my workmate. I needed clarification so we're talking like crazy. You tried to get my attention saying I shouldn't believe in whatever he's saying. We're not doing anything wrong so we just resumed. Then everyone thought I was so being drunk that time and the...
"I miss you"
But I already cut ties.
"You're the first person I remember I want to tell the good news with"
But you're not around now.
"I want to tell you my problems"
You're the only person that made it all easier
"I want to hug you"
But the gap can't be filled with temporary bridges.
"I want to apologize"
But apology is currently unaccepted.
Will you come back?
Can we please go back to the old days?
Even just for a day.
Did you hear that?
That's the sound of my heart beating.
Did you hear that?
That's the sound of your heart beating.
Remember the first day you approach me? Asking for help and I willingly give my hand. Then strangers turned to friends and friends turned into something else.
Lub. Dub. Dub.
Lub. Dub. Dub.
That's the sound of my heart falling.
Remember when you told me you liked me? I blissfully beamed at you when you said that. I'm falling and I know for sure you'll catch me down below.
Did you hear that?
Of course you wouldn't hear.
That's the sound of my heart breaking...
...when you said you love someone from years ago and I don't have...
Nostalgia is a fucking shit. Memories suddenly flood you mind
Then emptiness creep to your very core
Till your only option is to cry
To let your soul be cleansed
And your heart be renewed again.
Pasensya na nung sinusungitan kita. Pasensya na nung may nasabi akong nakasakit sa'yo. Pasensya na nung paulit-ulit kitang tinutulak palayo pero paulit-ulit ka pa ring lumalapit palapit. Pasensya na nung sinabi kong hindi kita gusto.
Pero ngayon at pinili mo nang lumayo, bakit ako nasasaktan. Bakit parang may kulang? Bakit parang kinuha mo ang puso ko pag-alis mo? Bakit ako nagsisisi sa nagawa ko? Bakit? 😞😔
Damn him for saying Hello first.
Damn him for chatting me daily.
Damn him for laughing at my silly jokes.
Damn him for always making me feel better when I'm sad.
Damn him for saying the right words.
Damn him for sending me memes.
Damn him for ignoring me when I'm already falling.
But DAMN ME for letting myself fall on someone who's intention is clearly friendship.
I don't wanna feel this - the slight flutter of my heart whenever I receive his message, the sudden spread of smile in my lips whenever I see his name, the butterflies in my stomach when we're having a conversation. I know he's just friendly, but my dumb heart says he's not. I know he won't even see me as more than a friend but my feelings is clouding my judgment. I don't wanna fall in this pit again, knowing that nobody will ever help me get out of it. Because the more I fall, the more I climb, the more I scrape my damn heart and the more it questions whether she is worth saving after all.
My weakness: falling for the wrong person. Every single time. One moment I am swooning over a guy, who only leave me hanging in the end. I don't wanna feel this pain again. Because the more I experience it, the higher the wall I build in my heart and I am afraid the right guy can't even climb it to make me feel loved and valued.
You've made me feel special, until I realize you talk to everybody else that way. You've made me believe you'll wait for me, only to realize you've move on to someone else a day after you said that. Am I not worth pursuing? Because every guy made me feel like I am not. Maybe yes. My self-confidence is crumbling.
Two years, that's how long it takes before I finally make up my mind. I thought I can find love in you, but I was wrong. Maybe life ain't a fairytale all along, but a nightmare to outlive. And now, I am finally letting go. Because holding on is even harder than letting go. I can do this. I can handle the pain. I can manage life without you. I can, because all I do is be tough.
They say you have to let go of the things that hurt you. But no matter how many times you hurt me, I still can't let you go. I am still holding on even though I shouldn't. I am still hoping even though it is already hopeless. I am a masochist, I will endure pain if it means loving you, hoping you'll realize I was right here, beside you all along.
Wag ka masyadong magpapansin, baka tuluyan na kong mahulog sa'yo. Wag ka masyadong ngumiti, baka hahanap-hanapin ko yan pag-alis mo. Wag mo kong pansinin, wag mo kong tignan, wag mo kong asarin, baka tuluyan na akong mahulog at alam ko namang hinding-hindi mo ka sasaluhin.
I didn't realize how one word from someone you love can make or break your day. Oh God! I think I am falling. And the hardest part is falling for someone who is miles away from you.
I don't know that I could feel this mixed emotions in one day. Yes, for a day you've made me feel wanted. When you said you love me, I can't help but feel doubt and disbelief. Can this be insta-love? But I don't believe in it. If you can fall in love in a day, then you would fall apart in a day too. But you've made me fall in love with you. Oh, you are so good with words. You say the right words at the perfect moment. You made me the most special girl in the planet. And as I dread for your reply, as seconds passed by, turned to minutes and hours, I can't help but feel afraid. Is this the time you fall out of love? Or I've just been hallucinating? Daydreaming of love that is not there all alon...
As you lay in bed, you're overwhelmed by sudden sadness asking yourself, "Am I not good enough?" You can't even pick up the broken pieces of your heart. You gave too much. You care too much. You loved too much. And TOO MUCH can be a damaging thing. And you start to realize that you'll never be a main character in his story. You'll never be part of his happily ever after, just a distant memory in his once upon time.