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September 16, 2017
 

My darling,

I couldn't decide
If we could hack it-
An ocean between us,
Such a distance apart.

I desperately queried:
"The gap wouldn't
Draw us close,
It would swallow us whole-
Would it not?"

But you looked at me,
Laughing:
"Oh honey,
It's just the world."

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SINGING BIRD
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PO#627206
2
0
September 15, 2017
 

My love,

I have been torturing myself.
I am a masochist,
The way I dwell on you
As though you were here.
My mind doesn't believe me.
My heart needs to make sure.
I am standing in a pool of blame;
I am hurting everywhere.
The pain is a reminder.
It's what is left of you.
So I soak in it.

I read the love letters.
Yours, others'.
I read about love and I bottom-out.
It is so heavy, holding a feeling
That has always been cultivated and
Carried by two.
(Why didn't it leave with you, and
Will it ever go?)

It weighs on me-
I am not strong enough to lift it up alone.

It's taking me down with it.

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LOVE A BIRD
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PO#627206
3
0
September 13, 2017
 

Sweet one,

There are days
When I know
I've lost you.
But I will look for you,
Always,
As if I were a dog at a window,
A coastguard in a storm,
Or manning a fire tower.

I will find you again,
As I often do-
All smirks and reassurances.
I won't speak
Of how I didn't blink or breathe,
Or of how I prayed relentlessly
For your safe return.
I won't utter a word
Of regret,
Of anger,
No.
My fear mutes all else
(I am afraid I can't keep you).
My languid movements
Will disguise it as relief,
And it will be all too easy
To believe it as truth.

I will know how to measure time.
I will know how I am losing it.
You see,
I will know how long it takes
To lose you.

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LOVE A BIRD
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PO#627206
1
0
September 11, 2017
 

My love,

I am combative today.
I am fighting myself
As a means of
Fighting for you.

My mind
My mind
My mind

It tells me I am undeserving.
It tells me I am going to ruin this.
It tells me all of this goodness
Is temporary.

It is a spiral,
A slippery slope,
A slide.

But the landing is always soft,
The landing is always you.

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BROKEN WINGS
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PO#627206
2
1
September 11, 2017
 

My darling,

I learned so young
(I was so impressionable, then)
That integrity was
A desideratum
When it came to my
Personal growth.
It wasn't enough
To stand in it,
I had to surround myself
By those who
Navigated with it.

You see,
I move too much of myself
To the rhythm of
Too many people, and
When I am swayed
In the wrong direction
Things do fall easily from me.
Like rotting apples,
They plunk, roll-
I have to wait.
I have to wait
Until they grow back,
Robustly,
As they will.
And, my, will they
Take the time.
The time I
Can never afford
To spend,
But am always
Prescribed.

(Nurture those traits,
Time insists-
No trait is formed
Without care).

There is so much hurt
That hurtles in...

EARLY BIRD
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PO#627206
1
0
September 10, 2017
 

Couldn't you see,
My darling,
That when you planted
all those doubts,
It was in their nature to grow?

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FEATHERED BIRD
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PO#627206
1
0
September 9, 2017
 

My darling,

I fear what's forthcoming but I'm not sure you'd know it to see it.
I keep saying that I feel so empty.
I keep being told to be positive, so I smile and bite my tongue.
No one will let me be sad the way you did.
It's just that it drowns you when your hands are tied.
It's just that I never drowned when you helped me swim through it.

They insist that every change is a learning opportunity, even the bad ones (especially the bad ones).
It's just that I've already seen too many and they haven't left me yet.

Here I am, so young to be set in ways that I have yet to call my own but crave at any rate.
Lately, I yearn to live in sameness.
To spend my days
Smelling honeysuckle and crack...

YOUNG BIRD
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PO#627206
2
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