I want you but you are forbidden to taste.
I want to taste.
So bad that it hurts.
I remember her.
The other woman.
I remember trying to fight a war I was already losing.
I used to look for her in every picture he was in. And when I did find her, I would stare for a long while. I felt hurt and betrayed. None of this was her fault of course. She never even knew I even existed. How sad that sounds.
Not a day went by without her occupying my thoughts. I was drowning in her. Even in my sleep, I met her in my nightmares. Her very common name made me wish I didn’t have ears or eyes. This woman haunted me for a year or two.
And now, I am free.
I am free.
It’s 3 am.
You are sleeping next to me.
I can’t sleep.
Perhaps you’re right.
Drinking chai before bedtime was not a good idea.
It’s 3 am.
And I’m crying.
Because you are beautiful.
Even when you sleep.
Even when you snore.
The way your strands of hair fall perfectly around your handsome face.
I am even jealous of your dreams.
Is this what real love feels like?
We tend to forget we’re tiny little things living on one big rock in the midst of a much bigger space. Doesn’t that make you wonder in its amazement? Like wow. Imagine all that’s out there that we do not know of yet or never will.
I would not trade you for anything in this world.
Or in any other world.
I would not trade you for anyone I have lost in the past.
Or in any lifetime.
And if you need anything from me, I will willingly give.
If your heart decides to stop working one day, please take mine.
I'd rather lose my body than to lose all of you.
Have you seen my heart?
It’s been missing for a couple of months.
It must have grew legs and ran away from me.
If you just so happen to find a man with more than one heart, let me know.
You will not do the cruel things they did to me. But what they could not do, I am hoping that you will.
I love all of God’s creations.
But you are my most favorite one of all. And sometimes I like to think that when He made you, He made you just for me.
My dearest Anshu,
My thoughts look for you the most when I go to bed at night.
Baby, you and I.
It is only the beginning of this journey.
We haven’t hopped on the bus yet, but my tiny suitcase is bursting with feelings.
Baby, where are you taking me?
I held hands with time once
But it left me twice before
Came back to me three times
And asked me to meet him somewhere
So then came the fifth night
I waited but he was nowhere
With my heart in six sad pieces
I am still waiting there.
I’ve concocted so many failed cures for my loneliness. But the most important ingredient I always failed to find was self acceptance.
One lonely night when I was lost in a place so remote
I once hopped on a mysterious mans boat
He took me to places I’ve never been
And whispered me words doused in serene
I was so in awe of such a human being
A presence so strong that my fragile soul was healing
But on the night I fell in love
He tossed me overboard and sailed off
I wept and I wept and I wept
The ocean is deeper today because of my tears it kept...
That man and his boat.
Why didn’t I realize that it was my insecurities that kept it afloat?
Sometimes, I like to imagine many versions of myself crowded into one room. Everyone would be me but at a different age. It would start from 5 little year old me to the 25 year old me today. And I wonder. Would we all get along?
I don’t know whether I should cry or wave my mixed feelings happily in the air. Very soon, I’ll be approaching the end of a chapter in my life. I have always been the type of person to look back and wished I could have changed things here and there. But looking back now, I wouldn’t change a thing. From the biggest decisions to the littlest detail. From the many heartaches to worst mistakes. I would keep it all. There are some things you really have to go through to understand it all. You’ll think that you lost pieces of yourself ... only to realize that you’re replacing them with something much stronger. Remember the moments you thought you weren’t going to be able to p...
My mistake was placing us so high so that when we both fell, I was the one who was hurt the most. You walked away unfazed. I was left alone to find the pieces of my broken heart. And now, I have become selfish. I don't want anyone else to have it. This heart is mine. And mine alone.
This is it.
My favorite hiding place.
It is my place to seek comfort and peace.
It is where I depend on the words of strangers to build me an armor to face this cruel world.
And yet, here I am again.
Cheer up! Life is too short to cry over someone who doesn't think about you everyday! Look at you! You are alive! Yes, your heart might be in pieces but it still beats. But now its the time to let it go.
You will pick yourself up.
You will wipe away those tears.
You will dust away the sadness.
You were made for great things. Think about how far you have come. From your very first memory on this earth til now. You did not come this far to spend months crying over a man!
I urge you to go after the things you love to do.
Spend as much time as you can there.
Take much much better care of yourself than you have before.
Everyday is a new beginning. ...
What do you do with a broken heart?
How do you piece it together part by part?
Where do I even start?
It still burns and yearns
For the one who took it apart
There's an art in having a broken heart
There's an expression in depression
There's tears that appear sincere
There's madness colored in sadness
There's still a beat in the heartbeat
There's still a sad sigh over a lie
There's a forced smile drawn for a while
There's a broken dance to the way I stand
There's music to my ears I do not hear
There's colors my eyes do not realize
There's scents my nose can't make sense
There's feelings I try my best not to feel
There's an art in having a broken heart
I know and understand this
Because I am it's walking canvas.
To the beautiful Raudha Athif
May you rest in peace
I am sorry to say that
This world is a cruel thief
Yearning to be lost in unknown streets
Unfamiliar spaces where my ambitious footsteps want to tread
Foreign music , chatter , food , the people
I am in wonderment
When I stand in a place for the first time
Knowing that someone else has spent their entire life there.
I have just met you
And I am a bit sad
That I went on living on this planet
For 23 years
Not knowing that you ever existed until now
I wonder why I have stronger connections with online friends that I have not met yet.
They seem to understand a part of me that is not understood by friends that I see everyday.
There are millions of many men on this planet.
But calling you mine makes you the only man I see on this planet.
Dear world ,
If I was a man and I wanted me a woman ...
I would let her know in many ways that I want her . I wouldn't just call her up and tell her that I wanted her . Or texted her .
I would show her .
I wouldn't give her empty promises.
I wouldn't call her just during late hours .
I would call her every morning before she goes to work. And every night before she goes to bed .
I would go out of my way to show her that I truly truly care . And if I'm a busy man ?
I would throw little phone calls and text her ANY chance I have .
I wouldn't dare give her a chance to doubt my feelings for her in any way ! And if she did feel that way ... I would call immediate attention as soon as I c...
There are no words enough to describe this indescribable feeling dripping from my heart .
Maybe the best things in life
are the things you don't go looking for. :)