|Engineer ● India|Kerala|Kasaragod ● I tried to fit in.. but still stood apart..☺|
You make me remember my home...
You bring back memories...
Which I wanna forget...
And which I wish to remember too...
Which you were part of,
And which you were not...
You make me miss something...
Which in my locale called as 'karkare'...
You make me feel hungry...
You make me just sit idle...
Watching those drops....
Cracking snacks and badaiess...
You give meaning to the word 'feel'...
'Ten for hundred'
'Hundred for ten'
I may argue that both have same meaning.
Do you agree?
Some may agree ,
Some may disagree..
It depends on how you interpret it.
You may tease me, thinking how foolish am I.
For me the first one is ,'Ten rupees for hundred candies.'
And the second one mean 'Hundred candies for Ten rupees'
They are really same...
But it is because you gave interpretation to them.
Because you wanted both to be same...
But someone who always like to point out the mistake in you can think differently...
For them the second one may be
'Hundred rupees for ten candies'
They may critisize you to stick to your words and dont change them unnecessarily..
No matter, how goo...
#night thoughts #void #noreason #today #workwithoutreward #noonecares #undiscovered #itnomoreexcitesyou #butfillsyoureyes #feelasaburdennotasanexcitingchallenge
Best thing I have read today
"If it wasn't hard everyone would do it"
I always loved doing things which people categorise as hard or unwanted...
Exploring things which people rarely notice of...
But I never gave attention to details which everyone take care of...
I had my own print...
Which I loved...
Now - a point in my life where I wish to be normal...
Unnoticed by all
Above all, one who doesn't care about being noticed or not....
It's been a year...
From the wonderful moments of college ,being on a working environment was terrifying,
away from home for the first time,
Survived a year with much better situations right now...
Going through the holy month again, it brings the memories of our ifthar and zuhoor...
Alhamdulillah for the amazing souls Allah had made me meet..
Alhamdullilah for all the tensions you have given me since a year which had drawn me closer to you...
#randomthoughts #sick #bedridden #bored #failure #life #fight #disturbedthoughts
Learning to fail...
Is it needed?
The society wonders..
Life taught me
Of lacking the courage to face the failure...
Failure was something which had no meaning in life...
Until I realized its worth..
I thought nothing was impossible...
There was nothing like 'I can't' in my life..
Eventhough it wasn't a 100 % success, it wasn't something which could be called as failure..
And it never used to disturb me like now..
Even after months...
It still haunts me...
Learn to fail..
Not "collapse" later in life...
One more row added to the list of things I have lost because of my shyness..
More than a lose, it was an underestimation of what I could,
Now I doubt whether any 'I can' things exist in my path.
Soon gonna bid good bye to 'tongue only for survival' world.
I fit nowhere in this world where 'words speak louder than action' ...
A psychological move called buyer's remorse..
May be something better lies in the plan of best of all planners, Allah.
It may be just a redirection for ne search and seek that path....
Green lights turned on the signal on opposite track.
"Dont cross, we can wait", I told her.
"Ok,Let me turn my camera on",She replied.
Seconds of katta waiting to take video of train which doesnt have stop in KSD.
"Dont cross, the train is near",said a passer by.
"I wish I could shoot it without any obstruction", she said in desperation.
It was already too late..
Still, I stood beside her supporting her craziness and skill( 😜 ) in photography.
The choo choo sound became so close..
And her wait was approaching its target..
AN ENGINE PASSES...
#fridaynight #trainjourney #backtoksd #withher #alphotographer #thangamma #noora #twinsis😜
Having a topper as your friend
make many technical and scientific words
in daily conversation.
Some yes or no questions are meaning less ..
the questioner expects
only a single biased answer...
A word which has a deeper meaning than its original meaning.
A word which means empty but powerful enough to fill your mind , heart , in short everything.
A random jump into this word bought back memories...
Of people, whom I thought, were insane like me..
The most fascinating, neverending subject in this world is human behaviour..
We expect people to be like us.
Because the only human whom you know completely is your SELF...
And this expectation is dangerous...
Like teaching an elephant to fly,
It cause destruction of them in us,
And that space get filled by void...
Finally a single word remains..
Walking over an unfamiliar path is something which I choose to avoid the most.
But part of me wanted me to try different path all alone.
Half of me loved Solo Journeys through unfamiliar path.
Meeting new people ...
Asking help from them..
And finally making that path a familiar one.
A lazy part of me wanted me to stick to routines so as to avoid burden of getting familiar with the new one...
Overcoming the lazy part is so challenging one, which I rarely used to try upon...
But once tried..
It gives the feeling of conquering Himalaya..
That joy ...
Gives the energy for vandalising the lazy part.
#night thoughts #newpath #solo #silence #new #introvert
Lost and Found"
"No, you are wrong"
"You failed in getting lost and hence in being found"
"What you saw was the just something which was already there"
"Without losing you can never ever realise the joy of being found"
Dear microprocessors, system programming, electrical circuits, etc....,
You were far easier to me than dealing with people...
I tried to change..
But in vain
Because it's like physical change...
It goes back to old state..
Because it is the most stable state..
A chemical change..
Because I just wish to get lost in the wilderness where no one can find me..
To get lost in thoughts..
To be in my own world..
To be myself..
I dont even try to change my slang
Because I love it..
Being what I am..
To be a shy, childish, short, foolish woman
To be what I am
I am resistant to change..
But I love to be what I am now..
They asked her who she is?
The introvert smiled and answered, i am a puzzle that will take you a lifetime to solve.
>"Could you please speak ?" Asked everyone.
> "Can you just shut your mouth?" Asked a few.
She was a like a two-way switch..
With no middle state.
She was like a computer program...
Complex to handle..
Only some special people can understand and too not completely...
Its so powerful..
One year back,
Preparing to grab the first job offer in my life,
Cracking the first interview,
Amidst lack of capability,
just because you had written it in my destiny ya allah.
A life at Banglore..
How can I hold on to my views on such a city,
With a half 'no' from parents,
A lot of anxieties and worries remained,
But Allah had a better plan for me,
And it brought me to where I am now..
I miss something..
And that something what I need the most for my survival..
'The old happy me'
Fighting with the obstacles,
With no one to understand what am I going through,
I am still living..
I feel it as a punishmnt for the mist...
The whole world see me as a mad woman...
They are right...
I am mad...
I know the reason behind my madness..
Most of the mad people don't know..
I am a lazy one...
Who love to get lost in thoughts..
Who think of the worst extreme situation one can be in..
It's a relief for me..
Expecting the worst and getting better than expected..
But when I express my thoughts to others..
They feel like I am mad...
They feel the madness in me..
It's raining now,
It brings back memories,
Somewhat refreshing me,
But not completely...
Coz, I am missing something..
And I dont know the reason behind this,
A tragic novel would have helped...
But not in a mood to r...
When you are happy with what you do...
But not happy with where you are.
But you chose to be stay there...
When you wanna yell at the world that it's not your mistake...
And you wanna find its cause..
It can't be found...
It's hidden version of something called fate..
All you can do is to leave everything you love and be hidden from the outside world..
That's how you will be in peace mode...
You will suffer..
For no reason..
For no mistakes of yours..
Somewhere I do miss something.
But I can't figure out what it is.
I do wonder....
I am facing the consequence of that missing..
I can't find happiness in doing what I love.
May be it lies in lack of sorting out what is right and what is wrong...
I may be missing the people with whom I have spend years.. my parents and sibilings..
I need you people to talk, laugh and fight together..
Not a single working day passes without counting for weekends..
Uncontrollable thoughts floating over the restless mind..
Still wondering what is wrong with me...
"What happened to you?"
"Depression.When the reality travels on opposite side of dreams and the realization that it is so hard to chase it,I feel like a loser."
"Why is it so hard?"
"Coz nearly a quarter of century have been wasted.Morever I dont know the time of my return journey."
An inspirational experience of my friend
She was a kind of girl, so sensitive to the downs turning up in the adventurous journey of life.
Two days before ,while she was returning home, her thoughts roamed around the adversities of life (simple problems which when once become part of past ,could bring smile on our face) and was searching for a reason for continuing life.
In this one hour journey ,
suddenly a mentally challenged boy caught her eyes, she just watched the boy nescient about torment in his life..
On the same way, she saw a man suffering from vitilgo, a lamey woman and a mentally challenged girl..
The 4 people changed her perception on life and in turn made her consious of the ...
(in Paulo Coelho 's
'The winner stands alone')
I too wanted destroy the world to give out message,
not through killing,
"Is it regret?"
"No," I said to console myself.
"It is called fate.The god's will.We should believe that what he intends only happen no matter how hard we desire and strive for it to happen."
Deep inside, heart still murmured,"Regret ... regret..".
First day of new year got over..
Yesterday and day before yesterday,both were similiar to me..
The only change was that mom had replaced an year old calender with the new one...
Every day would have been a new one,if we could live without bothering about past and future...
But, mishaps at the past and worries about future, sometimes, even make us sleepless..
Then how can we wake up onto a new day!!!!!
Similarly rolling days of calender too doesnt change our life eventhough we make a list of new year resolution and celebrate the first day of the new year!!!
I always wonder.....how different my life would have been...if just a small choice of mine was different from what it is now....
its always choices that matters...which decides something called fate...
Have you ever walked into a room and forgot why did you walk in???
It happens to me often....
"First impression is the best impression"
For me it was never true.
Whenever I know them better they made a different impression on me and mostly it changes to better...
May because I'm not good at human psychology...
How about you people??