|Author📚 Author of The Martens brothers series, Black Guys and Gals, Damaged and McQueen Family series 📚(Marianna Nemeth)|
Was scared and thought I lost you...
Was scared because I thought you are not interested anymore.
Was scared for two days.
Was scared, all you needed to do is text me.
Was scared I lost you.
Was scared, all night and day.
Was scared for two days.
Then I got angry when you finally wrote but still felt happy you are alive.
This year has been pretty amazing, then something changed and all hell broke loose but I feel myself more stronger, more open minded, more free then ever now.
Half of 2017 wasn't the best year of my life but I am getting there and I know 2018 will bring more joy and more new things for me.
Wish everyone a Happy New Year.
I think I am all settled. Bits and pieces are still missing but I feel home.
#this is what I am working on
I slowly walked up on the stairs, higher and higher until the last level of the Police department building. When I needed a brake from my colleagues or my brother and his boyfriend I always come up here. No phone, no one to talk to just watch the city.
I stood up on the cement wall and put my hands in my pocket. The city was beautiful, dark but beautiful. I always liked heights, from a young age. When I wanted to think I climbed up on our roof and sat down. Dad needed to shout at me to get down a couple of times.
I smiled and looked down. The street was full even it was already midnight. I went to look up to the buildings around me and s...
Nothing I have ever experienced.
Everything is sooo new.
I do enjoy it though.
Every day is different.
Sometimes I do cry,
Sometimes I do laugh,
Sometimes I do think,
Sometimes I do shout....
It's not easy but I have to go through this to get my freedom, get what I deserve and live my life with my kids.
I don't need pity,
I don't need watching,
I don't need listening...
All I need is you letting me go because, damn... you fucking screwed up and you can't undo it. You can't make me forget it. I want you to leave but still don't leave the kids, only me.
Let me live my life with them. Let me mourn over this relationship because that's what I need, that's what I have to do.
It's easy for you, you don't even see how easy for you... You are already starting a new life w...
I looked into my mirror and sighed. My hair was loose on my shoulder, straightened and deep brown. My make up was light, but I tried to make some changes so I used red lipstick.
My dress was long and black and all I wanted is to take it off and get back to my leggings and shirt.
I walked up to my bed and sat down putting on my high heels which I wasn't even sure if I was able to walk in it or not. I stood up and grabbed my small bag, checking if I had everything. Phone, money...
I slowly walked downstairs and my friend and her daughter looked at me smiling.
"How do I look?" I asked them and they grinned.
"Like someone who is ready for her first real date." She told me and I smiled at ...
He looked into my eyes deeply and I smiled shyly at him.
"Why are you looking at me like this?" I asked him and he sighed looking out of the window then back to me. I couldn't take off of my eyes from his face. His deep blue eyes, his cheeks how smiles, his lips.
"I spotted you looking out on this window in the last twenty minutes..." he started it and I sipped some coffee from my cup and smiled. "... and I thought you need some companion." He shrugged drinking from his coffee.
"I don't know..." I shrugged looking at my coffee.
"Broken heart?" He asked me and I smiled sadly looking back up to him.
"Kind of..." I mumbled.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked me and I shook...