|Author Author of The Martens brothers series, Black Guys and Gals, Damaged and McQueen Family series (Marianna Nemeth)|
Christmas is soon here and I hope it will be better then the last one.
I am hopeful.
What if I can’t give you everything? You will leave and my heart will be broken again. You just put it back together and I don’t want it to be broken again.
Feeling the pain as I go pale and can’t move is the worst ever at the moment...
Hopefully I will get some results next week.
Pinky finger update:
Bandage off for the daytime, 4 more weeks to wear it at night!
Coping well I guess lol
Don’t blame yourself, baby.
No one knows a thing just yet.
I promise everything is going to be just fine.
Don’t even think about the worst.
Stop blaming yourself, baby.
Yesterday was a day when I realised this could be more then what we are doing.
It’s early, scary but in the future I want it.
I want you.
Moving on with small steps with you is the best thing what happened to me in the last year.
I like it.
Do we actually go anywhere else?
Does our relationship real?
Am I doing it right?
Going slow is okay?
Just to see how it goes at the moment?
You are too good to be true,
You are too good for your own good.
You are much more then I thought you are.
We are more now then friends.
My favourite holiday is Disneyland land because I can feel like a kid all over again!
ADVICE - COMMENT PLEASE
I need advice.
Do guys like to hear that someone loves them?
I am debating to tell him, but it’s pretty complicated as we are not together anymore as he moved away.
I think he has feelings too but I don’t want to read too much in it either. I don’t want to get heartbroken more then I am now, and I don’t want to be disappointed either.
Never had this before, never had a guy this special in my life.
I have the “You only live once” thinking in my mind though... like I don’t want to burry this feeling, and I want it to be out there, and tell him...
But you know... I am scared.
I miss so many things about you that I can’t even describe it...
Where to start..?
If I do, I wouldn’t be able to stop and I will start craving after you again.
I miss you.
Time will help.
It’s easier to let you go.
But I still smell you on me, I still remember our time together, I still feel your touch, I still see you standing there and smiling at me, I still remember your kisses.
Time will help.
I am hopeful there is someone out there for me... but that hope is fading.
I was completely fine while you were here, I hate what happened, I hate the situation and reasons behind it but I have to accept it.
I am no one.
Time will help and I will be able to smile and laugh without thinking about you.
Time will help.
Do real love and soulmate exists?
I am not really sure anymore.
Are there any decent guys out there? Who wants to know you as you, not just for your body...
I feel like I will stay alone and won’t find anyone who will like me for me, who will want me for me...
Single life I guess.
Letting you go is my worst nightmare but I have to allow you to leave as you have to.
Just don’t forget me, please.
Make a time for me once in a while cause if you leave without a promise I will brake again and you were the one who put me together in the first place.
“I turned away tears pouring from my eyes and you grabbed my hair turning me back to you and kissed me bye.”