|Take your time with things. Do not let people take you for granted.|
A brand new year has started with a fresh slate, a blank canvas.
2018 was both good and unfair to me but damn.. what a roller coaster
it was. It felt like the best time of my life and then it also felt like things
had fallen apart. Last year was a year of discovery and really digging
deep into who I am as a person.
It taught me who was fake, who was real, people I had to walk away from
and I learned the people who truly love me. That was my discovery of
last year and also I learned a lot about what it means to be in love
and falling out of love. The hardest part about falling out of love with
with someone is acknowledging why you fell out of love with them in
A blank canvas, fresh slate.
New opportunities, exciting future.
I leave 2018 behind, knowing you
and I are no longer. I leave behind
2018 like I left you. Greatful with
My ink touches the pages, emotions they bleed black and blue.
Ink upon ink, Christmas will be lonely this year without you.
To feel, to touch.
Forgotten that feeling of being in love with the man of my dreams.
I can only feel the way you ripped my heart at its seams.
The memories, oh the memories they play like and old broken film.
Always stuck on one scene, wanting you back that wish is so slim.
We cannot, not now not ever.
There was love and passion, a sly snake you were too clever.
Never will I ever forget.
Not us, this love will I ever regret.
Wasted hours, wasted taste.
Washing my body from you in such a haste.
"You love me" you cry like a baby without a mother.
I love you to the moon and back.
Even you know I can’t deny that.
Every inch of your skin, each tiny cell. My heart ached more as deeper it fell. Deep into the ocean it seemed to sink. There was a connection, a spark, a link.
I don’t want this to ever end, this feeling inside I cannot mend.
Oh how I love you to the moon and back. Baby I can’t deny that
To the love of my life:
Summer of love and memories I can't forget.
You will never be the love I will ever regret.
Wanting it to continue, wishing for it to end.
From start to finish you remain my friend.
Like oil pastel colours I paint our canvas of blue.
You reside in my memories, a grey hue.
Come back to me, but the further you run.
Was this all a thrill to you? Just for fun?
Walk with me, just this one time.
Let me see your dirty secrets filled with grime.
My lover and then my friend.
After everything you put me through, you and I until the end.
Watch your heart break, watch it break in two.
Don't play with emotions, if you can't see it through.
Teach me to lov...
You were a mystery and so was I.
Canoeing through life and it’s wonder.
We fell deep into the ocean, we went under. I touched your soul and you touched mine. You smiled back, reapeating my favourite line. “I’ve loved you for what feels like centuries”
We found one another in a crowd filled with strange faces. Our hearts connected, we travelled places. I often walk through the places in my mind. The places where you I can find. But those places are just old memories of the souls that we once were. You are not you anymore, and neither am I.
But let it be known that we truly did try. The day that it happened, the day that I knew that things would change.
Our lives, the patterns would rearrange. ...
Your eyes smiled back at me.
You were young wild and free.
I loved that about you.
Being whatever you wanted to be.
We laid there in the grass, for what felt like light years turned into centuries. It was you and I, we were by the river enjoying company. Just you and I. You grabbed my hand and smiled, and then you asked me the most important question yet.
“So is this everything you had imagined love to be?”
I smiled and softly let out a breath.
“This is heavenly, it really is.”
That was all that was needed in this moment, love and more love. Never getting enough.
Summer breeze, blue skies. I look at you just to realise. To realise that there is truth between us. Truth in our very own youth. Your body like sand slipping through the cracks. We laugh as we are caught in the moment of love. Ancient sacred love between us.
You and I, in darkness like fire flies these hearts burn with desire. Oh summer, where have you been? The sweetest sight ever seen. Kiss me slowly and then all at once, bury my toes in the sand.
Kiss me slowly while the ocean
orchestrates our love song.
You & I forver.
How were we to start again?
Swaying in the summer breeze.
You and I , I and you. Can you feel the ocean? Can you feel me? Do you see me, how I see you? Oh let the summer nights take us.Let it bring us together, just to tear us apart. Miss me just for tonight love. Maybe miss me for forever.
Let summer begin, and let it end.
Lets savour this, my friend.
Forever summer shall be our anthem, as we sway to the summer breeze. We sway in the direction of love. You and I, I and you.. and in that moment we are defined as lovers. Nothing more.
There we were...
Strangers finally again. You and I. You were my lover, my best friend. Now we don’t talk anymore, no contact. No nothing and I am content with that baby.
Have a great life, and I hope you treat her better than you treated me.
The space between us:
Space & time, dark and light.
You were him, my beautiful knight. We had good memories and some intimate moments that pass me by in a flash. Now all have to be delted, dragged to the trash. We shared many moments, things we wanted and things that we truly did think.
Now that it’s over my heart it is to sink.
To sink to the bottom of the ocean like an anchor. You left me, like I was nothing to you.
You really had me fooled for such a long time. Was this a nightmare? Losing the love of my life? I don’t know anymore..
my heart is heavy and my mind is so blank. A love that once floated, now it just sank.
It feels like my heart being pulled out of my chest. Oh baby that is heart break at its best.
Love of mine.
You are ugly, you aren’t kind.
You pick me apart on your plate.
I loved for so long, now you’re late.
How do I trust you? A love so faded.
You sold me a dream, you’re over-rated. These mind games, these games of chess. You think you gain but you win a little less.
You want me to chas you. I wont.
You want me to want you. I dont.
I loved you, I cared. You were my king. You and I had an amazing thing. Until I found others, who stole your time and love from me. Through blurry eyes I see.
I see the pain and the silly game.
You want me to feel the same.
I cannot.. I just dont.
Bottom line love, I got played.
You sleep in the bed you made.
Time heals all or so they say.
But I can’t sleep, from night to day.
Every morning that I awake, you are no longer my muse. It is hard to tell myself that it is this that I lose.
Once upon a dream, you were my king you were the warmth in my heart. Now all we do is pick each other apart. See you revealed to me that you love to play with my mind. That’s a deal breaker even for me, I’m not that kind.
So I sit here to try an write a piece to you. To tell you that even though I love you so.. you need to let me go. I cannot keep holding onto the love which is now dead. You just gotta let me go babe, that’s all that can be said.
She had the bluest of eyes I had ever seen, and then her long blond hair hung right above her collar bone. She was beautiful I thought to myself, over and over again. Her eyes twinkled as she sat across from me in a room filled with people, all types of people and children. She wore a black cocktail dress and clear gloss against her perfect big lips.
" I'm so happy for you though, like really I am." You voice trailed off as you traced your glass with your finger. I sat there looking right into your eyes for a couple of minutes and listening to your flirtatious laugh. I smiled back because it's like I knew that you were lying through your teeth, whenever it came to my happiness you would s...
You had this look in your eyes.
Swimming through the bullshit and lies. You caught my gaze and smiled, and you realized. We were where we ended. At the beginning.
He was right there, waiting..
In the corner of my very own mind. I close my eyes and I see his dark chestnut eyes, his dark chocolate hair, and his smooth silky skin.
He's mine. I think to myself or at least that is what I tell myself.
You don't ever really stop to appreciate the things that life grants you.. Like a car, a house, a good partner, a good family.
I .. I wanted more than that. I really did, it was 2 in the morning and I was thinking about the butterflies in my stomach. The ones that lived there long ago spelling out his name inside my very gut. He laid there beside me I could hear him breathing, seeing how the moon hits his chest as I see it rise and fall. He is real: my...
You and I..
When I met you, I believed that I had met the man of my dreams. Someone who shared the same ideas, dreams, aspirations, and future plans. We spent many years together and though we were long distance things always felt close and tight knit because we had TRUST.
I trusted you more than I should have. You never gave me reason to doubt your loyalty towards me. You told me things and I believed you. But as time went on tour skin started to shed and reveal your true colors. The curtains had dropped and so did the trust, honestly I felt cornered and blind sided by the man of my dreams.
You did inappropriate things behind my back. Though you reassured me it wasn’t a big deal.. it ...
It’s weird, isn’t it?
How we can spend so much time with someone we love. And then one day they become only bit a memory.
To have been with you was a journey.
Today you and I are still learning.
We learn everyday how to cope with the idea that sooner or later we will not be together.
Well.. not in the way that we want.
Love should never be so hard, but nonchalant.
So where do we go from here? The ball is in your court my dear.
Whatever you choose, and wherever you go.
I hope you find peace and are ready to grow.
Wishing you the best, my lover my friend.
I’m sorry we couldn’t be together until the end.
& it will always be hard, when we part ways. We weren’t ready for the goodbye, but we were always going to be headed in that direction my love. And that in itself is what is tragic.
This is all I want to say:
I loved you, With all my heart and I still do but I think we both know that our fairytale our story the one that we created together. That love story .. the chapter is closing and unfortunately I guess we don’t get a happy ever after because my love for you was never going to be enough and I wish I had known that before I fell really hard for you . I just hope that when you do find her, I hope that you put her on a throne, treat her like gold and never ever... take her for granted.
She was beautiful, I wasn’t sure what it was that had me attracted. Her eyes and the way she moved, had me distracted. Somewhere down the line we would meet again, and I’d feel al the butterflies inside me once more.
Once you have stepped inside the Devil’s den.. it’s hard to escape .
To be loved or to be hated? It's all good because the mind is faded.
But why are you walking around like your heart is jaded.
You loved too much and now your heart is gated.
Sometime down the line, you were hurt with everything inside your mind.
It was a path so foggy, she was someone you would always try to find.
Let my voice be your guide, when life is tough ill get you through the ride. It won’t always be easy, we won’t agree on the same matter. We will be silent and we will create chatter. I’m mot sure if things will always be green on the other side. But I know ill always be there with you along for the ride. The journey which we embark on will have curvy trails and hidden spots. Nothing will blind us, we gave an oath to one another. For better or for worse, we will love each other. That is my promise to you, my partner.. my best friend. I’ll ride with you until the very end.
The worst thing you could do, is trust someone with your whole heart. Not knowning the motives behind that person’s personal agenda.. towards your emotions.
I felt at peace, I still do. When I hear your voice. No matter how many lives I live, you will always be my 1st choice. My best friend, my lover. A love like this oh not like any other. You and me against the world, side by side. I miss you so much, I dream of the way it feels when we touch. Though we watch the same moon, from different cities, I watch the same stars too. I count the days down, until I am once more in your arms. I want to feel you next to me, I want to feel ur breath upon my skin. I want to feel everything, even when time is precious and wears thin.
I look forward. To seeing you again.