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I find my solace in you
No idea how to block this emotion I just want to show
I have no idea if I am doing it right
You seem fine but I cannot get you out of my mind
I thought you were here to rescue the damsel in distress
Or you are still hanging there because you find me as a good friend.
Never thought this cliche might happened
But I need to withdraw to this emotion as I will shatter in a distance
I don't know how, I don't know why
But I am a novice in this matter
You are here and there you go
You can do everything on your own
Maybe I am a speck of dust
longing for a spark
that needs to be ignite
Sometimes, I had enough of noise.
Over acting people.
I do not really like loud people
though I have friends who are
but I just cannot take the too much
especially if I am not in the mood
fair enough, I will stay away.
Ang inga -OA-
I dream of you last night
and it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart
because you are different
you are not fine
you look worst
I ponder what's happening
why did you change
I greeted you and
you just walk away
I am not sure what's happening
then, I wake up
hoping you are fine
I want to send you a message
and to know if you are fine
but I cannot
my ego is eating me
so I am just praying, you are very fine.
and there you are again making me feel good.
letting me smile once again.
the heart which was in pain is slowly healing.
those simple gestures.
I know you do without intention.
it makes me feel giddy.
Yes, Im healing once again.
the song you sing at night makes me feel
I am being serenade by cheerful birds in the sky.
you make me feel alive.
your daily polite greetings
makes me wonder
do you really care.
I am happy with this distance.
and I ought not to share what's inside of me.
you will never know.
I am just contented to be your friend, your neighbour.
* a message to my neighbour*
Frequently thinking as the day goes by
that even we do not talk
you'll still care and be around
There were things never been said and just left
without a risk because we were too proud
I love to think that everything shall passed
Because I am definitely a hopeful being
who wants her inner peace back
Hoping someday I will realise that everything ends
and another page will open now
Realistically, it's not due for this season
Life is like a game of snakes and ladders
There are times when a SNAKE bites you down
and a LADDER to take you up
Just don't give up to roll the dice again and again.
Please excuse me if I am quite bothersome I know you told me that you will shut up and leave me alone but until now I am learning how to let go of things I cannot hold onto.
I am happy because you are emotionally strong.
Before, I truly think I am strong but maybe this experience is new to me and I am in the process of guarding my heart again.
In the future, I hope I will be like you because you know how to get it over easily. Up until now, I am still learning what to do and I hope you do not mind if at times I will still send you messages from time to time and ask about how you doin?
Maybe I am still in fact withdrawn to the feelings I had which I though was only temporary and yet I am ...
I am not broken
I am in the process of healing
Learning how to stop the fast heartbeat
and returning it to its usual state
I used my head
and choose to let go
my heart is throbbing
and Im not so sure
my heart was an open book
trying to recover from a sadness
of the reason why I let go
my choice makes me realise
that I am afraid of the unknown
and the people who'll judge me
if I hold on
But everything was vivid
and the best thing to do
is not to hold on
Though, I am still in the place
where I cannot let go
This wall I thought was build to last
never truly knows it will shatter
I'm under a spell
I'm caught and cannot escape
In one way or another
to self destruct
and to disappoint another soul
Please release this uncanny emotion
if you're not here to stay
I do not know if I could still rely
if up to this moment,
I am the one who only plays
and your just at bay
like a predator waiting for a prey
I'm not up to this and I hate myself
for letting my self to enter this wholly madness
If the wind is against us
how can I waver
I look in to your eyes
telling a brief history
your past distractions and animosity
Linger for a touch and reverie
You close your eyes and just feel
Guess I couldn't stand it
But I'm not willing to compromise
truly not ready for another downfall
from your fancy idyllic
Regardless, I'm happy that you are here
even yet you are so far
I blame it to the wind
I curse this havoc
I will just entirely cherish
This come what may situation
but do not demand
Just be thankful
that you are present
when they need you
It's not about the time
nor the presence
but your willingness
If they do not appreciate it
and forget it
maybe someone else
right now need them the most
There are circumstance in my life
where I act momentarily numb and dumb
But I believe I need to act the opposite
However, I just cannot
My friend told me my infatuation
take me to another level of fantasy
which I cannot decipher the real from reel
My situation is not adamant
because I think I am still in control
and its up to me whether to choose
the right or wrong
This shallowness I want to disappear
though my regret is the one I fear
relentlessly as I discover these loneliness
cannot be sway like a wind
forgive me for being to stubborn
and not fighting the fear of the unknown
I am just hardly afraid of being hurt,
loving without knowing,
getting by without te...
After a month of being at home
I am back from being independent
to a new country where I am a stranger
to the people who are so polite
to a place where my comfort is gone
where I strive to fight for my place
and to dream an impossible dream
Here I go again
Trying my hardest so I will not regret
leaping my faith because I believe that
this dream is meant to be a reality
Gratitude and thankfulness will be in my heart
because whenever I look back I know you'll
always be a part
Assessing myself after a year, I find that I'm still the same girl I used to be.
I'm still having a hard time connecting to people.
I still do not know how to risk.
I still believe in my own principle and I am not willing to bend it.
I am still inside the bubble and refusing to pop out.
I feel the I am fragile and vulnerable to be hurt a lot of time.
There maybe changes but I know it's a chance for me to be better.
Time will tell when I can burst out, just to be understood.
In the end, I am still the same hopeful girl who dreams to be happy
HEARING MY MOTHER'S VOICE
IS A CALM IN MY HEART
THE SIMPLE HUM SHE DELIVERS
MAKE ME FEEL AT EASE
HER SMILE AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
MAKES MY HEART FLUTTER
MY TREMBLE HEART
SHE KEEPS IT FOR COMFORT
I D0NT KNOW
WHAT I WILL DO WITHOUT HER
I WANNA HUG HER TIGHT
WITH ALL THE MIGHT THAT I CAN
HOW LUCKY AM I
TO HAVE A MOTHER
WHO HAS SELFLESS LOVE
SO SHE DESERVES ONLY THE BEST
I LOVE YOU MOM!
It's not my intention to hurt you
For once, I am just making a decision for myself
I'm not sure if we can reconcile
and it's tough
because I treasure you a lot.
I wonder how it will be
But I still hope
everything's gonna be fine
just the way before
I'm too shallow to be emotional
I don't regret
but I'm just scared to lose
a genuine heart whom it's hard to find
A friend like you
is hard to find
But God only knows
if we can work out fine.
I do not know.
I just feel giddy whenever I see you.
tongue-tied, that is why I never talk to you.
no doubt I am amaze by your beauty
and when your eyes speak
I am mesmerise without knowing why
I used to unlike you
because you displayed arrogance
like you did not care at all
I really do not know
Then, a sudden change of heart
I wanna know your soul.
Is it full of comfort?
or longing for someone?
I'm scared because you're out of reach.
even you're just simply here.
Adulting is hard.
Experiencing ups and downs is inevitable.
But wrong decisions makes you wiser.
It is a part of life you will always pass to,
So don't be afraid to fall.
Because after you fall, the only way you will go is up.
A moment of silence is better
And it’s even best with warm hugs
A simple dose can keep us shine
Even It’s another gloomy day
I am trying to reach out on something I can not decipher
The depth is unintentional that even a grasp of someone's hand can not take away
Moving forward is the perfect solution, a must though I prefer the initial step to be out done
Proceeding with a lot of uncertainty can rule out success or desperation so where do I stand
Will I continue to shut inside my world or try to reach something I do not even know
Catching a rare glimpse from a human
Dissecting your being
Trying to convene a message
Which is terribly hidden
Looking thoroughly to bits of glances
Working out every habit to decipher the information
It is your heart.
Giving without waiting
Reciprocates love without envoking
It just transcends your soul
That is a beauty
Monday is the day
Which I will speak my thoughts to a people I never meet or knew.
My mind is trembling to think on how I will act to this matter.
May my words reflect a beautiful meaning ib my life.
May I have the strength to answer every questions.
Give the best of my ability and the gist of the information they want to hear.
I will be glad that this soon will end.
And I do not have the time to take it anymore.
I want to be out and never go back.
Spread my wings and fly to a horizon and in order to commit this I need to become the best and provide a fair lines this coming monday.
I will be very glad if I get what I deserve which is the very best ofcourse
Why it is so hard to write a witty essay for an hour?
The fact that I know how to read and write makes me stress from the output I generated. A millions of corrections to countless of grammar mistakes are all I have seen.
Can anyone help me with my current dilemma?