It was her daily walk for the past 20 years. Every morning it seemed to get better and better. It was her versus time.
She didn’t live too far from the mountains and the skies were clear blue. She could barely look up that morning as she walked the path. The sun was shooting sun rays at every corner. It was so bright and her sunglasses felt defeated by the abundance of sunshine.
She finally reached her destination. This great big oak tree that looked like it was well over 80 years plus old. It’s branches were enormous and reached as far up to the sky. She always said it was the stair way to heaven. At least that’s how she saw it. Ha ha ha.
This was her spot. This was ...
I literally stopped time from that day forward. I decided to mentally travel to the past. I knew it wasn’t a good thing but at the moment it was all I had of him. His time was done.
I had no way of clearing myself of guilt. I felt as a mother I let him down. I was alone and no one could put themselves in my situation. I was delicate and was struggling with my own existence. This loss didn’t help at all. He wasn’t just my son. He was someone I knew from above. They were scared this situation was going to ruin me. They saw my soul turn colors and my soul was screaming every day and night for the past 5 years. This situation was slowly killing me and I was allowing it.
Everyone who was...
He passed up 7 lights and it only got worse. His mind was spinning with word after word that was repeatedly said by her. He was contemplating the situation he just experienced. Laura said some pretty damaging words without thought. She knew he was in a state of madness. Yet she pushed him to the limits. So He left the house and started walking. He had no business trying to bring down the one person he loved which was Laura. Ones bad action doesn’t equal revenge. He left to air out his mind and escape from the ego that was ready to destroy everything he built with her. Laura was a hot mess. She was calling him non stop. He could feel his phone vibrating in his coat pocket. He ...
Today’s your last day in this room and I figured I’d write you a letter. It’s not a good bye letter. It’s a “see you to the top” type of letter. I gave you all the tools you need for your journey. Remember all the amazing experiences you have stumbled upon. Always look for the good in others. Don’t stop being who you are ever. The Gods created only one of you and you would be cheating yourself if you didn’t recognize your inner beauty.
As I sit here in your room, Its astonishing to see all your trophies. I see some photos of you from elementary and I can’t believe how much you have grown. All the back and forth football practices paid off. Those were the cherished moments...
It’s one of those moments where life throws a curve ball at you. All that I knew is out the door and I feel as if I started back from where I was. Today is one of those moments...
I feel so lost among the darkness. Everything around me was gloomy and the sadness was thick. I have every dark shadow chasing after me. I run faster and faster. The path seems to become farther and farther away as I get closer. I reach out my hand asking for my angels, the Gods, the saints, anyone for their assistance. My heart is pounding harder and harder. The air in my lungs struggle. My eyes are drowning in its own tears. The shadows call me by my name. The name I used to go by. I haven’t heard that name for ...
I decided to write about the great hero in my life, my son.
I loss him 5 years ago in an accident. A great kid who was attending college and an extremely active student in sports.
My pain hides well by the smile, the perfect updo, the great conversation, and the soft spoken voice.
In the present moment, he is the reason I got this far alive. Death seems to be something that is never never spoken aloud and anyone can lose themselves in the crowd of shadows.
Yet our memories are what keeps us going. Pictures of pure bliss in every photo.
A smile that everyone remembered him by. I compare his smile to mines to when I had first held him in my arms at the hospital.
Nothing was going on in his life. He felt lost as he stared out of his window, overlooking the city. He let out a big sigh as he closed the window. He grabs his bag and puts on his hat. As he walks through the door, he looks around the room one last time before he closes the door.
At least that’s how Christina’s mind imagined it. She imagined him grabbing all his belongings and walking out on everything he once knew. He left behind a list of unresponsive voicemails, unread text messages, unanswered questions, his untouched bedroom, the billions of photos plastered on the walls, and no last words.
That devastating day, Christina found out Victor was called back home. Chills ran down her ne...
Nothing was going on in his life. He felt lost as he stared out of his window, overlooking the city. He let out a big sigh as he closed the window. He grabs his bag and puts on his hat. As he walks through the door, he looks around the room one more time before he closes the door.
This was going to be the last time, Victor would ever step into this house where he was brought up in. He walked in and out of every room making sure nothing was left. His parents occupied this space for 45 years and now he was handing over the keys to the realtor. He was dreading before shutting the front door if this was something he was ready for. He stopped to replay all his childhood memories. The family dinn...
Happy Birthday, Destina
It’s another great year where we get to celebrate your birthday. I can’t thank you enough for being the strong beautiful woman you are and it’s a beautiful thing to be a part of your world. I am so proud of you. No matter where your path starts or ends, I will always be there. May you be blessed today and so forth. I love you!!!
It’s a bit difficult to recover from a situation knowing you had no choices. No choices for the individual who passed away and no choices for the individual who mourns. We know nothing when it comes to death. The individuals who pass on leave on terms that is between themselves and the universe. For those who are left behind are bound to the horrific terms of grief until they fully accept it.
But in the end, this is life. We come to teach and learn from one another. The bigger picture is appreciating what was and to continue down our journey.
I never thought that I would ever lose my 18 year old son that day.
Now, I see my 17 year old hovering over his brother’s grave. Crying in silent ...
Life wasn’t easy for her. Everything was always a struggle. She stared at the stars as she was lying in the grass and a tear rolled down her cheek. Every star in the sky symbolized a loved one she had lost. It was her only way of communication to them.
She always said, “the stars talk to me.” Having said that, it was her way of coping with her reality without the stars in her life anymore.
Day 1 @ 7:45am. I’m so not ready for this trip. From what I heard, this trip is going to uplift me. Smh! I will have to see about that.
@ 8:45am, the trip usually takes about two hours. We have another hour to go. It’s unbelievable the amount of time I have spent in this vehicle. Literally with a bunch of strangers. Ugh! To me, it’s a bit much when I hardly communicate. Thank goodness I brought a good book with which I intend on losing myself in.
@ 10:00am, finally made it. A bit late from the schedule we wrote down on paper. Just great! The campsite is crowded. Ugh! I need to figure out a way to stay faraway from everyone. I was only going because a friend said this would help me in so...
It's the part of life that drives everyone nearly close to the edge. You participate in the event of saying goodbye to a loved one who passed on. Their things become your prize possessions. It's the only connection you have with them. It's the mental thought of wearing their shirt, sitting on their bed, listening to their music, looking at pictures, cuddling up with their favorite blanket, and listening to their voices from old videos. You lose yourself in the moment. Then sadness starts to settle in around you. You start to experience this excruciating pain that strikes through your heart. Fear grabs you by the throat and you panic. Their presence being gone starts to take a toll on you. Y...
She was a great book you couldn’t help but to read. Her adventures were interesting and spontaneous by the minute. Just by looking at her necklace, you could see she admired the color purple.
The color purple was a way of life for her. It signified a young girl who grew up to become mysterious, independent, and full of magic.
Some whispered the energy and courage she carried was similar as to the traits of a bear. Those traits played an important part to her existence.
The power behind the universe staged her as a child who lives in her dreams. As so, she was called Dreamy from that day forward. Dreamy was a product of two angels with phenomenal hidden powers and an abundance of love. ...
I can’t seem to find the lost me among the rubbish. I saw what I was capable of in that quick glimpse and I was disappointed at who she became. This wasn’t her anymore. She no longer had the light within her that brightened up everyone’s life. In fact, that light blew out a long time ago. She feels hopeless and doesn’t feel she puts enough in.
She is lost among the rubbish.
She talks everyday about throwing in the towel. But she knows she has a few awesome people that depend on her existence. She has no idea where to start back up from where she left off.
She is lost among the rubbish.
I decided to start clearing some old energy and started with the basement. I stumbled upon a dusty old box which was labeled old photo albums.
I had no idea what this box had in it. As soon as I opened up the box, I saw a journal on top from when she was in her mid twenties. I grabbed it and went upstairs to the bedroom. I right away found a cozy spot on the bed. I put the book on my lap. I opened it and I saw the first line that read, “I’m trapped within this space.” I closed the book super quickly. I thought to myself. Do I really want to read this? Am I ready for this? She was always this amazing writer and you can feel her emotions through her words. We all saw it as she...
Wolves are powerful animals who believe running in packs can secure the group and fighting for rank among the pack is a vital importance. In history, It is said the human race transitioned from apes and we share similar mentalities as the animals.
The wolves were her life. She was with them any free moment she had.
And they were always right there, waiting for her. One day she woke up with a weird feeling. Some thing wasn’t right. She ran to the wolves and...
Was told someone wanted to challenge her for her spot in the group. She refused to be a part of that circus act and cruelty. So they decided to walk away from her and let her fend for herself. She left that day with her head to the g...
His soul was so powerful. He took me to the highest mountains without me worrying about climbing.
I sat in the empty drive way with a bottle in my hand. My eyes were filled with tears. My heart was splattered all over the alley. This alley was the route he would take to go to school. I could still hear his voice, “bye mom.”
Every minute for me was a minute I knew I no longer would have with him. I saw the alley as a portal. Him walking away from everything and everyone he once knew. It was a path to his new journey. The heartbreaking part was he never looked back. He has a heavy load to carry. Not only does he have his soul but my soul as well. He must’ve not realized My soul snuck in when...
He said, “I miss when life was simple.” I’m unsure what he meant by it. Life was simple for him since he saw life through his 6 year old eyes. He was into playing soldiers and creating make believe battles. While I was actually fighting real battles of my own.
He reminded me of how much I missed out on having an imagination. He showed me the creativity a human soul was capable of possessing.
Children our the gateway.
You are never really prepared when it boils down to someone’s last words. Someone’s last presence. Someone’s last breath. The breath you wish you could give back to make them whole again. We never really function the same after a tragedy like that. Instead we place ourselves in a glass container and isolate ourselves. For the fear that we will crumble to pieces if someone were to touch or look at us. It’s that emptiness as if we were stripped of all our medals during the collection along the way. You keep replaying the same moment over and over. Edit, rewrite, play back again. Analyzing the conversation to see if there was any substance to what that someone was trying to vocalize to you. Did...
The teapot was left on the stove as it was whistling away. She asked if I would like a cup of tea and I politely mumbled yes please. I decided on the tea as opposed to the cards. She handed me my cup and sat opposite of me from the table. Incenses burning in the back. There was a warm feeling in the air.
She said to sip it and whatever was left would tell me my present and future. I told her I prefer not hear about the future nor my present but the past was my curiosity. She looked at me in a way of confusion. She asked “why”? I said, “there’s unfinished business left undone and without those answers, I just could not move forward with my life.”
I drank the tea and she took my cup. She e...
It was my birthday gift to myself. I called him Journey.
He was a Siberian white husky with beautiful blue eyes. He laid on the floor towards this old bench they had in the room. He had one paw on top of the another. His mind seemed to be somewhere else. He looked down as if he had nothing to show. I thought about calling him blue eyes but that seemed to practical. The name came to me when I was looking around in the room. For some reason, Right away we exchanged energies. He was breath taking. Almost all the rest of the dogs were being adopted but him. I knew he had a story behind him. He was an older dog. Coming from experience that I have seen, people never choose the...
I never thought I’d be where I'm at today. How quickly people can be taken away and switch up the rules to the game. Left with nothing but scattered pieces. Communication is broken down. The unsaid can hold so much power but if it isn't communicated it's value isn't worth anything. My heart is broken and no one will ever know what could've been saved. All I have is to walk down that journey while my soul will always look back and wonder what coulda. Until then....
Im so speechless right now. I could feel my throat tightening up. It happens when I'm ready to cry, Im ready to give it all up to get back the moment right before he left on his new journey.
My mind is in another world, and my heart is beating so fast. It's the same beats juju felt right before he died. I'm trying to convince myself I have a mission down here but everytime i think of him not being here, I hear my ego whispering, “I can't do it without him.” At that very second, I revert back to my old ways.
Death is life. It’s basically leaving one place to go to another.
I love you juju.
My dream job.
I can honestly say I already have a dream job and that’s being a mother to my three beautiful amazing kids. My kids and I are just souls who so happened to travel together and seem to find one another time after time. It was in our DNA and on our map to meet up at a certain destination. We have this amazing vibe that can never be destroyed because the love we hold for one another.
It’s magical how a woman can carry a little version of two souls energies that collided to create them. The joy and the adventure that goes behind the scenes of raising them. I cannot express how much it’s meant to me to be a mother to them. They just mean the world to me.
Although my oldest sons...
Her many stories were created from chaos and a ton of heart aches. She wanted more from life and life kept molding her into a fighter. Her stories were so good that he bottled it all up into a book. It was her book of life. She packed the last of her things and decided enough. No more dancing with the thought of where she thought she should be. So without thought, she closed the door to the forever that was promised. She secured her back pack on and took the first train to nowhere.
Life is meant to be lived and sometimes we need reminders that tomorrow isn’t promised.
It was written somewhere along her journey with the words dispersed between moments. It was said to be in the “palm of her hands.”
Her soul did a search and rescue plenty of times throughout her life and always came up empty handed. She was told as a little girl she was different from the rest. She ran with luck at the tip of her toes and the cleverness of her tongue. Her powers ran from generation to generation.
However this power was far greater than what was passed down. This power that followed her had to be earned. She had to fight for it like how her mother fought to keep her alive.
Although she was in so much denial, she had to want to find herself. In which findi...