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November 9, 2019
 




I am but a sail boat,
Her sails deflated  and cast about.

I am but left drifting amongst the melancholy waves.

Lost

         Afraid

                        Tired  and alone.

Waiting for the gust of wind that will fill my sails.,
     and take me away from this place.

Fill my heart with love and adventure.
Take away my fear and dejection.

Come to me Oh wind!
Come to me!
Take me away from here!

ORIGINAL
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October 23, 2019
 



Into the woods I run.
The old quilts tied around my neck,
     flapping in the wind.
My bare feet pad against the sodden ground.
A bears path I cross.
A deer's gaze I catch.
Time slows and imagination races.
Im a pirate bound for the Indigo seas!
An Indian princess held captive plotting her escape!
A brave warrior heading into battle her trusty stead and sword in
     hand!
Time passes the stars blink open their sleepy eyes.
Fire flies dance upon the night and magic lingers in the air.
I take the quilt tied so stead fastly upon my neck and lay upon it.
Watching the stars fly by, wishing upon their trails my hopes and
     dreams.
Then sleep tugs wistfully upon m...

OLIVER TWIST
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October 23, 2019
 


Be my prince and take thine hand,
     guide me through this Neverland.

You by my side.
We will fight off all of my fears.

My demons shall be slain,
     their blood upon our blade,
          our love our shield.

A light you have shown me,
     as you have stuck by my side.

Never have a love I have known,
      never in all this time.

Never enough thanks can I bestow upon you.
For nothing will truly be able to express what you mean to me.

Both of us have demons tis true,
     and fears and doubts from different chapters in our book of life.

But let us take each others hands,
     and entwine them together.

Let us watch each others backs,
     and ...

SUNSET LOVE
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September 29, 2019
Moore, United States

I am scared. Nervous. Afraid of failing. But i signed up for counseling again. I have done it in the past and it never helped. But i cant live like this anymore. The constant fear and dread. The demons always in my head. I was once a whole puzzle and now and i am just trying to put the pieces back together again to be a full picture, but right now i am putting the puzzle back without the box to guide me to k ow how it is suppose to go. I know i will never be who i was but i want to grow. I am so worn down and tired of the life i am living right now. I just want to not live in constant anxiety and sadness anymore. Its funny i read something not to long ago that was about a teacher who took a w...

SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
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September 22, 2019
Enid, United States

The depression and anxiety is consuming me. I feel as if i am fighting a loosing battle. I am so,so tired of trying this hard every day. So tired of getting sick from my anxiety,my mind racing at a hundred miles and hour. Of feeling sad when i know there is no reason. Why am i this way? I want it to stop.to go away. I am so tired.

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SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
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July 31, 2019
Moore, United States

Its suffocating. The constant feeling of anxiety and dread.
The knowledge that has been acquired over the years taunts your thoughts.
Even in the happiest times those nasty feelings creep at you waiting to attack, like a lioness to her pray.
I dont know if i believe in happiness. Id like to think its real, that someday ill have a happily ever after,that i wont feel the constant pain of being alone or that i have never been good enough.
But i dont know.
Maybe i am suppose to live my life like i am at  art gallery. Looking at all the beauty around me but never able to touch or paint one of my own.
Sad thought. But maybe some of us are never meant to be happy.

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DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
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June 7, 2019
Enid, United States

In the early morning dew,
When all is afresh and new.

I wait for you.

Bring fresh this new day!
And behold the suns sweet caress.

The sky's blank canvas being painted before you

The beautiful possibility that today holds!

Go out and prosper.
Go out out and toil and drain.
Go out and live.

But remember when the day is done and your body is weary,

I await for you.

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MADE WITH LOVE
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June 6, 2019
Enid, United States

I am but a seed,
Quiet and dormant.

Patiently I await to be born.

You can not rush me or i shall wither and die.

You can not expect more than what i can be.

I am destined for beautiful greatness.

But with all that has grown to be great,
They all began as a simple seed.

So love me, care for me, and allow me to grow,
Because eventually beauty will come from me and greatness will blossom.

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MADE WITH LOVE
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April 3, 2019
Enid, United States

The monsters in my head, crawl through me , whispering sick tales of dread.

For years i have listened,for years I've
been plagued.  

Demons posses me, their thoughts consume me.

All i want is to be whole again. But an evil serpent has corrupted me, to many years of their abuse have i endured.  
Broken,
      Shattered,
             Destroyed

A blow may hurt but an evil word lingers in your mind like a roaring disease, spreading and festering until its what you believe.

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POETRY MONTH
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February 21, 2019
Oklahoma City, United States

A slithering snake with a twisted tongue,
Spreading lies to everyone.

Who will believe in what they know?
Or who will believe in what you've sewn.

Down and down the rabbit hole,
Twisted fate on all our souls.

Believe in which? Believe in not.
A twisted fate is all we've got.  

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WHITE CLOCK
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February 14, 2019
Oklahoma City, United States

I have loved with all that my heart could give, and it left me broken, hollow and a ghost of whom i once was. I am but a shell of the girl i was thanks to him.

How one man can have such power,
can change your life in so many ways is beyond me.

I believe in love yes, but when i get close to it i push it away like it is a hot poker about to brand me. Brand me o love for not. I have been down that treacherous path once and came out a skeleton cast in stone. Buried in a shallow grave layes my broken heart.

Buried forever more.

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ORIGINAL
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December 14, 2015
 

I want to be something beautiful encased in time by an artists hand.

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ORIGINAL
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December 11, 2015
 

In the darkness I have laid,
Starved,
       drained,
                wanting
Slashed down by a burning blade.
.
  .
    .
      .
I have seen you many a day and I have grown to fear your name.

a dreaded creature black and scarred,
who fills the world with vile and hate.

You and I are one in the same.

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ORIGINAL
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February 13, 2016
 

What does he want from me? I'm sorry my womb is messed up I'm sorry that something is wrong with my body and I don't ovulate like I should I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I had to take a second job and I work mon through Friday eight hours and twenty hour weekends and I'm tired. I'm sorry if all I want to do is go to bed I'm sorry that I'm not fun and peppy that I'm stressed and exhausted I'm sorry I can't give you a second child or that I'm so exhausted mentally and physically that I just don't want to do that. I'm sorry that I can't convince you that it's me and not you. And this whole time that I am exhausted I still try to show you that I love you and our son more than anything and I'm trying m...

ORIGINAL
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May 16, 2017
Enid, United States

He tells me even now that i was the perfect wife, that i never did anything wrong.

   And yet....
Here i am alone and divorced from him.
     I guess i wasn't perfect after all.
  My heart aches for him.

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THRILLING
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April 19, 2017
Enid, United States

All that i want is to go back to a time when you and i where happy. Before the hurt and pain ruined us. Before the lies destroyed us, before you broke my heart. All that i want more than anything is to go back in time with you to the beginning when it all began and start afresh. I miss you so much tonight. My heart is so broken.

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WALLFLOWER
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January 8, 2017
 

So i sit here in the early hours of the morn unable to sleep. So many nights have passed as of late that have ended with this. My mind is dancing and my heart is broken and my soul is tired. I just wish in these moments of my life sleel came easily so that i could have a few moments of peace.

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LETTRS BLACK AND WHITE
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January 7, 2017
 

Tonight is hard. I feel so empty and tired

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LETTRS BLACK AND WHITE
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January 5, 2017
 

I feel the brutal weight of reality upon my heart and shoulders and i feel as if it will crush me in the end.

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LETTRS BLACK AND WHITE
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January 2, 2017
 

Good morning!! I hope all of you have a wonderful day!

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HAPPY 2017!
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December 31, 2016
 

In less then 30 minutes 2016 will end. Honestly it couldn't have ended on a worse note-divorce-cheating spouse-broken heart and failure, but all i can think of is everything happens for a reason, even if that reason is unknown. The soon to be divorce is heart breaking because i love my husband deeply and he loves me as well, we just simply cant fix our marriage.we just cant keep hurting each other any more. i am praying that in the new year i can grow as a person and be a good person and friend to my soon to be ex husband and learn how to co-parent decently. 2016 hasn't been all bad though.I found a job that i love. i have watched my beautiful child grow and become more and more independent a...

PUT ON YOUR PARTY HAT
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December 23, 2016
 

He tells me all the time how i am such a good woman. He tells me that i deserve so much better, that he has not done me right in the 7 years that we have been together.

He asks me why have i stayed, and i tell him beacuse i love him and i know that he is not good but that i also know how good of a man he can be and that is why.

One day my dear your demons will be slaughtered and you will be free to be who i know you can be. A good man. A honest man. A free man. And until that moment of freedom i will be there weilding a shield as the demons fight to distroy you.

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ANGEL OF FAITH
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December 28, 2016
 

Today is a new day. Start with a clean slate and make today amazing.

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CARRIE FISHER
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December 25, 2016
 

This was never suppost to hurt. Every time i look at him, i am stabbed in the heart with the knowledge that he will never change. Even though he knows his actions hurt me. The part that bugs me the most is that he wont even try. I am nothing to him.

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SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW
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July 28, 2016
Enid, United States

Since the moment i met you i have loved you.
And i have loved you every day since then.
I have loved you more than there are stars in the sky and grains of sand on the earth.
I have loved you more fiercely than any of the great writers could pen.

But... in the end even the stars must die.

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BANKSY SWING
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April 19, 2016
 

In the depths of despair when your
Soul is turning and churning, unable to rest, and  you feel like giving up. There in the misery of it all you will find your strength to slay your dragons or perish in their flames.

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#INKTOBER
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February 13, 2016
 

What does he want from me? I'm sorry my womb is messed up I'm sorry that something is wrong with my body and I don't ovulate like I should I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I had to take a second job and I work mon through Friday eight hours and twenty hour weekends and I'm tired. I'm sorry if all I want to do is go to bed I'm sorry that I'm not fun and peppy that I'm stressed and exhausted I'm sorry I can't give you a second child or that I'm so exhausted mentally and physically that I just don't want to do that. I'm sorry that I can't convince you that it's me and not you. And this whole time that I am exhausted I still try to show you that I love you and our son more than anything and I'm trying m...

NOBODY IS PERFECT
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January 8, 2016
 

The ocean waters surround me
Cool
       Pungent
Alive

In and out it swells and breaths

One more step, then another until no longer do I breath.

King Poseidon beside me, welcomes me with open arms.

"Come my child and be free! Be free forever in the sea."

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SCALE FORWARD
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