Bizarre Stage Of Life
The conundrum that my heart is in, can't be explained, but still, it's a try.
I never expected it to be this troublesome, to come out of negativity, now that life is offering me a chance to be happy again and I have already taken it.Still, there is a feeling of restlessness. I know, I am in a much better place now, considering the last 4 years of hardships and emotional torments that I have been through, yet my heart is in denial. It's not like the problems have fed away, sometimes I find myself in much-complicated situations than the previous ones.
But isn't that what life is about? You get out of one problem, just to enter into another one. So, the " another chance...
In My Heart.
Let's gather some moments,
Some of mine and some of yours,
Either worthwhile or worthless,
Whom we call our own,
And those who choose us as their selves.
चलो कुछ लम्हे बटोरते हैं,
कुछ मेरे, कुछ तुम्हारे,
कुछ मतलब-बेमतलब से,
जिन्हें हम अपना कहें,
और जो हमें अपना लें।
A Song That Carries You To The Avoided Path.
This is something, I suppose, every person might have felt. The feeling could be both bitter or sweet. There's always a song or many songs that speak to your soul.
I got married on 5th of last month, to the person I was with for the last thirteen years, who fought for me endlessly. What more could I have asked for, or for that matter any other young lady could have asked for?
May be, a beautiful wedding, where everyone has a smiling face.
May be, a wedding, where everyone is dancing and drinking and admiring the struggle that we have been through.
May be, a wedding, where I can call up my dear ones to join me on this special occasion and just...
As I read Unfeigned Believer. I remembered this person whose really dear to me and all the lines made me realize how much that one person matters to me.
It's really amazing to have a person like that. I'm glad you found yours
Hey there! Your work is really good. The pieces you write actually make sense that's why you've written them but what I mean to say is that they make me think about it twice. Really appreciate your work. Good going.
Tick, Tock... Tick, Tock!!!
Struggles and time, they go hand in hand. Don't they? I have grown up listening to- "Have patience, you will get everything on time"; or, "Time heals everything"; or, "it's not your time yet"; or, "you will get there on time" and what not.
And at the same time I have also heard- "You should get married now, there's time for everything and you are already late" and I am sure, people who are already married listens to- "You should have a kid now, as you know the clock is ticking"; who are facing career crises, like me of course, listens to- "Stop killing time and do something". As if we are happy this way.
I have realized one thing. Time never committed anythin...
What do people intend when they say "Move On"?
Sometimes I wonder, how life plays a conundrum with us. A 13 year old relationship, which was "Meant To Be" , just 3 months before turns into " Never Going To Happen". People who love you intensely, your kin, friends and even strangers who barely know you, hears the story for the first time and asks you to " Move On".
I know they want better things for me, they want to see me happy and going. But I simply don't understand the concept of moving on. They asked me to dismiss every source of contact with him. I did. They asked me to stop weeping over it. I did. They asked me to stop babbling about what has happened. I did. Now, they all are at p...
VALUES OR FETTERS?
Ethical values play an incredibly vital role in one's life. We are who we are because of them. But sometimes these values, if not altered, can become a fetter for you or your loved ones. There's a thin line between values and anecdotes still people seem to disregard that. I have personally seen many relationships fall off the roof in the name of values and I don't know how many more will go through the same dilemma. I just feel that somewhere we need to be a little flexible with our values, as things are not always black or white, there's a gray area too which challenges our anecdotes to mold a little.
Or in the name of values, we are simply attempting to get away with ev...
MILLENNIAL'S CAN OF WORMS
Life treats everyone differently, but there are some common traits in people of similar age groups. I am talking about Millennials, the group to which I belong. The group that is facing mid-life crises. Where they are unaware of life's doing. Whether it is their personal life or professional, everything is at stake. And their mind, well... it is somewhere in the middle of recapturing the good past and reinforcing the positive attitude towards the future. Every shoulder carrying a baggage of delusions, risk, failure, fear and what not. I mean there might be positive things too, but mostly, it's really hard to keep yourself positive during this period of time.
ARISEN OF A MOTHER
When she was bearing me,
A fling of motherhood crossed her criticised ego.
When she got to know that someday she'll behold me,
She knew she is turning into an altruist.
When she had an altercation with my father over a gender of mine,
She knew it was me who was breathing inside her.
When she had me in her arms for the first time,
She knew her soul was melting inside.
And when she looks
at me now,
She see's her melted soul rejuvenating inside me.
Love you MAA.
Happy Mother's Day!
THE PERFECT ESCAPE.
Waking up, looking for a job, visiting different portals, attending calls, updating resumes, back to kip. That's a never ending loop from past a month. This is it, my breaking point has arrived.
I saw it today in the morning when maa called up to ask about my well being and I bust down in tears.
And then a much needed speech from her own life experience book- "Anything that comes easy is not worth enjoying, things that come hard are more enjoyable and you cherish them for a lifetime. Do something that cheers you up, get hold of an escape from this loop and when you feel like starting it again, get back with full enthusiasm".
I know she was right, in reality, most o...
Loved your way of writing, it was a pleasure reading through the letters.
TOO WELL TO BE UNSAID.
In this running life, everyone has buried their true self somewhere deep down. So deep that no one bothers to delve that deeper. And even if someone does try and bring that up in front of anyone, things change because the second you stop speaking the receiver starts judging.
Trust me when I say this plenty of talks that are left unspoken are mainly because of "judgments". Just leave the other people, by the end of the everything, you yourself will start judging the thoughts that come's up in your mind. Your head will start calculating whether to bring that thought out loud in front of someone or is that too cheap or shady or illogical or immature or too blah blah ju...
THING OF FEATHERS.
When she spread her eyes wide, she found herself lying on the grass. She sees around and realizes that she was certainly not in her bed but in the woods. She calls out loud, but in vain. At that place was an empty silence, all she could hear around was the melody of wind whistling in her ears.
Suddenly an outlandish thought crossed her mind, why is she not scared? Ironically, she was calmer than usual, she wasn't just admiring the beauty of nature, but was absorbing every bit of it. And soon she gained that she wasn't the only one admiring nature, nature was also walking in her rhythm.
The dull leaves after inhaling her aroma came back to life. The wind went tipsy afte...
FEELING OF VENGEFULNESS.
Time and situations, both really leave a remarkable change in oneself. The same is happening with me. I don't know when I changed that much. When I look back, I see myself as a simple and ordinary girl. A girl, if given a little to her can give all she has in return. There was a time when I used to feel the pain in a very different manner, and I possessed a very different opinion towards punishments. That was the time when I used to believe that karma will come back to them and God will punish them for their own deeds. But when someone hurts you not once, not twice but as many times as they induce the chance and try to destroy your relation with those people who me...
STRANGE ENCOUNTER WITH SELF
One morning I woke up early, so early that my alarm's mouth just dropped. Well, now that I am officially done with my studies and particularly jobless, waking up that early is really a huge task to make out. I went outside, walking barefoot in the grass and feeling the wind on my face I hear the voice of my maa saying " So! What's the plan?". Honestly I don't even know what to say.
" Ho jaega maa" it wasn't even digestible for me, I don't know how maa took it. All day this question was poking me very much. I tried, but I couldn't see a suitable job for me. It's been 3 months all I do is sleep, eat and read. I kept novel aside, looking at the ceiling and running m...
WAKE UP CALL....
It was 3:07 AM exactly, I can still recall the feeling I had after seeing your name on my phone. It's been months since we last spoke. I couldn't trust my eyes and then I realized that the phone has been ringing quite a while.
I piled up my senses back and answered the phone. It was him all scared and high. My eyes wide open as if I never slept, asking him what happened. Exhaling out all the air he held inside him, I could hear him saying " we met with an accident ".
I got numb, this was the first time I felt out of words. He called my name thrice with the question ahead "Are you there?". I drew myself together and asked about his well being.
There was a long pause, ...
YOUR EYES MEET MINE.
As I spread my eyes, I found you looking at me so intensely so beautifully. As if they were trying to say something, something like I can see you sleep all night long.
When I went deep in your eyes, I was able to watch the way you pictured me, us. When your fingers were rolling in my hair, It was known to me that how much you were cherishing every bit of a time. Then all of a sudden our hand meets, fingers playing with each other you kiss my forehead asking me to forget everything, a tiny drop of tear rolls down my cheek.
Your eyes were feeding me a comfort I needed that moment. I could see care for me and also a sense of relief. Your eyes were convinced that I am bl...
WHO AM I ??
Life changes every passing instant, so does we. The way of handling the situation differ. How we are acting today, may not be the same as it will be tomorrow because tomorrow we will be having more mature solutions for today's problem.
This is the beauty of life, with time we get all the answers of our questions. And those answers make a bunch of changes in us, by the time we realize that we are not the same person, life opens up another chapter.
And again we end up with the same question-WHO AM I?
I used to think that people themselves make their lives complicated...complications never come searching us, it's us who go running to embrace them.
But I was wrong..completely wrong, one thing that I have understood through my personal experiences is that no matter how hard we try to live a perfect life to stay out of troubles, if they are meant to be then they're meant to be.
Sometimes even if you are right and so hurt still everyone wants you to make peace with it, to apologize for others mistakes and on the top of that you are supposed to remain happy without any complains. How is that even possible? Is it karma and if it is, then why am I the only one who is paying...
THE DAY AFTER THE PROPOSAL.
Life has changed in the way that you were the first person I thought about when I woke up in the morning. The thought of being in a relationship was giving me goosebumps. Standing at the threshold of a new relationship so many mixed feelings were there inside me and on the top of it the butterflies they made a nest in my belly.
There is nothing more beautiful than the initial get to know each other days of a relationship. You and only you revolving in my head 24*7, well that is something common in past years and today. You truly keep my mind occupied.
10 years of a beautiful journey of love and It still feels like yesterday. The best part is it still feels ra...
Sometimes all you want from life is that one person who believes in your instincts more than you do. But in reality instead of getting such unfeigned believers you will meet people that consider breaking your enthusiasm and make you feel worthless.
I am so glad that I have you that has faith in me and my decisions more than I do. Without your belief I won't be standing here where I am today in my life.
So thank you so much for always being there for me and for always believing in me. My life has become so easy because I have you by my side.
That was my first time in the metro you were coming to pick me up from Rajeev Chowk. I was standing there alone waiting for you to come and suddenly someone holds me from the back, that was you.You took me by surprise, but seeing you after the gap of 5 months that surprise was worth taking..
For a minute or so I forgot where we were standing, I hugged you so tightly that I can feel your heart pumping fast out of excitement. It took me a moment to come back to reality and hear what you were trying to say about taking a metro for home.
And then we took a wrong metro, which caused us delay of 2 hrs. We were so busy talking that we didn't even realize until it was the las...
THE DIVERSENESS OF THOUGHTS.
A year back, I had a whole different prospective towards life.. I have had everything planned out in my career and now a sudden change of mind actually saying a change of heart will be a lot better is troubling me so much.
In May, 2016 I will be done with my masters degree in computers and here I am clueless about what next. About a year ago I thought of becoming a lecturer and now this would be the last thing I want to pursue in. I am so done with computers now and when it comes to my interests all I can think of is WRITING..
The only problem is that I don't have confidence in my writing although I am not new but still. This could be the best or the worst de...
Waking up at 6:00 am, I went outside home feeling the touch of gentle wind on my face. As I was walking towards the statue circle, I saw people who were feeding birds. At the corner there was an old couple sitting on a Bench and playing chess and a deaf person who runs a tea stall was serving everyone tea and singing everyone songs.
I was so mesmerized and touched because such sort of things have become so rare. That tea person, I don't know who he was or what his name was. All I know now, is that that he is a perfect example of acceptance and moving on.
The old couple who were playing chess, all I could see in their eyes was the trust, love and a sense of belongingness...