|Pies, ¿para qué los quiero si tengo alas para volar? ~Frida Kahlo|
Thinking how good god got me
I have been blessed with a new home, new car, new interest
And even thought my heart aches to see him with her
I know I am due for better
I know my heart and loyalty are incomparable
I know regret will soon set in for him
But for now, my heart aches
Yet I am thankful
I have so much to be happy about
So much to look forward to
I refuse to be sad
The ache will soon end
And maybe I can finally be free
I can finally let go
Of this old city, this old life, this old heart wrenching love
Love shouldn’t hurt this way
This is not love
Setting myself free.
At last the flip has switched
The clock has ticked
Enough is enough
I will resist
The time has come to undo everything done
To let go, move on
It made sense in my head
It made sense in my bed
At first I thought it was me
I couldn’t fill your cup
I just wasn’t, couldn’t be enough
The contrary is ironic
The opposite has occurred
You leave mine on empty
You left me unheard
The one who is too much is I
I am too much woman for you
This is my goodbye
I am too much love
I am too much soul
Too wild like the sea
Too sweet I can be
Too patient as time passes by
Too naive, wondering why
Why you left, why it could not be
This whole time I thought it was me
But really it was you
You who bro...
My heart was broken last year.
Not broken like you’d think.
I wasn’t torn apart by the devastation of a failed relationship. I wasn’t blue, or sunken below. My self-esteem wasn’t hit nor was the idea of being single again too dreary, too sad, too undesirable. I enjoy being single but my heart was broken.
Perhaps it was the accumulation of every break and tear it’s endured, it’s final crack. I held on to that last bit for so long, that last bit of hope, that last bit of light, that last bit of romance. The last piece of my heart, the last thread of of life to the other half of my heart which dangled for years, now the ties have been severed. I no longer dream of what will be and accept what ...
I begged my mind to delete you
Now I am forgetting
The memory of you distant
Of all the hope I had left
Now I’m begging for my memory to keep one last thought of you
I won’t lie
So don’t hate
I have an iPhone 8
Would’ve gotten the X
But didn’t want to wait
I love the gadgets and features
The photos and speakers
To grow my imagination
knowledge at my fingertips
Social interaction for the lonely
ego boosts for the insecure
But in reality my phone is the death to my soul
It overwhelms me
I cannot keep up
If it’s not you, it’s him or her
Expecting my attention at your call
Expecting my service 24/7
Too much information
Too much bad
My fingers hurt
My wrists bend
My eyes squint
Texts are never sent
Or maybe aren’t replied
Or maybe aren’t in time
No one listens
No one cares
No one is even there
My head fe...
It is when his lips touch mine
His fingertips sink into my skin
Caressing each curve and dip
He holds me with care
I close my eyes and enjoy the moment
But it’s you in the back of my mind
It’s you straddled on my heart
It’s your kisses that magnify my inextinguishable fire
It is the way your warmth feels like home
And his feels like safety
His feels like a breath of fresh air after shattered dreams
But you were my dream of dreams
I feel sadness in missing you
When he is so pure
It is your body I crave
Your soul I seek
Your everything, was everything to me
Yet here I am without you
On yet another darkened night
Where the even stars don’t shine
And the fog casts a veil so th...
All I can think in my head is.. I love u
All I can think in my bed is.. I love u
All I can think when my heart bleed red is.. I love u
I love u t
I love u see?
I love u be
Yesterday was a weak day
A week day, a weak day
I felt open, vulnerable, raw
Emotions crashed inside me
Cracked my heart open with a saw
I am healing
Some days are rough
But most are starting to feel great
Great with gratitude
Gratitude is great
My eyes are swollen
And my lips exhausted from quivering
But I am healing
I am more proud of myself for the release and it's relief
I feel good
I feel weak but strong
Who can take away my strength
I've learned that no one can
I am healing
I am learning myself
I am loving myself
This love will suffice
I am so tired of being sad
Stop now if you don't intend on reading my misery
its the mornings in which I awake
sadness at my throat
tears swell up my eyes
i have nothing to be sad about
except the reminders of all of the goodbyes
all of the ghosts of my past
must haunt me in my sleep
won't i fall asleep so deep not think
wont i live for just another day
with joy ahead
not misery in bed
why must i feel
that im not worth the stay
that you all must go
to where? where do you roam?
where do you go that I can not come
why must i feel so dumb
why must i keep trying for something that never works
that is believing all the dumb words
that is believing you won't go
but when you do...
Is it bad that I feel guilty moving on?
I gave my heart away and now I'm asking for it back since he left that rainy day in March with pain in his eyes and tears in mine.
Im unsure of what to do, if it's alright to be with someone new. If it's alright to hope again, and dream of you.
Im tired of this internal sadness, I feel guilt in moving on, is it so wrong for me hope for happiness?
The thought moving on makes me wary to start again. My heart still longs for him but unrequited love is not romantic
Loving someone till your heart aches as they give you zero is not romantic
Hoping that perhaps they miss you just a tiny bit enough to come back when reality hits and the truth is that ...
Let me share these thoughts
to walk and talk
to soak in
to let go
the real me
the sealed me
the fear me
the tear me
the dear me
where talks dont walk
and walks talk talks
walks long talks.
You are the first person in my life that makes me want to stay...
You look through me with eyes that pierce my soul
Your hand grabs my hand as Mine melt in your warmth
You hug me so tight, make me feel so loved
I give you what I have
I am in awe
I long to learn more about you
Curiosity at its peak
The way you are, think and speak
I want to know it all
My desire to know you is great
I ask about you
And you respond
Your answers honest and direct
God, I love honesty that raw
I ask and ask and I find myself asking
But never responding
You never knew my answers
You never asked
You didn't read me page by page
To learn me as I am
Not my first chapter or my last
You didn't ask
You kissed me and it was warm
Warm but empty
You do not know me
You didn't ...
I haven't written in a while
Time ran past me so fast that finally at this moment, I can catch up and realize it's been too long since I last let the words flow from my heart
Not much has changed, yet, everything has
I barely recognize myself anymore, in a good way of course, or so I'd like to think
Now I am a solid woman
A woman unfazed
A woman who no longer spills rambunctious words and feelings without thought or care
I am now cautious
I am now calculated
I am now intricately put together
I miss the messy me
But nothing compares to stability
Nothing compares to the inner views of people's reactions bouncing off of me
As I remain ~still~
I know love exists and it's out there somewhere w...
You were my soulmate, I was sure of it.
Only you have been able to awaken a fire deep in my soul
A fire put asleep over the transcendance of time
It was your being that permeated in my mind
As I dreamt of you and wished you near
It was your words that elevated me
Pulled me out of my own carved cave to see the light
I knew it since I met you that you would be the one
What I didn't know was what kind of one
There's this idea of love for the idealistic far from realistic
Far from what it is and what it should be
What I didn't know was that you still had a lot of you to find, to figure out
And the collide of you and I was at the right time but also too soon and now it's too late
Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --
because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.
Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.
Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,
because in that moment you'll have gone so far
I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying...
Surreal it feels to have you near
To see, to hold, to have, to hear
I'm not yet used to the sound of your voice
Melodic, harmonic, the soft strumming of chords
I have you here and I'm filled with fear
I should be free and permit you come away with me
I'm fighting these vicious thoughts aiming to pull me away from you
Scared that if I let you in
The pain will begin
What pessimistic thoughts spawning from a wounded mind
A wounded heart by those that left me behind
You haven't done a thing and I realize that this is me
I promise you I'm fighting to let you have my heart to win
I dreamt of you day by day and night by night
Love overfilled my soul, with you in my eyes sight
Why must I h...
Like the Birds🌤
Birds like my soul
Blissfully flying through the skies
Freedom flows under my wings
As sun rays beam in my eyes
How amazing to be so free
An individual separate from democracy
Out of life's old gold cages
Out of life's topsy turvy mazes
Free to sing, roam, and fly where I wish
My soul is happy with freedom's kiss
Warmth on my colorful feathers
As I fly into the white puffy clouds
I'll sing into them happily, loud and proud
"Patience".... whispers my heart.
There is no need for rushing for our love is eternal and will not part
Our flames are a duo, the perfect pair
And with a sigh, I gasp for air
Upon looking into your eyes once again
I welcome you home, Mr. Monsieur, lets begin as great friends
Complete is what I feel as I am reminded of your scent
The scent I've missed for too long in fear of having lost it all
In fear that one day you wouldn't call
For a second, I saw your eyes a bit sadder than before
But I know it's because life has tested you
As it has tested me more
I congratulate you, for we have both passed and here we are once again
Here we are, in the best moment
All the love my heart has to send...
I lay here and I feel... still
As chaos and mayhem swirl around me I am caught in the eye of the storm
Peace overtakes me
Perhaps it is after the hurricane when life's tolls are settled and I can resettle
Perhaps it is the revelation that grants me with bliss as I honor it with trust
Perhaps it is knowing the other half of my soul is near and in due time, we will reunite
Perhaps it is the end of the terrible compilation of days which equivalent to a terrible compilation of years
Perhaps it is the hope and the excitement of a new beginning or the conclusion of a bad finale
Perhaps it is the abandonment of this hole-in-the-wall I call home and the promise of a new home filled wi...
Here I am again. Sleep has completely escaped me. I long to dream in the coziness of my bed, in the warmth of my blankets with hopes of escaping this crazy Canadian winter breeze. Here I am again thinking of you.
You've returned, I'm shocked to say the least. I didn't expect you so soon. Maybe the shooting stars have granted my wishes and brought you home.
I'm overfilled with a sense of elation. I'm daydreaming dreams of you and me, together happily. I'm hearing sweet melodies as you come across my mind.
My instinct tells me you miss me so. No need for you to say a word, only a glance and I can understand every feeling you feel. You've returned and it's no coincidence. I've missed ...
Bittersweet feelings as I see the face of my first love again... How time has changed us. I see his face the same as I did long ago, something draws me back in to the softness of his eyes, his golden skin tone and his huge smile.
However today, I see him a bit more beautiful, with a sprinkled wrinkles showing me that he has indeed smiled, he has indeed loved, he has indeed found happiness.
We have traveled along our own journeys to figure out our own way in this whirlwind of a world.
Nostalgia hits me as I remember the sweet and loving days we shared, the days filled with everlasting hope and happiness. The teenage hopeless love and devotion. The days when we wrote love letters and hand d...
Sometimes I wonder whether or not I should remain silent...
Would my silence aid my relationships for the better or aid the continuance of a bitten tongue?
The voice I speak, complimentary to the words I feel, stem from a deep ocean of fluid compassion
Compassion is armored with an intellectual mind and simplistic views
Opinionated, I am. I speak my mind with eloquent words of reason against treason
And yet, my tongue is blue from bites I have held in a contemptuous attempt to avoid an offense
Sometimes they do not agree with my opinions of a greater good and world peace
They do not agree with universal love for all beings
They do not agree with the gift of gratitude and unselfish deeds...
Have you ever stared at the moon in complete awe that such a beauty could possibly exist? As if for one second the world stopped and as you realize nothing else matters, an overwhelming feeling of serenity and completion fill your being. Have you ever wondered if perhaps someone else is staring at the same moon, connecting to you? May the invisible thread never break, wherever on this earth it is that you are, I hope that days upon days and nights upon nights you are reminded of that one special moment.
I thought of you today
I wrote you a poem, one you'll never read
I wrote you a letter, one you'll never receive
I sang you a song, one you'll never hear
I sent you a kiss, one you'll never feel
I miss you and I hope you know, that wherever it is you go, I'll never forget you so
I sit down and pick up the pen
To serenade my lost muse again,
There are vague images I seek
And while consistencies are bleak,
I still enjoy searching the cause
The words in which the moments pause
And in that sudden clarity,
I look for my epiphany…
My muse is gone, been called away
And while the world will keep at bay
The emptiness in rush of noise,
Drown out that vacant seat disguised
Marked in reservation and stamped,
I wait out on the porch, encamped,
For when my muse is back again,
The world of words will let me in.
For on my own I have no key,
Wherever could my lost muse be?
People are so conditioned to believe their way of life is the only way of life. The life they have been taught not even experienced for themselves. You may become prejudiced against me for my decisions but have you ever stopped to consider that perhaps, perhaps there might be other viewpoints that lead to a common goal? Love/Peace/Happiness. Opening ones mind to other cultures, lifestyles, religions and ways of being is the greatest lesson in unity. Any preconceived notions are just another way to keep people separated and self-righteous.
Is that the world you dream to live in?