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Lauren Young

PO# 642659
United States
United States
The bumpy road of recovery 29 Columbus, OH
January 25, 2020
Henderson, United States

         L I B E R A T E D
I
simply
feel
free.
      As if I was caged for several years & finally broke free.
           From what? From whom?
        From M Y S E L F.
      The saboteur.

             A W A K E

Nearly 29 & I’m just now waking up.
       Ironic, as I spent over a decade addicted to stimulants; wide-awake & sleep-deprived.  
     I am aware more than ever.

  G R A T I T U D E

I am flooded with so much of it lately.
So much of it, I don’t know what to do with it.
    I wonder what I have done to deserve it.
       So much goodness;
       So much greatness!
                 It really just
                 fills me with awe.

                S O B E R

         ...

LEOPARD
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July 3, 2019
Las Vegas, United States

Dear future self,

Do you remember the days  when you tried to convince yourself & others that
“maybe some people  are just meant to have a bad lives”?

& how you referred
to yourself as
“damaged goods”?

That life just wasn’t
meant for you?

Remember that you believed since you were a youth that you weren’t going to live until 26???

You simply became comfortable soaking in your self-pity;
Completely content being a victim of your demons versus a master of your own destiny.

But, then the day came,
where the risk of staying the same was greater than the risk it took to change.

You felt so low from living high for so long; so close to dying it was finally time to start living.

You trust...

WORLD WATERCOLOR MONTH
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June 18, 2019
Las Vegas, United States

I am finally back &
         I am finally sober.

Still, I gravitate
towards crystal,
though I know our
good times are over.

    Such a struggle
    it is to abstain
    from that of which
    fills me with both
    exuberance & disdain.

     Unless on
     the verge of dying,
    I don’t feel that
    I’m really even living;
             In short,
         Disturbingly
         unsatisfying.

      I’m aware that
      my addiction
      wants me dead.
                  It whispers
                  sweet nothings
                  & gets in my head.

     Each time it calls,
     I answer & buy that ticket
     for the ride that
     breaks my heart
     every time.
     
     I k...

ZEBRA
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May 20, 2019
Westerville, United States

Hey guys.

On my way to treatment for the next month or so! Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers and I’ll see you on the other side of this

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WHITE CLOCK
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May 19, 2019
Columbus, United States

Hey guys I could use
some words of wisdom to get me through this detox and before I go to treatment tomorrow.

All my love,

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FOLLOW YOUR HEART
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May 16, 2019
Columbus, United States

          Unexpectedly,

      Being left out in
           the cold is
             much warmer
        than you ever
              ever were...
             

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RUMA ZAIDI
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May 15, 2019
Columbus, United States

“This is my last time”
            -me (again)

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ZEBRA
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May 14, 2019
Columbus, United States

Well...
          So it begins,
what is supposed
      to be my
        final binge.

My last hoorah.

“You always say that”
                   -all my friends

They’re not wrong!

This weekend I go to treatment.
            (again)

I’m never
gonna want
this high
to cease
           </3

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WHITE CLOCK
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May 14, 2019
Columbus, United States

  THINGS
  DON’T CHANGE

                P E O P L E
                DO

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WHITE CLOCK
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May 13, 2019
 

People
Don’t
Change
‘Til
It
Hurts
Bad
Enough

The risk of staying
           the same
must be greater
           than the risk
           of changing.

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LETTRS 2019 STAMP
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May 13, 2019
Columbus, United States

Perhaps,
               the silver lining is
                that from the
                            w r e c k a g e,

  i could build
                a
                new
                f o u n d a t i o n.

              Something durable,
              Something sturdy.

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WHITE CLOCK
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May 13, 2019
 

      Man Vs. Self

I feel
like God
& the devil
are at war
inside of my soul.

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FOLLOW YOUR HEART
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May 12, 2019
 

I
Always
Shoot
Way
Past
The
Mark

              too ambitious
                for all
                the
                 wrong things
      

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WHITE CLOCK
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May 11, 2019
 

Due to
one of my
methamphetamine
binges,

       iOS screen time app
                    states
              I’ve spent
                    over
                    27 hours

           on our
     Lettrs app
            in the
          last 7 days.

Whether I’m
high or not,

                      I have become
                      absolutely
                      O B S E S S E D
                      w/ Lettrs
                      since coming
                      across it
                      last week.

To say it has been
life-changing
would be the
understatement
of the year.

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WHITE CLOCK
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May 10, 2019
Columbus, United States

  
                 pain is inevitable,
               suffering is a choice

suffering is
the direct
result of
resisting pain

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WHITE CLOCK
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May 10, 2019
 

         The only time
                we don’t have
          a choice is
                    when we refuse
                to make one.

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DAY OF TRUTH
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May 10, 2019
Columbus, United States

Life
Expects
More
From
You

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LETTRS 2019 STAMP
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May 10, 2019
 

If a
better life
is what
you want,

                 start
                        by
                             taking
                                    off
                                         the
                                              noose

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LETTRS 2019 STAMP
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May 9, 2019
Lancaster, United States

         I am truly
                            u n i n s p i r e d.

sobriety
gives
me
writer’s
block

          

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RECOLLECTION
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May 6, 2019
Columbus, United States

L- let go of what makes you heavy

A- apologize when you’re wrong

U- use your manners

R- remember to be grateful  

E- emulate kindness

N- nothing worth having comes easy

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ZEBRA
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May 6, 2019
 

        F    A    L    L    I    N    G
                         Deeper
                              &  Deeper
                      
          Into
                 the
                     crystal
                              a b y s s  

                              
          Signing off-
                  B A N G, B A N G
                              K I S S, K I S S

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FOLLOW YOUR HEART
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May 6, 2019
 

Using drugs...
Well, it used to be fun.
    Until
          all of the sudden,
                    it just wasn’t.
                 
                                      Now,
                     the only high
                     I chase is
                                     Oblivion.  

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VISIONS
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May 6, 2019
 

At
Times
I
Win
The
Battle

But
I’ll
Always
Lose
The
War

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WOMAN
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May 6, 2019
 

The
Higher
The
Climb,

              The
              Lower
              The
              Fall.

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CHIRAYU
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May 3, 2019
 

My perfect life wouldn’t
be anything fancy.

    In fact,
    it’s pretty simple:
                        Peace of mind &               
                    Long-term sobriety.

They go
hand-in-hand

    As long as
    I could experience
              true peace of mind
              & make myself proud
              by staying sober,

                          That would
                          be everything
                          I’ve ever wanted

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CREATIVE WRITING
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May 3, 2019
Columbus, United States

Dear fellow Lettrists,

I am so grateful to have randomly come across this app! Currently I’m In the midst of my addiction, isolated without the human connection that I crave so badly. Downloading this was absolutely serendipitous as it has given me a platform to be honest and vulnerable while making connections as well as reading beautiful words.

I feel inspired.
I will continue to try to keep the faith as so many of you do.

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CHEERS TO YOU
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May 3, 2019
Columbus, United States

Why do I write?

I use writing as
an outlet for all
my crazy emotions.

But I mainly write for
personal growth reasons.
It’s a coping tool.

I also write because
I absolutely love reading
things from a while back.

It’s fun!

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E
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May 3, 2019
Columbus, United States

What
Is
The
Price
Of
Freedom

&

How
Is
It
Paid?

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GREENPEACE DAY
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May 3, 2019
New Albany, United States

                 Day 4
     Crystal meth binge

         I have never been so
         terrified in my life.

I’m more afraid of my
own shadow than of the
infamous shadow people
at this point.

Silence is dangerous.
    Every little sound
    makes me gasp
    & causes a dramatic                 
    physical response.

My poor body,
My poor mind.

Not only can I feel the
toll the meth has taken on me, but I can see it:

      My legs are purple.
      My fingers are orange.

              That baffles me.

                    This
                         Is
                            Not
                                Okay

I am thoroughly disgusted with myself on all levels.
  ...

CREATIVE WRITING
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