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March 6, 2019
 

Thank you, Next

A- Thank you for being there for me through my teenage angst period. Thank you for teaching me to be patient enough to let the anger out my system. I never felt so special unless I was with you, the attention you gave me was so delightful.
H- Thank you for being so persistant. You taught me what it was like to risk everything for something you love. You were so amazing with the way you spoke, the way you listened, and the way you loved. You made my heart flutter and raged a war of butterflies in my stomach.
S- You were the finale. The bittersweet reality that me laugh and cry. You showed me what my limits were, you showed me right from wrong. You were kind and overly sweet. ...

QUOTES
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January 4, 2019
 

If I tell you, will you listen
Will you really listen?

And if I tell you,
Will you really understand?

If I tell you all my secrets,
Will you really not judge me?

And if I tell my issues,
Will you really not get attached?

If  I tell you everything,
Will I be better?

And if I tell you everything,
Will you only listen to it?
Or will you offer your help?

And if I tell you everything,
Will it really be worth it?

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FOLLOW YOUR HEART
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November 17, 2018
 

Mother

My heart aches.
It really does.
I call your name and I feel nothing. The wounds in my heart are still fresh, you claim that I am just overreacting. How could you be so uncaring?
I dare not say anything. It will just make things more troublesome. Our yelling echoes in my head, your harsh words pierce through me. Like a clean knife, reopening my wounds again. I try to dismiss it. I say that it isn't true, you are my mother, surely I am the troublesome one. For how could a mother be like this?
Time passes. And each time I fall for you. Your rare kindness pulling me into a never-ending trap. How could I be so stupid? I know what you are, and yet I get weakened by you.
My tears have long...

LETTRS BLACK AND WHITE
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November 17, 2018
 

You sat there, effortlessly beautiful ,
Your smell enticing me,
Making me feel warm,
Your taste a never-ending ecstasy,
I dare take a bite,
The sin of touching you weighing down on me,
It doesn't matter how you affect me,
For you'll always be there for me

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FLYING DOVE
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November 16, 2018
 

I'm never honest with myself
I claim that I am whatever I say to myself
But the truth is I'm scared of showing my real skin

I don't like to tell you soo many things
Such as:
I need you to show me your love
I need you to show me your care
I need you to show me your apprecition
I need your attention
I need all of you
For me only

The reason I don't choose to speak of my problems is simply due to my fear

I get scared of the idea of being close
Close to you
I get scared of the idea of being an open book
An open book to your eyes

Cause one day we'll apart
And I'll be left alone to stick the pieces

So I run away
And throw the blame at your denseness

It's easier that way
Better that way

So ...

HACER DE TRIPAS CORAZÓN
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October 7, 2018
 

That moment that you get your periods, and everything seems to make soo much sense now.

THE EDISON BULB
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October 6, 2018
 

They sit there fighting. Making it sound like it's my fault, when in reality it's just them. I can't believe their extreme ways. To start a dramatic argument from just a light discussion and batter. Their audacity outrageous. Can you believe that they tried to manoeuvre this so I was the one left solely to blame?!
I walk away from them, not wanting to stay in the situation even a second longer. It's not that I am a coward to the pain, I am just afraid that I might say something. Something that I might regret and then end up to being like them. So I quietly move away, a lingering look being my last advance them. I will myself not to feel anything, I mustn't feel it.
So I held back the tears,...

THE EDISON BULB
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October 3, 2018
 

Take my hand
And pull me close

Closer than we can imagine

Our breaths mingling
Our hearts beating aloud

In the midst of our daze
We lose ourselves

Never giving in
I pull away

Not wanting to accept it
The fact that I feel for you

But your eyes hold me up
And my heart beats faster

It isn't meant to be I try to say

But we are destined to be
You say

An never ending delusion
We sink in further

Unknown we go
Into to the unseen

We don't hear a thing
And we don't feel the world around us

Just us
And our eternal fantasy

So pull me again
Closer and tighter

And don't you dare let go

For I might then truly lose myself
Deep into my own misery

And I'll grasp tightly
To our bond

And pr...

ENDLESS STARS
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October 3, 2018
 

Dear Penpals,
  I dreamed that I was pregnant again. I am neither married nor engaged or even in any sort of relationship. Yet here I am, feeling so giddy as fragments of the dream replays in my head. I could still feel the weird and authentic sensation of having the baby in me. So real and yet not even close to reality. I wonder what was the point of it. And why do I crave it when it was me who forbidded it. Maybe I am in awe at the idea of tormenting myself. Maybe I am just depressed or maybe it's just nothing at all. As the years pass, it gets harder for me to control my urges. To control my desires. I can't fall into the trap, I keep telling myself. Nonetheless I always wound back to wher...

VISIONS
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October 2, 2018
 

Words flowed to my mind
As my hand rushes to type it

You text
And I rush with glee to repond

My lips set to a grin
And my eyes alight with anticipation

You were different
I felt it in my being

But as the thought came
I pushed it away

I claim there isn't such a thing
Such a thing as the one

It's an out dated delusion
A never ending blackhole

But I can't help it
Help how I always act when you're there

I convince myself that I lost it
Yeah lost in your web

Reality sinks in
And society speaks

I say I don't care
And it don't matter

But it's impossible
It couldn't ever be

So I shut my heart close
Afraid of setting it loose

My eyes finally open
And I finally see

That you never exis...

DARK NIGHT
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October 2, 2018
 

Dear Penpals,
  I would like to share a deeply misguided concept, the concept of "the college/uni life". It is nothing but utter bullshit. Now, do excuse my language, but it really is so. I have just recently started uni in a foriegn country, and it has been completely uneventful. People might say it's due to the language barrier but believe me that is so not the case for me. Eventhough the uni displays "english" as the medium for teaching, it's students are yet to speak it properly. So really it isn't my chronic bitch face at fault here, and neither is it my socially awkward situations. Furthermore, friends and company came to me easily back at home and I guess I wasn't that appreciative of ...

RANDOM ACTS OF POETRY - DAY
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October 1, 2018
 

Run run little girl
You can't hide away forever

Run run little girl
From all your problems

Close your eyes
And pray

Run run little girl
The world is a scary place
You don't belong

Run run little girl
Mommy won't save you
She will never understand

Run run little girl
Daddy won't save you
He barely knows you

Run run little girl
Maybe one day you will belong

But not today
No, not today

Run run little girl
Only you can save yourself
So run run little girl

THE EDISON BULB
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October 1, 2018
 

Dear Penpals,
  The world is really one big funny joke. Literally. Ofcourse it's leaning towards the more sadistic side rather than the cheery one. One of it's prime examples is loneliness. As the days pass, I realise that it's completely different aspect than being alone. I long for company just like any of you, but what you, and I fail to see is if we are the company our loved ones need. Maybe that's why many of us are quite lonely. Maybe that's why I am here, writing my first letter ever, and wondering if I will ever not be lonely. They say karma is a bitch. That's pretty damn well said I would say.

Love,
Lora

ANGEL BREATHING
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