Let's see if my faith wins over your fear.
Today we are separated by states
And very soon we will be separated by continents.
Whom do you want to?
How does it feel..
Waiting for something
Not knowing if you can get it or not
Just with a ray of hope.
What do we do when unsure?
Risk and go for it even if it could cost us a life time
Complete yet feels incomplete.
Maybe there is more.
Or maybe it's just my blind hope.
One last week.
I don't know what I feel.
All I know is we could have had a good bye atleast.
At some point of my life you were the reason I was happy.
I will always be thankful for it.
You can never be a stranger to me.
I'm going to miss you.
I'm glad as to how I moulded my life.
I suffered depression.
But then I learned how to get over it.
I remember being sad, unhappy and anxious for years.
Today I am stronger.
Nothing has changed in my life.
Everything is same as before but my perception towards it has changed.
Today I find happiness in everything is see
I don't complain.
Even though the circle of people I talk to has reduced I'm happy.
The only right decision I did on the worst night was to choose a correct lifestyle.
And thankfully I feel blessed now.
I wouldn't say I hate it.
This place taught me how to live.
Thousands of memories.
Hundreds of friends.
Few of them the closest.
It taught me how to stand for myself..
It taught me to apologize when wrong.
It accepted me in my best and worst.
I have made friends.. haters too.
But then it taught me how to go on with life.
Made few friends for life and lost many too.
From being a loud teenager to becoming calmest of my years.. I have learned a lot.
I have had the best time but also survived the worst.
Very soon I will be moving out after being here for 5 long years.
Nothing can ever be the way it was here.
Good or bad.. I loved this place.
I will miss it.
Days are getting difficult..
Dad's health isn't well these days
He already had a cerebral stroke 7 years back..
Recently his hand started to tremor.
Doctor diagnosed it to be Parkinson's.
Mom is in Australia..
I'm in hostel away from dad.
Hypertension in addition.
Half of the time I'm worried.
Though he is a strong person.. every now and then his hand shivers and it's too difficult to control my tears.
I want to go home soon.
I want to be with him and make sure he isn't getting depressed at any point.
All these years they have taken care of us.
It's time we do our part for our parents.
If there is an other life..
I would pray you were mine
Before someone took you away.
One last time..
I love you.
It's strange that I couldn't find the comfort I had in your love anywhere else..
It's strange that no matter how hard I try I can't hate you..
It's strange even though you were around me for very few days I feel like I know you the most..
It's strange that I feel uncomfortable when you are with someone else..
It's strange to feel that we would have had a great life together..
It's strange to think that we wouldn't be talking anymore in life..
164 days to go
Any book suggestions which would raise self esteem and make me feel good about myself?
Polycystic ovarian syndrome.
It's not just a hormonal disorder.
It eats up a person's mental health too.
I have been a bait of it .
You either don't bleed for months or bleed for weeks together .
Some days you just bloat up for no reason.
A constant raise in weight.
You don't fit into your clothes anymore.
Facial hair makes it worse.
When people call you fat.
Especially when you work your ass out for hours together just to lose few pounds and starve to death.
It's because they don't exactly know what exactly you are going through.
I chopped my hair off because I just couldn't see it thinning.
People ask me various questions regarding my looks these days.
Letting the past out.
Holding onto few bonds.
A new beginning.
A completely different one.
Nothing left to do with the past.
Maybe I can make a better future.
Maybe can make the stone a heart again.
Maybe can feel my senses again.
I want to be happy.
I will try my best to be.
This would be my last try.
Hope it lasts long.
I promised someone I would stop writing.
But then it's high time I speak up.
This letter is completely intended to you because you have character assassinated me..
You laugh at my posts? What else can you do now.
I never wanted to respond but yes.. this is time I do.
So firstly don't get confused over the guy I liked and your so called friend whom you mistook to be the guy I was quoting in my previous posts.
In all my letters I mentioned it very clearly.. saying " D ". Honestly I don't even talk to him. I do admire him but then it's my look out.
I don't go and flirt with him or chat with him. And to my sure notice he is single.
And yes don't get confused with " A "
I guess you are. H...
Dear so called love..
I heard a lot about you recently.
Alot means a lot.
To an extent where I couldn't believe if it was true.
Seems like you are giving people free advices to stay away from me.
Sorry but did I approach you or you did?
People talk people ask.. but then if it's my fault.. it's your fault equally.
Good if you accept that rather than calling me a double faced person.
Not especially when you don't know what I have gone through .
I don't talk about you.. good or bad.. never did I.
I hope you would do the same.
Your double faced love :)