|"No GOODBYE. Just, I'll SEE YOU SOON then." Instagram : @louist_louist|
She chooses all the can't.
She did all the didn't.
She laughed all the sad.
She displayed all the not.
I still want to open a coffee shop with the smell of brewed coffee, books and diverse unplanned random thoughts in OUR names.
I still want you to have your room to crash in, when I start to build my house.
I still want to plan your entourage and reception when you get married.
I still want to be the second Mom of your kids.
I still want to go back in time with these historical places in the world I promised to visit with you.
Because nothing changed.
I didn't changed.
I still want all the things I've dreamt to come true WITH YOU - SOMEDAY.
You'll get through this.
You'll make your dreams come true.
They will see you.
They will be proud of you.
They will love you.
When that day comes, stay the YOU in day one.
She needed that.
A soothing hug.
A little gesture of affection.
An unexpected home.
She's so fragile.
She needed to cling to her.
She's so strong.
She needed to stand for her at some point.
Though she and her, are a different version.
She could somehow tell her parents to be proud of their daughter because she is LOVED by some BEAUTIFUL STRANGERS. And indeed, one of the best TEACHERS.
Been a very long time.
It started to be a routine since being INDEPENDENT is a MUST.
We can't meet the same people twice. That's why we have to SEE and APPRECIATE them in DAY ONE.
Sometimes, we have to meet a STRANGER to see that person who was long GONE.
She's not your muse.
She is her own muse.
She's not your wit.
She's her own wit.
She's not your pumpin' blood.
She is her own pumpin' blood.
She is WHO and WHAT she is on her OWN.
Find your chest of drawers and hide as you grief in your pants greed.
Because no matter what, I will LIVE.
Because you are not ready to correlate with the malfunction of her fragile machinery with the same spot in the lower left of your chest called HEART.
I'm not sad.
I'm just reminiscing.
I'm not alone.
I'm just trying to retrieve my world.
I'm not walking away.
I'm just looking for the things that makes me WHOLE.
I can't compare you of the past.
Of yesterday's laughters and sorrows in my eyes.
My vision of today's blurry.
I can't even find you in my dreams tomorrow.
Dear E and P,
Life is cruel most of the time. It's crazy. It takes you with its flow. It takes you with its chaos. It doesn't give you the satisfaction or the perfect lullaby to comfort you or force you to stop because it would always and must always motivate you to move forward. Not that it requires you to never look back in the past but it will always believe in the thought that we should only look back for those things we've learned a lesson. Maybe we all have regrets. But it is also our duty to categorize each event and situation. Should we throw it away or store it within ourselves?
Kind people doesn't get angry often.
They will always give considerations. They will always try to understand. They will even let others consume their light though it is too much. But when the time finally comes for them that they had enough, it is the saddest and scariest part of those who took advantage and have taken them for granted.
I thought, I'd remember you as a sweet loving memory but you turned me to that person I wanted to forget. That person I buried in my past. That person that is hard to deal with because all she remembers and feels are pain and anger.
As I was looking at my profile, a thought crossed my mind.
"Who and what am I anyway to be kept, valued, appreciated and loved?"
It is a common thing for me to post something on my social media accounts or send messages to let these people know that I value them, I cherish them, I see them, I appreciate them. Maybe that's me letting them know that they are loved.
The sad thing is, most of the time, they don't even react. Maybe they noticed but they either don't want to give compliments or that's just the person they are. Maybe they just don't want to be fake liking it when they actually don't. Or maybe, truth is, you don't matter to them.
For whatever reason they have, that's okay for ...
I need you to save me.
I need you to see me.
I need you to hear me.
I need you to hold me.
I need you to walk with me.
I need you.
And if by chance and choice you'll be able to, I need you to know that someday soon, you'll never have to ask me the same favor when it's your turn because I will, from this day on, devoted to you.
Love, save me.
No matter how much we care, we will end up being left behind at some point.
Maybe the problem is, we give too much.
I wish, we could change that.
But how could we change a heart like that?
A heart that will always choose to care after all the disappointment and pain?
Do not ever stay with somebody who is INSECURE of how KIND and INTELLIGENT you are.
He will kill you softly with INSULTS and HYPOCRISY.
Ego is not paralized if we could be humble enough.
Hey! You should know that...
I'M NOT SORRY.
Because that's what you deserve.
So learn from it.
Sometimes, we have to be tough to teach a lesson.
If only a new year also means being able to remove toxic people around, I'll pray to God to bless me the like E V E R Y D A Y.
I've always wanted to save people from the pain, heartaches and disappointment. But I was wrong for doing so.
Maybe I'm so wrong for caring and loving too much.
And maybe, that's LIFE.
Maybe that's one of the best essence of loving a person. We remember every detail about them.
We have to see ourselves first before we expect people to see us.
That's why I choose to be beautiful and sexy for my self first because that's the least I can do to love ME.