|Mother. Student. Poet. Twitter: @KatieLMorris98 IG:@k.l.morris98|
She closed her eyes and breathed,
Its time you go,
Confusion clear in his eyes,
Sadness in hers,
But he knew if he stayed,
He would destroy her.
Is it too much?
Is it too much to want to feel?
Is it too much to want you?
Is it too much to ask for happiness?
For cosy nights in
For lustrous nights out
Is it too much?
Occasionally, in this universe
We collide into each other,
Crashing from person to person,
Creating an universe of relationships,
Friends and enemies.
Sometimes i feel unworthy of you
I pinch myself to remind myself
this is real
You are real
You aren’t just a figure of my imagination
I am worthy of your love
Your just an illusion
Trapped within a delusional world
Staying sane is pointless
Maybe you should live a little
That nauseating feeling
Your stomach in knots
The lump in your throat
The tears in your eyes
The pounding in your chest
The pain in your head
That is anxiety
The saddest moments in life
Can have the largest effects
On your happiest memories
She stood there
So effortlessly beautiful
What made her so beautiful?
The fact that she didn’t know
Time stands still
For those few moments
Everything is perfect
That One Glare
Soft yet intent,
Full of awe,
Warmth radiating from within,
Causing my heart to pound,
Butterflies spawn within the pit of my stomach,
My body frozen in time,
Unable to escape his stare,
I never want to escape,
He makes me feel,
The world around me,
My future is unknown.
The fear is overwhelming.
Once upon a time,
Everything was so certain,
Time is running out,
I try to stay strong.
I try to be supportive.
In reality I’m completely falling,
Never Good Enough?
A sickening feeling that rushes straight to your stomach,
Your scrambled mind swashing around like mush,
The blank stare, unable to bring yourself to smile,
Your emotionless to the public eye,
On the inside you are tearing yourself apart,
On the verge of a breakdown every time your left alone,
They all know,
You tell yourself they cant see,
They do see,
They're just too scared to say anything,
What if the say the wrong thing,
What if they push you over the edge,
They keep quiet,
Maybe that is for the best,
The thought of talking makes your throat swell,
Yours hands go clammy,
Your heart-rate quickens,
Completely unable to catch your breath,
Is this how yo...
You open your eyes,
The world around you is terrifying,
The image you’ve created in your mind is worse,
Immense fear riddles through you,
Like a bad itch you simply cannot reach,
You hide your panicked state,
You see they’re not scared,
So why are you?
Your mind is holding you prisoner,
With no set release date,
Your told you’re alone,
Your told no one will understand,
You believe this irrational fear is very real,
There is no escaping that,
Daily life becomes decapitating,
The natural things to fear slightly become petrifying,
Your mind did this to yourself,
How do you escape from yourself?
Lost and Alone
There she stood,
But shes okay,
She tells everyone shes okay,
She holds her breath every time she enters a room,
Edging up against the walls,
The ceiling collapses,
Her heart sinks,
She can hear her own heartbeat above the crowds,
She holds her breath,
Praying for the anxiety to end,
She closes her eyes,
Imagining her safe place,
Away from this nightmare,
Alone but safe.
I heard you voice,
Butterflies evolved in my stomach,
Fluttering round with rope,
My heart beat quickened shattering my rib cage,
A bright smile on my face,
like a child on Christmas morning,
This was love,
This is still love.
I was recently asked about my pregnancy and the birth of my little boy and it truly got me thinking.
Whilst carrying my unborn child i was overwhelmed scared and mostly excited. I admit i was petrified, what if i wasn't good enough? What if i let him down? What if i dont love him enough? Now i look back and all these questions within were extreme. The second he was born i laughed and hysterically cried, i could finally see what me and my lover created, i could cuddle what had been kicking me in the ribs for months. Happy was an understatement i felt complete. I had a whole new purpose to life, a reason to fight, a reason to wake up. And he looked at me, straight in to my eyes, h...
Moment of truth
Today i woke up,
Finally not feeling like a failure,
Not defined by mental health,
I woke up proud,
I have changed my life,
Turned it around,
For the best,
I am a mother,
I am getting my degree,
I am writing my book,
I am carrying huge happy secrets,
And i am proud,
Even though i dropped out of school,
Failed most of my GCSE's,
I have come out on top,
Proving to myself,
I can be better,
I want to be better,
I can do this!
The pulsating ache,
Bashing against my skull,
Eyes slam shut,
My face grimaces,
The pain takes over,
Covered in quilts,
Pillows become one with my ears,
Sleep is my only rescue,
When i awake this will all be over.
A small selection of the human race are yet to give up,
They still believe the world is a wonderful place,
The rest of the population see only negatively,
Dismissing any idea that there is still good in this world of ours,
The few who do believe see the world for how magnificent it really could be,
Imagine how amazing the world could be if everyone had hope,
How beautiful society would be if we all believed there was no hate within us,
The pain is overwhelming,
The voices you attempt to ignore,
The scales you practically avoid,
You never asked for this,
You don't even know why,
You just know your the one suffering,
You just cant get away,
The fear of failure,
The fear of death,
You really do try,
They see skin and bones,
Ignoring the fire inside,
They blame themselves,
You search for someone to blame,
You seek society, media even the environment around you,
You just see you.
My names Ana
Hey, my name is Ana,
I live inside her,
I manifest throughout her,
I take over,
I spit horrible thoughts into her head,
I make her believe this world is a horrible place,
I make her see the world will end if she fights me,
She still believes me,
I allow her to think she's escaping,
Then I simply reappear,
She dies inside a little every time,
Theres no easy escape,
She knows this now,
So why does she still try?
No one knows my efforts day by day,
Everyone has their own,
No-one knows mine,
I'd tell you but then the mystery would be gone,
Some days are better than others,
I think that goes for everyone,
That doesn't mean i compare them,
I just understand no-one has it easy,
If we did what would be the point,
You wouldn't have to work for anything,
You wouldn't improve,
You'd assume everything is perfect,
You wouldn't care about having anything better,
Maybe that could be a good thing,
It would definitely have its pros and cons,
Just wake up everyday and try,
Make it count.
Pillows cover your face,
Hands grip your ears,
Creating a soundproof shield around you,
Sheltering you from all thats going on around you,
Gritting your teeth tightly,
Heart beating profoundly,
Shattering your ribcage in the process,
Your lungs tighten,
Your throat drys,
Mind goes blank,
Your scream incredibly loud,
Informing everyone around you,
That your still here,
That you still exist,
An immediate grin arises,
Her mind swirls and goes fuzzy,
Her limbs go numb,
Her knees shake,
She makes an effort to stay standing,
Her stomach knots,
Filling with butterflies,
A nauseous state overtakes her,
Your touch sends electric shocks directly through her,
Her pulse quickens,
Her breathing staggers,
Her body screams internally,
They call it love.
Holding you back,
From your full potential,
Walls stand tall,
Brick by brick,
I never tell you enough how much you truly mean to me, i used to dismiss it.
But now ive moved out i tell you i do really miss it.
You are my rock, my saviour, my holy grail.
You have always been there by my side even when i fail.
I am your first daughter, you could say your favourite.
There is 11 of us children so i'll keep that between us.
The knowledge you have given us.
The humour you share with us.
The love you spread around us.
We acknowledge it.
Happy Fathers Day
Daddy we love you!
Breakage between the clouds,
Eventually pushing each other away.
Telephone lines cutting out,
A babies cry,
Disturbing you from well needed rest,
The love, tiredness, frustration,
Many small interferences make up our daily lives, encouraging vigorous emotion, good and bad.