|awkward, simple, adapt reading, love to write thoughts, drum enthusiast, love to play guitar, frustrated singer, introvert, music is my best buddy.|
Hindi naman kita tinutulak o tinulak palayo. Hanggang saan mo daldalhin sa isip mo na ako ang lumalayo? Hindi ba ikaw ang umalis? Sa pag balik mo, expect mo ba na may red carpet or pa welcome ako? Gustong-gusto ko gawin yun. Dahil sabik na sabik ako sa'yo. Sana wag mo masamain ang pag aalinlangan ko.
Hindi ko mailahad ang tunay na nadarama para sa'yo dahil sa takot na muling mapaluha mo ang aking puso. Sa Pangatlong beses na pagbabalik mo, muli mong sinubukan at nag iwan ng mga salitang gusto kong pagkatiwalaan... "patawad sa mga pag kukulang ko, at kung may pagkakataon gusto ko muling mapalapit sa'yo". Hindi ko na sabi sa'yo na matagal ko ng napatawad ang nagawa mo dahil gusto ko makita kung ano ang tunay na pakay ng mga salitang binitwan mo.
Muli mo bang ibibitin ang huling pag-asa na meron tayo dahil hindi ka ulit sigurado? O iyong napagtanto na ako'y di na gusto kaya unti-unti ka muling naglalaho?
Hindi pa ba sapat ang tiwala na inilalatag ko sa bawat pag lapit mo upang masabi sa sar...
Sabi mo gusto mo bumalik tayong dalawa sa dati... tinanong mo ba ko kung bakit di ako pumayag? Pwede naman e... kaso ramdam ko, ako lang yung babalik. Dahil dama ko sa TAYO hindi lang AKO yung kasama mo.
"Na'san yung DATING TAYO dun?"...
Morning thought... "The Choice"
She said "alam ko temporary lang sila. Temporary lang yung happiness",
"ikaw ang biggest nightmare ko kapag nawala ka",
"hindi ko na makita sarili ko sa'yo",
"tatanggapin ko na lang kung mag sisisi ako dahil nawala ka sa akin"...
Sa mga salitang 'to mas napapatunayan ko na hindi sapat ang mahal ka lang. Kung hindi ikaw ang choice kahit ano pang pagmamahal meron siya sa'yo in the end makakabitaw at makakabitaw siya dahil hindi ikaw ang CHOICE.
Sabi nung beauty queen sa napanood kong interview "success follows after love"... sabi ko naman "love follows after commitment". Kung pinili mo ang isang tao o bagay, eventually lalabas ang pagmamahal mo dito. There...
Midnight thoughts came from the past... haunted past!
Sabi saknya "try mo ulit makipag holding hands sknya, subukan mong balikan yung kayo noon habang naka pikit ka." Sagot niya "paano kaya noh? Mabanggit ko yung name ni ----, magkatunog pa naman." If she doesn't feel any affection from that "holding hands" she won't think that way. Like getting to the point of confuse and doubt about her feelings for me between that girl. 😊 Biglang pumasok sa isip ko. Muntik masira gabi ko.
Second thought... so ganun siya ka enjoy makipag holding hands to the point na naipagpalit lahat ng meron kami? Kaya pala sabi niya noon "naiipit ako sa mga bagay-bagay. Alam mo namang marupok ako". Oh well! There you g...
Pumasok ka na naman sa isip ko ng walang paalam. Pero syempre di mo rin alam.
May mga oras na maiisip ko kung ano ba talaga ang totoong nangyari sa atin kung bakit na hantong tayo sa hiwalayan... na iisip ko na kasalanan ko.
Pero pag mas lalaliman ko ang paghahanap sa sagot mapupunta ako sa hindi ko naman kasalanan lahat. Iniisip ko, mood ground mo ko, mood ground kita. Yun ang alam natin. Sinubukan naman natin parehas maging maayos para sa isa't isa. Alam ko maraming beses mo rin sinubukan maging maayos tayo. Na iisip ko lahat yon. Yung mga panahon na nilalambing mo ako, tapos itataboy kita. Somehow nakakasisi. Ang tanong sa isip ko ngayon... sa mga oras na yon, naitanong mo k...
Nakita kita. Masaya ako.
Kaso hanggang dun lang yon. Pero okay lang. At least nakita ko masaya ka rin kahit di man ako ang dahilan. Ang importante masaya ka. Kasi yun din naman ang hanggad ko para sa'yo. Kaya naman masaya na rin ako.
Napagod ka. Sumuko ako.
Akala ko ba nagkaintindihan tayo,
Na kakapit ka hanggang dulo,
Na kakayanin ko ang pag subok ng mundo?
Mali ka. Mali rin ako.
Tama pa bang itama ito,
O tama na kasi pagod na tayo?
Di ko alam anong nangyari. Sinubukang balikan ang nakaraang tila walang bahid ng pag babadya sa iyong tunay na nadarama. Aking napag tanto noon pa man tayo'y muntik nang magkalayo. Sa unang pangyayaring iyon, parehas tayong hindi alam ang totoong nadarama sa sitwasyong nakalatag atin pa ring sinundan tibok ng mga puso; papalapit sa isa't isa upang balikan at muling tikman ang unang tamis ng ating mga labi. Subalit kasunod nito ay pagharap sa pait na magbibigay rason upang ipabatid na lahat ng tamis ay may kalakip na pait.
Apat na buwan bago ang ating ika- limang anebersaryo tayo ay nag desisyon na wakasan ang ating kwento. Sa mga panahong lumipas bago ang wakas na ito ay parehas nating ikin...
It was July 18, 2019 when I first wrote this to her.
I just wanted to share it here and be my last hope or memory of us. July 23, 2019 supposed to be our 56th month anniversary but chose to ended up our story because of long-term-mis-communication. 😔
Pasensya ka na kung pinipilit ko hingin oras mo. Matagal tagal na panahon na rin simula nung itinabi mo ko. For the last time gusto ko lang maramdaman na pinili mo ko... kaso hindi nangyari. Siguro need ko ma tegi o maaksidente o kung ano pa man para maramdaman ko na priority mo ulit ako. Sa mga panahong kinakailangan kita, busy ka or stressed ka. Wala akong ibang pag babalingan kundi cellphone na feeling mo ay pagsasantabi ko rin sa panahon na...
If You Die In Darkness
You fly, fly, and fly as high as you can
no where to run
but hide in fear
living in despair and sorrow
empty mind running around
never think how to find way out
seeing light but not reaches the sky
never imagine what the dark could bring
seems runnin' out of time
truth is time won't mind
then hope still a dream,
like dying over and over
but never started to live
trying to disappear,
heart still know how to fight
though knowing one day I'll be alone
and I have to wait it out.
We see each other today. She went in my house and we watch a movie together. I cooked for our simple dinner. We chat and ask how was yesterday goin'... everything seems fine. We laugh, tease each other, say sweet words. Glad we're good! But then silence came, we stare at each other while smiling... then she says "its kinda' hard...." "I feel that you're not happy with me and I don't know what now...". My hope turns into a question again. "Are we okay"? Now I'm kinda' bothered again. Does she still have a doubt? No hope or has a lot of questions about us? Lots of "what if?"... I know she still love me still wanted to hold on but didn't know how.
I won't lose hope.
She will be fine. I...
Hmmm... still hanging, worried... don't know if we are okay. We're talking. Hmmm... joking around... like fresh couples. Somehow I feel the distance... the gap between us like a fault line that any moment earthquake can ruin us. I'm scared. Of course I don't wanna lose her. I don't want to end us. This is just the beginning. I hope she's with me, fighting and do all the best and get through this. And I want her to hear me....
Hey babe. : ) I just want you to know that I'm still here loving you and willing to help you. I know you're a bit lost, off track, searching for your self I hope you didn't forget that I'm yours whatever trials may come to your life and to our relations...
I just wanted to write again because I am really sad. I feel like hanging by words. By promises. I know this feeling... of hope that everything with us is fine. Promises that says "I will never leave you, because I love you." But then theres a moment that you are at ease because you know there is light between you and your love then suddenly you get strike by a words of defeat.
I know this case... when your partner says with a doubt "can we still fix us?". For the second time I feel pain of a broken heart but this time holding and believing no moving on yet. And its hard like a dust that anytime can be blown out by the wind. 💔
I forgot to write the other day 'cause I'm with her fixing us. I just got home today and still thinking of her. We are okay now hopefully this time we are really in good shape. Kinda' missing something. I miss everything we had when we are in courting status. I miss her telling me that she always love me. That she miss me. I miss all the happy memories and excitement from each other.
I shuddered with excitement when I read some of her texts way back when we reached our 2nd month. All the words she said still have an impact. I still feel love. I don't know but I feel something is missing. Maybe because our relationship grows... undergo in a hard situation. Still trying to patch things...
I decided to write virtually everything I feel when I'm sad and hurt. Most of us didn't know that writing thoughts can help ease out pains, anger, or not only bad emotions even being happy, a letter is a good way to release.
I decided to write tonight 'cause I feel something weird with my partner. We celebrated out 8th month yesterday and we definitely enjoyed our day and nothing seems wrong until we are about to separate ways, her actions seems confusing... disturbing? It really bothers me.
Until tonight we met again I can see through her gestures that there's something wrong. I asked her what is it? she replied "nothing"... of course I know there is so I asked again, she says it's...
Pain... that's what I feel tonight. Too painful to think for a good introduction or make this letter interesting. I just wanted to right/type what I feel.
Pain inside but empty thoughts to find a solution. Whenever I'm sad, I can't help but cry specially when I'm alone. I know I am not weak but all I can do is to cry... to ease all out the pain. I guess that's what people mostly do when they are in pain.
I feel non sense. I feel useless. I feel like I am nothing at all. Nothing because I made a mistake. A sayings define it as "one mistake can ruin everything...".
Maybe it was just a misunderstanding or judgements because of anger why everything ended up nothing.
It happens... We have ...
Without the help of criticism from your friends or person/s you expect that could understand you, you'll never know that you can do something better. ...the people who believes in your capabilities from the start knows, but chose to degrade, underestimate and hurt you to make you realize your true value within yourself. Never feel disappointed from failure. Eveybody commit mistakes and has the chance to improve.
I do now believe in myself. Mabuhay! :)
maraming salamat sa tulong na binigay niyo sken ngayong gabi. Isang malaking pag gising sa akin yung mga sinabi niyo. Palagi ko ng naririnig ang pagiging negative ko lalo na pag dating sa kakayahan ko I see how all of you appreciate music. That's what I want. Sinabi ko lang senyo yung ugaling meron ako kung paano ko tignan yung sarili ko.
I got disappointed somehow 'cause I thought all of you would understand what am I struggling with myself. Saludo ako senyo dahil kilala niyo na sarili niyo. I know that confidence and self-esteem is still missing within me. Ilang beses ko nang naririnig ang negatives comments sken pero hindi ko ma absorb but this time it's different. Tumagos sa ...
Sometimes all we have to do is to keep your eyes closed, feel the silence, think something that could make you feel free then relax. That's me right now. I can't help but write thoughts about how I feel. I feel lonely again because of the people around me seems uncomfortable with me, I have no idea where I went wrong. What's wrong with me? Maybe it's not me...?
Hello Daisuke Sato,
I started to watch H.O.T.D (Highschool of the Dead) I think one year ago then started it over this week 'cause I'm expecting that season 2 would be release this year month of September but it was so disappointing. No new season had release. :( I read some information about the next season and I'm afraid of the possibilities that there would be no chance to continue it. Please whatever the real reason behind it H.O.T.D fans were still hoping for the next season. It is one of the awesome japanese manga series. More powers.
My mom asked me to play guitar and sing her a song. While I'm singing my tears fell and for the first time I feel the soul of the song, my favorite "Heart Like Yours", with my own heart, my own voice. It's weird. I didn't.expect crying while singing (but I did not let her hear it). I don't know if she feels the same 'cause she sniffed, her voice was like trembling after I sing. Maybe we just miss each other.
Love you ma.
LDR of mother and daughter.
Wideawake. Mind's travelling. Thinking nowhere. Life sometimes is really hard to read. Creating happiness is sometimes complicated. Satisfaction seems rare. So where am I? F*ck that!
I caught you. I ran after you.
You told me you're confused.
I told you "I still love you."
You replied "I don't".
I stopped chasing you.
You asked for another chance.
I asked "why"?
You replied "I miss you."
I asked you "why"?
You replied "I just miss you."
I asked you "why"?
You replied "I miss everything we had."
I asked you "how"? Then you cried.
I asked you again "why? ...why now"? Because I'm over you. I'm done with you. I don't love you.
The winter is over,
Breeze still around
Combined notes surrounds the silence
Broken chords flows by its tune
Drumbeat follow its rhythm
Melody of emotion completes the missing chord
The innocent soul of music use its own power to heal.
My heart cries for this song. I chose the best parts of the song that describes how I feel at this moment.
The moment you closed the door, my eyes washed the floors.
Wondering what went wrong
There goes all hope but the feelings tries to escape
Bleeds through the light even when I close my eyes
There seems to be no other way
What I'm crying for?
I wanna know, do you feel anything as you go on your way
I wanna know, do you feel anything for me...
Is there anything you like to say before I, before I go forever...
Need to clear the air.
Begun to scratch the surface after escaping from a grey area and get the ball rolling without losing battle; to give someone a boot. When it comes to the crunch it's time to wake up and smell the coffee.
Feel lost, found you.
Feel happy, your mad.
Feel alone, you were there.
Feel comfortable, you become elusive
Want to escape, your holding me ...I can stay if you want me to, but please be true.