I sit heron my bed, at
36 years of age
Thinking about my life experience
that has led me to this stage,
I have decided to let
go of the past,
in order to live in the present
and live everyday
as if it were my last
I have things to be great ful for
even if I have only but a few
I'm alive, and I am well,
even though I have a few problems
with my health
My mind begins to clear
then refill with the dreams
I hold so dear
With every plan I begin to make
I know it's my future that's
Felling positive about my future now
as I'm guessing you can tell
I will always consider you as my friends
Because you have helped me
Why can't I forget my past?
I don't know, and it's pulling
me down, making me low,
It's making my life such a struggle
all because I'm not letting it go
I want to feel strong, and get my life into an even flow, bit I put
my self down more than you know
I need to take some time out, to
figure out what I'm a out
I thinking of writing a book
later on I'll let you take a look
I will finish the first line
within a week
fresh new ideas are what I seek
I have the paper in front of me now
But all my inner put downs
are giving me hell
And now I'm gonna be sick
Please pass me a towel
I need to start idea mapping
To get this thing happening
I need to stop making it a big deal
and start writing to ...
I started writing a letter on here yesterday and the words would not come out right and I was not in a happy mood, so I wrote the first paragraph of it then I deleted it as I did not think it was fair on anybody else.
I am thinking about writing a story and getting it published, that would be cool, I used to write stories way back when I was in primary school, and I really did enjoy it, when I first started writing, my uncle brought me this little brown book to write my stories in, and it me out of reach of the school bullies.
It is raining tonight in my country and it has been doing it on and off all day, even though it was fine early this morning, I love it when it rains over night, it so...
Had my counselling session today and I described how I felt about myself and it was all horrible things that I felt about myself and then she asked me where the proof was that I was all those things and I could not find a thread of proof as to where the stuff I was writing about myself was coming from, so she than made me write positive thoughts beside them all and now I am feeling 💯 better for doing so.
We are having fish and chips tonight for tea tonight, yum, I really love this app as it allows me to write to other people and it is very nice that you can choose your papers and stamps.
I am going to try and be more positive in my letters so I can attract more people
I hope you a...
Well... My sister and brother left for Aussie this morning, it was anther reminder for me about the things I am never going to have as I am not allowed to do, because I feel and been told that I am just not good enough for people or things to happen good in my life.
Oh well... At least my cat loves and respects me, sorry for being so negative at the start, I am so scared of what the future holds for me, as I don't expect to get very far in life , even though I try too.
I wish there was a way out for me, I am not someone who thinks very highly of myself, due to past experiences.
I am going for anther counselling session this Friday, and this time I will tell her exactly how I feel and see t...
So.... My younger sister and her husband are up this weekend as they have recently sold their house, they have brought their dog up with them... A large chocolate lab and she is so cute 😍❤️
Meanwhile my poor cat will not come inside due to this dog being here so. . What I did was went to the neighbors and fed him there last night, and then went around the opposite side of the house with the other decking, and feed him there tonight as he told me he was there by meowing outside my window and I then spent a lot of time with him and now my friendsl, he is a very happy kitty.
Tomorrow morning they leave and on Wednesday the fly to Australia to live.
I sit-in my bedroom a lot when I am at home, as I have trouble socially and I also feel ashamed of myself even though I have done nothing wrong.
When i go into town, I always smile at people, just to see who is willing to smile back at me, and at least 50 percent of them do, I have learned to do this since the Christchurch terrorist attack in my country.
The reason I do this is to make people feel good and safe when they walk down the street, even though my town is a small town in the other side of the island.
I encourage everyone to do this the next time they walk down or up their street, you will be surprised how many people are willing to smile back at you, and you will feel good about ...
If I could find travel, I think I would travel back into the past rather than the future, as the future holds the suprises that that come forth into our life.
What would I go back to the future and change the outcome of ? You may ask, well, I would go back to 1962 and stop the deaths of both marylin Munroe and president John f Kennedy.
I would then come back to 1982 and change the outcome of the death of princess Grace, I would then go to the year 1997 and bring back versache, Diana and Dodi.
I would then come to the year 2012 and bring back Liz Taylor, and the. I would go right back to the year 1912 and bring back all the passengers that died on the Titanic.
I would try and make people i...
It is winter in the country, which I live in and in the late afternoon the erases it's existance for a little over an hour or two.
I grab hold of my phone and search for an internet connection, but there is none to be found,.
Just as a family member arrives home from their daily work duties, the power and internet return
I then brew a cup of hot tea, and come back to the bedroom, with a look of Glee spread upon my facr, and my phone still in it's position to which I had left it.
I then place the boiling hot beverage upon the flat surface of the bedside table and begin to recommence the use of my phone.
As this next month commences, I hope to do and learn more in order to grow as a person.
I choose to make friends and a be befriended,and learn from each and every person, in order for the above selfgrowth to occoour.
May this month bring more happyness and joy to every man, woman and child that is existst on this planet, but may we also remember the fallen and the sick, for everyone is truely a gift
I am feeling a lot better today, since I have started using this app I feel so supported by the letters staff and e everyone else and I thank you all for that and this is an app that I will keep using💗 as I feel 💯 at home using it.
Sorry, if sometimes I seem a little down, I will try to do better, as I try and better myself every day and I am trying to not let the depression hold me back, but I am happier than I was six years ago and I feel that I have come a long way.
This is the place i want to be 😀
Really feeling a bit sad and lonely today as I have no friends my own age, i find it really hard to make friends, and I am scared that I will always be alone.
I don't even know what a friend actually is as I have never been given a chance to prove myself, all they see is a vision impaired loser on me, and I have tried so hard and now I am tired and ready to finally give up.
Your welcome to befriend me if you want to as I know I am a good person
I will leave it up to you to decide!
Yay, I finally brought myself a new journal, and I have already written the first entry and it was rather positive as I have not written in a while.
So, I encourage you to do the same as it has been a big life saver for me, as I am able to write when I am happy or sad, it has also given me as way to think what's important to me, and helped solve problems in my life.
I hope I get a partner sooner father than later as I spend time alone and lonely, fearing that I am not good enough, or maybe I am meant to be on my own, or are better off on my own who knows what's around the corner
I was dianosed with diabetes last year and i jist put myself into denyale hoping it would go away but now i am om meds for it and started eating more healthy food and drink.
Even though i have just started doing this i feel better already, i now know that i could beat this if i tried and i am going to beat this💗