|Mama to ‘Salvation in the Ruins’ TMOTS coming soon!|
“I ain’t never love nobody- ‘cuz my fallen king ain’t never loved me—
But his wandering eyes loved everything else,
Lusting after all that was lovely.
But it was never my fat thighs or dark eyes of mystery.
... My wide hips blocking views.
A queens assassination—
The beloved scorned.
The fool who never loved.” -Nettie August •
(Photo via unsplash.com—Nick Fewings)
My bed is empty. The cage is full. The prison walls collapse.
They call me bad, but I am good,
I promise I am good.
I call out to papa in the night, but daddy disappeared.
They call him bad, but he is good,
I promise he is good.
Brothers and sisters link arms and hearts that our souls may never be lonely...
They call us bad, but we are good,
We know that we are good.
One year and one month ago today, I graduated from college-something that always seemed but a dream...far, far away. People never agreed with my decision of going to non-traditional high school and going to college to major in something that they had never heard of. Nobody had ever prepared me for it. There were no stories of successes or victorious triumphs...but only assumptions and questions, abandonment and betrayal from distant family because of the path I chose for my life and because I was living a dream that their eyes would never see.
I had to go to college. I was only sixteen when I graduated from high school. I set off on a journey that terrified me. It was like jumping from...
Look her in the face.
Do you recognize this place?
The map of all the roots of your hate.
She always loved behind her lifeless eyes that you caused with your manslaughter in disguise.
Looking through her in your intoxicated phase...
You shot your poison through her veins.
Aspiring to a level of dopeness unseen-
Now wavering in the ravine in between.
Growing from the shattered child to weep.
Broken men and women,
You killed her in her sleep,
But now she is awake,
I said, look her in the face!
The time is now gone-
The sand escaping from blown, antique glass...
Into the wind overseas,
In a time exchange.
Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, indeed everything that is in the heavens and the earth; Yours is the dominion, O LORD, and You exalt Yourself as head over all.
In some ways, when I examine my life, I feel like an ATM. People push my buttons for withdrawals and deposits. But the deposits are toxicity and the withdrawals are my kindness and patience.
Then, they kick me when I am empty. Then they go inside the bank to realize that it is not the machine’s fault, but they have insufficient funds in their accounts. And in their anger, they stage an armed robbery.
It’s a holdup—everybody freeze!
- Nettie August
When I’m not here, I’m on Instagram @thenettieaugust and
Just in case my awesome pen pals wanted to keep in touch.
Have a blessed rest of the week!
May our kings rest in power,
And forever in our hearts.
Though forced from earthly homes-may they be welcomed into Heaven.
It all fell to the floor,
Every curse on every strand.
She stood in mighty liberation.
It’s incredible how much a person can change you--and you don’t even notice until you’ve been changed so much that you hardly recognize yourself. They have distorted you so much that nothing feels the same. Your processes are the same, but your feelings are not. A sense of emptiness overcomes you that is often associated with a loss.
I am trying my best to change myself back--but where have I gone?
I long to be restored.
I want to show the love that I didn’t receive-
I want to speak the life that enemies tried to take away-
I want to be the light in the room of darkness-
But where do I begin when I am lost in those who rejected all of the above?
And midnight screams to the skies.
From under the comfort of the covers,
I am prostituted for the multitude of others-
Time after time.
Maybe my life just ain’t mine.
But maybe the hope among the lifeless is just to see some brokenness, shine.
But as for evil monstrosity that bought and sold me-
Kiss my black my behind.
They’ve already violated what now, nobody can find.
Goodbye, as I ascend to achieve the purpose of the divine.
...I had become so ugly.
I had become my feelings and my past. I had become the words of hatred and despair.
I became the face of hopelessness and jealously.
I became not what I wanted to be...but the cup of poison provided to me by history’s traitors.
I became lethal.
"The curses of the city drove me out.
The evil swallowing ignoramuses...
They locked me up with chains & cut my flesh.
Sweet music, whisper in my ear & lead me to liberation.
Shoot me again forgotten child, now a pissed off old man, half dead, half drunk, drinking cheap liquor."
Digging deep into my past, trying to make sense of the trauma from the very people that birthed me.
Becoming alive as we drowned in the unforgiving waves.
A voice filled with sensuality---
Screaming freedom from the depths of his soul.
Forsaking the brutality of his tortured, exploited mentality.
Eyes as I had never seen them...
Lips that I had never planned to kiss---
As his heart's revelation continued...
Stripped down and beautiful----
Unclothed and unafraid.
We all come from some pretty incredible backgrounds. Some of us come from very painful experiences, but it has grown and strengthened us.
My past has offered me a rebirth that has given me great faith, love, peace, and perseverance.
Abandonment has taught me to embrace where I am accepted.
Pain has allowed me to honor and live in my peace.
Betrayal has told me to guard my heart and protect my inner self.
Tell me about your rebirth ❤️
You are the same,
But in different forms.
I’ve met you a million times,
And yet, you never stuck around.
You are the same, and yet I see
A renewed evolution each time.
I see a refreshing spring...
And still I thirst.
May your cursed nonsense live in rebuke.
It arises at the crack of dawn, birthed from your cracked lips,
With the stench of your unbrushed teeth.
And to think,
All this time, I thought I was fine.
Celebrated by my sunkissed sisters.
Throwing confetti. Melanin overflow.
Comments from fallen kings,
And broken queens,
Poison me and lead to my demise at sunrise.
•Love me for the sake of love-
•I’m just a human being.
•I want more friends for I have much love to give.
•You don’t have to think I’m pretty, but why don’t you like my pictures?
•If I hated you I would have to think about you.
•You all can remember me when I’m gone...because one day I will be.
I need not fear, for the kingdom of God is upon me, and I am one of His chosen.
Today, I got a word of freedom...even before the sermon.
For months, I named my seed healing-
But in an instant, she was called freedom.
Divinely, supernaturally...words of liberation encircled my head and filled my heart...
Until I finally started believing-
What I always wanted to believe in.
I just celebrated my 21st birthday and had felt such an overflow of gratefulness. I felt the peace, presence, and favor of God. It was the most spiritual and meaningful birthday that I have ever experienced. As the day was coming to an end, I began to wonder why the magic felt like it was disappearing. Why did the celebration have to end?
Well, the answer is, it didn't have to end. I can celebrate as long as I live. Every day there is something to celebrate, we simply must look deep –and sometimes not so deep, within ourselves to realize all the blessings that nothing compares to. The very breath that I breathe in is wor...
My soul needs feeding || My wounds need healing || Yet life’s painful inflictions made me and strengthened my character || Being thrown out by many allows me to find my place || And my discomfort allows me to recognize peace ||
I’m ashamed to have silenced my own voice, especially over pivotal things that matter.
I may not be able to change the hard heart of someone who wants to hate...
But I can encourage those who want to love.
Guard the precious crystal that is your heart. Never allow worldly poison to contaminate the core of your being. Life happens and storms rage, but you don’t have to allow yourself to become the cold, hard evil that may have warred against you in the battlefields before.
You are royalty among the powerless masses that may have dwelled within the very gravel you fought on.
The void of something left behind. . .
The agony of words mistaken. . .
The wound of something tragically taken. . .
The ravages of rejection. . .
The flashbacks of childhood horrors. . .
But unshakable faith.
But everlasting hope.
But an offer of eternal love.