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Juliet

PO# 64013
United States
United States
Pain changes people then you realize how much your pain ruined innocent lives. Life mission to make all the pain be for a reason.
July 31, 2018
Victorville, United States

"She holds his hand and smiled. No words, just a big happy smile. He smiles back and they walk on, without a word. As the sun is going down"...... Noah thought of all the wonderful animals he saw today at the circus with his mom.   He thought of the beautiful lady who sat on top of the enormous elephant and the lion who jumped through the rings of fire. He thought of the blue cotton candy that was bigger than his head. Noah looked at his hand clutching the big yellow balloon then looking at his moms hand thought this was his most favorite day.....The woman looked at her son....smiled then looked at his little hand and said to herself....one day his hand will be bigger than mine...until then I...

STRONGER TOGETHER
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June 8, 2017
 

To my ex-future......
I think of you constantly, it is slowly consuming me......this pain that is turning me numb. Again I am not upset with for doing what I told you to do. I want you happy, I just wish it was with me not with her. I don't understand how you have no problem just walking away, with no hesitation. I know you don't think of me nor miss me. I miss you in every which way but mostly I miss my friend.  The one person who knows everything about me, the only person I think of when I get upset, the only person who I feel better with by just looking at. I know what I did wrong, how I didn't appreciate you and love you the way you wanted, the way you deserve. It was hard for me to show ...

KISS A PRINCE
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May 22, 2017
 

Its been 48 days since I saw your blue eyes. Its been 34 days 11 hours 32 minutes since you told me "Your happy right now, there is no second chances" I try my hardest to move on, to not think of you or us....but I'm not doing a very good job. I told you I was too old for you, I told you that you hurt me so much that I just didn't think I could ever forgive you like I needed too, I told you I never felt your love was real, I told you it was hard to accept your love because I don't love myself. I didn't know pushing you away meant losing the only person who I gave my soul too.  At 42 I made love for the first time, not saying I haven't had my share of fucks, but until you I never felt it meant...

NEVER GIVE UP
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June 13, 2016
Victorville, United States

It was the summer me just finishing elementary school and I was going to start 7th grade ahhh middle school...and I was 12, but the movie Purple Rain was PG13. It was the first & last movie I ever sneaked into. I ended up watching this movie in the theatres almost 20 times. No joke. I was so entralled, so amazed at this PG13 movie. The music, language and especially the life style was so opposite of my pitiful life that right before it was no longer going to be in the theatres I rushed out of the movie and walked straight into a record store in the mall and bought the record....the soundtrack. Writing this little memory reminded me of when I first started becoming me and not be or do whatever...

PRINCE
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May 15, 2016
 

A friend of mine gave me a letter to read. As she gave it to me she said she felt I could and would appreciate it. It was written by Michael Josephson. He is founder of Josephson Institute of Ethics also he is a former law professor. When I asked her why she felt that way she said because she thought of me when she read it. Below is that letter.....

Let's be honest...Ethics isn't for wimps. It's not easy being a good person. It's not easy being honest when it might be costly or to play  fair when others cheat or to keep inconvenient promises. It's not easy to stand up for our beliefs and still respect differing viewpoints. It's not easy to control powerful impulses, to be accountable for our...

CARESS ME
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September 22, 2015
 

Dedicated to my precious Princess #5.............
Here Without You
Album: The Better Life [Live from Houston] / Original Release Date: 2000-02-08
Genre: Rock / Label: 2010 Universal Records, a Division of UMG Recordings, Inc
Song Duration: 5 min 06 sec

3 DOORS DOWN
Here Without You

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face

A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same

But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you, baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you, baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you, baby

But you're still with m...

EVERY MOTHER COUNTS
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September 22, 2015
 

Dearest Princess #5

My heart is heavy with the pain of missing you. My heads has constant racing thoughts of what are you doing? what are you thinking? what has been told to you? Are you happy? Did you smile today? Please know no matter how much time goes by my love for you will never die. My thoughts of you will never die. People that have be given the power to have "the best interest of my child" have stolen you, given you to people that also lied to everyone including me when they promised me they would not keep you away from me. It has been 178 days since I saw you before that it was over a year. They can physically take you, give you another family, change your name, but they can NEVER ...

GLASS HALF FULL
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July 28, 2015
 

I know this letter is late, but to have the ability to have a second chance of a passed one to be alive and apart of my world leaves me breathless.  Just the thought makes my chest have a pain that I have lived with all my life, except with a moment of reprievement when my children were born. My loyalty of what I knew and loved of family screams bring your nana back I love her so much, she gave me most if not all of my favorite childhood memories. But then I also think of my aunt whom survived and was in remission of breast cancer for over 15 years to only end up dying of brain cancer 6 months after my nana died. They both represented so much strength to me. Then their is the child within tha...

ANGST
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February 5, 2015
Garden Grove, United States

To my precious princess #5
I know it has been a long time since I wrote you..I'm sorry, but I truly was hoping the next time I wrote, it would be with excitement of just seeing you. My heart longs for you, just now as I wrote that my heart aches with such pain. Their truly is no words that have been invented yet to describe this type of torturous pain. It has been 320 days since I seen you...well sort've...I have always shown your new family respect. Knowing where you live is so hard, especially it only being 15 mins from where I used to live. Your new parents used to respond to me when I would text them and ask them please send me a picture of you at that very moment and they would. Or I wou...

KISS
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December 7, 2014
 

Each day goes by and each day I do more self evaluation. Truly the older I get the faster life goes.....its so scary. My childhood is like a movie I watched from the sidelines. I say to myself out loud, why did I have to go through what no child should go through?. Then I hear this calm quiet inner voice respond and say "to prepare you". Even through my disappointments and pain I truly still believe that my charming prince will arrive galloping on his white horse to sweep me away to his castle. Every woman in my family (it's primarily all women with exception of 1 uncle 1 boy cousin and 4 nephews) die sick, bitter and especially ALONE! I so thought I would break the cycle, I thought my life w...

THE HEDWIG STAMP
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December 7, 2014
 

"Let It Go"
By: Blue October

Where do you go
When the day is long?
And where does your heart beat
And who is wrong?
Why do I feel this way?
Why do I kneel?
How could I let it go?
Why do I feel?
Why do I feel?
Why?
Follow me home
Through the, the maze and on
I'll show you the road
That I led you the wrong way on
Why did I go that way?
Why do I steal?
How could I let her go?
Why do I feel?
Oh why did I go that way?
Why do I steal?
How could I let her go?
Why do I feel?
Why do I feel?
Why?
Why?
Why did I go that way?
Why do I need?
How could I let her go?
Why do I feel?
Oh why did I go that way?
How could I steal?
Oh how could I?
How could I?
How could I?

How could I?
How could I?
**How could...

ORIGINAL
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December 5, 2014
Garden Grove, United States

I write today with inspiration by others, by a comment from lettrs left to inspire another to continue to write from their heart with no boundaries.  I am amazed and so very thankful for the pure brilliance of this app. I did not do a letter showing my thankfulness because my pain and bitterness got the best of me. Plus I do not know how to tag letters to be honest so I could participate in any letters that the lettrs staff ask of us to write if we are inspired too.  I am so very thankful for this amazing ingenious app. it has truly helped me with my pain and feeling of loss and alone in this world. I have been able to connect to others from around the world. Others whom suffer as I do, whom ...

ORIGINAL
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November 29, 2014
Garden Grove, United States

My dearest Princess #5,
I can't even count how many times I have thought of you already today. Your girl cousin is staying the weekend with me. She misses you so much. She asked me when will she see you again. I told her not for a long time, then I started crying and told her I'm so sorry for hurting her by you being gone. She just hugged me and said its okay. She is only 10yrs. old. I have always said and thought there is a lot of pain and hurt in a person who says
"It's/I'm okay". Your new parents didn't let me see you on Thanksgiving like they did last year. Its been 250 days since I saw you. They did let me speak with you, it was only if I was at Princess #3 house and if I used her phone...

ORIGINAL
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July 29, 2014
Anaheim, United States

My sweet princess #5
I miss you so much. I have
4620 days 14 hours 50 minutes before you turn 18. I worry and wonder what have they told you or what do they say to you if you ask about me or your family. I'm worried about what your thinking with all of this. I know you don't understand which hurts me even more that I can't explain it to you. I want you to know that I think of you every second of every minute of every hour. I miss everything about you and scared of the changes that I will miss. I have been trying since my birthday to see you again. The last time was your birthday which was 4months ago. To just hear your voice would be nice.  She finally responded just the other day. She sent ...

ORIGINAL
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November 7, 2014
Garden Grove, United States

How do I feel about my freedom? I will do my best explaining that.
I feel my freedom has been taken away, but then I guess I really never felt I had it in the first place.  When you have your child taken away from you by judgemental, deceitful, lying, corrupted people who your whole life you were told to respect, you lose more than just your freedom you lose yourself as you knew it. It was beyond horrific when my bubble was popped and I learned the truth.  Truly I have never felt per say "free" I have been trapped by life since I can remember. For some reason I always felt I was going to save my dysfunctional family.  I was going to be different. Instead that lead me to not having proper bou...

ORIGINAL
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November 4, 2014
 

My precious Princess #5
It has taken a few days to recover from my latest depression. On Halloween at 9:53am your adoptive father called my phone. I was too scared to answer, to scared with what was on the other end. I didn't want to sound like I just woke up, I didn't want to sound like I was in a panic, I didn't want to act like I was happy or everything was OK when it wasn't. Halloween is the start of all these feelings for me. I chickened out princess then cried the rest of the day. Wondering & wishing about you, angry that I didn't answer what if it was you...what if it was you and again I wasn't there when you needed me.  Later around 7:34pm I asked him via text to please send me a pict...

ORIGINAL
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October 30, 2014
Midway City, United States

My precious princess #5,
Today i slept all day, woke up around 5:30pm. Another whole day wasted. I feel better at night time. I feel calmer, freed to feel what I feel inside. Knowing I can feel my sadness without hearing "everything happens for a reason or you need to remember you have other children you can still see" .  No one understands I feel in my life who can identify the pain I feel, the feeling that I can't even put into words. the closest I get to  is calling it pain.  I've been up for 3 hours now dealt with some issues, but ignoring most of them. All I think is about you. At least when I sleep I get to hold you, tell you I love you, push you on the swing & laugh with you when you s...

ORIGINAL
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October 29, 2014
 

                       
JAMES ARTHUR
Faded Lyrics

I'm faded, I'm faded
I'm not sure if I can make it, oh
But don't you cry for me
Honey I'm not worth it
Honey I'm not worth it
Honey I'm not worth it
But don't you cry for me, me, me

I'm skipping through the days to come home
A million conversations, autopilot, steer, flow
I'm on my one-man mission, eyes down, take note
I've never liked you, stay away from me don't lock the bolt
This is the great escape from everything I've ever hated
From all this figuring this lifes shit that got me jaded
Faded all the time the doubting got me underrated
This is my mechanism, moving forward, isolated
Belated superficial gestures of a phony type
I come alive...

ORIGINAL
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October 29, 2014
 

I feel tortured within the depths of my soul, but yet numb at the same time. Every second of every minute of every hour I am reminded of my selfishness, my loneliness, my anger, my bitterness, my narcissistic ways, my emptiness, my habits, my expectations, my entitlement issues, my disappointments.  I'm not thankful for much anymore, but I am thankful that I have reached the age where I realize I don't have to lie to anyone anymore. And the one person I would like to lie to the most I can't no matter how hard I tried.......who is that you ask?? MYSELF. I have taught my girls that hate is a very strong word on so many different levels, but now I have come to a place where I truly hate myself. ...

ORIGINAL
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October 17, 2014
 

To Princess #5,
My heart is heavy in my chest, it's slowly throbbing each thump I experience a pain that I cannot even begin to describe.  I again slept to much from whenever I finally feel asleep, which I haven't had too many nights of lately.  I can say that I have started having days where I don't wake up instantly thinking and wishing to change the past, the time I made the most biggest mistake in my life. How at that one moment I ruined 5 other lives besides my own, but really 15 in total. The moment that I should of thought about what could happen, but instead I didn't think at all about anyone but myself.  The reality of that moment, about how the choice I did make was chosen over seek...

ORIGINAL
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October 6, 2014
Anaheim, United States

I read the letter from the head lettrist like 3 times pondering on what keeps me at odds with myself, our fragile bodies & mental health.  What keeps me at odds is my selfishness, it disgust me.  My whole life up to 32 years I always did what I thought was best for my family. Anyone had a problem or needed something they came to me to fix it. My mother lived with my & I had at the time 2 sisters (1 older by 5yrs & 1 younger by 8yrs) Neither liked me or even talked to me at the time unless they needed something (sad thing is still that way to this day)  stayed on the right side of the street waiting my turn, followed directions & respected authority. My older sister walked away from her kids &...

ORIGINAL
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September 28, 2014
 

My Dearest Princess #5
My heart has been heavy for so long now its been 188 days since I saw your beautiful face, since I've heard your voice your laughter, since I touched your skin. I think of you every second of every minute of every hour. My heart longs for you. Everything in my day I think of you. I wonder what are they telling you, what do you think......I beg the powers above to not let you think I didn't want you. My house caught on fire 8/20/14 I never thought there could be something as devastating as losing you, but losing most of your belongings & your sisters belongings our memories has been very close. Its like the powers that may be just don't want me to have anything in life ...

ORIGINAL
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September 10, 2014
Anaheim, United States

I do not understand why people so called "friends" say they are going to be there for you then not only show up, but don't even answer their phones. Why is it so easy for people so called "friends" not even bother giving a courtesy call.  They will even know you have no other person to call. This is one of my many reasons of becoming bitter. I have to accept that I'm not to have friends, loved ones not even acquaintances seem to stick around. I'm so over this life!
Juliet

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ORIGINAL
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September 1, 2014
Garden Grove, United States

I have so much too much to say, but I will do my best to keep my venting to a minimum. To the powers above I plead to you please hear my cry...hear this from my heart...I CANNOT TAKE ANYMORE TRAGEDY! I'm tired of lifting my head off my pillow, I'm tired of feeling so lost so depressed. I have lost to much now please no more. I don't know what I have done, for me to deserve so much taken from me.  Just when I think what could be worse than....BOOM another tragedy happens. I understand the poor decisions I've made I live with what I've done every second of every minute of every hour of my life. I lost my little girl due to my selfishness, I quit my job because I couldn't handle the reality of l...

ORIGINAL
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August 16, 2014
Lake Forest, United States

To My Persian Prince
My love my most passionate confidant..
It hurts me so much to see you in such pain.  I try so hard to explain to you how I feel but it's so obvious you not only hear me, instead you only hear the voices in your head that have tormented you your life. Please listen my prince I do love you, I do care for you,  I do want you in my life, I do want us to grow old together.  But all you hear are the voices that tell you your not loved, your alone, no one understands you, that you will never be enough.  I know I hear the same voices, but over the months you have lived with me your actions not words have shown me different.  I'm sorry my love I have not done the same for you.  I ...

ORIGINAL
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August 11, 2014
Fullerton, United States

My Precious Princess #5
   
Today you  will meet new friends, play on swings, sing a song, laugh really loud, think of the alphabet, see numbers & shapes on the wall.  What makes today so special you say..well you start Kindergarten.  I can't believe it.  I remember all of your sisters first day of school except for Princess #1.  I didn't get her until she was 8yrs old, Princess #2 at 4yrs had Princess #3 and got Princess #4 when she was 2yrs but I won't get to see yours today.
Your sister Princess #3 alarm just went off.  I can tell she just hit snooze... She gets to experience this special day with you. She will get to see what your wearing, if your hair is up or down, your excitement in yo...

ORIGINAL
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