|19. Mother. Student. Poet. Twitter: @KatieLMorris98 IG:@ktmorrisx|
I was recently asked about my pregnancy and the birth of my little boy and it truly got me thinking.
Whilst carrying my unborn child i was overwhelmed scared and mostly excited. I admit i was petrified, what if i wasn't good enough? What if i let him down? What if i dont love him enough? Now i look back and all these questions within were extreme. The second he was born i laughed and hysterically cried, i could finally see what me and my lover created, i could cuddle what had been kicking me in the ribs for months. Happy was an understatement i felt complete. I had a whole new purpose to life, a reason to fight, a reason to wake up. And he looked at me, straight in to my eyes, h...
Moment of truth
Today i woke up,
Finally not feeling like a failure,
Not defined by mental health,
I woke up proud,
I have changed my life,
Turned it around,
For the best,
I am a mother,
I am getting my degree,
I am writing my book,
I am carrying huge happy secrets,
And i am proud,
Even though i dropped out of school,
Failed most of my GCSE's,
I have come out on top,
Proving to myself,
I can be better,
I want to be better,
I can do this!
The pulsating ache,
Bashing against my skull,
Eyes slam shut,
My face grimaces,
The pain takes over,
Covered in quilts,
Pillows become one with my ears,
Sleep is my only rescue,
When i awake this will all be over.
A small selection of the human race are yet to give up,
They still believe the world is a wonderful place,
The rest of the population see only negatively,
Dismissing any idea that there is still good in this world of ours,
The few who do believe see the world for how magnificent it really could be,
Imagine how amazing the world could be if everyone had hope,
How beautiful society would be if we all believed there was no hate within us,
The pain is overwhelming,
The voices you attempt to ignore,
The scales you practically avoid,
You never asked for this,
You don't even know why,
You just know your the one suffering,
You just cant get away,
The fear of failure,
The fear of death,
You really do try,
They see skin and bones,
Ignoring the fire inside,
They blame themselves,
You search for someone to blame,
You seek society, media even the environment around you,
You just see you.
My names Ana
Hey, my name is Ana,
I live inside her,
I manifest throughout her,
I take over,
I spit horrible thoughts into her head,
I make her believe this world is a horrible place,
I make her see the world will end if she fights me,
She still believes me,
I allow her to think she's escaping,
Then I simply reappear,
She dies inside a little every time,
Theres no easy escape,
She knows this now,
So why does she still try?
No one knows my efforts day by day,
Everyone has their own,
No-one knows mine,
I'd tell you but then the mystery would be gone,
Some days are better than others,
I think that goes for everyone,
That doesn't mean i compare them,
I just understand no-one has it easy,
If we did what would be the point,
You wouldn't have to work for anything,
You wouldn't improve,
You'd assume everything is perfect,
You wouldn't care about having anything better,
Maybe that could be a good thing,
It would definitely have its pros and cons,
Just wake up everyday and try,
Make it count.
Pillows cover your face,
Hands grip your ears,
Creating a soundproof shield around you,
Sheltering you from all thats going on around you,
Gritting your teeth tightly,
Heart beating profoundly,
Shattering your ribcage in the process,
Your lungs tighten,
Your throat drys,
Mind goes blank,
Your scream incredibly loud,
Informing everyone around you,
That your still here,
That you still exist,
An immediate grin arises,
Her mind swirls and goes fuzzy,
Her limbs go numb,
Her knees shake,
She makes an effort to stay standing,
Her stomach knots,
Filling with butterflies,
A nauseous state overtakes her,
Your touch sends electric shocks directly through her,
Her pulse quickens,
Her breathing staggers,
Her body screams internally,
They call it love.
Holding you back,
From your full potential,
Walls stand tall,
Brick by brick,
I never tell you enough how much you truly mean to me, i used to dismiss it.
But now ive moved out i tell you i do really miss it.
You are my rock, my saviour, my holy grail.
You have always been there by my side even when i fail.
I am your first daughter, you could say your favourite.
There is 11 of us children so i'll keep that between us.
The knowledge you have given us.
The humour you share with us.
The love you spread around us.
We acknowledge it.
Happy Fathers Day
Daddy we love you!
Breakage between the clouds,
Eventually pushing each other away.
Telephone lines cutting out,
A babies cry,
Disturbing you from well needed rest,
The love, tiredness, frustration,
Many small interferences make up our daily lives, encouraging vigorous emotion, good and bad.
Four walls surround me
Fear of them enclosing
My chest tightness
The floor collapses
My heart is in my throat
No amount of controlled breathing can save me
Your born from a foetus position,
You change, grow and develop,
Into a proper little person,
You make decisions,
You learn something new everyday,
You have an opinion,
Your now a fully grown adult,
The decisions have become more complicated,
Your still learning day by day,
Your opinions become more valid,
This is an insane and psychopathic world we live in! Another terrorist attach in London late last night. Is anywhere safe? These terrorists seem to think they have some sort of hold over us! They most certainly do not! We are a strong country, yes these incidents are horrific but we will always come out the other side! As a country we are coming together more and more, looking out for one another! I am proud of that! R.I.P to all the victims that were caught up in this attack and i hope that everyone who sustained injuries are getting the help they need by our wonderful NHS!
We will get through this!
Hello, so my name is Katie i'm 18 years of age. I'd like people to understand what i write and why i write it and to do that i think you need to know a little more about me.
At aged 4 i was diagnosed with Trichotillomania which is a compulsive hair pulling disorder, I still have this today. Due to this I was bullied throughout primary and secondary school. I stopped attending school for 6 months in year 8 as it all got too much. Eventually I made friends I thought life was getting better. I loved school I was planning on being an archaeologist at the time. I thought if I had a lot of boyfriends id be popular, boy was I wrong, I become "needy" or "the school slut" even though I was still a vi...
Your beauty within blossoms,
It radiates from all your bodily features,
Glowing from your facial expression,
Your white teeth making a dramatic appearance,
Your beautiful smile creating a friendly, approachable face,
No matter your insecurities,
Others will fall in love with your confidence,
Gazing into the mirror in disgust,
My conscious yelling,
"Why did you do this to yourself, your gross",
I look away,
I can not withstand the judgement,
The self hate,
I know I'm healthy,
My disorder thinks differently,
I know i'm stronger than this,
I stare myself down,
Repeating the words i long to hear,
"You are beautiful","you are healthy",
Over and over again,
Teaching my conscious to think differently,
Attempting to praise myself,
Scared to fail,
I can be strong,
I will be okay.
Optimistic yet sad inside
I wake up,
Drag myself out of bed,
Breathe deeply, once,
Holding my breath the entire time,
Faking happiness is draining,
My facial expression allows people to see differently.
I smile to prove to myself i still can,
I can be positive when i have the energy to be.
I don't understand it myself,
I have everything i could ask for yet my mind still wanders,
Im still sad somewhere inside.
#FEELGOOD WRITING PROMPT
For the first time in a long time,
I am truly happy,
I have a positive mindset,
I have a smile on my face,
I have a gorgeous man at my side,
And our precious baby boy in our life,
This is my happiness in a can,
I can finally be myself once again,
My mental state is back on top,
I am really recovering,
Mentally and physically!
I'm truly happy
Ps. This is my positive post, my happiness. Feel free to share your own tag FEELGOOD.
You opened up,
I was there,
When no one else was,
You got attached,
Way too attached,
I felt bad,
I blocked your add,
It was a last resort,
I would never be what you want,
You need professional help,
Not useless words from my mouth,
I cant be your helping hand,
But i cant keep my head in the sand,
I will always be here if you need me,
Just not romantically attached.
Ive been struggling to think of what to say, nothing i say will make it all okay, the horrors the uk has experienced is disturbing and extremely upsetting,
Many of us know people involved and the families who will never see their loved ones again due to one huge disaster!
I am very sorry to everyone who was at the event that had to witness this.
My heart goes out to you all.
The people that did this are sick and twisted leaving the country in fear!
I don't know what else i can say but as a country we are strong and we will beat this!
Yes we argue,
Yes we fight,
But we always cuddle up in bed at night.
Yes we hurt,
Yes we cry,
But we always stay at each others sides.
Yes we smile,
Yes me laugh,
We know we love each other when we look into each others eyes.
You think its fun,
I think its dumb,
You pick up the bottle,
I tidy up,
You awaken angry at the world,
Go to work,
You come home happy,
You pick up the bottle,
I tidy up.
I see you,
Nobody else does,
But i do.
Your all mine,
My best friend,
I can talk to you,
You always listen,
A personal journal.
Your always here,
Stood by my side,
Where are you?
I lay awake,
Lonely and insecure,
In a foetus position,
Huddled closely together,
Without a friendly face insight,
So lost and alone,
Its like your barely there, even at night.
Its all getting too much
Everything is a rush
My chest is crushing
My lungs tighten
My breathing heightens
My face, emotionless
My eyes, empty
I cant cope
I cant be your shoulder
I need someone to be mine
To cry on
I try so hard to keep everyone happy
It never turns out right for my mental health
So why do i bother
i never come away better.