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September 15, 2018
 

it has been so long since i have been loved.
or been told that if i were to walk away from this,
it would be the end of the world. or the end. of all.
i have forgotten what it is like to have someone,
in the middle of the night, when i am too scared
to close my eyes because my stability is not
just mine, it is shared, like this bed we would lay in,
and you would tell me that these storms shall pass.
what is it like to be touched in the morning,
by a touch that is more tender to you than
you have ever been to yourself, almost like desperation
curling itself on to the closest possible prayer.
i always ask, is this body capable of handling
being loved and being worshipped under the same sheets...

ANGEL OF PASSION
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September 12, 2018
 

To The Ones Who Have Loved And Lost And To The Ones Who Are Trying Their Best To Love An Already Broken Heart.

i do not have the nerve to love you.
to love you is to hold you at the end of the day,
and my hands fail to fathom up a courage so bold,
so i watch, as you walk with your trudged feet,
with a stench of disappointment, raw.
like an anticipation of a good day gone bad.
here, within me, you let yourself lay bare.
break a sweat or two on my chest,
blaming the world for it's prejudice.
i look down on you and see what you mean,
when you say this world is the greatest thief.
i do not have the nerve to love you but,
i tell you it only picks on your happiness because
it is jealous of how ...

NEVER FORGET
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September 8, 2018
 

Foolishly Fierce Fire: An Ode To My Little Sister.

bleached in a bowl of black and white,
she strolled amongst us like a little ball of sunshine.
too handful to be tamed, her cheeks a reminder of two globes,
on either sides holding mouthful of giggles for people who have forgotten,
there's laughter for days where the world has none to offer.
eyes drooping under the weight of heavy eyelids, struggling so hard,
not to fall asleep on a summer afternoon, with a fear of being left behind.
she is dead set of making the most out of this life, though her tiny feet can't keep up with her brother's pace.
at every game of hide and seek, she loses her patience in finding her cousins, who hoaxed her...

CALVIN & HOBS
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September 7, 2018
 

sunrise

i am not a big fan of six a.m.
i hate how revealing the light can be.
it walks in with it's head held high
and lifts the lid off my last night's sin.
leave me be today, will you please?
you are not my ray of hope.
you will never be my sunshine.
the only sunshine i love is
the one at six p.m when,
her head rests upon my shoulder
and when we are a little colder from
holding on to the survival of our day.
she looks out into the never ending skyline
and softly whispers, 'if forever was a name, i want it to be ours.'
maybe forever was just a tiny moment,
that happened to us each day for a second;
but lived on in the shape of a timeless cloud
drifting from place to place,
so that eve...

LOVE WINS
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September 5, 2018
 

The Boy Who Lived In The Clouds.

Roar, devour, the softness that surrounds.
A boy has his head far up in the clouds.
He looks patiently for the ones who hide,
ever so quiet like him; he wants friends
who can share the silence of his mouth.
Runs his hands through the escaping holes,
left behind by the people aiming for the stars.
The boy wants to build a castle in the air
where they say no kites could ever fly.
Some days he struggles with his tongue,
Unable to hold his words at misery's tip;
He keeps saying he knows how the sun manages
to let go of all that sunshine everyday
even when the world is not worthy of it.
He gives away chunks of his heart,
undeniably, unconditionally, unfatho...

GREAT THINGS
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August 22, 2018
 

boots.

a rainy day, a sad afternoon,
running, drentched on the sidewalk.
i stop, only for a second, for a boot.
a wet, sad boot right there on the sidewalk.
people walking on it, pass it, through it.
and there i am, just standing.
imagining, a lonely lover is half incomplete,
somewhere, wandering in anger,
trying to recall why did they throw out
just one part of their being and not the whole?
i'm sure love is not done halfway.
it takes more than just one fight,
to leave behind pieces of you like that.

a rainy day, a sad afternoon,
i stopping looking for you altogether.
a breath too hard, my lungs sighed relief,
on the car window.
i do not make heart shapes out of them,
i let my bre...

FOLLOW YOUR HEART
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August 7, 2018
 

the beginning. the end. the beginning.

when death comes, seldom do we know,
until it is actually here, in our face, smiling,
stretching an arm to touch us like nobody ever has.
we count their breaths before they start slipping away;
the body, now a bunch of pebbles, stumbling from your hands.
and as the little rocks land on the floor one after the other,
it makes no sound. only you do. one heartbreak at a time.
death, my old friend, is a song we've known about since forever,
too controversial to be sung or screamed from atop,
but it will make it's way to your throat, and slowly before you know,
it will sew itself on to your lips and eyes and skin.
troublesome, as we struggle to remember,
...

SAY HELLO TO SUMMER
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July 13, 2018
 

The Synonymity Of Sky And Me.

i’ve always looked up to the skies.

so mighty, the black and the blue,

and still so lonely, look it cries,

so loud, the thunder and the storm,

and still so quiet, hear it’s misery,

so apparent when it touches the ground,

kills if you dare cross it’s path.

i know for better, this is how i am too.

a gigantic canvas stretching each day,

further and farther away from your touch.

lonesome, hiding within my own cover,

i shed tears as tiny as a heartbeat,

louder than a fist bump shared.

the black and the blue of skin,

on display for every passer by,

dare and lay another finger on me,

try smudging the void you feel,

i will drape down and tangle you,
...

A MAN'S BEST FRIEND
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July 2, 2018
 

The Day I Skipped Work.

To be honest I don't know what it feels like to live alone. For as long as I can remember I've never been left to fetch on my own.  But at the same time I know what it feels like to stay alone. Being in a room full of people and still not having the courage or the urge of going up to somebody and starting a conversation. That's the type of staying alone I'm referring to. Call it being content in one's self or call it being incapable of keeping up with other people and their chattery mouths, I've always resented going out of the way to appear like a normal person. I can't bloody do normal. And I don't know why. It's tough when it comes to putting on masks and preten...

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
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June 29, 2018
 

Dear Bestfriend Who's Out To Conquer The World,

After a very long and tiring work day i came home to this beautiful sunset and good god how much it reminded me of you. You, who, somewhere too, must be coming home to this after a very long and tiring day, thinking of me, thinking of us and how far we have come in terms of sharing the sky, the sunset, the yellow of our hearts and the blue of our souls and yet everyday that we spend apart, we learn there's still so much more of sharing left to be done before we permanently go our separate ways (if that is even an option). Today i miss you more than usual. Sunsets are whatever but our time together is not. If at all you feel this world is too ...

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
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June 21, 2018
 

vintage women. (an advertisement)

a tapered skin suit.
a scratched surface.
a holy patched pocket.
a rugged biker jacket.
a distressed bone set.
a damning bootleg.

know your women
before you get them.
love your women
after you wear them* (t&c applied)

a timelessness,
you may never
need a watch again.
look at her shadow
it holds moments
of history she has
lived through.

a vivid walk,
she owns.
she strides
on her pride
you don't have
to give yours.
she's alright.

a hunger,
always sits on her lips.
she doesn't lick,
she bites her way
through an ice cream;
only if it's her
favorite flavor.

a perspective,
wider than your mind.
she likes to push
boundaries until
everything is at
the ...

AUDREY HEPBURN
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June 20, 2018
 

'dear old friend'

today i received a letter from an old friend.
a letter that i once wrote and she once read.
i told myself this is what suprises look like now a days.
reminders from a time capsule buried in the memory
of the days spent loving and living so passionately
that the death had to come faster than anticipated.
treacherous as she calls me to be for inking my feelings;
making a piece of paper so worthwhile to be protected,
she says she has the courage to fight me but never
tear my words into irreconcilable pieces.
i laugh at the irony of how we were able to survive
the waves of nostalgia flooding our feet.
but look at us now, we do not recognize
if the reason behind our sudden w...

JE T'AIME
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June 18, 2018
 

scars to your beautiful.

my body is 8,525 days old.
it still feels new, i must admit.
to wake up and not recognize my own eyes,
i think i don't know them enough to know
how hurting it is to look at photographs
from a life long left behind.
a life that resembles a street full of faces
that once said 'i will never let go.'
to this day i feel like a stranger in my own party,
waiting for someone to offer me a drink or a dance or a hand
to take and never ever stop spinning even when the thrill ends.
i question each day as if the answer lies under the table
and all i have to do is bend down and sit with it.
so i do it; i camp with all the answers in a hope to be saved (this time).
how is it t...

UNITE TOGETHER
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June 18, 2018
 

A Wish From Earth.

While I struggle at night,
Your thoughts pick me up in the morning.

While I miss you every time,
Your teachings make me stand up every morning.

While I feel left behind and scared,
Your light attracts me.

While I regret not having spent time with you,
Your stories help me to know the best person of my life.

While I cry trying to remember a single moment with you,
Your heart that still  beats inside me puts me through.

While I see you in pictures and gets my eyes numb,
Your struggle clears my life.

While I try figuring out life,
Your ways prepare me for anything that's coming.

While I fall short to have any real passion,
You make me passionate to be like you.

While...

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!
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June 17, 2018
 

Dear Ms. I Can Walk In Whenever I Want And Leave Whenever I Want,

you told me i am incapable of forgiving.
that every time someone is on their knees,
all i do is stare at them till they stop breathing.
if you were to actually consider my side of things,
there are things i would love to say in my defence.
things you fail to flaunt to the world because
they speak my truth and your fabricated lie.
go ahead, tell the world how every fight
that i have showed up to with compassion,
i lost myself while trying to save a certain someone
who claims i don't know what forgiveness means.
tell me why should i risk killing myself over and over, when you came in with your mind already made up?
convinced i ...

ANCHOR
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June 17, 2018
 

Dear Love,

Please tell me there's more to life than just waiting for you to come around.

SEE IT SHARP
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June 15, 2018
 

once is not enough.

she looks just the same.
marriage did her good.
that's wonderful i imagine,
to find hope after losing love.
that is to say how wonderful
it is to let each other go
for one last time and
still find someone
who's worth holding on to again.
she calls out my name and
i question does it still mean
what it originally meant to her.
she said my name was a wave
that laughed too hard and
crashed too hard and
worked out too hard
for it's own good.
that i carried dumbbells,
a worthless amount of weight,
on my hands when all i needed was
to stop picking up things
along the way and turn
them into something
so ravishingly beautiful
in return of my own sanity.
she said my name...

LETTRS GOLD AND STRIPES
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June 14, 2018
 

How To Make A Victim Out Of A Woman.

Often unnoticed, a stench of humor covers up rage like bloody hands under sleeves. A fight picked for proving not who's great but just to prove who isn't, is a fight not worthy of being fought. In heavenly father's name, if he throws a tantrum, it is as valid as a child craving new food but if she were to do the same, suddenly tantrum becomes a privilege too precious to be earned. Look not around but within, to know what is that you do makes no sense, when you do it with a heart that beats on someone's misery. Ever tried looking at the sun directly for more than thirty seconds? If he were to try it, they'd call it valor, an act of heroic achievement becau...

ANGEL OF PASSION
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June 14, 2018
 

How long before you realize the difference between someone who builds a garden to help you blossom and someone who does it just to keep you rooted; to keep you trapped?

DARK AND STRIPED
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June 11, 2018
 

In honor of Pride Month.

What would a rainbow taste like?

A rainbow would taste like a lover's skin . A lover, though long gone , that stays in your memory like a fresh scar every time you were to love someone new . A rainbow would taste like their touch , a chaos too sweet to resist . A rainbow would taste like their promises , a weird combination of untangled truth and beauty . A rainbow would taste like you and them in the back of a car on a moonless night , precisely devouring each other . A rainbow would always taste like some of you and some of them ; both however no longer together , but still oh so beautiful wherever you continue to shine .

My Heart
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June 11, 2018
 

my loneliness is a drifter.
sometimes too close to it's destination; sometimes too far.

every time i convince myself i've found you, it takes me on a journey and i lose you all over again.

My Heart
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June 5, 2018
 

i will dance
like the day i first met you.
drunk, pretending to be sober.
falling, pretending to be still.
in love, pretending to be not.
oh how am i yours already?
that day you told me
it's okay to love someone
and still not be able to
ever find a happy ending.
how can you say that?
in a room stuffed with
hundred different men.
there i was in your arms.
holding my happy ending.
as if it's so god damn okay.
to dance with a man and
have him take you home.
and decide, he is it.
maybe you're it for me.
and i'm it for you.
maybe this is
the rest of our lives
unfolding right here.
in the middle of
a dead party,
a dance floor
gone numb,
a music so old,
we can barely catch it.
this is how it a...

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
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June 2, 2018
 

to me,
you resemble a thunder
more than anything in this world.
loud, scary, seen before heard, damaging.
and if tried to tame, of course, fatal.

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
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June 2, 2018
 

fury.

the sky is a canvas.
an imitation of what we would look like.
profoundly empty and blue and gray.
sometimes an abstract scream in the void.

an imitation of what we would look like.
if we were to miss each other very much.
sometimes an abstract scream in the void.
we will ache for our skins to be touched.

if we were to miss each other very much.
the skies could go wild in rage tonight.
we will ache for our skins to be touched.
in order to feel alive again in a long time.

the skies could go wild in rage tonight.
smash the clouds on the ground.
in order to feel alive again in long time.
fury is just another emotion for love.

smash the clouds on the ground.
shatter every last bit of ...

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
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June 1, 2018
 

moving out: an ode to my old home

letting go is a hard. ask a plant how it feels to be uprooted from a ground it has spent years in, to go from green to dead. ask your body how it feels to memorize the slow hush of the blue wind that gushes from the gap of your window and then ask it to forget all that because it's time to learn new sounds. sometimes you allow yourself to put down all the baggage you claim to carry, that is a big black bag of void, obstructing your breathing. put it safely in closets and spaces that could hide it, keep it safe. silently without you even realizing, all of your past lies tucked in drawers, pressed in neat patterns so that the next time you decide to visit it...

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
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June 1, 2018
 

of bars and heartbreaks.

the greatest secrets of all
can be found on broken bar floors.
a man that walked in through those doors,
is now bloody with his heart lost in a brawl.

he looks miserable beyond description.
but he's still smiling wide and bright.
a spectacle of his problems sit tight,
while his first tear lands with salvation.

a few men reach out for his hand.
while others stop them from doing it.
they say he never learns how to quit.
he was born to die in a love too grand.

the man licks the whiskey off of his shirt,
mellows in the taste that reminds him of her.
a 'her' he thinks is in love with him but begs to differ.
so again she sends him to the bar to drink his hurt.

the i...

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
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May 27, 2018
 

I've seen enough hurt to know that love shouldn't ever look like it no matter how rough it gets.

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
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May 27, 2018
 

A friendship can survive distance and silence but never forced separation and intentional quietness.

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
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May 23, 2018
 

sunset.

four years ago,
the sun had set a little too early,
on two people who called each other their forever.
maybe forever came at different times in different zones.
and stayed up for as long as it possibly could everyday.
but you never know what makes things change their mind.

for someone who claims to know love in and out
i am still clueless about why lilac skies pass by so fast.
and why a man can't choose his heart over his mind.
to this day i am unsure if i can ever again love a man who is broken.
at the best i can fix him and not bother breaking in the process.
i love yous are easier on the tongue than the heart.

he reminded me so much of cotton candies.
pink, soft, cloudy, a dream...

LOVE IS ALL WE NEED
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May 22, 2018
 

Love is not so much about being right, but rather, enough for each other.

GET SOME!
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