I was hurt, but I didn’t care.
Because maybe I was all he had
And that’s why he used me.
Maybe I was all who listened
So he tried to talk a little too close.
But either way
I tried to fix what was unfixable,
Because even though I was broken,
I didn’t want him to hurt the same way I was.
This is from you, your apology I never had, the explanation I never received.
I am sorry I took your body,
The one place you felt comfortable is now just a flesh suit that you have to withstand.
I am sorry I took your voice,
Every time you wanted to speak out is now repressed into tears being choked down.
I am sorry I took your freedom,
Because now every time you want to get to know someone you will always wear what is the most difficult to get out of.
I am sorry I took your trust,
Because I know every other man who will walk in your life will only ever be a worry.
I am sorry I took your sanity,
I notice your hands shaking or the fear in your eyes when someone touches you.
I am sorry I too...
Things that fall:
The roses are wilted, the violets are dead,
I can’t get the memories out of my head;
A flightless bird, found her chance,
To help another, find his stance;
To help him live, to help him heal,
Came with cost, I’m now his meal;
I wanted to please you, to let me go,
You plucked my feathers, a naked show;
Cage this bird, forget she breathes,
Because now her body, won’t ever feel free.
All this time I was waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel.
And when I finally got there I realized it was no light at all.
It was you.
And there is nothing better I could’ve asked for.
Pressing promises in each kiss
You trail my body like a wedding vow.
Carefully Creating a honeymoon
With the aftershock of sensuality .
Blissfully biting I get a taste
Of what those working hands can do.
There is something about the risk
of being held between your lips, that seems awfully beautiful.
Because no matter the outcome
and how the simple craving begun,
with you, I always end up satisfied.
I’m glad you survived.
I’m glad you survived every one of your hard days;
Every day you didn’t want to exist.
I’m glad you chose to keep going
Even though it seemed next to impossible.
I’m glad you live to tell your story
Of a broken little boy with a broken family;
Because every time you do,
I see the way your eyes shine
and the corners of your mouth that smile,
And think of how lifeless mine would be without you.
And I am glad you stayed alive.
You stayed alive for me.
The Bear and the Prince
Princes voice echoes in cold corridors of how he has slain dragons upon dragons, and has won glory beyond attainable value.
Bears growl rumbles in the cold night as he finds his house of safety, a young girl with a timid past.
The girl whispers to bear as he nestled down to sleep, the story of the prince and the girl. How he would slay any dragon that came in his path if it meant the possession of a body of a young girl.
And as Bear tumbles into a sleep, he lays as a safety across the lap of the girl who understands he is no dragon, but has no fear of the prince with her bear in her arms.
I am not the first one you loved,
And thinking of it hurts.
Because the demons of comparison
Bite the hardest when I’m down.
While I bleed from fresh wounds,
She may be the first one you loved
But I am lucky enough to be the last.
You are a lethal dose of ecstasy,
A panacea to my pain.
Chemicals pump in my veins,
Like a train wreck of seduction
And a chokehold of pleasure.
I am addicted.
You are a poem, a sonnet of sweet dreams and a recipe of rhythm. Your touches are consonants of compromise as vowels of vibrato shiver their way down my spine in a numbing way of life changing honesty. My careful poet, you embrace the pages like a masterpiece and glide your fingers across the paper with a secret for tomorrow; a new posey. A new promise. A new set of script for me to slip inside.
Soft lips attach themselves to a lobe of experience. The gentle breaths of existence seep into my cerebral as my eyes roll in the back of my head, begging for not only this, or you, but rather a forever of us. A destiny that longs for the kind of intimacy designed by love. And damn I am in love with that.
He wore a crown atop his head like a steeple of self esteem. Laced with fine diamonds and rubies, he captivated others; painting a beautiful layer of deceit to distract you from the smell of his rotting core. He was quick to promise the world, but quicker to distract you from the reality of it with those fine pieces of jewelry that sat in his possession. He drew me in closer, begging me to be closer and as soon as my Prince touched lips with mine, an emptiness left my soul. An emptiness of my own individuality evacuating my body. Those lips disconnected from mine and the moment they did I saw he placed my own ruby right between his lips. Something I could never reacquire, sitting t...
I call him prince, because he called me princess. A name of royalty that he laced with ruby hearts over a picture I didn’t ask for. My prince was dressed not in shining armor but rather under armor, the stupid pair of American flag underwear he wore as I told him about my mom who was undergoing a suicide attempt, he responds with those Stars and Stripes back in a mirror selfie with “I know what could make you feel better,” and it only made me feel nothing. But yet I couldn’t leave him. I couldn’t stop talking to my prince who rode in on his horse of deceit, how he told me his parents were separating and begged me to send him a picture as it was “the only thing to make me feel better.”...
Subtle secrets dwell in a soft lobe
Echoing off calcium walls
Sinking into the cerebral
Like a butterfly fluttering to the floor
A cry for help so quiet
No one can hear as it sinks deeper
Kissing safety goodbye
You touch your lips to my ear
And take flight like the butterfly
Muttering softly to anyone who listens
That your whisper isn’t quiet
It is screaming to the brain
As it turns out, even if you were right, you lose the fight just because you didn’t have the words powerful enough to sway them over.
I have to stop having the urge to text him.
But my mind goes back to old habits of when I had control.
In a second, just like a snap of the fingers... the lights flicker in your mind and make you question our relationship. You question whether it is the right time but you have never stopped to question why the stars would align so perfectly for such imperfect people. You say we are too young and it all happened too fast, but I only work in extremes that are extremely unforgiving. In another life things may have worked out just the way you want, and maybe even with another girl. But I thank god every day that I met you when I did. Because sometimes people aren’t called into our lives to find us, sometimes they are there to find themselves.
My thoughts will run around, make some sound, drive me near insane.
Because in the end, after all, whispers are just screams into the brain.
Why care what others say when Millions tell pluto it’s not a planet, but it just keeps spinning in its same old ways.
I want to be the strawberry crushed between your teeth.
The sticky sweet smear of smile spread across your cheeks
What I mean is
I’d love to be destroyed just to see you smile.
We are both afraid of water; but I find my self crossing oceans for a man who wouldn’t jump a puddle for me.