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LillyBelleJoon

PO# 541738
United States
United States
Single. Grandma of 3. 50yo. Figuring out life after raising my family. Artistically inclined. Athletic.
January 2, 2018
Las Vegas, United States

I hate being set up! Dan set me up with his bff J-Bear. Things would probably have gone smoother had we not been set up. Invite him along and let things develop naturally. Dan tried to set me up with his uncle. He was handsome in his picture. On the phone: "When can we meet? I'll drive over there right now!"
3,000 miles? Are you kidding me? That level of desperation creeped me the "f" out. Spending New Years together at Evy's house...super creepy: he stared at me, tried to walk near me many times, tried to put his arm around me.
No don't take me to pick up my dress. No I don't want to dance with you. No, I don't want to get food with you.
Say something negative under your breath.
Idk what y...

DARK DEPTHS
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December 25, 2017
Garden Grove, United States

Beliefs:
I was born & raised Catholic & I raised my children Catholic because it was such a beautiful part of my childhood. I wanted to pass that beautiful childhood onto my own children. They have chosen their own paths: Catholic, Christian & undecided. My daughter who is Christian has had the biggest influence on the adult I have  become. I don't feel the need to justify my beliefs to anyone, yet others are called to encourage his sheep back to the Lord's flock. God bless them!
If someone believes in God,  and you don't, what do you care? Is calling a believer "stupid, gullible or childish", going to bring people over to your side of the fence? Probably not.
I always allowed my children to...

CHRISTMAS ICON
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December 24, 2017
Garden Grove, United States

It's Christmas Eve & I'm feeling lonely. My family is between 1,000 & 3,000 miles away. I know they love me.
It makes me sad to know
I won't see them this Christmas season. We've planned ahead our Christmas gifts. I could have planned to be with them. Too late.
I miss my Mom & sisters in Florida. Even if I was there it would be awkward. We haven't spent Christmas together in decades with the exception of 1. I felt so out of place. None of my kids were there. They opened mountains of gifts that they had given each other while my gifts seemed like an afterthought: a Starbucks gift card. I can certainly use it but it has no glimpse of my personality...no semblance of me. No thought that remin...

TATTOO IT TO YOU
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December 23, 2017
Garden Grove, United States

I'm such an ass at times :/
Thanksgiving:
I asked Vanessas' 3yo kid to get off his Grandmas brand new $12,000 counter top. He defiantly inched himself farther onto the counter & smiled. Jerk. Vanessa said it was her child & if he needed correcting she would handle it. That was about 50% true.
I knew it was an item of contention. "Maybe you should 'handle' it more often.
Shit spewed out of her mouth:
My shorts were too short. I spent time alone with her Moms boyfriend
[he's a narcissist-gross]...
I went into the garage where I was helping my girlfriend to unpack into her brand new house. The hydraulic door closer made it sound like I slammed the door. I didn't care enough to slam. Her child...

CHRISTMAS ICON
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December 3, 2017
Garden Grove, United States

Friendship???
I was reluctant to post this on social media but decided to share anyway. We'd been work friends for decades but a few months ago the respect factor began to diminish. I thought this person was going through some life challenge & whatever it was would pass [shall remain nameless=SRN]. I brought things to that person's attention. I got an apology but the lack of respect continued. Perhaps I should have taken the time to pray, but I didn't think of it at the time. If I had an opinion, I felt 'punished'
for it. Confronting the issue was fruitless & met with more punishment. I don't understand how to effectively communicate in this manner.
So many dramatic changes in my 2017.
I ha...

TATTOO IT TO YOU
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November 18, 2017
Garden Grove, United States

Inner peace:

When I wake I feel my age which is 51. As soon as warm up my beautiful bones I feel 35-ish.
Once upon a time I sprinted to life with great joy the instant my eyes opened in the morning. I sang beautiful wake-up songs in the mornings to get my family going. They were not fans of my morning glory.
Besides having no family around, the biggest change is my activity level. On my weekdays off, I'd drop the kids off at school, take a dance class or 2, go to the beach to rollerblade or take an exercise class at the gym. I'm hoping to switch my work schedule to days within the next few months. That will give me better exercise opportunities, I think.
Activity brings me joy.

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TATTOO IT TO YOU
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November 13, 2017
Anaheim, United States

I've recently found myself at odds with "friends" who are alcoholics. We've been friends for well over a decade. Why am I attracted to these people to where I allow them so near & dear to my heart. One has hurt me many times until I finally said 'enough'. Another has become an alcoholic over 2 decades. I didn't notice or care until I became the object of their aggression. I believe she teamed up with the 3rd alcoholic in my story,  shared some of my story & influenced each other. Despite the influence or where it came from, I am hurt by each of these 3 individuals.
My question is "how do I attract these friends into my life?"
No one in my family including myself is an alcoholic. I have issue...

I LOVE WRITING DAY
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August 2, 2017
Garden Grove, United States

Dear Lord,
I pray that you come into Andre's heart and make a permanent home there. Please grow his love for you so that a good woman will recognize your presence in his heart & want to do great things for you. Please continue to guide him. I feel you working in Andre's life because he's wanting better people in his life. I love my son, Lord & I know you love him too. Thank you Lord for protecting Andre, all the days of his life from conception until forever... in Jesus' name, amen.

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TATTOO IT TO YOU
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April 7, 2017
Costa Mesa, United States

At times my life seems so completely random. And it is! For example I went to Las Vegas last week with my girlfriend. She flew in from Florida. I flew in from California. Up until a week before that, I had no idea that was going to happen. I had been invited but I didn't see a way. Two days before flying I booked my flights. I've vacationed with Evy before & she usually books every moment of time that we have to maximize our vacation activities. I on the other hand, usually prefer deciding things at the last minute. This trip with Evy was different. We decided as we went along. I was a little pushy about getting my way on several things. One of those things was zip lining over Fremont Street....

TATTOO IT TO YOU
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April 7, 2017
Garden Grove, United States

I should be excited because I have a new job. My new job will facilitate goals I thought about a long time ago but actually committed to paper a year ago.
You see, I've never had goals.
I've always known I wanted kids but I never thought about a timeline. Married at 16. Motherhood at 17. Mother of 2 by 19. Beauty School at 19 just because I needed a way to make a living someday. I had no idea I'd be doing it for over 30 years.
I was so excited to share my newfound passion for my goal with my youngest before she steamrollered right over my enthusiasm with her negativity. I'm so tired of the circular argument where she has a right to her opinion [I agree] & I have the right to be respected. S...

TATTOO IT TO YOU
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March 23, 2017
 

Untruth:
I lied to you and to myself.
Although J-bear & I did not engage in sexual intercourse, we did other things. I later realized it wasn't just the physical activity of copulation that makes me feel connected to a person.
I saw a TV show today where a character stated that upon orgasm, a woman's brain releases oxytocin which causes her to imprint on said man. Although I didn't research  it, I can see at least a grain or 2 of truth in that
possibility.
Desire feels amazing, often more so than the actual physical stuff.
Time spent together, for me, is one of the most bonding  of rituals. Cuddling,  holding hands, long wet sloppy kisses, laughing & walking around Griffith Park Observato...

TATTOO IT TO YOU
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February 24, 2017
 

#Writing about #Writing:

Writing isn't always easy for me.
The ideas flow from my mind faster than I could ever write.  
Besides that, I write everything on my smartphone because I don't have a desktop.

I was gifted a computer which I sold to my sister-in-law. I love that woman!
I'm not complaining...
just saying it takes effort.
I like sharing my life stories on this forum. Anonymity is comforting to me. I often change details to protect others' privacy. I know this is a public forum but please let's respect each other. If you'd like to share my writing please ask...
I'll probably say no.
~Thank you!

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February 21, 2017
Garden Grove, United States

Things I enjoyed about NOT having sex this weekend:

• discovering a 'friends' TRUE nature [ass hole]

• being completely enthralled with a besties'  continued respect, encouragement, admiration, and moral support

• meeting a man who is an amazing lover yet can affectionately respect my boundaries.

• affection & mutually enjoying each others bodies for hours and  days. It's a beautiful kind of 'high'

• leaving with a strong desire for one another

• keeping my heart in stfu mode so my brain can see a much clearer picture.

• not feeling used like a one night stand

• respecting my OWN boundaries  <3

• Memories of my favorite birthday celebration since I was 23

• J-bear, I want you!

•...

TATTOO IT TO YOU
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January 26, 2017
Garden Grove, United States

I had an amazing day today! My friends who are near and dear to me know that I love learning things like construction, wood-turning & woodworking.

As many of you know, years ago I used to volunteer at the Fox Theater in Fullerton for their movie nights, Hollywood in Fullerton, pub crawls et cetera. Many of my family members & friends either volunteered with me or attended fund-raising events there. My friend Patricia, suggested we volunteer for Habitat for Humanity. I wanted to finish with the Fox before moving on to my next endeavor.

After a while the only positions available at the Fox were professional ones such as seismically retrofitting the theater to withstand earthquakes, plumbing,...

TATTOO IT TO YOU
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December 11, 2016
 

Merry Christmas 2016:
Idk if everyone reading this celebrates Christmas. In the USA it is the most celebrated holiday of the year. It isn't just a day. It's a season just as summer & spring are seasons.
Stores everywhere decorate for Christmas months in advance.
There are many traditions surrounding Christmas such as church services, company parties, tree decorating, beautiful meals,  stage productions et cetera.
When I first learned that suicides reached an all time high during Christmas season, I was shocked!  It was the most wonderful time of year! When I was a child, Christmas was magical. When I became a mother at a very young age, the magic of Christmas was in making it special for my...

TATTOO IT TO YOU
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October 22, 2016
Garden Grove, United States

If I die tomorrow:
What would my loved ones say? I text' my daughter, "I'm free today". She did not respond. She loves me. I'm sure of it. She doesn't like me very much these days. Would she regret the time she could have spent with me? Would my sister regret not calling back as she promised the other day?  Would she regret not taking my call today when I offered her my Merrells'?
Would the negative things fall by the wayside & only the happy memories remain? Would Mommy be sad to no longer receive my daily phone calls? How sad would my clients be? Some of them have been with me for decades. I would miss them...all except for one. Yes I mean you Michael Wryley! I'm glad you think I'm a wonde...

TATTOO IT TO YOU
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September 30, 2016
Garden Grove, United States

Hello!
It's been a while since I've written here & I just wanted to say hello to my lettrs friends. I hope you are doing well!

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July 16, 2016
Garden Grove, United States

I am thankful for my beautiful feet. My sister once told me "We do not have beautiful feet in our family. Functional, yes. Pretty, no."
I vehemently disagree, dear sister.
I have been standing on my feet 8 hours a day, 5 days per week, for 31+ years. My feet have gotten longer & wider over the years from all the standing, but they are still so beautiful to me.  These feet have danced literally 1000s' of hours on a night club dance floor, Bar top, van top & probably even a table-top or 2. My feet have carried me through 1000s' of hours & over 20 years of dance classes. My feet helped me to reach an altitude of over 10,000' atop Mt.San Antonio a.k.a. Mt.Baldy. We've biked L.A. Marathons & Rolle...

TATTOO IT TO YOU
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June 30, 2016
Orange, United States

Compliments of the week:
"You're looking a lot more fit" ~from Holland at the gym.
"I'm so  glad that you're an empowered woman!"
~from my insurance agent.
"Your hair looks beautiful!"
~from a client.

Sometimes a kind word can change someones' perspective on life, put a spring in someones step or simply put a smile on my face
:-)

TATTOO IT TO YOU
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May 2, 2016
Garden Grove, United States

Granddolly:
I posted to fb a meme about the true measure of success being how your children talk about you to their friends...a sign I saw at Jimmy Johns. I illustrated how I believe each of my kids talk about me to their friends followed by, I think my kids like me...
...crickets.
I told this story to my daughter & her children as I laughed.
"Grandma, you've  Gotta know WE like you right?"
She warmed my heart & glassied my eye. What a warm & loving, empathetic little Granddolly LillyBelle  has. Her brother chimed in too. I feel very blessed.

FUCHSIA
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May 2, 2016
Garden Grove, United States

Hey Frank,
You didn't apologize for cursing me but I forgive you just the same. That's what Jesus would do. Now the curse is lifted. Please don't do that again. Thanks.

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ASPHALT GREY
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