|a semi normal lady who loves my children so much|
Ive been on social media for two years now. And honestly, im sick of it. I mean i know people are on social media to keep in touch with everyone, but honestly, it can ruin relationships and friendships if you allow it. The more i went on facebook the more tired of it i became. Families are ruined and theres lack of communication. I cant stand it. When i was working thats all i would ser. Everyone texting or looking on their pones. Kids paying with their tablets. Not interacting and just not communicating with each other. Its sad. When i was young, we went outside, played until we got tired. Now theyd rather be on their pones, ipads and whatever else there is. Yes i have a ...
Lately ive been in an awful mood. I dont feel like me. I feel weird. Like I'll dive under a rock or something. I feel sad i feel awful and depressed. I look at my pictures and i ser a huge difference in them im sadder in each one now than others. I Love me but not really.
I don't have any issues with Halloween. Heck I used to dress up when I was younger. I even let my kids do it. People are gonna do what they wanna do how they wanna do it. They're grown and no one should tell them hey Halloween is a pagan holiday. Or hey thanksgiving is not right because they robbed and murdered the native Americans. Or even, hey you shouldn't celebrate Christmas because its just a way to get all OK f your money because hey Jesus was born on this day people are gonna believe what they want. Its not our right to judge them. I saw a lot of people on my timeline dressed up in costume. The same ones who were hollering about how we were being done. Hey that's their pre...
I have been down lately. Depressed and sad. I don't know what to do anymore. But I woke up one day and I was a different person. I don't know what day that was. I've decided to not worry about stuff because when something good happens, something bad happens and so on. Its called a chain reaction. I'm gonna smile and keep moving forward. I have to. Otherwise I would have a nervous breakdown. Pray for me please.
I'm bipolar. Ive always been this way. I hate it. Some days I'm up other days I'm down. Sometimes I'm in between. Right now I'm down. Tomorrow I might be happy or agitated or something like that. I don't wanna take medication but maybe if I do it'll even me out. I'm scared that I'll be locked up in a mental hospital and my parents will get my kids. But I need help. I'm afraid that I'll seriously hurt myself. I've been through hell and back. Now you know. This is true. It's real. Goodnight all.
I'm a jealous female. Ive always been this way as long as I can remember. It all started in high school and continued to now. I guess that's why I hardly log into Facebook. There's always some damn female commenting on my fiances posts. OK I know he always tells me that he loves me and he doesn't want anyone else. I love him so much and Ive been through hell and back in past relationships. And I know I should let the past go.. You know what?? Never mind. I'm OK I love him and he loves me. And they're just comments. And if they ever take it too far he'll stop it or I will. 👾👾
I am 40% Cherokee, 10% Caucasian, 20% African American, 10% Japanese, and 20% Hawaiian 🌺. I love me. I don't need to bow down and wear makeup. That's what society wants me to do. I love how I am. I love wearing my naked face. That's how we came into the world. We all have flaws. And unless we really need to correct it with surgery we should embrace us!! I am not going to change for anyone. People are gonna do what they want. People are gonna get plastic surgery even though they don't need it. People are gonna buy expensive makeup even though they know they are so beautiful without it. I'm just stating my opinion. In the end if you want to spend $100s of dollars to look good OK....
You know that feeling of peace? That's what I have right now. Like an island of love. I have forgiven those who have done me wrong. I have blocked them out of my life. They we're poisoning my soul. I feel content and happy. Like a glass of the sweetest wine 🍶. I have moved on. I hope they find peace as I have. I'm no longer angry. I am happy 😀.
What of we don't have a lot of time left? What if we found out we only had until the end of the year to live? What would we do? How would we spend these last months? I'd go to the Casino and hit for 100,000.00 and id pay all of my debt off, invest in my kids future, get married and go off the grid. Like an island in Brazil. And wait. But sometimes I think
I'll live to be 102. Maybe hit the lottery and die happy with my loved ones beside me. Or id get killed by one single gun shot because of a jealous ex. Who knows?? I'm not sacred though. The ones who keep posting about it in Facebook those are the ones who are sacred. They live on Facebook. They post every day of their live...
I now realize that i can no longer depend on Family. I can only depend on me and the ones already around me. I feel like so lost. Ive been trying to let go of the past. I have. But its so hard. Ive been trying to do things to maje me happy. I mean i pay rent and all of my bills and take care of home. But maybe i need to get out more?? But i dont go to bars or clubs. Am i boring? All i wanna do is sit home and watch netflix and chill. Lol. Ughhh!! Im so pitiful!!!
Dear ex husbands, Im sorry i ever met yall. Im sorry i even knew yall. I was so naive and reckless. I was impressionable and stupid to think that yall loved me. Im sorry for thinking that i was loved. Im sorry for allowing my feelings to get in the way of me being the person i was meant to be. Im sorry for loving and caring the way i did.
Im a nice person. I dont bother anyone and i keep to myself. Im a great mom. I love my Family. I feel for everyone that has suffered from the hurricanes and earthquakes. I am saddened about the upcoming hurricanes that are gonna sweep through Florida and maybe it will come our way . But i pray it doesnt. But i will not tolerate anyone coming after me saying that im a bad person for not offering a helping hand or even donating to the hurricane that hit texas. Ive donated and even offered Food and old clothes. Ive done what i can. Leave me alone. I will not be told that im going to hell because of my religious views. My thing is this stuff is gonna happen. Stuff has been happening si...
Sometimes its so hard for me to let go of my past. I was so hurt and let down that I shut myself out from everyone because I felt like id keep getting hurt. My fiance is trying to get me to let go of my past and move on and be happy but that's hard when some of the people who hurt you are in the same state as you. So I have two options.. Move on from it or move to another state. I can't move right now so I have to be the bigger person and move on. I know they have. They're probably laughing at me because I can't move on like they have. But I got a trick for all of them. I won't ever bring them up again. It's gonna be hard but I can do this. I know I can. If I have to write it down...
I close my eyes and for just one moment im invisible noone can see me. I open them and im back. I close them... Im still here. Im amazing. Im irresistible im loved. Im so stripped down to my most vulnerable moments. I sit in silence. Im crying, crying, and now im laughing. Im insane but im sane. I am who i am. Its love me.
My city and i. Its different. Its real. Its crazy at times But its mine. Its hot its chilly at times but its mine. Its country. Its laid back. Its cruel at times but its mine.
I feel free. I feel real. I feel uninhibited and raw. I feel unlawful i feel. I feel . i feel
Procrastinate means to put off stuff until the last minute. I was a huge procrastinator when I was young. I always waited until the last minute but somehow I got it done a day or two before it was due. Papers, assignments, etc. Bot Now my second oldest daughter has picked up my bad habit. I told her when school starts back up yo make sure she shows me everything she has to do. So i have a long year ahead of me.
Sometimes I wonder why people are the way they are. That's why I keep to myself at work and when im out and about. I had this situation one time. I was in Walmart and I literally ran into my fiances ex. I mean she didn't see me but it scared me because she accused me of stealing him from her. I didn't. She harassed me to no end for about two weeks. I was upset because she was just being ridiculous and petty. I feel bad for her because she's gonna be alone forever and be petty. She calls herself a so called woman of god but she talk out both sides of her mouth. She's supposed to be mature she's supposed to be civil. But you can't help people who don't see it. Im a prophetess and ...
Breathe, I tell myself. Breathe and it'll be over soon. Im 40 for goodness sake . I turned 40 on june 21st. I had a little breakdown. I kept calling out of work. Im not where I want to be in life but I have to grin and bear it. Why? Because my kids need me . Im sitting in the cafe at books a million. Drinking a honey latte. Enjoying myself. My kids are OK. My fiance is still sleep. Shoot they're fine. Sometimes I need some time to be me. And this is the time. I love everyone but omg. Its always mom! Mom! Or baby! Baby! Sigh! ! That's my rant for the day and I'll be back later to rant more! ! 🍷🍷
I don't feel good. I don't feel like me. I feel like someone else. Foreign almost. It's a new year and I'm supposed to be happy. I am but I feel like I'm falling apart at the seams. I feel numb and not here. I need a vacation so bad. But it is what it is. I feel weird now. I'm almost 40 but I feel older.
Watching Gossip Girl. Eating peach pie. Sitting at home bored out of my mind. Have I lost it. I grew up too fast learning to fend for myself oh what a blast. Now that I'm older I miss being a child. I had to do things for myself without any help. I had to cook and wash my own clothes. I had no idea what it was like and no one knows. I went through so much craziness and pain. Sometimes I wondered why it rained. Was I the cause of it. Was it my fault? Was I the one to added more salt? Now as I sit and wait for me to get together and leap. I'm tired of being silent and just so weak. I've been stressing out about nonsense stuff now that I think about it it's not so tough.
Dying to fit in to a world that is so cruel. Trying to be sexy so all the men will drool. Trying to be skinny and so untamed trying to be famous without the fame. But in reality you're tired from working hard all day. Trying to piece together rent but eventually you find a way. Trying not to show just how tired you are. Trying to keep it running that piece of crap car. But it gets you from point A to B. But all others look at is how it's supposed to be. Trying to fit in and find a new norm , trying like hell to be calm and weather the damn storm. You sit and cry for what seems like days on end. Realizing that you have but one friend. Someone who understands how it is to be you , the one you ...
It's almost Christmas and I've done all of my shopping. I'm broke!! But I've gotten my babies something and I even got myself some things. I never do anything for me. So that's my resolution. Do a little something for me every once in awhile. With that being said... Merry Christmas and Happy new year!! Enjoy yourselves and don't get too wild and crazy. It's a lot of idiots out there. I've already had one phone stolen from me!! Love y'all!!
Sipping expensive champagne and Martini's. Partying with the elite. Laughing and smiling and having an awesome time. Looking at the night sky waiting on the fireworks to start. It's 1150 and ten minutes before the new year rungs in. New resolutions and new beginnings. Promises we'll never keep to ourselves and others. What a waste right? It's midnight now and it's 2017. What happens to me? What do I do? Keep my resolutions? I don't know if I can. But I'll try. Cheers to you and yours on this almost new year. Ring it in and live life to the fullest. Be happy with your life and your family.
I'm weird. I can't help it. I'm special they say. I'm older than I am. I have an old soul. I'm quiet and peaceful and happy. I try to be but on the inside I'm totally losing it. Rent, bills, things that the kids need. No sleep. I try to make the best of my life. I even bought me a pair of boots from just fab. It's like Tiffany's but a lot cheaper!! But I feel bad. Like I wasn't supposed to do anything for me. I try to meditate and do yoga. But the only yoga I'm good at is sleeping pose!! I work hard and I just want to be able to say I am a good person which I am. Ughhh!! I'm a mess. But not really.
Peppermint mochas, double shot expressos computers open, tablets propped up. Cell phones of all kinds buzzing with texts and emails. Wanna be writers and poets. Meanwhile I'm just sitting in a cozy chair sipping in a chestnut praline latte. Tall with extra foam and milk. Listening to my music on my phone and people watching. Suddenly the door opens and I see him. My soulmate. He walks up to the counter and orders a coffee black. And a donut plain. He waits for his order. He grabs it and walks over to the cream and sugar. He puts four sugars and stirs. He tastes it and adds another one. He nods and smiles. He's looking for a seat. And the only one available is the chair next to me. I move my s...
My children mean everything to me. I have a son and two daughters. When you look at me you wouldn't think I had any children at all. Or I may not be the mothering type. You are so wrong. My children are my world. I've had two bad marriages and two bad relationships but my children have stuck with me throughout it all. They are my life force. When they're sick I'm sick. When they cry I cry. When they're angry I'm angry. I put them before everything. I'd do anything for them. If you take a million dimes and cash them in it still wouldn't compare to the love I have for my children. I hate not being able to get something for them. I feel bad. But I always tell them if I can't get ...
I'm a chameleon forever changing. Jumping from here to there always rearranging. I'm a chameleon you don't like my color? Here let me change into another. I'm a chameleon. Forever changing my life. From single mom to doting wife. I'm still a mom always running around. Leggings one day and an old top I've found. I'm a chameleon now it's time to rest. I've worked hard today and given it my best. Tommorows another day. Time to relax and reflect what else is there to say??