|"No GOODBYE. Just, I'll SEE YOU SOON then." Instagram : @louist_louist Twitter : @louist_m|
On being a daughter,
It's okay to be quiet. It's okay not to share all. But your Mom is one of the greatest walls a daughter could ever have. Somebody who will always be willing to take all the blows than to see you hurting. So open up. Tell her your truths. Tell her what's inside. She needs an assurance that more than providing your needs, she also knows what you feel, how's your day going, who you met, did you make friends. Because more than the material things she gives, what makes her your Mom is when she considers what and how you feel and acting on it like a best friend you always dreamt to have.
On being a sister,
Remember when I told you how your little sister gets jealous of th...
For we didn't realize,
After the million years we patronize,
The selfish intentions
The world population was baptized.
Today is the prolonged agony,
The cries of melancholy,
The thirst for rescue,
When nature draw its due.
No gun to fire,
No shield to hire,
No retreat to shout,
Because the time is out.
So destructive it is seen,
The shaking of the plates no one knows whose within,
When all that stood are on zero ground,
That's when people shout,
"I AM FOULED".
Thenk you for being my rescue when I am so wounded and bleeding non stop.
Thank you for coming when my eyes are tired from witnessing all the pain and angst of the world.
Thank you for never leaving me when no one's there.
You are the best personification of MYSELF .
" She TRIED to be. But she's a mere INVESTMENT that they await to harvest. "
Time flew so fast. She has already pass through the stages when parents worry about their daughters.
She earned her degree.
Managed to have a focus where she wants to be and what she wants to be.
Determined to do what she loves to.
Privileged to keep and be kept by few who loved her since the beggining.
But, it is not what she puts herself into that hurt her, drain her, empty her, take away every bit of emotion that is left inside her. It is that single person she has always loved and wanted to at least see her. One of the very reasons why she gave all her best to somehow meet PERFECTION half way.
She knows ...
And if by chance he thinks that being a STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN is a problem he has to deal every day with you, he must be a fool. A selfish idiot who doesn't have the right to keep you.
I don't know if everyone does.
But I love the NIGHT TIME.
I don't have to make any excuses
to occupy my own space,
to own my time,
to keep myself away from everyone.
I have all the privilege
to ponder what happened yesterday and what's next in line,
to compose myself and recharge.
I have all the courage to accept that the world is a chaos and it's okay to battle and lose at times but never to lose MYSELF.
When you are on your 23rd but it feels like you have lived for 101 years.
They tell you it will all be alright.
They tell you it will all shall pass.
They tell you, "you can do it".
And I tell you,
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE."
I have never known how to rant but there are a lot of corrupt people around that doesn't deserve where they are at, what they hold on to as a title, how they manipulate the variables and throw all the struggles to people who deserve to harvest the fruits of their labours rather than waking up each day carrying the heavy loads in their shoulders.
It is NOT easy. Maybe, it will never be. No matter how intelligent a professional is. No matter how strong an individual is. No matter how considerate a son or a daughter is.
Truth is, we live in a world of SURVIVAL. A world where there is no bigger truth than witnessing all the corrupt practices and lies, swallowing them, living with them. Thus,...
How melancholic it is to finally dawn into a reality that though you make everyone feel okay, lead them to all the positivity, ask them how they are doing every day, you end up alone taking all the blows without them knowing that you are a strong fragile wall they always lean on.
The silhouette of the past helped them grow and be strong,
The calm sound of the water nearby taught them to stay silent in the middle of the loudest screams of life's nightmares,
The freshness of air took them in places they learned to breath despite of the spoiled smell of reality,
Nature taught them that to truly LIVE is to see and accept the UGLY TRUTHS and the BEAUTY that they bring.
"It was too much. It simply was too much. She told herself. She curled up into a ball when the door opened.... and find the same face again. But she was certain... Her heart is ready not to keep an old fire anymore. Her turning point is the very moment of that silence she was able to enjoy. And the time of her life is today and tomorrow."
Wear your crown with pride.
Wear it though it has some cracks, wear it though it has some broken parts, wear it despite and inspite all the althoughs.
Because you are your own QUEEN. Not somebody else's PRINCESS.
You should not follow orders.
They have to follow your rules.
It may sound ego centric but it helps you build what you've LOST for LOVING and GIVING too much.
Today, while inside His house I have decided to love myself more and make my dreams come true.
For I am responsible of my choices no matter how unsure I may be of my chances.
It's tiring to live with what others expect you to be. It's tiring to follow a to-do list. It's tiring to be somebody else's repair shop.
I will pursue what I want to LIVE for.
I might cry at times with my choices but I will not regret making them and taking all the risk to make them happen.
And as you cling to that hope of coming home to your OLD HOME, she HOLDS the hope of building a NEW HOME wherein you are no longer part of it. Not anymore.
You feel shattered to find out about it. But she is tough to show you she means it.
You feel miserable knowing she's happy of her judgments. But she feels proud of it. You feel capable of bringing back the old fire, the light that used to help you see your shadows next to each other. She feels capable of walking alone in the dark.
That is what YOU MADE when you chose to LET HER DOWN.
"Sometimes, no matter how many times we regret things, we can't fix what was broken. No matter how many rides or mode of transportation we take to come h...
We have always wanted people or somebody to love us, to be there for us, to keep us. But, we have always been the best in pushing them away.
To let them down and give them disappointments aren't enough reasons for them to give up on us. It is those trying moments they are next to us but we still feel alone that hurt them. It is those tiring moments we say we can't do it anymore when they have always been there to cheer us up that hurt them. It is those uncontrollable moments we needed them and they will rush to see or talk to us though they are in the middle of something important yet, we say no one understand us, it hurt them. It is those intolerable times we walk away from them when all t...
I comfort vents.
I evaluate rants.
I see pain.
I show kindness.
I give love.
That's how - at the very least, I know why, when, to whom, what and how to be HUMAN.
I want you to have it, feel it and keep it, just as how you deserve it, just as how we all deserve it.
Love, no matter in what context we find it must not be abusive. Must not be consuming. Must not be something that makes you face palm when you think of it.
Her instinct works better than a fortune teller's LIE,
Her wit works better than an aged philosopher who THEORIZE,
Her heart works better than a witch TRICK,
And that you should know that she knows and feels when you LIE, THEORIZE and TRICK.
She's ALONE but not LONELY.
Her INDIVIDUALITY doesn't define her VULNERABILITY.
And her stand to being SINGULAR is a choice EVERY DAY that makes her HAPPY.
So, don't make your move...
She doesn't buy compliments because she knows her truths.
She doesn't buy verbose tongues because she knows what makes her beautiful.
She doesn't buy beautiful faces and posted curves because she has her list of definitions and standards.
" Every woman must SEE and learn to LIVE that INTELLIGENCE is SEXY, BEAUTIFUL and STRONG. "
Did it take one broken promise or a set of redundant disappointments, absence and pain that weren't discussed?
I know she had enough...
Of the days I take her for granted.
Of the days I don't see her.
Of the days I make her feel less.
Of the days I feel insecure.
Of that day I broke a single promise.
I'm not sure what to say and do but I have always wanted to tell her...
" Don't give up on me yet. Confront me. Tell me your angst. Tell me your pain. Hate me. But don't give up on me.
I need you to be there while I make my dreams come true. I need you to be there while I untie my hands and feet from the chains that bind me in a parade of responsibilities and obligations I don't deserv...
I wasn't lonely being alone,
I wasn't dead because of a busy sched,
I wasn't scared for I am weird,
And I know that I've never been any happier knowing that I was and am ALIVE when I'm with you despite of my alone, busy and weird,
I may just have to wait for our moments to come and our paths to traverse just how they always do.
There is no second thought.
Indeed, it is either the Friday Nights or Saturday Nights that are the best.
We've actually came to the point of our lives that there is no greater love...
but to accept that we are growing old and life may not be the same just how we left it 4 or 5 or 6 years ago,
but to appreciate more the little moments and not bother that our time is due on the next round,
but to give even the last centavo in our pocket just to extend the familiar annoyingly-happy sound in the background,
but to take every moment inside us that we will always live for and with.
I'd live and die with all these buts because I know I have found the kind of friendship that is worth all ...
To my friends I was not aware I left behind while I was busy trying to build my life...
I'm sorry I wasn't able to always say Hi, to make a sound in your inbox asking you how's your day been, to post our memories on fb when they make noise in my notification box.
I'm sorry I wasn't there to witness your special occassions, to make a phone call or a video call to tell you how happy and proud I am for all your success.
I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me most, when you were alone and crying, when you want to talk, when you want to scream, when you need somebody you can rely on.
I'm sorry that you still have to consider me as a part of you no matter how many times I hurt you.
I was busy trying to figure out my life. I was busy working on my pains. I was busy proving myself. 'Til this morning somebody made me realize that while I was busy making myself better, I was slowly leaving people behind, I unintentionally hurt them with the thought that it is okay to leave because I am a no good friend for everyone to keep.
" I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for letting you cry alone. I'm sorry I wasn't there to at least be your Sergeant when you have always been my Army. And I'm sorry that no matter how many times I leave you or disappoint you, you love me just the same."
In the now is the brightest shine of their eyes,
The unfamiliar curves that were caused from afar,
The chills from the words sent from the other side of the arch,
And the hope, that despite the WIN or LOSE concept there is something extraordinary sweet and different that may happen IN TIME.
Strange it may seem to have a coincidence of virtually meeting an unfamiliar yet exciting thought of a daydream.
Strange, it feels to meet eye to eye in a distant reality for a hope of something to last but can settle for something to be kept.
Strange, a word used to scare but is now a part of how to live today.
Strange, to hope for the BEST things for a STRANGER she met along the way.
Strange, a word added to her vocabulary with her own meaning not known to any.
"At bibilangin ko sa daliri ko kung sino ang mahalaga at dapat iyakan. Bilangin mo sa hangin at hagilapin kung may iilan para sa'yo na handang mamatay."
Sometimes, the only thing we are left to say is, "I LOVE YOU". And it is the million little things that come together when they hear it.