Explore
Sign Up
Login
February 22, 2018
 

My love,

I know
That most of my
Bravest choices
Have been born out of
The fear of the mundane.
I am more afraid
Of being stuck somewhere
Than I am of anything else.
This is where spontaneity manifests.
This is where erraticism takes flight.

You are so bold,
They tell me;
You are so free,
They say.

But I am running, running,
All the time,
And mostly,
I don’t know what from.

Thumb_letter_signature_1519320648
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
2
0
February 19, 2018
 

My darling,

The moon hangs
Low and heavy here,
Like a pair of cupped hands,
Or a bowl of milk
That fills and empties
With the passing nights
And the thirst of the sky.

I remember how it stood upright
Where I come from,
Like a freshly picked banana,
Swelling over a fortnight
Like a pregnant woman’s belly.

Things have changed shape,
Meaning
(Have I?).
Everything seems
So different to me now
(Am I?).g

Thumb_letter_signature_1519008950
GREY AND WHITE
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
3
0
February 12, 2018
 

My love,

I know that
When I feel stunted
I am looking down-
I do not notice the heights
I am reaching in
My growth,
But it is there.

When I feel am without words,
I know I have exhausted them.
That when I listen, or I read,
I will soon be, once again,
Overcome by them.

When I am without inspiration,
I know that I am too far
Away from myself
To let anything affect me
(There is always
Something stirring
In self-discovery).

When I feel unloved,
I know it is because
I have not been accepting of it
And not because I am without it.

Thumb_letter_signature_1518419255
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
2
0
February 5, 2018
 

My darling,

I cannot control
My mouth.
When I want to say
The most important
Words,
My lips will not
Part,
My teeth are ivory bars
And will not let them out.

When I want to say
Nothing,
My tongue catapults
Words into the air,
Because soundlessness
Is so much more
Exposing.

Quiet me.
It is there that you will
Discover who I am.
I am in the silences.

Thumb_letter_signature_1517850912
MESSAGE OF LOVE
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
3
1
February 5, 2018
 

My love,

I am staring at the nose
Of a situation riddled
With curses.
It is so dressed up
At times, it is easy
To forget what I am
Dealing with.

I am wading through
The awful-
In hopes to find
The blessings.
In hopes that
Nothing will grab
Hold of me
Or become
A part of me.

You are in here,
I cannot leave you.

I feel my body changing
In the poison.
I feel my mind shuddering,
My heart sputtering.
I feel my spirit
Attempting to dislodge
Itself from me-
It does not want to exist here.
It does not want to
Be exposed to this.

You are in here,
I will not leave you.

You are in here,
I will not leave you.

Thumb_letter_signature_1517819965
POETRY BOOKS
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
2
0
February 3, 2018
 

My darling,

If you knew
How my mind would bend
Like refracting light
To include you
In every thought,
You would think me
Tormented by your love.

If you knew
How my fingers would separate,
How they would reach out
In anticipation of
The meeting your hand,
You would think me
Starved for your love.

If you knew how
My eyes would dilate,
How they would dance
In their captivation,
You would think me
Beguiled by your love.

In truth,
I am them all
When it comes to you.

I am insatiable.
I am insatiable
I am insatiable.

Thumb_letter_signature_1517603166
ORIGINAL
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
3
1
January 30, 2018
 

My love,

It is remarkable,
The evolution of self.
The normalization of a situation.
How these two
Progressions
Can run parallel to one another
And never quite meet.

In times when I would be
Free of trouble,
I would stagnate,
At times, regress.
In times of hardship or challenge,
However,
I
Become.

In the face of anger,
I seek peace.
In the face of entitlement or loss,
I seek gratitude.
In the face of ignorance,
I seek knowledge.
In the face of unkindness,
I seek empathy

I will not wish away these moments.
They will crumple me.
They will collapse me,
Sure.

But they will be my bedrock.

Thumb_letter_signature_1517334958
POETRY BOOKS
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
0
0
January 29, 2018
 

My darling,

The unaffected gaze
Of a passing camel,
Head swaying with the oscillation
Of the Toyota truck it travels in.
The dulcet tones of
The call to prayer
Are cause for pause and
Stir my spirit.
They remind me it is there for the waking.
The perfumed airs of the souks,
The scents left
In the wakes of the passersby.
The rousing aroma of Arabic coffee-
The promise of
Caffeine, cardamom and saffron.
The greetings between women,
Abundant with kisses and caring.
New words being rounded by my lips-
As-salam alaykom,
Habibti.
I hear stories
I yearn to understand.
New tastes dance on my tongue-
Dried Dabbas dates,
Khabees,
Lgeimat.

The ease of the weave
Between the days.
I am here to le...

POETRY BOOKS
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
0
0
January 26, 2018
 

My love,

You ask me
What is wrong with me.

I say,
I will not excuse
The sepulchral tones
That excavate the truth
From my interred heart.

You ask,
How could I be sipping
Such a poisonous nectar
When the elixir of life
Is so much sweeter
(My mind produces
The most delicious danger).

I want to say,
You are.
You are what is wrong with me.
You are why I cling
To anything that reminds me
Of the lifeless.

I want to say,
It is easier this way.
I want to say,
You know this.
I want to say,
I take that back,
It was not your fault
Until it was.
And even then,
It wasn’t entirely.

Thumb_letter_signature_1516946805
POETRY BOOKS
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
2
1
January 23, 2018
 

My darling,

I was supine
In the face of it.
I was thirteen
When I learned
I could have
An outer-body
Experience.
That if I didn’t claim it,
Someone else could.
My hands
Were not my hands.
My mouth
Was not my mouth.
I was thirteen
When I choked
On the dust
Billowing
From the collapse
Of my tower of
Innocence.
He was celebrated.
He was such a good boy.
My embarrassment of the display
Was clouded in the pride
That he was pleased.
He told me he loved me
For the first time,
With the purity of a child.
I smiled.
I distinctly remember smiling.
When I returned the words,
I tasted dirt.

Thumb_letter_signature_1516723015
UNIVERSAL BIRD
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
0
0
January 23, 2018
 

My love,

You were
Serendipitous
And a harbinger
Of the love
That would become me.
You showed me
Understanding-
And at the time
That was what
I thought it meant
To be in love-
To be understood,
To understand.

You could tell me
My next move with the keen sense
Of Bobby Fischer.
I could sense your desire
Like the undulating,
Responsive body
Of Mata Hari.

You said we came
From two different worlds,
I told you there was only
One world to come from.
I told you I had lived
So many lives
And you said life
Was only beginning.

We understood what
We both needed,
But it took a little while
To comprehend
That we weren’t it.

Thumb_letter_signature_1516688071
I LOVE WRITING DAY
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
1
0
January 22, 2018
 

My darling,

I believe in contradicting myself.
In proving myself wrong as often as
I prove myself right.
I believe in making mistakes
Until the lesson sticks
Or the error loses its appeal.
I believe in energy.
In manifesting it.
In carving out the people and situations
That drink it out of me.
I believe in intention.
In being mindful of what it is.
In getting behind the tongue
Of the intention of others’.
I believe in intimacy.
In unadulterated communication.
In looking directly in the eye; in holding the gaze and in holding a hand.
I believe in gratitude.
In acknowledging all the goodness, the love.
In knowing letting go is an act of grace.

I believe in allowing myself.
I believe in de...

A BIRD WITHOUT WINGS
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
1
1
January 22, 2018
 

My love,

I don’t dare
Question
What I did to
Deserve you-
That would suggest
I don’t believe
That I do.
I express gratitude,
Instead,
For your coming
Into my life
At a time when I knew
What I deserved.

Thumb_letter_signature_1516636095
BE A BIRD
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
0
1
January 22, 2018
 

My darling,

Oh yes,
Oh yes,
I was the problem.
When it came down to it,
My instincts said
Fly, girl,
When you were hoping
With your wringing heart
That they would say
Fight, girl,
For whatever we were.
I’ll be frank,
And you won’t like it.
You’ll tell me sometimes
The ideas get to my head, and
This will be one of those times.

I got to the part
In their book of letters
Where Anaïs outgrew Henry
Or at least
She kept growing
In a different way,
And he couldn’t bend
Or veer
Or his radius was too big
And he took too long,
And there she went,
Away, away.
And I don’t know if I wanted
To be like her,
Or if I was like her,
But I knew I had to go elsewhere
At a moment when you
Were counting o...

I LOVE WRITING DAY
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
0
1
January 2, 2018
 

My love,

It stills means something.
The endless hunger.
The pitiable expression.
The fear of losing
The person you never had.
It still means

Something.

It masterfully moved you.
It awkwardly decided for you.
It was a guiding force in your
Existence for a time.

So when you find yourself
Deliberating
In the brief and burgeoning
Hours of the morning
Whether this was love
Or something else-
At least you can safely say
It was something.
Even if it wasn’t meant for you.
Even if it wasn’t meant for long.
It gave you something
Meaningful within.
It was a part of your making.

Thumb_letter_signature_1514950984
LITTLE BIRD
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
0
1
January 1, 2018
 

My darling,

You loved her
And substituted her name
For mine
While we tried to make our way
To one another.
I knew.
Sometimes I denied I did,
But I knew.
Even when you said it with conviction.
Even when you looked me square in the eye.
I always let you say the words
I wanted to colonize but never could.

You’ve since opened your arms
To another,
And now I wonder if it’s my name
You long to say
Instead of hers.

(Is that all the love
That was meant for me
Or
Was I ever really there at all?)

Thumb_letter_signature_1514824910
BE A BIRD
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
1
1
November 12, 2017
 

My love,

I'll admit
There are moments
When I lose sight
Of why I'm here.
I'll admit
The lapses
Come more often
Than they don't.

I am difficult,
I know.
I reflect my situation.

Know that
I didn't come to you
For a paradigm shift,
I came to you
For a lift of the spirit.
I need to know
I'm not alone in my worry,
Because my mind
Can be the loneliest of places
(I would rather be in yours),
And it's only recently
That I've discovered
It doesn't have to be.

I think it would be
Helpful if you could empathize-
Vocalize-
That we can do this together.
This is not forever,
We have agreed on that.
But it could just be
The beginning of it.

Thumb_letter_signature_1510506197
FLYING HIGH
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
2
1
October 28, 2017
 

My darling,

We have been undoing
Ourselves
From one another
For so long
That when we finally found
Ourselves unattached
We stayed near,
Our fingers and tongues continuing to
Practice knots.
Was it
For fear of the unknown,
Or the comfort in knowing
You're tied up in someone
That kept us close
In what should have been
Our moments of escape?

Had we forgotten
How arduously we worked
To set ourselves free?

Did we forget that
We taught each other
Things we should never
Have had to know?

We don't want this.
This isn't what we deserve.
And yet,
Here we are.

Untangled and side by side.

Thumb_letter_signature_1509198467
BROKEN WINGS
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
2
1
October 28, 2017
 

My love,

Some mornings are so gentle.
They wake you with
The heavy breaths
Of a loved one curled into you.
They wake you into a weekend
And let you fall back into them.
They wake you with
Scents of maple syrup
And coffee
And sounds of wind chimes.

There is so much to look forward to,
But it can all wait.

And it doesn't matter how stale,
How difficult,
The day becomes.
If entered tenderly,
Lovingly-
That will keep you upright.

Thumb_letter_signature_1509184870
FLYING HIGH
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
1
0
October 25, 2017
 

My darling,

Where I come from,
There are months that pass me by
Without allowing
A singular glimpse of the sun.
And when it comes,
In all of its bulbous glory,
My spirit frenzies to lift towards it.
For a moment
I do not know sadness.
For a moment
I am reminded of the relief
In the temporary.
Of the relief in change.

I come alive.

Where I am,
The sun is direct
And difficult.
I cannot turn to face it
And I simmer underneath it.
I do not remember how the rain feels
On my cheeks,
Nor the reprieve of a nebulous sky.
I yearn for what were once
Perceived inconveniences.

I blame the sun, or the lack thereof,
But I should blame the mundanity
Of seeing a sky so steady.

(Why do I need everythi...

SING LIKE A BIRD
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
3
0
October 17, 2017
 

My love,

Tell me how to love you
When I'm searching for you, but
You're nowhere to be found.
Tell me how to love you
When you make your way back,
But I've already given up hope.
Tell me how to stay steady
In these rogue waves, my love.
There is so much back and forth,
So much rocking to and fro that
We forget how to coast.
We forget how to stay still.
And
Even on the calmest days,
We capsize.

Thumb_letter_signature_1508260704
BE A BIRD
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
5
0
October 14, 2017
 

My darling,

I cannot write yet.
I am static in a bygone time,
You see,
So the past tense
Does not make sense here.

I still write
I am (in love).
You are (in love).
We are (in love).

I cannot write yet.
The past tense
Does not make sense here.

Thumb_letter_signature_1507989212
FAITH LIKE A BIRD
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
2
1
October 12, 2017
 

My love,

You are water.

I cannot see to the depths of you, as
I can see my reflection in you.
I can quench my thirst by your body, as
I can become waterlogged by my own greed.

I can drown in your turbulence, as
I can float on the lull of your gentle seas.
I can be sucked into the undertow, as
I can be carried to shore like driftwood.

I can only tread in you for so long
Before I recognize
That I am not, in fact, able to hold you.
That I am solely able to be held by you
When you care to let me in.

You slip through the slender spaces
Between my fingers,
And I haven't the slightest of
Grips on you, have I?

Thumb_letter_signature_1507818253
FIRST FLIGHT
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
2
0
October 3, 2017
 

My darling,

My cognomen
Comes with flight.
I am a flight risk,
You tell me.
I am flighty,
You insist.

Every time I speak,
You see feathers
Falling out of my mouth.

I am circling above you
(Look up, look up).
I need air,
I need space,
But, mostly,
I need you.

Thumb_letter_signature_1507010997
NO BIRD
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
2
1
October 1, 2017
 

My love,

How did I get so far away from you?
I send you the sun while
You send me the moon.
We never see the sky
The same way at the same time
Anymore,
And it unsettles me.

Everything is burning in front of me.
Fire is as much the fear
As it is the inspiration, here-
Apricot sand dunes
And cinnamon buildings
That sway in the haze.
Cardamom roads holding a heat
That licks at your ankles.

The days are long and hot
And stick like tar,
But somehow they are always
Gone by morning.

The days,
They are so like you.

Thumb_letter_signature_1506833497
THE BIRD
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
4
0
September 26, 2017
 

My darling,

I am lacking in many ways:
My behaviour,
My pockets,
My word choice.
I feel them all distinctly,
But it is the poverty in time
That weighs heaviest on me.

I needed more time to get to you.
I was asking you for more time.

It wasn't my love for you
That was feeble, for
That grows, still.
I wanted to come to you
Strong and stable,
As someone you deserve.
I didn't want to believe that
My quest for solidity
Would be what would unsteady us.
That prolonging my arrival
Would draw us out
Instead of draw us in-
Our plan was conceived too quickly,
And our plan fell apart just as fast.

I felt the urgency between us then,
As I feel the state of emergency
Between us now.
You promised...

A BIRD WITHOUT WINGS
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
3
1
September 24, 2017
 

My love,

It's been one week since we
Spoke for the last time
Because I had to go.
One week since I had a
Mouthful of endearments
And handfuls of poems.
My heart is so full of you, but the love pours out like the tea of a teapot,
Seeking new bodies to warm.
The spillage,
You should see it.
I am roaming,
I am roaming the world again.
You asked me as I departed:
What better way to live is there?
And I told you that
A life is better spent
In love.  

Thumb_letter_signature_1506280674
FREE BIRD
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
2
0
September 22, 2017
 

My darling,

I don't know how to write you,
And still my hands pull me to paper.
Is the urge to let go
Or the desperation to preserve you
That cradles the pen between my fingers time after time?
These letters, these stories,
They're replete
With love and loss and language,
And you thread through them all.
You're the only thing
That ever kept me together-
Did you know?

Thumb_letter_signature_1506053795
BIRD OF THE SOUL
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
2
1
September 21, 2017
 

My love,

Most days,
I don't know if I'm writing
To myself or to you,
But the ceiling is alive today,
And it is all the same.

Thumb_letter_signature_1505999072
FLYING HIGH
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
3
0
September 16, 2017
 

My darling,

I couldn't decide
If we could hack it-
An ocean between us,
Such a distance apart.

I desperately queried:
"The gap wouldn't
Draw us close,
It would swallow us whole-
Would it not?"

But you looked at me,
Laughing:
"Oh honey,
It's just the world."

Thumb_letter_signature_1505582168
SINGING BIRD
Thumb_1504748261
PO#627206
2
0