I never realized how much trouble I had being honest to my feelings until I met you. I never realized how hard it was to be truly vulnerable until I met you. I never realized how I didn’t truly trust until I met you. I never realized how little of myself I shared with anyone, how much I held back and how closed I was.
I realized all of these things when I met you, as they rose and then melted away.
Now I fall with no net. I dance to the edge of the flame and don’t fear burning. I dangle a thousand feet from a rocky ledge and smile into the abyss. I feel, I cry, I create, and watch the past dissolve as I move forward.
“My heart is yours to fill or burst, To break or bury, or wear as jewe...
It was our first date. My heart had already been hers for while.
And it would be hers for as long as she’d have it. Always and a day. Sometimes, a man just knows.
I planned. Sketched details. Thought. After all, a first date with a woman to whom your heart has belonged for a while, need be special.
I arrived, a little early. Was that nerves I felt? Surely not! I don’t get nervous. Butterflies?? Hmmmm. A distinct possibility. A knock- then door swings open.
I forgot to breathe. Or maybe I couldn’t.
Beauty beyond word. Beyond dream. Beyond imagination.
Thoughts spinning. Somehow settling on forever.
My heart has belonged to ...
My dearest lover in orange,
I dreamed a moonless night. Dark clouds pregnant with loneliness. Drifting, sliding across an inky sky.
I dreamed a soundless sea. Waves crashing, yet the only sound my own heart pounding in my ears. My own breath heaving across my lips.
I dreamed a trackless desert. Dunes cast as far as my eyes could see. An evil heat torturing each step. A journey of outcome uncertain.
I dreamed a timeless day. A moon that hung next to the sun, neither moving. Shadows, long, but somehow short. The angles all wrong.
Then I dreamed of you. Moon in my night sky. Sound of waves upon my shore. Path through my endless desert. The sunrise and sunset in all my days, keeper of m...
Dearest lover in orange,
The moments lost when not in your embrace seem so long. A deep and restless longing takes my soul. I pace..mind whirling...eyes vacant. The restless longing of a thousand dreamless nights. Spent wishing on far off stars, their promises uncertain. Distant perfume twinkling lightly in the air, just enough for a memory, not enough for a dream.
A soul at restless longing yearns for wholeness. A wholeness tasted in passing sweetness, yet not quite fulfilled. A soul at restless longing knows wholeness found with you. A soul at restless longing mourns the moments.
Those moments will fade into past. Restless longing holds no lease on forever. Wholeness fulfilled does....
My dear lover in orange,
Not a day goes by that you don’t fill my mind. A day you don’t sway from memory to memory, aloft in my thoughts and skillfully swishing through my dreams. Your eyes are flashing, your hair flowing...your lips full. Your words appear upon that digital page...from wake to rest. But it’s still not enough. I need you lover in orange, a need so deep and fulfilled so incompletely. I need those words to be whispered in my soul, cast upon my heart and my hands by those lips. I need you lover in orange, to share in my soul...baptized in the swell of your sweet love and the vulnerable safety of trust it brings. I need you to be nothing with me and everything at once. To fill ...
Today I think of you. This has been building for a while, it’s not brand new. You see, I used to be able to count on you to be right there. Locked up and tucked away alone in whatever that place is you hide. I mean, sometimes you’d be harder to find, reluctant to show yourself. Sometimes you’d get hurt. Cuts mostly, little ones - that added up to big gashes over time. And smashed with a hammer. Beaten and crushed and pounded. I thought you were dead then. I didn’t feel you for a while after in that dark space. Just echo less silence. But slowly the darkness faded. Wisps of light returned, tucked on hopeful beams. And you were there still. Gashed and crushed and beaten. Hissi...
Lover in orange,
You make my heart swell. A thousand ancient dreams. A thousand ancient hopes. Ancient and un-whispered but never forgotten. They live again, risen from dusty chambers where they’d lain locked away. Rising in the swell and twirling aloft. Born anew and bathed in sunrise.