|Philosophy student|classical vocalist|It pursuing| spread 💗& food to every1🎈 I believe the world is going to end and I am making the best use of it!|
Someday I'll love shruti
I don't know what love is ,
The more I get into it ,
The less I know about it .
Being impatient about something new,
Being carried away about something bad,
Being hurt about losing something big,
Being less thoughtful about my life,
Being always correct in my own mind,
Being nowhere where everybody was climbed,
Being jealous when people around me get my position right,
Being a failure when I was trying high.
Stress and depression,
I have closely observe everything wise but the devastation of being a loner and truth of being used killed me thousand times.
But I know I cannot loose this war because this war is not just about being right or ...
Roaming around roads getting deeper than reaching high !!
Favourite Words : Abandon , miracle breakdown
The moment I saw you ,
The thoughts that gather,
The smell that hold me together,
The rise that I fell into ,
The miracle of silver lights and golden shine,
I thought my end is here in collision of arms and words,
The breakdown was simple,
Some more drinks
And something dropping from my eyes travelling through cheeks and then disappear,
The rounds were bigger than I expected
But the abandon was stronger than I imagine !
'have you ever seen someone sitting in the same room and without saying anything you two keep staring at each other and without any question you fall into the deepest ocean from where there is no coming back. I want to fall like this . There might be failures,rejections and pain but I want to try not for you but for my staring eyes,fast heartbeat and strong compassion to take you in'
Word of the Day
Insolent (adjective) :
Showing a rude or arrogant lack of respect.
I saw her after 3 years ,
I was getting the old memories ,
She was all smiling,happy,dancing, laughing at her own jokes ,
She was full of life,
I remember how we used to play football and video games and fight with guys ,
She was my school ,neighbour and my best friend and then I moved to some other place for studies .
The hardest part was leaving her behind ,her smiles behind.
And now after 3 years , I saw someone else in her ,
The insolent being,
The ungrateful attitude ,
The fade smiles.
Depression kill my best friend and gave me a woman with a silent eyes and vocal face
It was a dark night, when Julia had to cycle through the dark woods on her own. The wind was howling and the ice cold wind was painful on her face.
She tried not be afraid, she was 22 after all. But then, out of the blue she saw a girl coming to her way riding the cycle with hair coming on her face like a ghost coming to her. She was frightened ,wanted to run but can't and then she saw that was her twin sister . She took a sigh of relief and thank god that she has not seen herself into the mirror at night!
I want to say sorry.....
To myself .
Sorry that for years I treated myself so hard, brutal and sometimes wrong.
I want to say sorry to myself for forcing my existence to love the wrong person for years.
I want to say sorry to myself for doubting myself for days .
I want to say sorry to myself for never realising how important my body is to me not to someone else .
I want to say sorry to myself for compromising things for 'other people happiness' rather than mine.
I want to say sorry to myself for never trusting my soul .
I want to say sorry to myself for not making an eye contact for years with my own self.
I want to say sorry to myself for not being who I am...
1. Not lasting, enduring, permanent, or eternal.
2.Lasting only a short time; brief; short-lived; temporary.
Transitions of emotions,
Transitory are the beings ,
Defeated by love
And holding on someone to breathe, love ,love , love ,
Echoed my voice in head ,
Separated were the souls ,
Giving nothing back .
Heart was taken,
Senses were destroyed,
I was moving with bones ,
Waiting to decay in the soil
# write a letter about writing! Why is it special to you?
When I was little my mother once told me I write on the walls, like most of the kids do but I was the annoying one because when my parents done with painting the house and setting everything nicely I was writing something in the wall and I think that's when and where we all learn how to write.
Word by word ,
Line by line,
Alphabets by alphabets,
We all make a sentence .
But to portray the beauty of writing I was never like that before.
Being a poet/writer's daughter ,
I never knew how to put things on a paper where a person involved with each of your words .
But then the day comes may be the loss was bi...
#Mirage (noun) :
1. an image, produced by very hot air, of something that seems to be far away but does not really exist
2. literary a hope or wish that has no chance of being achieved
Have you ever stared at something for so long without any purpose?
Yes. Me too.
The staring goes longer without any distraction of movements.
Have you ever smiled by yourself without any purpose?
Yes. Me too .
The lips get into the motion ,curving from everywhere like reflexing the mood of unknown.
Have you ever think of getting a peace without any purpose?
Yes. Me too.
Thinking to lay down,
Ears do not want to receive any sound,
Heart is empty,
Revolving from spiritual to atheism bu...
What life lessons has adversity taught you?
I tried harder to fix things,
Much harder to hold somethings ,
Much more harder to forget some,
But every time I try, I failed.
I am not a loser conveyed by mind,
But heart knew I am losing more than just few things from the start.
I tried again to get some things ,
But I got nothing in my hand except the fake smiles and betrayed hugs.
I found some old friends looking and smiling at me ,
I thought why not to start a fresh with them,
I again get into the trap of mislead and misfortune.
I stop looking for things for a while
And then everybody has a complaint regarding my life,
I don't know to whom to answer and to whom not ,
#Adieu : goodbye
Knock to knock,
Hitting head to head,
Trying to suppress each other every time we meet with eyes,
Tried harder to get my ways parallel than separate,
Holding on the ego is quite dangerous than adieu on the face,
Regrets are not there,
Neither the love to get things back,
Living like strangers in one room under different emotions of stars
I climbed a city of no- breed!
#incongruity (noun) :
the quality of disagreeing; being unsuitable and inappropriate
I followed you,
Your Words and let the power of you to flow within me ,
So I cannot empower myself neither I choose freedom,
While being your slave ,
There is incongruity inside me and I am killing it,
so you cannot leave me in the middle of 'our' way
And do not want to lose you while covering you in all -red
If things were simple then I could never found you,
From unspoken to chatter box wordings,
From hiding crushes to first love story,
From beer-tasting to sneaking,
From low scorer to winner stories,
From arguments to follow up theories,
From deepest secrets to mystery smiling,
From me to your journey.
I know it's been a year and we have not met,
But we have daily conversations till now,
I know things have changed for you,
From moving to new city and with new family,
And I know it is tuff.
But I want to tell you something,
This journey is not easier for me too.
The first week ,
I felt you are miles apart and we may not be in touch from now,
But then I received your text ...
#Solicitous (adjective) :
1. Marked by or given to anxious care and often hovering attentiveness.
2. Extremely careful; meticulous
3. Anxious or concerned
I saw him,
The white skin,
Extremely soft like a cotton,
His smell is so pure,
I open myself to fall in love again,
I touched his rosy cheeks,
He hold my finger with his little hand,
We had no relation ,
But I lost myself,
The all of me in him,
I picked him up into my arms in a solicitous way ,
Want to take him away from the hard things like life and betrayal
Being a volunteer there I knew what I want from life, now
-my first visit to orphanage
#Attenuate (verb) :
To reduce in force, value, amount, or degree; weaken
The solid look,
Yellow plates ,
Red walls ,
Un -awaken dreams,
And there is you ,
with your camera,
Clicking me from everywhere ,
The curtains flowing from left to right,
Your lenses capturing each spot,
But you can't captured the silence of eyes
And turbulence of my heart.
My existence become attenuate the moment you left,
I am still here ,
Just a mere project which you want to complete,
Telling someone else to wait for you ,
But you forgot ,
you said this to me too...
And I am still waiting
The life wasn't larger than happy smile on faces,
I put my people in a time-phase,
A phase where no one can knock me,
No one can talk to me
And no one can even be with me,
And a lovely relationship,
I thought everything was perfect ,
But on a bumpy road there is no speed breaker,
I got hit really hard,
Harder than thought and
Harder than imagine.
Life took a Circuitous way,
Where things started failing ,
And a hurtful relationship,
I think karma was stronger than humans belong to me.
I saw the light,
And followed it's way,
I saw the door,
I knock the door harder as if I want to enter into it desperately,
I put a smile ,
I again put a smile ,
To smile and hide the truth ,
Life is of "achievers losing" everywhere,
Life is of "correctness falsifying " faces of each other,
The oxymoron was right,
But timing was wrong ,
I was ...
At front of the mirror !
I had a dream of having you ,
A thousand times.
The talks were real,
The walks were real,
The cold beer at night was real,
The music we heard together was real,
The movie we saw together was real,
The trips we were on was real,
The pain you belong to was real,
I was real ,
World was real,
Things going in loop of
Where everything was real except you
I knew I was dead,
When I saw him first .
I knew he was not the right one ,
But I too made up with all the wrongs .
I knew I was lost at first sight,
Nothing new for him
He was a charmer,
A life of sexy tone,
A look of deadly built
A voice of SOTTO VOCE
Heard by my ears ,
Conveyed to me ,
And get directly into my heart ,
Run into my veins ,
And badly stuck into my memory!