YES, I am scared.. I am scared of losing you.. I have had enough of trusting others and getting shattered pieces of my own heart in return.
I can't trap myself in this circle anymore. I want to set my soul on fire and free it. I believe in KARMA more than luck. I can give you the stars but I don't want a fallen star in return.
Why can't we walk even? Equal step for both.. Why one has to do more than the other? My inner self cries when I see the light of love fading..
My heart has prisoned many secrets..
My soul wants to set them free,
But where these birds would fly…
The world would never accept prisoners,
This harsh world where god is in stone and Satan is in human…
My secrets demand no freedom; they want to be chambered in the prison…
It is better to complete their life sentence and die,
Rather than roam in this closed big prison called world…
Spring in Autumn
I don't demand anything from you,
nor do i expect now.
I have had enough of battle
with myself. Now I need peace.
Still I feel thy touch on me
but now I shall move alone,
because I can't find thee...
Pieces of my own shattered heart
bruising my chest and flesh.
Color of my blood is seem to be
roses of funeral.
Being like Phoenix, rising up from
ashes. I know it's hard
but who told life is easy...
Walking with thee was like
as on roses, but when it turned
into thorns I didn't realise.
You ain't no my affliction
but I am to blame, as I
repeated the sin of trusting again...
Falling and drowning in the deep , deep and dark ocean, where you can't see or hear anything. You try to gasp and you inhale nothing but water.
I have never drowned but I get this feeling when someone close fulfil our expectations. We are always taught never expect but reality is whenever we some efforts for someone we expect a bit of courtesy from them.
Yes! this is "KALYUG" and you can't do anything if anyone betrays you. You hate it and wants to be selfish. On the contrary you are HUMAN so be human, don't be like others who have lost their soul in the darkness of greed and desires.
Today I was told that I am very fond of "Self Appraisal" and it is like poison.
There is a very thin line between self love and self obsession. It is very rare when you get such a quality advice from your elders.
According to me you should treasure those advises because you can never match their experience.
Love yourself first because if you can't love you then you can NEVER expect others to love you.
Fate is a funny thing. When you run towards something or someone but still it is getting away from you, it drives you crazy.
You feel drowned where no one is there to help you. None can calm you down. You and your want are just like the same poles of a magnet. Force is from both the sides but still can't come together.
Funny is life and destiny. Make your own destiny and laugh on it in your own way.
Iss dil me kitne hi raaz kaid h..
Dil to chahta h ye udd jae, pr ye nadaan prinde jae khaa..
Ye zalim duniane kha kisi kaidi ko apnaya h, ye dunia jhaa pathar me rabb or insaan me shaitan milta h..
Raaz kehte h hm kaidi hi sahi h, is dunia me jine se acha sza kaat k mr jaana h...
A short poem in Hindi by me..
The sand is warm enough, so is my mind,,
moved on but still the heart feels something's left behind.
The waves try to wash away the grains,
but no! all they do is just taking away the pains.
All that I want to do is to walk along this shore,
where I don't want my soul to shout amore amore!!
P.S. A try to write poem in english..
There are many things on which we humans have no control.. When I think of desires I get a very absurd feel. Dalai Lama says one should not possess desires but on the contrary if we won't desire how will we improve..
Life is full of these types of wars within the mind. If one asks me I guess we can have desires but we should never go crazy for them. We have come here empty handed and will leave empty handed. There is no doubt that we are the mortals. We can never take wealth, love or anything with us to the heavens.
I know I too have some desires and I am an atheist so it is easy to talk like this but it is true. Just this if you don't get what you desire accept the situation be...
I usually get annoyed when I'm getting too much of success and happiness. It give me chills that may be something really very bad is going to happen.
I just feel scared why God and Life are so good to me. It scares me that everything will be gone really soon. I'm kind of girl who is happy in less, who doesn't demand much. I wish that others should also have some luck that I have. I may be satisfied in less but others may not.
I know all this seems really weird that a person is doubting her own luck but it brings me in a dilemma in which I don't understand if it mere luck or my hardwork...
I'm a student doing my MBA. So, when my friends get to know that I write and sometimes I do POETRY also they ask me to write something then and there only.
Today the same thing happened, a friend of mine asked me to write something for him and the other day a friend asked me to write something on behalf of her to her best friend.
That was the moment I realised that writing in me comes naturally. It is not just a hobby to me but my thoughts, reflection of my personality and my feelings.
I can't just go and write something for which I'm in no mood or something with which I can't connect.
Writing is a WINE GLASS OF MY FEELINGS WHICH CAN ONLY BE TASTED IF TASTED WITH PATIENCE AND IF POURED SL...
Whenever we start something new the main problem we face is that we are so busy in doing that understanding the details that we forget our near ones.
YES! it is true. We can't accept it but it's true. We get into the new job we ignore what someone is even saying. I won't say it is wrong but the question is what others should do. When a person starts doing something totally different and alien he is scared, confused and needy. He won't say this out loud but if you love him you have to understand.
They are all yours, they love you but they just need time and your understanding. They are may be really scared they just need a hug and their space to sort out things. Just love them and don't ar...
I was working on a story and I have completed it today. I wrote a story about my late grandpa.
I evacuated myself from everything for some days and worked hard. My grandpa was an army man. He dedicated his whole life to Indian Army. He had to undergo amputation and tortures of terrorist.
He was a great man. I'm blessed that I could write something in his name.
I wish that my story gets published. FINGERS CROSSED...
Lying, it is an unavoidable and unacceptable human instinct. I am a person who never lies and expect others to do the same. But the world is full of different people. People lie to me and let me down. I know that none can avoid lying and why I hate it so much but I can never ignore such thing. I'm a very calm person but when I find someone is lying a Tsunami goes in my head. I want to say who ever lied to me I'm sorry I can't ignore this.
People, why do you lie. One day everyone would find the truth and at that you will let down your loved ones who always trust and believe in you. When thinking about all this I feel like I'm born in the wrong era because here people can never work without ly...
Today a person gave me very absurd complement, "You are mature that's why you don't mind others' reaction towards you."
I was really like you don't know how much it hurts when someone speaks bad about you but I hush because I know my energy is needed to be saved because I have a lot more to do that you have no idea about. Yes, now I am like that as I don't get offended by anyone because I expect things only from ME now. There is no person, not even my family that I expect something good. I have brave the time and I have not given even a single person right to make me sad as my happiness depends only on ME.
Never expect anyone would come and make you happy. If you can't love yourself complet...
The night.. Why nights are so intense? Running our brains faster than a train in day time and at the end lying on bed thinking all the things we had done till now. All bad and good deeds running in our mind. My mind mostly buzzers like "I hope God will end this all pretty well" People go through hell all the time but what hell really is none knows.
people come and judge and conclude that the other person got success so easily without hard work. Dude! put yourself in their shoes and then say anything. At the end the stars know who paid how much to get to the place they are right now. Let your success talk and be silent for those who have nothing else to say but to bitch about others.
love is a beautiful feeling. We sometimes mistake love with obsession. Obsession is far more different from love. "Love is painful", I would never agree to it. Love is the best feel in the world but today the people who love has changed and don't understand the feel. I've got a friend whose ex was obsessed with her and ruined her present relation saying "I am and will be there for you, he never deserved you", I was like WTH! if you really love her then just move on.
the problem today is we are incapable of treasuring the present. I've read a line in Gone Girl "If you can't take care of me while I'm alive, you have made me dead already." These lines are so deep and so thoughtful that it grasp...
Some instances in life change us.. We come across different people, different challenges and the ups and falls. We have to do so many things that we don't feel like doing. "waste of time" , "urghh!! I have much more better to do than this" THESE STATEMENTS, these are the thoughts that come in our mind when we are forced to do something.
But slowly you realize that you love this and may be it is your passion, you are born to do this.. We are a small creature of this BIG universe and there is so much to explore and learn. We unknowingly come across the miracles of the world. I never thought that I could write so good until my friends made me realize this. I never thought I am a good speaker un...
Life takes big turns.. I started writing officially just few days back that too on letters. Today I was showing my writings to my friend and he suggested me to write something more and a bit different. He asked me to write a story and guess what the first thing that came in my mind for the story is my grandfather. A person I have never met in my entire life, who is no more in this world and I am going to give that great man a new life through my book.
I felt so proud at that moment as everyone guessed I may write a love story as a Young Girl but my choice is totally different as I would write about an Army Man who was more than just a soldier but a man who dedicated all his life to others.....
The word experiment is itself a word which discourages many minds. An opportunity is standing at our door step but we ignore it in the fear of it's outcome. We are scared of experimenting.
Grabbing an opportunity is not easy because the outcome is surely uncertain and requires a lot of hard work which makes us think "Grapes are sour." But we live this life once. What we gain, we loose won't matter after we leave this world, so why regret or fear. Take every opportunity that comes in your way and sometimes when it doesn't charm you find some way that it will charm you and inspire you to do something that you have never tried in your whole life.
Come on!! writing a novel, havi...
Sometimes I think we humans, at least me and persons I know are never satisfied.
When we were kids we always had hurry to grow up so that we can be our own parent, we could stay awake all night, play as much as we want. But now I'm here all grown up and missing my old days.
Now I use to look at my childhood pictures and relive that moment by imagining it, I would put my head on my mother's lap to feel the old love and sometimes I would also listen to the songs that were released in my childhood and would act as if I have gained my childhood back..
YEAHH!!! I'm back, I punched the time in face.. but that is again just a lot of pretending. We always forget to treasure what is here with us...
These days a lot of things happening in my life, a lot of tasks are there in my mind but don't know why I am troubling to just write it down..
The problem with me is I always want to grow, I don't want to stop improving myself. After writing some lettrs I expect even something better from me.
This is may be a good thing that my thirst for improvement is never quenched but when I don't see any way to get better the situation is angst at that time..
I wish in future I will be satisfied with what I am achieving until then BE THIRSTY FOR BETTER>>
Most of the times there is a question in my mind..
"Why it is easy to talk to some stranger than our own family?"
I mean we all are here on Lettrs, pouring our heart out in front of millions of strangers and we don't care, right.. But now I think I got the answer. We need a listener sometimes and just a listener, no judgements, just a person to listen to us. A stranger won't judge us and we also don't care because he/she is nothing to us.. Of course we don't have any relation with them.
When our on people judge us and take control of us in their own hands at that time we find it difficult to share with them. May be we do this because we know how stressed they are and we don't want to str...
When I am sad I can't hear, feel or see anything..
It's purely dark and cold like I am in South Pole all alone.. I want to cry, shout out so loud so that I would hurt my vocal cords, desiring to hurt my self. Sitting alone thinking if breaking of bones is more painful or giving myself away is more painful.. In my lost thoughts I would tear myself apart, all in blood I am.
I don't feel upset over small things if anyone calls me a bitch or something but I'm broken inside when I can't feel my own heartbeat.
I'm just a girl wants just one guy.. No fairy tale,no prince charming, I just WANTED that ONE GUY...
This is my dark side but it is still me and I am accepting it with proud.
Today I woke to be totally new, totally alive.. I felt the cold breeze of early winter morning on my body, noticed how clouds are dancing to the rhythm of wind and charm on my face in the mirror..
BEAUTY EVERYWHERE, such a treat to the eyes..
When I went back to my bed I realized everything was there in exact same place but it was me who could not see that, I didn't have that view. I could remember a line by a public speaker who was blind
"It doesn't matter if I don't have the view but I have view point."
A deep thinker and observer can easily find what those line means and for a lay man I can only say "You may have view but you are missing your viewpoint"..
You are good, you are best but you don't get in return what you want or may be deserve.
A question "Why mostly bad things happen to good people?"
I have an absurd imagination for this actually...
Those who are good go to heaven and become angels so God make them see the bad things in their lives so that when they become angel, they can be rational with people and those who are in real need..
I may not be correct but that is my take, when something bad happens I think of it as an interview God is taking to be a better ANGEL..
I see kids now a days busy playing, playing virtual games not the real games..
Gone are the days when children used to play outside getting vitamins from sun. Exposure to the heat and sun is necessary for body, mind and soul. We fight with friends over silly things and then be friends again... Beauty of childhood..
Missing the days when i used to play with friends.. Even games like chess and Ludo are now virtual.. Hehe hope technology won't come up with virtual partners and family in the future.
Technology is supposed ease our life but not by surrounding us like air..
Life.. 4 letters but hard and to work it out one has to put in loads of hard work...
When we are working day and night and none notice the efforts, it is sure to feel irritated and it is your right to get frustrated but remember KARMA and HARD WORK always pay.. You work day and night for you, your family and your loved ones and when they don't appreciate we feel a little low.. 'Why you can't understand that I am doing so much and you can't even clean the dishes or just give me hug, i need rest' but you can't rest because you are aiming something big by giving up your deep sleeps and you want to achieve that aim, you have to stay calm and use your frustration in working even harder..
Sitting alone.. You are broke, from inside which is clearly reflected on your face.
You imagine yourself siting in a corner crying aloud as much as you would hurt your vocal cords, screaming, wanting to hurt yourself, and none is listening to you but outside you are expressionless just a plain face. You want someone by your side but you can't just go and ask that i need you please be with me.
Some downs of life are like this. Yes life gets better at the end but at some point of time you really need someone to depend upon. It is enough, you are tired of being strong, you want someone to take care of you..
I feel pain like this in months when I am in the lowest state of life and deals wit...
When we talk about inspirations we mostly feel inspired by some big leader or loved ones.. My inspiration is a bit different...
I feel most inspired from everyone's child hero, a person who made our childhood colorful and it is Walt Disney.
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them"
I found this quote the best, always encouraged me to dream big and to trust on me. A man who taught everyone to dream, to fill colors in your life and most important,,, we all will have a happy ending.
Most of us are so busy in our life that we don't stop and enjoy the details of life. Party and night outs are not 'the best life ever' but to stop whenev...