Putrid sound of a vile tongue,
Slithering snakes move through everyone.
Heavens gates are bound no more.
The willows weeps at the broken door.
The tears stream down as the clock ticks by.
The dust in the air,leaves a deathly sigh.
A broken heart,into shattered glass.
Catastrophic bits to fill with ash.
We run through the fields hand in hand.
Time is unknown to us.
We pass through night and day in a blink of an eye.
I have traced every line of your body with my fingers tip.
The sweet taste of your lips linger,on my lips.
I dance freely in a garden of tulips.
You run to embrace me,and i hold you close. My hand upon your cheek, our brows touching and all is right in the world.
A howling wind wisps my auburn hair and when i open my eyes i see you disappear into a fleeting mist on the chilling wind.
Empty is my hand.
The cold biting at my skin.
And i feel it seep into me turning my warm loving heart,to one of ice.
A heart of ice feels no pain.
And i shall spend the rest of my days with...
I am drowning in these murky waters depths,
My lungs burn from the strain of holding my breath.
I need fresh air, but am afraid to cusp the surface's edge.
The hallowed demons of my past,pull at my ankles.
Begging for me to give in.
My arms tred around me,my hands grasping and touching nothing.
The fear growing in my bellies depths.
Blood flows from my nose and drifts around me.
A silent scream escapes my lips.
Traveling up to the surface edge in a bubbles entrapment,only to be lost into the wind.
Its now or never.
Instead of fight or flight, its fight or die.
Should i fight to hope for another possible wound and possible happiness? Or give into my demons and live a saddened existence w...
In the end our dreams are just like paper, thrown into a burning fire.
They start off whole,then are quickly set ablaze in a fury of passion, and then turned into ash and ember.
In the end it is futile to dream.
for the reality of life, will blow them all away, in the wind.
Etta James plays in the background,
Her somber, beautiful voice fills the saddened air.
My dear sweet boy clings to me,arms tight around my waist.
His tears fall down his cheeks and disappear into my shirt.
I rock with him,holding him tight,stroking his hair,singing along to the song.
I hear him ask why momma why? Why is dad like this? And all i can respond is i don't know baby and hold him tighter. Holding my own tears back. I can't let him see my sadness in this moment. In this moment he needs me to be strong. So strong i am. And soon enough he lets go and runs off to play. I will never understand his father. He is such a sweet beautiful boy. Who loves and adores him but he is blind to it...
Sweet decadent darkness,
Creeping in through the wavering crevices.
The sun filled happiness kissing my lips,
Its fingers playing through my hair.
The interwoven tango with which the two play.
Fighting for who takes the lead!
Spinning on an ever turning turn table.
Back and forth.
Up and down.
Round and round.
Who shall take the lead?
Last night you visited me. I take so many meds to keep you away. This time you broke into my house like you did so many times before after i left you. But this time you had a gun and you where hunting for us. The wife you may have once loved and the child you helped create. Do you remember when in real life you thought i was asleep and pulled a gun to my head and pulled the trigger? Where you sad when a round didn't go off into my skull? In the dream i heard you coming and i got my gun ready for the fight. So many fights I've had with you but you deny them all. You call me crazy and say i make them up for attention. You sick, pathetic, liar. In the dream it got quiet and i searched the house...
My barren feet trod down the quiet hallway.
A key in my hand, i am unsure which door it will open.
Somewhere in the distance a haunting echo of a clocks chim can be heard.
The quiet stillness riverbates my pounding heart.
I try one doorknob after another until one begrudgingly turns.
I turn into a room of mirrors.
I see myself in a thousand reflections.
My dark hair, my pale skin,the green of my eyes,the billowing white, thin gown that covers my frame.
The door closes behind me and panic sets in.
How do i escape?
I look around but all i see is me and i begin to run.
Quickly i fall into obstacles. Mirrored walls of my reflection.
Have they come alive? Are they laughing at me,and my frai...
Inside my mind its like a beehive.
They dance their minacious dance.
And at times they are calm, their soft buzzing filling my head, lulling me to a soft slumber.
Other times, they attack me!
They scream at me!
They sting and hurt me!
They die and are reborn by their queen.
A continual circle of torment, around and around in my head!
I can feel the panic and dread build.
Like a broken record, stuck on an eternal loop of repeat.
Twirling in a continual circle. Like a merry go round being pushed at a park.
I am stuck on that merry go round, hanging on, wanting desperately to get off, but every time i try to move, it speeds up pushing my body back down.
My mother has always told me everything happens for a reason. That you may not know why at that moment but in the end it all works itself out. I originally went to college for music and had big dreams of singing opera, on the worlds oldest and most beautiful theatres known to man, but in the end that is not what life had in store. I dream of it often, but due to life's twists and turns became a nurse instead due to reasons I wont speak of here. Yesterday everything beautifully fell into place. I had a person with some major intellectual disabilities cross my path at work. They where lost,afraid and for the most part none verbal other than a handful of words, so they communicated the only way ...
I lay upon this worn blanket. Its woven, thread, baren in spots from wear and time.
Out here there is nothing.
Out here you can see for miles in all directions.
Out here no ambient light from a city shines,just the light from the moon and stars to guide your way.
Out here just the soft howl of the coyotes and the gentle chirp of the crickets sing to you their song.
Out here i look upon the stars in all their beauty and i don't feel alone.
They shine together like a mosaic of glittering diamonds. How many hopes and dreams have been cast upon them?
A tear slides down my cheek and disappears into my hair.
I am so alone in this big wide world, but here, out here in this moment under these ...
A bird of the most beautiful plumage,
Came and sat upon my finger one day.
She sang a song to me,
Telling me a tale of my beauty and worth.
Her voice so sweet and clear.
My heart began to swell but not with pride but with sorrow, and my brow began to furrow and a tear began to fall.
The beautiful lark stopped her song and took her wing a wiped away my tear, lifting my fallen chin.
" Why do you cry sweet girl." She exclaimed.
So i told her my tale of sorrow and woe. Of how cruel the world and man had been to me.
She paused for a moment and proclaimed to me that though words and actions hurt, break and scar us. That we must always lift our sword to battle those who aim to see us dest...
The sadness creeps upon me,
Like a soft spring rain falls upon my face.
My tears hidden within its depths.
My heart so shattered, so broken.
I am but a baby bird who has fallen from her nest needing a loving hand to hold her and love her.
Will I always be alone? Will I always feel so broken?
I rise my head to the rain. Maybe itll wash my pain away.
Tip toe through the cold, wet snow.
Crushed between your worn out toes.
Oh where to go,
Oh where to go!
The evergreens needles glisten,
The wind blows past you listen.
Where will you go?
Where will you go?
The wolves around you howling,
The creatures that surround you bowing.
What to do now?
What to do now?
Will you take the summoning?
Or will you run from the becoming?
The heavens will speak,
The gate will keep.
The choice is yours,
There he stands.
Does he realize i am here?
Does he see what he has done?
My exterior walls are strong and well built but no one knows how weak they really are.
It is but straw that fills the inside.
Awaiting a strong gust of wind to blow me apart.
He doesn't see me anymore, all the work, all the love and now i am barely standing.
To many secrets,
To many lies,
Deception and sadness crawls through my skin.
You where my future, you where my hope.
And now i can barely stay afloat.
In a castle tucked away,
Into the hidden depths of the woods,
There is a girl.
Her long, auburn hair pools around her.
Her gown of white as pure as her heart and soul.
Her lips as fresh and plump as if a bee had stung them.
She sits by the window,
Watching as the freezing rain pours down from the clouds above.
The world around her becoming a beautiful icy wonderland.
Twinkling in the chilly dawns air.
Her whole life she has been told she is special.
The chosen one.
But what for?
What has it ever gotten her?
But locked in a castles tower, friend and lover to none.
Is it better to be special? Or better to be ordinary?
She wonders as she sits alone.
The fire in her r...
It eats away at me.
A rotten seed in the pit of my stomach,
It grows into a wicked tree that fester's rotten fruit that i can't help but eat.
A glutton i am to that spoiled bounty.
Colossal i become.
But eat do i continue, until i burst.
Then out pour my demons.
They whisper all kinds of wicked thoughts into my head.
Truth to some of what they say,others they sing to me on a fallacies whim.
Im trapped in a never ending race.
A circle of infinite bounds.
Even in sleep my dreams haunt me only for me to awake with tears upon my cheeks.
I am tired of the feast,
I am tired of the race,
I am tired of the dreams.
All i wish for is peace.
Sweet beautiful peace.
Sitting silently in this incessant life,
I sit afloat a drift less wood.
A simple ripple can cause it to drift in many
For every direction that could be drifted is a different path at life and once traveled can not be undone.
I am but a sail boat,
Her sails deflated and cast about.
I am but left drifting amongst the melancholy waves.
Tired and alone.
Waiting for the gust of wind that will fill my sails.,
and take me away from this place.
Fill my heart with love and adventure.
Take away my fear and dejection.
Come to me Oh wind!
Come to me!
Take me away from here!
Into the woods I run.
The old quilts tied around my neck,
flapping in the wind.
My bare feet pad against the sodden ground.
A bears path I cross.
A deer's gaze I catch.
Time slows and imagination races.
Im a pirate bound for the Indigo seas!
An Indian princess held captive plotting her escape!
A brave warrior heading into battle her trusty stead and sword in
Time passes the stars blink open their sleepy eyes.
Fire flies dance upon the night and magic lingers in the air.
I take the quilt tied so stead fastly upon my neck and lay upon it.
Watching the stars fly by, wishing upon their trails my hopes and
Then sleep tugs wistfully upon m...
Be my prince and take thine hand,
guide me through this Neverland.
You by my side.
We will fight off all of my fears.
My demons shall be slain,
their blood upon our blade,
our love our shield.
A light you have shown me,
as you have stuck by my side.
Never have a love I have known,
never in all this time.
Never enough thanks can I bestow upon you.
For nothing will truly be able to express what you mean to me.
Both of us have demons tis true,
and fears and doubts from different chapters in our book of life.
But let us take each others hands,
and entwine them together.
Let us watch each others backs,
I am scared. Nervous. Afraid of failing. But i signed up for counseling again. I have done it in the past and it never helped. But i cant live like this anymore. The constant fear and dread. The demons always in my head. I was once a whole puzzle and now and i am just trying to put the pieces back together again to be a full picture, but right now i am putting the puzzle back without the box to guide me to k ow how it is suppose to go. I know i will never be who i was but i want to grow. I am so worn down and tired of the life i am living right now. I just want to not live in constant anxiety and sadness anymore. Its funny i read something not to long ago that was about a teacher who took a w...
The depression and anxiety is consuming me. I feel as if i am fighting a loosing battle. I am so,so tired of trying this hard every day. So tired of getting sick from my anxiety,my mind racing at a hundred miles and hour. Of feeling sad when i know there is no reason. Why am i this way? I want it to stop.to go away. I am so tired.
Its suffocating. The constant feeling of anxiety and dread.
The knowledge that has been acquired over the years taunts your thoughts.
Even in the happiest times those nasty feelings creep at you waiting to attack, like a lioness to her pray.
I dont know if i believe in happiness. Id like to think its real, that someday ill have a happily ever after,that i wont feel the constant pain of being alone or that i have never been good enough.
But i dont know.
Maybe i am suppose to live my life like i am at art gallery. Looking at all the beauty around me but never able to touch or paint one of my own.
Sad thought. But maybe some of us are never meant to be happy.
In the early morning dew,
When all is afresh and new.
I wait for you.
Bring fresh this new day!
And behold the suns sweet caress.
The sky's blank canvas being painted before you
The beautiful possibility that today holds!
Go out and prosper.
Go out out and toil and drain.
Go out and live.
But remember when the day is done and your body is weary,
I await for you.
I am but a seed,
Quiet and dormant.
Patiently I await to be born.
You can not rush me or i shall wither and die.
You can not expect more than what i can be.
I am destined for beautiful greatness.
But with all that has grown to be great,
They all began as a simple seed.
So love me, care for me, and allow me to grow,
Because eventually beauty will come from me and greatness will blossom.
The monsters in my head, crawl through me , whispering sick tales of dread.
For years i have listened,for years I've
Demons posses me, their thoughts consume me.
All i want is to be whole again. But an evil serpent has corrupted me, to many years of their abuse have i endured.
A blow may hurt but an evil word lingers in your mind like a roaring disease, spreading and festering until its what you believe.
A slithering snake with a twisted tongue,
Spreading lies to everyone.
Who will believe in what they know?
Or who will believe in what you've sewn.
Down and down the rabbit hole,
Twisted fate on all our souls.
Believe in which? Believe in not.
A twisted fate is all we've got.
I have loved with all that my heart could give, and it left me broken, hollow and a ghost of whom i once was. I am but a shell of the girl i was thanks to him.
How one man can have such power,
can change your life in so many ways is beyond me.
I believe in love yes, but when i get close to it i push it away like it is a hot poker about to brand me. Brand me o love for not. I have been down that treacherous path once and came out a skeleton cast in stone. Buried in a shallow grave layes my broken heart.
Buried forever more.