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Pensforpals

PO# 621124
United States
United States
⭐️ I am here to change the world; maybe I can bring you comfort, maybe even ardent hope. www.pensforpals.org⭐ ~Tiffany
April 5, 2019
 

Green:

The smell of a crisp, fresh bright green colored apple
Picked straight from a tree
Standing on your tippy toes
You quickly grasp or catch it,
In the palm of your hand,
About the size of a beet.

It may be the most lone,
Wild, captured wholeness.
Sacred, full of spirit.
It’s seems to come alive
The more I describe it.
The more it seems to grow.

Is it a crayon? A land?
Air freshener,
Forests or grass?
Is it an apple? Is it Kale?
What about a Granny Smith pie?
Or is it the crisp
That when inhaled
Our senses create a formula
For the color itself?
Does it shape shift?
Does it take practice?

Ahhh... the ripest,
The deepest,
Most perfect crunch.

Sometimes we feel f...

THE SUN WILL SHINE
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March 29, 2019
 

In the sweetest tone,
The words emerged-
“I wear my heart on my sleeve”,
She laughed softly,
Two souls were merged.

Both have had thier wings broken, plucked, stretched and shattered;
Both without a sound
Only flight matters.

Hurt? Well, yes.
Afraid? Not a chance!
Time to mend our wings;
Tape them back together
Glue them to the night!
We begin to fly,
we soar, we rise,
So gallant; the freedom.

Only the air between them.
Never looking down,
She speaks
“This is not a dream”-
It’s our personally victory;
Now fight!

Break the chains, rip them apart
Every mystery and memory
Synchronized and solved.

So....
Break free, cut all of the chains
Destroy the cycle -
Don’t wast...

HOPE BATEMAN
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March 21, 2019
 

Finish me please:

It’s pouring freshly ground salt
onto my bleeding parts
like a drum, opened, exposed, once attached soul.

Mix it with rubbing alcohol-
It burns,  
My stomach twists and turns.

It’s so dark, It’s so loud,
The trail so profound.

Daggers and knives
Couldn’t pierce this
Not even to death
Not even to life.

————————-
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WAKE UP AND WRITE
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March 15, 2019
 

Loss of a loved one
Losing my mind
The tragedy unfolds
I want to scratch out my eyes
I hate pain...
I forsake every
Unfortunate, sunken silhouette of all the difficult times,
Especially today,
when you died.

3/14/19 RIP Spenser

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HEARTBREAK
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March 11, 2019
 

Oh yes, I will say
All the things that you won’t,
All the things you wish you could,
And the things that you don’t.

It may even sound like screaming
Sweet sounds of my inner demons.

That may frighten you
But it truly pleasures me.

Read any of my poems
And you too shall see.
Never disappointing,
This is my story,
Unraveling piece by piece.

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LION
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March 11, 2019
 

Can you feel the air?
Do you feel that shift?
It’s presence is strong, thick.
It’s heavily armed,

Like it or not....
You asked for this
Can’t push it away?
Why are you alarmed?
You asked for this.
Your doubts, chances and fighting, evading
trying desperately to hang on,
To that shell of a life
That is long gone. Changed.
Let go now. You must.

It’s warm, like a fever
it sinks in deeper; almost aches.
Until your soul meets
transformation.
I love the pain.

Always searching and seeking answers, and conclusions,
asking so many questions.
You wanted to know!
So,
Let us in,
We’re knocking.
Welcome to enlightened
Home of where
Nightmares age made
And fear begins.

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CHIRAYU
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March 8, 2019
 

Lucky for you,
I want you to;
Do all of the things
That not one has done...
Will you?

What’s left to lose?
I ask?!
What’s one more time?
I had to choose,
And now I do.

You are
Loyally, honestly,
With
Time and modestly
Sweeping me away,
But from under my soles!

Not by murdering what’s left of my tortured soul
Or twist what is true

Lucky for you, sir,
Lucky for you
I still have hope too.

IMPOSSIBLE.. I THINK NOT.
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March 8, 2019
 

She said now,
With a smile
It’s been a while
Since the fire inside of me burned
With anything other than hurt.
He said, hang on dear
Trust me, I’ll be here
She’s heard that one before
It’s going to take more than words.

They say you only live once
But that just is not true
You only die once
You live everyday
The how is up to you.

I choose kindness
No matter with whom.

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HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY
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February 27, 2019
 

The things I know
The things I can’t un-see  
In other realms
I speak loudly of the matrix
Everyone seems to dismiss.
They are blind and so are you
Things you’ll never understand
Until you let me through
Trust me to guide you?
Will it ever get better?
I silently laugh

Like watching myself
40 years later
When my mother said one day
You’ll have a child just like you
I said that would be great!
Radient with light
I held on to the fight
I was cursed with
For 18 years
For you to come home and finally be mine.

You are hot, you are cold
You are perfectly untold.
The way you make me
Shake my head
Forcing me to approve
Of all of your lies, your tales
That you believe are true!...

ANGEL OF DREAMS
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February 27, 2019
 

Does it ever calm down
Tell me,
Will you ever accept the truth?
Or will you keep on fighting
The deception showed to you?
Maybe it’s your personal
Choice
In that case,
I can’t wait until you see what I see
That’s what it took for me to find
My place
In this world and my voice
and even my inner strength.  
It’s our kaleidoscope!

KALEIDOSCOPE
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February 27, 2019
 

Only god or whomever
knows the reason why
You make me angry
You drive me insane,
With your selfish mind.
Oh the millennials
You think you know it all
You think you’re an adult
But you don’t understand that adults fall!
All the time in fact!
It makes me laugh.
It’s unforgettable.
Trust me or don’t,
Try to bribe me,
Maybe blame me?
I still sit here with hop.
That one day you will know.
Stop rocking the boat!

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DARK NIGHT
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February 27, 2019
 

After 25 years,
one random solemn day
you never talked to me again
My tears were on display?
What did u do?
What did I say?
Where do I even begin?!
These questions will always remain.
They will also always replay
In my mind every day.
This pain is tearing me apart
It’s shriveling and swallowing
Every ounce of my heart.
It’s turning my soul into
a deep empty dark.
It’s cold, so cold
But I cannot fold.
Someone told me you
We’re back on drugs
And while that makes some sense
It isn’t your defense!

Why won’t you answer me,
Why won’t you call?
What was I to you
After all?
Lies, lies, and more lies
Is all I know to be true
About you and I, and most
Certainly about you.
You...

READ A LOT WRITE A LOT
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February 27, 2019
 

You try to convince me
That you have special powers
Well so do I
Not that it matters
I’m silent
You scream
I find it hilariously
Hard to believe
How much you deceive
God you piss me off
No need to hurt me.  
And I still find it wild
Funny, and uncomfortable
What you consider mild.
No longer will I support this
No more I will support you
You go your way
Blame me
And say they we’re through
But tell the world the truth
Stop hiding
Stop staring at me
Because you know that
I have proof.

MAKE YOUR MARK
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February 27, 2019
 

It’s like a freestyle
Thoughts come through
I lay them flat for you.
Why can’t you just let me be?
I can take care of me!
Let me go
Keeping me stuck
Let me go now
This really sucks!
Let me go now
Or I’ll abandon you
I gave you a chance
To let me go too.
You refused.
Ghosted. Ignored.
That’s something
I am healing from to.
Healing from time
Healing from you
But so long as you don’t
contact me
Then I can get over you.
If not then let me go!

MAKE YOUR MARK
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February 24, 2019
 

The weight that I carry, to inspire you all is heavy,
very heavy;
But to my knees I will not fall.
I will carry this load no matter how hard.
I will not quit,
I will not give anything away,
other than my all!

So, yes I am angry
and yes I am patient
and yes my thoughts race
and God knows I hate it!
But that’s how it tastes,
to carry this weight.
It is not in my head
It runs straight through my veins.
Straight through my heart
A gunshot in the dark-
nothing remains,
nothing can be torn apart!
And still,
she said,
there is nothing more from me
that anyone can take.
Not even after I am gone
Not even when I’m dead.
My words will remain!
... and I,
I call that sane.

AGAINST ALL ODDS
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February 24, 2019
 

Spoken words created inside of my head,
words you cannot take from me not even after I am dead.

I swear to you,
I do this all the time,
I find words and
I don’t mean for them to rhyme!

Racing thoughts always dancing through my mind
driving me crazy...
driving meme insane!
Sometimes they keep me stuck in place and time.  

Is it just me, she said?
Is it voices in my head?
No
But it makes my knees buckle,
It’s crippling,
I’m humble.

WHITE CLOCK
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February 18, 2019
 

Closure; it slips through my fingertips
As I try to grasp it
Like rain it falls through
the cracks, and crevices too
My soul destined; haunted by this.

Like a gentle first kiss
That taste of innocence,  
Ignorance, really is bliss!

Until you’re the last to know,
And facing the brutality  
That a heart could break so easily and readily.
For it is so fragile, futile,
and heavily empty now.

I will try not to drown in pain
Every time I see or feel your name, your face
I cannot be made numb
No matter what is done
No matter what it takes
This one I must, most unfortunately face and taste.

Once a heart is broken, cracked,
Shattered into speckles
In to tiny pebbles
Speckles of b...

ANGEL OF ELEMENTS
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February 16, 2019
 

So far from the truth
so close to the bend
Where is the beginning
And where is the end?
Is there an end,
I question, again and yet again?
Or do we merely keep
Beginning over and over
Until the absolute end?

One can only bear so much
before you break,
Misery, love, mistakes
They all love hard; they all ache.
Placing everything at stake,  
Locked inside of your cage.
Irritable, inevitable rage-
but then wait, I say!

I see a distant light
Is it leading me tonight?
Just as I hoped it would,
When the moment was right?
Is it finally my time to shine?

Subtlety I feel a warmth
Upon my shoulder now,
In the middle of a winters storm,
The sun begins to unveil. Although I am sure tha...

HEARTS CAN MEND
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February 16, 2019
 

You said you loved me
Every single day
Suddenly you just stopped
And I don’t know what to say.
You disappeared recently
Or maybe you chose to walk away.
I’ll never know because you won’t say it
What I did
What I said
Have you even searched for the truth?
Are you stuck inside your head?
You don’t even have to let me in
Just give me peace instead.

Was I not worth it to you?
Not even worth saying goodbye to?
That’s what it feels like,
To tell you the truth.

Maybe I deserve this
For the way I treated you
Over 20 years ago.
I could think of a dozen maybes but, I wish you’d let me know or let me go.
Free me from your metal chains
They cling and clang and
I can’t break away.

The ...

WRITE WORDS WISELY
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February 15, 2019
 

In slow motion
I began to shatter
Like the ripping
Of my face, my skin,
Just gone without a trace.
I pull down from my eyes
I scratch outside the lines
While inside of me, I die.
I’ve died a thousand times.

That was the end of me
So long ago, and yet
I’m left here haunted,
But you know that already,
You love to watch my pain grow.

Rapidly you scattered.
You took away my laughter
Now all that’s left is tears
Alongside my hate
My rage,
And
Nothing,
I mean nothing
Nothing numbs the pain!

Not even to this day.
But you...
You just get to walk away,
Get to live and move on
While I’m still stuck in an endless feeling of drifting away.
It’s a battle everyday.

Like a tape it j...

PHOENIX
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February 13, 2019
 

It’s harder every day
Are we better off this way?
You watched me grow
From nothing
You watched me turn into something
Something more like a butterfly than fate.
Opened my wings and fought for me like hell to fly
It was persuasive, intense, and invasive
But all butterflies die.

Finger notes or letters in the sand, I write
only to have them washed away
The water dissolves my words like a dancing flame;
In such a gentle sway.
It’s funny that way.

You must think I’m crazy
Crazy for laughing in such a dire straight
But my words, my tears, my piano and my thoughts;
My crazy passions  are what  
have led me here today.
If not for them I wound not be here, not even for a day.
I’m n...

LET'S FALL IN LOVE
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February 13, 2019
 

Ya know,
I’m by your side
Still you aren’t at mine
I find it hundiría; love
What a waste of time!
What does that even say
About the way we don’t
Collide or rhyme?
Your distance sucks
It must clearly be
My Repression’s or luck
I deserve this pain, right? No. Not a chance.
Not in this lifetime.
Ignore me, if you must.

I’ll still sing, I’ll still dance all night, I’ll still play music
Always even if alone
I’ll still never complain
I’ll still always remain.
History repeats itself that way.
My song you’ll never take away.
Played on an antique piano,
I continue on. With my song.

I never did really care.
who was watching? Who was looking? Laughing because I don’t mind. Maybe they...

THE KISS
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February 13, 2019
 

Some solemn days
I watch the sunset fade
Along with your love for me
That I never fathomed
You would take away.
I move towards you
Just like you asked me to,
You come closer to me,
But only in my dreams.
You pushed me away,
In all reality.

I’ve missed you, I said,
Still I get no reply.
I’ve waited so long,
Sitting here only standby.
Only to come home
But not come home to me
My home is alone
Empty, cold and unknowns
Of what was supposed to be.
There was a certainty I thought.
We made our fate that day.
Misery I met just a moment ago.
I know I deserve this,
I say to myself.
He wasn’t ready,
He wanted one thing else.
I welcome him with open arms
I leave with empty arms and ...

BHAVYA SINHA
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February 12, 2019
 

Your love is really killing me
I feel tied down in chains
Why won’t you set me free,
Why won’t you let me escape.
It feels as though I can not breathe,
You take away my every breathe and leave me here in disbelief.
I fell like I am choking
I feel so freaking broken
Why won’t you talk to me
Why won’t you let me breathe?
Hands wrapped around my neck
So tight until I choke and turn
Shades of red and blue
Still you won’t let go.
You grasp it harder,
I begun to stop fighting,
I accept that you will be the death of me. I accept that I deserve this from you
Because I was never worth it.
Hanging onto Agee from many moons ago
Has showers you anger, retaliation, and you have lost your way to ...

MAKE YOUR MARK
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February 12, 2019
 

Above all else
We have to put up a fight
A fight for life,
A fight for truth
Above all else we have to open our eyes
We have to see things in the same way in order to ever gain
the same sense of silence,
The light inside of the dark,
That dread turns into miserably
That we aren’t allowed to take anything back.
Above all else
We must live a thousand lives
We only die once that is the disguise
As with most mysteries,
This is hidden in plain sight.
And above all else
We must pay the daily price.
The daily price for life.
No matter what is thrown our way, no matter the size.
No matter what we are dealt
Our senses are so significant
That they can only be felt.  

Like a blind man ...

SLAPPIN' THE BASE
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February 12, 2019
 

There is Something to be said for words and
For art
There is Something to be said for those that tear us apart.
Sometimes it is words,
Sometimes clever thought; manipulation at its finest
Then becomes an art.
Is that what we’ve become?
Where has our honor gone?why should we have to seek the truth when it is carried on?!
The greatest pains come from the depth of our grave
The closed doors we hide behind, within the closed shades. Hide in a room, turn off the lights,
In here or not, doesn’t matter anyways.
But I’d like to express my gratitude for everyday.
Grateful, humble, and peaceful
For all that can not be taken away.
I try to claw my way out from 6 feet under,
It’s deep, dark, ...

LET'S FALL IN LOVE
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February 12, 2019
 

Feeling so empty inside
These thoughts just will not die
No medication
No conversation
Could ease the things going through my mind.
These words will live on
Long after I am gone
For they are put in writing
And our bodies will be buried, cremated, turned to ashes or just gone.
Those will try to sell this,
Those will try to spread this
But that was never the point
Some of us just need an outlet
Maybe to vent
Maybe to forget
Either way it doesn’t matter in the end.
Feeling like I’m in a prison
Alone with my thoughts and all of my vision
I see it so clear
What they want to see and hear
What is it I fear?
That is the problem.
For, I do not fear.
Fear is for the weak and
I have a...

READ A LOT WRITE A LOT
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February 12, 2019
 

Do we live amongst strangers?
We live alongside every danger
Are angels here to guide us
What is wrong inside of us?
They say follow the light
But an awakened one knows that isn’t right
The light is the way
They way is so dark
Why do you think they call it the narrow path?
Wake up everyone
This is not time to sleep
Walking around or acting like sheep.
The daily bleep.
Work. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.
Is that all we are?
I don’t believe.
I don’t believe that we are only here to be.
We need to exist
We need to form a future
Of change, of fresh air,
For generations to breathe.
Only then will our time here be non obsolete.
Forgive or forget
It does not matter
They say fight with all y...

LET'S FALL IN LOVE
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February 12, 2019
 

Shattered Abuse
By: Tiffany Lewis

Break another glass
And fall to the ground
Weak in the knees
Because no ones around.

So, you look up above
And you say to yourself
Why does have to happen
Why to me or anyone else?
You beg for the peace
That will never come or pass.

The telephone rings,
You know who it is
Still you pick it up, so scared,
Knowing, It’s that voice of his. Always wants to argue, and blame you for things,
That you know you didn’t do,
So you have another drink.

He hangs up on you
Then, you throw down the phone
And there goes that glass,
Once again you’re all alone.

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SUPER HERO OR VILLAIN?
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February 12, 2019
 

One who overthinks
Is surely one who over loves.
Fight too hard for love -
They will call you crazy.
When that hard loving crazy is no more,
When the memories become hazy,
they’ll wish that they
Had chosen to embrace it
Both sooner and when they had it  
That is one thing that’s for sure.
So don’t judge to occupy your mind
Don’t set people into categories
Or you’ll only see the boxes, and
That which makes you blind.
Love instead, love deep
Love hard, love fast,
Love until you can’t sleep.
That is the kind of love
That you deserve
Nothing short of that- for sure.
Love is a choice, Love is the point.  
Crazy as it may seem,
Love with more than you have
Either way,  and every day....

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
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