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R. Paul

PO# 119545
India
India
Between the pain and sadness there are few precious moments of happiness
March 10, 2019
 

Forget Me Not !

Before we parted,
You said something broken hearted.
I'll remember you forever granted,
I'll even remember the heart ache.
I did hope we never have to be departed,
But you wanted to end what we had started .

And you kept your promise till the 10 months started,
But like I told you wouldn't remember me I hated being this smarted.
Now decades later that promise is discarded,
But I still remember you even tho it's hard.

I still whisper to the winds what you whispered before our last kiss

Forget Me Not

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BUSINESS SUIT
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February 24, 2019
 

My anxiety ......

It's been more than a year she left me,
It's been more than an year of me trying to find you.

I've been to churches, temples and even mosques ,
I'm yet to visit a synagogues.
I'm a mere mortal trying to hear your voice God,
I've come back at your doorsteps against all odds.

Remember God,
I'm like a flower quickly fading, here and gone tomorrow. So don't make me wait don't stall.

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CORPORAL PAT TILLMAN
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February 24, 2019
 

I'm waiting ......

We first met when I came into this world,
I learnt who you were.
I was taught rules on how to steer,
I was given few peers.
I was told I was dear,
But I never got you see you in real.

Then the dark times came, I tried to hold on,
But it was the greatest storm.
It wiped down everything I ever owned,
I cried, I raged , I rebelled, I raged.
I grew so angry that you didn't exist I claimed.
But the hurt wouldn't go away, the darkness wouldn't stop,
And then I proclaimed your bully who hits me when I'm down I told everyone heck I yelled !

Your a bully who picked on me for no reason,
You pushed me into the worst season.
But you wouldn't hear to anything I had to say for I'd ...

CORPORAL PAT TILLMAN
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February 18, 2019
 

Greatest trick Devil played was he made the world believe he didn't exist.

They say Terror has no religion,
They say terror has no nationality

But you can't ignore the passports these nationless terror perpetrators hold.
You can't ignore when a nation applauds such terrorists and provide shelter.
You can't ignore their belief that their religion calls for and clerics remain silent.

A defense personal is suppose to be unbiased, but that ethos becomes blurred when I loose 7 batch mates in just 3 years.
As a civilian the guilt piles on that my brothers are attacked by cowards and we can do very little to avoid it.

ORIGINAL
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February 14, 2019
 

I think my heart is dead

It's still pumping that liquid red,
And I keep my body fed.
But I think my heart is dead.

Valentine's day is here,
But I can't even feel the warmth of another body near.
I think I should feel sad cause I don't think anyone is dear,
But what's weird is I don't even crave for beer.

My mind is just focused on shifting here,
I'd rather get an offer letter than a tinder match that's near.

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LET'S FALL IN LOVE
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February 11, 2019
 

Little while bitter

It's been awhile since I've been here,
I no longer drown in bitter beers.
My vision isn't very clear,
But the notion is very dear.

My goal in my mind is seared,
And I'm consulting all my peers.
But when it doesn't happen it takes over , it's my old friend fear,
And I'm taking a risk that's so much costlier.
But still stuck on the neutral gear,
but I hope now that God is near.
And believe he still hears

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LET'S FALL IN LOVE
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January 30, 2017
 

I wanna ....

I want to be positive,
Just stop being so negative.
But you can't change years of programming in a night,
People tell me I should try some sedatives.
Prozac and Novacaine I'm being told by a sad relatives,
But I'd rather let time for natural bliss.

I'm no longer searching for a new Mrs,
I wanna focus on me and start a new biz.
Groom myself and watch the world call Me a Wiz .

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CELEBRATING REPUBLIC DAY
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January 26, 2017
 

Over you !

I'm high,
Yet I don't wish to write.
Not about you any more,
I guess your outta my sight.

:D that's all folks

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OUR LOVE
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January 24, 2017
 

You !

I've been avoiding you,
On Facebook,what app, Snapchat and LinkdIn too.
Deleted our chats n pics of us with Marine Drive view,
My heart skips a beating knowing we are thru,
And no love poems and confessions will end with you saying I love you too.

So like my brother told me,
Stare at it, and let your world burn.
Let things take turn for the worst and everything else be of no concern.
Fall down and cry, even if you feeling like it's better to die.
When your broken from within and you can't fake a smile,
When even alcohol flows like river Nile.
Curse your heart and mind,
not even to yourself be kind.
Blame yourself for not trying,
Even if you know its all a lie !

Cause when your done ...

TRUMP, 45TH PRESIDENT
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January 22, 2017
 

Even alcohol seems like water,
Cause the high she gave was like no other.
Each time we met, I fell for her,
Like a drug she made me want her further.

I'll find you again,
Before the April rains !
Take your time no one is to blame,
Good things move at their own pace.
But would you spot me, I'm no ace,
And you are beautiful with that angle face.
Is that why we playing this game of chase,
You've left me in a bind for your lips I've had a taste.

Stay abit longer,
I'm not yet stronger.
Just a lil bit longer ?

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TRUMP, 45TH PRESIDENT
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January 20, 2017
 

Blur ..

I'm focused do I write about her or do I write about me ,
Or about my trips to sea,
Never trips to be set free .
For on lettrs  I'm free to be me,
I can whine and moan about being weak.
So don't let this feature,
It's like wasting a dream.

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CATCH IT
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January 17, 2017
 

Never to late ?

We had spoken to each other,
I thought you'd be safe.
I swear when I held you,
I didn't know tears would come with your name.
When we smile and clicked pics,
Never thought pics would be framed.
I'd brought you roses,
Didn't know would have to hold a wreath.
Please tell me I could hug you,
Even if your hug is a fake.
I've been crying every night,
Tell me what am I to do God Sake.
Maybe I'd end it too,
Would someone drive thru my heart a wooden stake.

For I can't stand here at your funeral, miles away from your grave,
still I'm going insane

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BASEBALL
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January 14, 2017
 

I'm drunk

And rather than acting funny,
I text her sorry ..

Not cause I did something wrong,
But sorry cause I couldn't save you from you .....

BASEBALL
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January 12, 2017
 

It had been over 2 hours since he had HALOed into LZ.

His new identity awaited him, He had gone thru his briefing several times over his head. He couldn't believe he had to dropped into his own country like this. He was always told he would be a protector for his country but never fathomed he would have to hunt his own kind.

He was no longer the young troubled teenager who had found his way to desk of Chief Commander of Military Intelligence Western Division. He was now the man trained to protect his county in 164 different style and his medals laid off in a metal box marked JCO6005INX at HQ.

It was a simple meet greet with a so called revolutionary, moments later he used one of the 164 s...

ORIGINAL
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January 10, 2017
 

The Test !!!

I'm worried ,

I have this big test,
I haven't had Enoch rest

I was up all night trying to study hard books up till the chest .
I think I'll fail this time I must confess :/

If y'all must know I was giving a blood test :P

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LETTRS BLACK AND WHITE
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January 9, 2017
 

Not the One....

hey there my new friend,
Come here there is something I'd like to share.
I know in the past few days when you were down I was the one who cared.
But like I told you before we aren't a pair.
It might sound harsh and least bit fair,
And the dam of tears you held might tear.

But I can't keep up this facade ,
My heart still belongs to the past.
So understand when I drop your card,
It's hard for me to break your heart.
The truth you must face we are world's apart ,
I've made this clear from the start.

Evey time you said I love I've said no and depart ..

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LETTRS BLACK AND WHITE
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January 8, 2017
 

Hugs ....

About a year from now,
I was returning from Marine Drive
I'd fallen in love somehow.
It didn't happen when we shared our pain,
I'm sure it didn't happen when I spoke to her in the broken dialect of Spain.
Although we did share love of Mid June Rains.
I'm sure it wasn't the way moon glowed,
Or how the retrieving waves exposed the sand floors.
I doubt it was when we held each other's hands,
When we got up to leave cause her family n my office  had other plans .

I'm sure it was when she hugged me in the cab,
I felt like she was my missing puzzle that's why i suppose ......on to her I tightly grab

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LOVE WINS
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January 3, 2017
 

Hitting restart ...

My inside burn,
May its cause of all rum that I've had.
I think it's something to do cause I feel sad,
You see there was this idiot he made this mistake.
He thought he'd learnt from his mistake and he was iron clad,
the poor fool lil did he know he would loose his mind soon n go mad.
Now just to get up he'd need Vodka with crann,
He'll get over her it's become  a fade.
Maybe later he'll write poems about her posing as Rad.

Maybe I'll have a bud tonight,
Who am I kidding it'll problem be 10 pints in spite.
Even the demons agree what happened isn't right,
So let's high, maybe it'll calm the nerves that never knew fright.
I think end of Ol boy is near the new guy is gonna b...

HAPPY 2017!
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January 2, 2017
 

Central to Phoenix

I still don't understand why are we apart,
Just cause someone told the world our Gods reign a different part ?
Didn't we know this when we had decided to start?
I thought we would figure this out weren't we smart ?
I guess destiny played it's part.

So what now,
Do we just ignore our past.
How long will your silence last,
What happened to magic you'd cast.
Another enchanters approaches me,
She tries hard but spells don't Work I'm still stuck in the past.

Or maybe it's  

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THE KISS
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December 30, 2016
 

Confused ...

I thought I heard you stay with me forever,
May I miss heard you cause looks like you said never !
I'll remember you when all my friends are gone,
Maybe I'll sing you a song.

So fare thee well oh honey,
I'll be gone.
Even when you call my name,
And I'll make sure I'll be gone.
For someone else has understood my value,
Sadly it still isn't you,
It's only a matter of time I'll replace you.
For I can't seem to find my heaven we once drew amidst you .

GLITTER AND GOLD
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December 29, 2016
 

It's funny how I blamed you for taking her away from me. And even thought I wasn't religious I started praying for her every moment went I regained my sanity

CARRIE FISHER
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December 25, 2016
 

Blame the weather ....

The phone rang insanely,
He couldn't notice the glowing shimmer.
As the screen went dimmer,
He held on tighter.
For he didn't want to lose the moment kind of .
As they adjusted behind the sheets,
He couldn't stop what his mind imagined.
For others would have surely called it a sin,
But for him it was pure from within.

As it got colder,
He covered very inch of her over.
And as he whisper dozing off to sleep I love you.
He realized it was just a dream and a warm pillow instead of her body being pulled closer

THE PENGUIN STAMP
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December 25, 2016
 

Last Christmas .....

Every year it's the same,
It's always tears never velvet rain.
Its hard to say how to convey,
I still hold on to you it pains.
Why is it that every December it's the same.
I'm always alone and my pillows with stains.

I'm gonna stay strong,
Watch me walk thru the widow pane.
Cause this ain't a game like Max Payne,
So if I falter help me strong keep me refrain,
I'm sure me and her are to blame.
But I rather wish we'd work thru it than acting like innocent game

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ROGUE ONE - STAR WARS
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December 23, 2016
 

The Story ...

So a year I left everyone behind,
I wanted to stand tall maybe that's why.
I broke a few hearts while few broke mine,
But done worry we all got wine & fine dine.

I have grown a bit older,
Lil bit wiser but not colder.
I'm tougher now to carry the weights on my shoulder,
I'll help you with your boulders.
If you lonely and world seems colder,
Text me new friend better than nursing a depressing hangover ;)

OUTER WORLD PEACE
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December 22, 2016
 

It's been a while since I was here,
It feels to new yet old thus I have lil fear.
But I think I'll get used to this to .

Glad to be back to #lettrs again !!!

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ROGUE ONE - STAR WARS
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April 8, 2015
 

It was by surprise She kissed me.
it was like cool summer breeze
I wish I could be stuck forever in that moment .

She gave me goosebumps,
I swear she is heaven sent .
I'm scared to let her know .
I love her forever more , I have been burned by love before
I'm trembling to my core ,
I wanna hold her even more.

maybe after awhile you can explore my soul ,
I'm starting to wish it's you with whom I want grow old .
Just crash into each other and fold

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ORIGINAL
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March 29, 2015
 

I swear it felt like years have passed.
I left lettrs with couple of plans.
To be honest they worked well,
Had a holiday in God,  met a girl it was a swell.
But I was itched install lettrs once again.
Maybe I'll keep of the sad stuff and keep it fresh like that new car smell

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STANLEY A. MCCHRYSTAL
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February 14, 2015
 

My goodbye .....

I realized something deep,
the very moment after sitting for hours on the beach.
I just sat there looking at the waves break and how the water seeped
I sat alone and just thought just another country that I now weep.

At first I thought to end it all,
My life never matter to anyone at all
I wondered, my life seem so small why would God answer my call ?
I saw my life flashback every moment began with a fight If correctly I recall.
I did the best I could so don't tell anything else cause I would say balls .
I didn't ask for much just someone to love. Hold on to me even if I fall,
Was that to much to provide God.
Why was I punished, always felt so  odd.

But after speaking to ...

ORIGINAL
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February 13, 2015
 

I ,

What have I done to expect the end
works of the devil. sulfur is all I smell
You were in my soul that's where you dwell
tears of blood I shed, my cloths are red .
Have I lost all your respect,
brag to your fucking friends how I'm cold n dead.

Moment I remember our kiss,
I break in and wish . All that I hope is this ,
maybe I'm in a coma this is all shiz.
All I can hope for is end this devilish bliss
But after been instigated and underrated I still give your smile a miss.
I know it's a battle , getting off the bed
but you left me for dead .
I'm ruined like a flower caught in acid rain.
Can you feel my pain, can anybody hear my thoughts I'm going crazy.
I'm going insane this isn't wh...

STANLEY A. MCCHRYSTAL
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