I haven't done it for 6 or 7 months. I didn't want to take it but something possessed me to. I was walking home and all of a sudden felt the need to turn around and when I did I found myself walking towards the dollars store where I have gone before all that time ago. Now I have it and I don't think I want to get rid of this time. I didn't get it to start again right away..I just actually feel safe with it there in case I end up needing it.
I remembered when I was anonymously reported to the counselors office for cuts on my arm my sophomore or freshman year of high school. I remember begging them to let me ride home on the bus but they wouldn't let me. My mother couldn't come up to the school because she didnt drive and it was a long walk. It was hot too. So I was driven home by a cop that was at the school. I remember seeing my brother and my mom so upset and pissed. They cursed at me and my brother told my mom that I kissed a boy in the library and I lied about it and then told the truth. After that they continued to say things about me about all the problems I caused which I knew.. When the cop left she yelled at me and told ...
Where to start. I'm a 18 year old brown girl from Washington D.C. I'm always told that I'm pretty and this and that when I feel I am not. I've gained weight. I've acquired stretch marks because of it. I have old scars from cutting but they are fading so I guess it's not a problem anymore until I guess I get to that point again where I can't hold out anymore. I have annoying acne its not as bad as others I could say but who would any amount of acne? I struggle everyday with expressing my feelings but recently I expressed my true feelings about my relationship with my ex. I told him basically that I wished I haven't met him. He wanted us together but he caused so much pain without even knowing....
To tell someone to move on from the past and let go when you clearly see that they can't themselves can give so much clarity. Such powerful advice and comfort to someone who needs it would help them be able to come to terms of what the meaning to a new start is.
Not me though..I'm a lost cause. Always worked that way since day 1.
Just met a guy
Omg he was so fit
Never will I meet another like him
And his name is the letters of each line.
I didn't make this up but its too good not to share. comment if your shook. lol.
All im putting on the table is:
Leave the past alone. let it stay where its at. If you dont let it be the past will haunt you. how are you suppose to move on if you can't leave those bad spirits alone?? that's all I'm saying.
That girl over is broken.
Can't you see it in her posture?
She became so unspoken.
You would think she was an impostor.
She use to smile immensely
But now hers smiles doesn't show.
She often wonders "will they miss me"
And no one never knows.
They walk right pass her.
As if she isn't there
As if she completely invisible
No one tries to show they care
"Wow no one reallly cares"
Is what she says in her mind
She decides her fate.
She's isn't against time.
Everyone starts to worry.
She's no where to be found.
They dont understand the full story.
But now the rain falls to the ground.
If someone had just told her that they care.
Even if they showed her,
She might have ...
I dont know what to write yet I'm writing. I dont feel anything at all but I feel tired. My mind is empty but I'm thinking to much. I'm always quiet but I have so much to say. Lol I'm lost right now. Dont mind what I'm saying. It's been a rough day and I'm sure some of you reading had a rough one too. It's all good though. Man..I need sugar.
So today is my birthday.
Even though I'm not doing anything
special today I'm still happy I'm able
able to wake up
and see life in my reflection of my
bathroom mirror. It is the greatest gift.
"I'm rubber you're glue whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you" is something I'd say to make you think that someone's words didnt affect me when I was younger. I can't say that now because well I'll look childish. All I can do now is shrug it off and cry later before bed and wake up smiling as if I didnt. As if your words didnt pinch at my skin like needles draining me of my confidents. I'll regain my confidents in awhile but you lost nothing did you? You'll forget that you even said it. The ones who did it always forget but the ones you did it to always remember. Be kind about what you say to someone. You can never really know how they feel especially if they are masters at hi...
A day from now it will be my birthday. A birthday that will feel the same as the last accept I'm older. Nothing really changes. The same people will say happy birthday to me over snapchat just like the rest of the population does to their friends or family. I DON'T REALLY CARE. I will go on continuing to like being a girl until my period crashes the party that I never showed up to. I'd want to lose weight and tell myself to but never try. I will continue to listen to people say I look fine In their eyes when I think I only looked good in those jeans I tried on and bought but never wore because I stay inside and lay down thinking about a birthday I said I didnt care about. As I lay there I rem...