EXCERPTS OF AN OLD ARTIST:
my hindsight memories are strong
tried recalling it for what had gone wrong
this nature's call goes too strong
the phase shall subdue for it's too long
trees have shed their foreskin, leaving them unamused
"not too young for a cigar, not to old for a walk"
i remember what he used to say, his last words were parched over his astray
to believe this world a myth, to recondite
revisions of his old, old days, i remember how he used to say- we leant to surge a particular tray, had we seen those delicate pray, the nature's call gone numb
now, we are lost in the long run,
he'd have this series of questions,
frame of a set of individuals, locked their existence in his ...
ALL I WISH FOR YOU :
// to my eclipses to yours
will you be my ally for cure
tresses of your enigma endure
I'll assure you for a compassionate lure,
this heart relies over this grief
i combine things to make it brief
you're the fairer part of this dark soul
and the sanity that could take me howl
i remember you for this last time,
will it occur again, will you occur again
I'll wait for the last time -
"तुम लिखो जो किताब वो पन्ने होजाएंगे
तुम लिखो जो किताब वो पन्ने होजाएंगे
याद रहेगा सिर्फ दरिया, वो किनारे मिट जायेंगे"
i saw you the last time today, my crippling thoughts are too reversed
you are like a shining star standing in front of me, innocent and quite a bit far,
i laughed off thos...
// the driven force of uncanny -
I walk away, panting heavily i walk away,
your scornful touch keeps reminding me of the frivolity i once embarked, a long occasional pause-
when this evening would stop howling and people might lay assertive over my burnt pieces of flesh, a perpetual state of gullibles to make every fucking point over and over again making me a kind of deity, steeping over my flesh and making headlines is a generalized veiw from the above, i lay here - no flesh, no body, the leftovers are conceited, here you'd find plenty of runaways
with no bloody incestuous touches and blurry images of my body burning-out strand after strand, the religion of moloch is higher in proportion,...
// Afternoons still have a threshold of those flickering moments, gradually fading -
the moment you'd hold upto something so extravagantly special, and then the greys of the day starts to exploit it's superiority over you, things will keep moving momentarily, but you, yes you'd no longer have an urge to wake up and start a whole new day waiting ahead,
the irony lies somewhere in-between those deliberate attempts and then failing to do so without giving much thought.
But, hey, are you not missing out something without getting to gel-up amongst everyone who're trying some or the other way to help you out,
a different scenario happens when you accidentally put an effort and bother about pe...
// Leave me like the onset of summer - warm, fuzzy but warm,
Leave me like birds fetch in their nest to outreach their new beginning
Leave me when there're stars shining bright, so that when you leave I'd not starve to death, and have something to look upto,
Leave me, leave me as soon as you're delusional of my belonging, you'll not startle for me being a choice or a compromise,
Leave me when the morning sun would not surprise you as it used to, happiness is a choice to paddle upon, nobody ever has the right to take that away
Leave me, when apparently the call were being answered due the fear of missing out
Leave me when you're not capable of the love ought to giveaway
Leave me, let me go, ...
// Who would like to run through, and collapse in the middle of a night finding tremors running down the ventricle, and perhaps has the very audacity to let you flow while you sleep in,
Kind of finding a reckless gust subside nearby you to just breathe in the fresh air, the solitude to intrude yourself pouring into this subliminal mess, it's excruciating and plainly beautiful,a kind that reflects.
Overwhelming to have one on the other side of the road to catch you, it's a shame to not respond to it. It is sinful but the truth can withheld till it's the right time to confront.
Them are silly,flawed, busting the myth of selflessness, and how it supposed to be done in need.
// To dissolute everything and gain nothing instead. What does everyone's steady mind reflexes tells you every single day?
Each filled with turmoils and avalanche, being unreasonable and sly,but that's okay.
What would exactly be the situation where you feel absolute righteous yet has an urge to backfire your motions to tell you that you're wrongly interpreted.
That's life you see.
I've a cousin who'd stare at me with little pretty eyes, in a perpetual state to consider what his sister is thinking at that moment, maybe he's doubtful or thinking or has not even an inch of an idea to perceive from. *sweet*
The question is how to make yourself aware of the consequence and also to let one sunk...
// What do you see when you look around~
You might see a bunch of happy people, they come into the category of wanted.
These flock keeps that *goofing* around phase always mongering among themselves. They're fun, sometimes witty and are good to interact with. There will always be good days, and a trail of bads, yet there'd be zero sign of negativity around.
Second category fills up the overtly satisfied ones,
Boundless achievers, never into any perplexed mood of dwelling anything that's 'impractical'. They're the most desirables. Their more than a privilege brain has accepted that frailty can't be appreciated. Well, okay even i think it's not. :P no, kidding. Also, for them none can be as s...
//It is slowly etching in my soul that somedays i get horribly active and grin and chunk with elusive words the other.
I find it very dubious as one provides me with a bunch full of new adventures and fills aim to this shrinking mess, the other simultaneously resolve any disputes inside out,pensively daunting to words those are inversely scribbled on my soul, i don't churn out words, i let it flow like it's something enormous and that i need to do it to keep up to the never ending obstacles.
One leaves with fresh dew on summer morning, that lights up the soul to shutter any negatively. Other earnestly taking up chunks of details, small big biggest or slightest discomforts to some grand whi...
// Poetries has been so flattering these days.
There're twilights and couples in love. You see men marrying each other, and women in love do wonders just to be with the man of their dream.
The tiniest of swirling desires are being manifested, people doing rounds for being the most applicable.
I'm seeing poetry evolving to something more prudish and material. No more serve as a more realistic version of our truth, it emerges somewhat like a pallet of dreams delicately placed on our laps to be picked.
How can one gets something without no actual efforts or in that case no stubborn solidarity and persistence.
As for me, poetry is you, your willingness for not suppressing your thoughts and val...
// I bleed poetry
It's my hand that cries that it holds the gun for me to shoot an irreversible pain which it never deserved to be through.
My head it juggles, shrugs up to an uncanny chaos. I blurt out the darkened truth that throbbed my tongue, bruised my neck.
My eyes. It's a free willed pool that blows every now and then when i see the wrenching prying of pains flattered onto my already stigmatized brain.
I flawed to an extend, intruding illusions and dillema's running like a flashing enigma, i tried stopping it for a while and let go for it is disfunctional for a youth to not vent out possibly when needed.
You love yourselves, you grow up dwelling onto the myth of loving someone else.
What if. What if my poetries don't need you, or my writings don't bleed.
You still twitched my prefixes and groped me down to non existence.
I'm here trembling through those bruises yet again.
Not being afraid of your voices but your slouching frit.
Slaying my own life and drowning on yours.
Is it possible to not to be cure?
I'm vain and naive and blunt.
It is cult, it is bold. Not the usual that was told.
To traumatized and to be betrayed to glow more.
Purging into a devious soul.
Until next time you meet me here, I'll be no longer in your fear!
// I wonder where this deep sky ends
across those giant crepes, the sunflower mends.
Sunlight on my window, has just started to fade
These affirming clouds has yet another story to shade
Why is me to stay and thee to go always has a say?
Why can't we both stay as it is, the same way!
I say, you resemble my fear, those ghostly surreal,
You're might, I'm hay,
And here, I'm there to stay.
Your embracing touch delight the day where I'm profusely worn-out to suffice to gray
If I, the darkness, you strike brighter than the sun,
If I, the dawn, you're the moon, one which's there to pass,
I come everyday, so do you,
I hear people's scream and cry, unlike you.
Nights have forever been t...
Always at the verge of falling apart
On nights when hands still tremble to hold a pen,
Words routinely wrapped enfeebled across the mind like a princed crisscross,
Trying to slip in back to oblivion,
It overlap all the excitement, all the insecurities built in inside are in a floating motion
Given are all the subjugated experiences, starting from a nib, slightly making way to the front, hand shake a bit -
Always in a neutral mode of escapism and frailty
My parameters always stuck onto my instance, that persistence of going forward is still on hold,
Thee path I'm ought to be told, ough't be told."
In search of weaving silence emitting from brooding daylight,
Grasp over a wall over that edgy bridge
Consumed by the overwhelming solitude,
Eyes that were staring from a distant, hazy and blare
Came a little closer now, one could vividly notice an uncanny emotion on those pair,that seemed holding a lot wisdom
Ever wonder a plant having a sheer potential to bloom yet didn't get the needed nurturing? They flared with the clouds withered amongst the rocks and submits to the binging darkness.
They're equally crooked and worn out, yet calmly waiting for the storm to pass by-
The chaos to remember, the fringes to decipher her limits that holds a lifetime of struggle and grace, equally manifeste...
Procrastination and stress reside
Tripling the thoughts that stare
Crippled along the lines beside
Pondering upon memories blare
"I've been there for a while now,
Stuffing my mind with a bling now
All that there is a thing now
Mercy myself for the fling now"
Analyzing things per the blow
Do i remember where it all go?
Startling midway right on the flow
Meanwhile, where did it all go?
Trust and friendship, both have sank
Hefty my heart, eyes gone all blank.
Cajoling mind to be reluctant and loud
Relevancy of plans all fixed yet shroud
Melting away stirring thought that bound
Here's to the voice that desires to be ...
Sometimes i feel paranoid, detailing every little thing that made me feel sick to the stomach.
When i say, paranoid, not only does it indicate one's vulnerability, but inner rusted seldom,
Bunch of things that are built for the purpose of staying forever reversed loop down into a mud of obscenity.
Gestures of people dropping to somewhat unappealing, and procrastination taking a toll like always, enrolling into some uncanny chaos,
Impromptu dilemma's suddenly starts pouring its magnitude all over again,
Do i seriously need this!
One question, that has a hundred different perspect. Endless self proclaimed lessons, encircling with the very same conclusion,each time.
December reminds me of some...
Fear sounds like an echo, stumping hearts jaunted with heavy emotions,
Calibrating all of it in a small process, grasping everything readily possible,
Compelling to bounce back to the beginning.
Fear sounds like, there's an outgoing trembling of affairs
Not more than a year ago, sudden burst of vibes combust into a dreaded spree of consequences, one taking place at a time,
Each groping a piece of life within a soul.
Fear feels like, the late winter afternoons,
Subtle yet obnoxious, feels alot like when there's a life on and beyond infinity
Sun settling off soon and it's ambience did drooled a part, lately what's been missing.
Happenstance of anticipation sink in, glances becomes more pecu...
I know it sounds a little overboard, trust me i really owe you. A lot actually.
My ever so clumsy self, trodden with engulfed choices yet clueless regarding everything, you seen to be standing strong beside me.
When tears soaked up in the tees, and insomnia took all over me, giving that small pep talk kinda brushed down my loneliness.
Times i used to curse myself for being so grumpy,insecure
But you friend, you believed in me, hold me, loved me and most importantly strengthened my inner values.
Also, when those creepy jokes reach out to others, brightening up their deemed days,making all those crinkly people laugh, you made a place for yourself.
Days when maa puts heaps of respo...
I lose the grip of time,
while wandering along the paths, raved, ravaged, broken.
To know people who meant so much days before are a days of past now.
Tormented words no more flunk, uttering seemed like a baggage.
I lose the grip of time,
Escaping brutal reality, fathom thoughts and negligence.
Not eligible to believe in the worldly entities
Experience framed into words and reality into illusion.
Stigma of trauma, lingered on the soul, refurbishing lives.
Contradictory thoughts, struggling to get back to the daily chores.
Desperate need for a composed stature of soul and body.
I lose the grip of time,
Drooling over the pages of memories
Someday, hoping for it to true
Perpetual state of our mind goes through countless vivid thoughts.
Some we make
Some make us.
Standing after a havoc crisis of emotions.
Raving the path, that may or may not be having the same circumstances.
Multiple thoughts flowing all over,
Regrets which had left imprint on the mind are still very much fresh.
Dodging all the odds, the brave heart still hope for some miracle.
Maybe one last chance ?
Subdued over the transparency of fringed conspiracy
Tickling downward right towards the rigid soul
Turmoil over the past framed up soliloquy, somehow converted every pricked thought to a more distinctive one.
Letting go is hard, often freezes into a moment of lifetime all in a go, the world falling apart right infront, and with every beat a part of the soul sulking, with friars of ashes of those lying memories, submerged into a dreaded spree of consequences,
Inflicting through veins effusively,
A way to way for a grundy path, the hues are almost shady to be remembered
Left alone being the old self, this time with scars and tresses of some unsaid truths.
Tendency of not being able to be enough is a long one,
One, I've been trying hard to let go.
Chaos whimsically streaming down the vein, like it's its own little source of enrichment.
Two, plethora of good and bad experiences can be summed up, considered as responsible.
Sooner or later, that void mess would be over, lights lurking upon you like an edgy ray of sun.
Vividness of the faces turning sour,
Words trembled like a doth of lies flattered as smoothly as butter.
Inches of knowing the known full lies or scornful truths.
There become a barrier, to protect, to save you from being misplaced, mistreated.
Awaited for the day to get to say -
"Yes, I've been trying to not try any furth...
Contemplating a new saga to diverse neutrality of our existence.
Dreamers dream a lie, of pieces of our piercing experience, all unfolded
One mistake, cost a handful of others
Procrastinations and indulgence of frothing pieces of lies
Barely covering us, till we sly
Living in a dilemma, all sloughs and hazy
A light enters, making life a lot easy.
That light, is none other than your hope to stay
Recovering your bruises and stick to slay
That light you conquer where you reach and grow
And, your life, seamlessly flow!
Imagination facades amidst the chaos
Tremors of past, shredded and shroud!
Brittle, old and used, fragments lingering on the soul
It tastes the same, bitter and sold.
Loopholes embedded amongst the cold
All that glitter are not gold.
Collapsed, shrinking down the nook
Sinking, shrinking taking back a look.
Shelves all empty, eyes felt weak
Wrecked up thoughts, fragility tweak.
Thorny alleviates the worldly flow
Silence, perseverance take a blow.
Lights peak in between the muddy stare
Giggling with a blazy glare.
Innocent, calm, pretend to look
Tripping could give a flaming shook.
Stop and stare for a moment or two
Lights are within, forming a blare of blue.
Amidst the volatility of life,
Rendered thoughts of intertwined situations surpassing our minds making it loose its strings.
Leading to a serious affairs of our past knocking the doors of our present.
As intimidating it seems, closeness might lead to another dreadful aftercome.
With a jerk of panic, the dream broke.
Slowly drifting away to a soothing calmness.
Lend me your wings and let me fly
Lost in the midway of the bushes
Lend me your wings and let me fly
How the Muses and the minstrels gushes!
Lend me your wings and let me fly
How my life flashes admidst the blank space
Flipping head upside down, the dreams slowed pace.
Lend me your wings and let me fly
My heart sank with every cry
Doodling all day and night
Faking the laughters and wry
My job is done, no i cannot try.
Bird! O bird. Holy Might.
Lend me your wings and let me fly?
Words don't really sprung up when i try to evaluate my feelings.
Somedays i feel alright, like a sunshine beaming all bright.
And get lost on the others, blaming myself for all the mishaps.
Brawling over my own existence,
Shattered yet a big smile lathered on.
Shielding all of those hurts and betrayals.
Yet, another Day.
Brand new journey for survival, dusk tilll dawn.
Prophecies, more prominent through the shadows of flattering entities,
Inflicting through veins effusively
Battled. Survived. Lived.
Whimsically turning the tables, changing the pallets of lifestyle
Every little piece crafted, nurtured.
Clinging through the virtue of believe,
Sticking to core values, authenticity lend a hand to hand demonstration.
Lost yet sane, led to an unknown, beautiful destination.
Why is it so important for us to remain updated?
Having the latest gadgets, to being that hot-mess, people generally admire.
Why. I ask you why for us is it so important to not be happy within us, without the cacophony of the noisy world, screaming to get adapted to this scorching numbness, we see these days.
Chain of untimely horizons bursting upon us, and we suddenly creating a lousy mess of our own being, influenced to quickly grasp that hyped affair.
Why couldn't we just stop awhile to borrow notebooks from our friends, instead of telling them to whatsapp us?
Why spending time with our family, has became a burden for us to deal with every single day?
Why politeness has'been replaced wit...