There are some days in life when you just want to be listened to.
No one to judge
No one to suggest
Just a day where someone could sit and listen to what all I say.
I want to laugh..
I want to cry.
I want to talk about all the mistakes I committed..
I want to talk about how I was hurt..
Someone who could just hold me when my hands tremble..
Just a day..
I want to be Listened to.
Days are getting difficult..
Dad's health isn't well these days
He already had a cerebral stroke 7 years back..
Recently his hand started to tremor.
Doctor diagnosed it to be Parkinson's.
Mom is in Australia..
I'm in hostel away from dad.
Hypertension in addition.
Half of the time I'm worried.
Though he is a strong person.. every now and then his hand shivers and it's too difficult to control my tears.
I want to go home soon.
I want to be with him and make sure he isn't getting depressed at any point.
All these years they have taken care of us.
It's time we do our part for our parents.
If there is an other life..
I would pray you were mine
Before someone took you away.
One last time..
I love you.
It's strange that I couldn't find the comfort I had in your love anywhere else..
It's strange that no matter how hard I try I can't hate you..
It's strange even though you were around me for very few days I feel like I know you the most..
It's strange that I feel uncomfortable when you are with someone else..
It's strange to feel that we would have had a great life together..
It's strange to think that we wouldn't be talking anymore in life..
164 days to go
Any book suggestions which would raise self esteem and make me feel good about myself?
Polycystic ovarian syndrome.
It's not just a hormonal disorder.
It eats up a person's mental health too.
I have been a bait of it .
You either don't bleed for months or bleed for weeks together .
Some days you just bloat up for no reason.
A constant raise in weight.
You don't fit into your clothes anymore.
Facial hair makes it worse.
When people call you fat.
Especially when you work your ass out for hours together just to lose few pounds and starve to death.
It's because they don't exactly know what exactly you are going through.
I chopped my hair off because I just couldn't see it thinning.
People ask me various questions regarding my looks these days.
Letting the past out.
Holding onto few bonds.
A new beginning.
A completely different one.
Nothing left to do with the past.
Maybe I can make a better future.
Maybe can make the stone a heart again.
Maybe can feel my senses again.
I want to be happy.
I will try my best to be.
This would be my last try.
Hope it lasts long.
I promised someone I would stop writing.
But then it's high time I speak up.
This letter is completely intended to you because you have character assassinated me..
You laugh at my posts? What else can you do now.
I never wanted to respond but yes.. this is time I do.
So firstly don't get confused over the guy I liked and your so called friend whom you mistook to be the guy I was quoting in my previous posts.
In all my letters I mentioned it very clearly.. saying " D ". Honestly I don't even talk to him. I do admire him but then it's my look out.
I don't go and flirt with him or chat with him. And to my sure notice he is single.
And yes don't get confused with " A "
I guess you are. H...
Dear so called love..
I heard a lot about you recently.
Alot means a lot.
To an extent where I couldn't believe if it was true.
Seems like you are giving people free advices to stay away from me.
Sorry but did I approach you or you did?
People talk people ask.. but then if it's my fault.. it's your fault equally.
Good if you accept that rather than calling me a double faced person.
Not especially when you don't know what I have gone through .
I don't talk about you.. good or bad.. never did I.
I hope you would do the same.
Your double faced love :)
Life feels empty without you.
I feel clueless as to what am I doing.
I have everything but I'm not happy.
I have started to drink.
Something I hated the most .
I drink in pain.
I try to sleep without your thoughts.
I have so many around me who love me so much.
But I'm unable to love.
Life has changed.
It has become worse.
I wish I could ask you to come back.
But know.. it can never happen.
When I used to sleep i used to sleep with a secure feeling.
I lack it now.
I wish to stay with my parents now.
Because I'm scared I'll lose myself if I stay away from you and my family.
Four years is not a less time.
I have been with someone for the same.
In fact few months more than that.
I was mad for him.
My day started with his thoughts and ended with his.
I loved him
More than that I worshiped him.
He was everything to me.
I was quite serious about being with him.
One fine day i told my parents that I want to marry him.
His parents already accepted me.
My parents were equally happy.
We knew it would happen after 4 more years.
I was just thinking about how our 8th anniversary would be.
When we would sit next to each other as he ties three knots around my neck ( our tradition)
But then just a week days after I told my parents.. he broke up.