My day started at 3 in the morning like all other days. The coffee was not hot enough and it was weak. I could not taste the hazelnut that the box said it was flavored and the gluten-free oatmeal I eat everyday was thick. The weather app said it was going to be a little bit colder than the other day. 53 degrees. I've walked around in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt when it was only 45 several winters ago, I'll survive the short distance between the warm building and dry inside of my car. I keep telling myself that. After an hour and a half of high intensity interval training in the heated pool, I pat the water off my skin with what used to be quite a fluffy April Fresh-smelling towel. It now ...
I succumbed to the idea of embracing life alone. I feel no bitterness nor regret, numbness nor resentment that burdens my heart. I feared that by making such choice I’d be consumed by guilt for depriving myself of everything that could be. I let go of hope and life no longer became a walk in quick sand. It no longer dragged me down leaving me desperate and out of breath. Each new step was in the direction I was meant to be. I live not for the past and future unknown, I promised myself... there’s nothing but NOW. All I have is NOW.
I feel so joyful for writing a letter on this auspicious day of Diwali.
Heartfelt wishes to all of you on this festival of light.
This festival is celebrated as a symbolic gesture of "Victory of Light over Darkness".
May all the darkness you are facing will be conquered by the light of your wisdom.
May all your insecurities will be diminish by your self-belief.
And above all,
May all you have the force be with you in the journey towards your destiny.
Some people will tell you to never look back... it’s not where you’re going. Understand that there’s an excellent point we need to learn from this but when you find that some days moving forward seems the most difficult thing to do, go ahead and look back only to see how far you’ve come.
My eyes wandered recklessly the other night as I drove the familiar street. I’ve been here, I seem to remember yet I know it was the first time I was lost in this place. Looking around I was sure that this was new to me but I was pulled towards the empty parking lot. Going with the flow of what seems to be a sign, I picked the space closest to the door of this hole in the wall. The flickering neon light above the entrance suggested I come in. Quiet as it was I heard faint whispers. Nostalgia hit me. I was drawn to the last table by the window. I sat not expecting anything when a woman approached me and offered me a cup of tea that I accepted.
What was I to do here? Should I order something ...
I wanted to write you for days.
happy birthday!I know it was 10 days ago but still better late than ever.How does it feel to be 28?😜
Anyway i wish you all the best for this year.
Your friend jim
Happiest birthday Ophelia!
You were the one who kept encouraging me when I was new to lettrs world!
Thank you for being such a kind soul! May god bless you with lots and lots of happiness!
Hugs and love,
Happy Birthday O!!!
May you always stay a blessed and free soul.
And may you keep kicking butts for many many many many years more.
Close your eyes and make a wish,
Give it wings and let it fly,
Beyond the highest mountain tops,
Up into the clear blue sky.
Wish you a veryy
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY OPHELIA"
Saving hope requires an enormous amount of courage to not go back to what has become comfortable and reassuring. In the beginning, clarity and enthusiasm creates the sought-out path. Day after day, life appears slightly different until it becomes the new norm when the expected new results seem to take forever.
Without a clear sign of progress, it feels like nothing is happening. It is important to remember the 'why'. Depending on how we look at things, we might be easily swayed by what surrounds us. No two journeys are alike. Each is specifically customized and therefore any comparison to those of others can pull you back to where you do not want to be.
At precisely th...
People collect memories and outside of the precious thoughts we keep, we treasure photographs, letters and other things sometimes forever. I used to have sentimental value of things given to me and I do not know if it's superstition that keeps them safe where I store them. They take up space wherever they are and I sometimes need that space for newer things. I don't like to keep things I don't need anymore but somehow I keep these mementos of happier days and painful times justified by a need to remind myself of what I've been through. Funny how keeping them means something when I have left them untouched in what seems like lifetimes ago. Is it the knowledge that these things are within arm's...
Disappointments and I go way back. At that time I didn't have a name for it. When I was young, I thought everyone's life was the same. I didn't have the slightest clue that my life was far "better" than of those who surrounded me. Because I had everything I needed and had no idea I could possibly need more, I had no disappointments. Ignorance is bliss. I was raised to be grateful for everything... period. There was no wiggle room for personal desires, the necessity to want more or other than what was given to me. I was terribly sheltered. If I didn't have something that others had, there was a reason for it and I had no need to find out why or was taught to not find out why... or simply know ...
Stand firm and do not allow yourself to bully you with negative thoughts. Fight for your life.
I am not a patient person. Growing up sheltered has made a large contribution to that dilemma. I certainly never had to wait and my world spun filled with magic. There was magic to getting things I wanted, needed or getting things done. At a drop of a hat, time and time again it was proven to me. Life was certainly good. Some people call that 'spoiled'. I beg to differ.
Young, curious and suspicious I paid a lot of attention. I learned that there was a price for everything. My needs were not material things. Those were given to me before I wanted them. Freedom to do what a normal child usually gets I could never have. My so-called privileged life subjected me to a full schedule of mandator...
I strongly believe that we are born complete and have the capacity to love, forgive, learn and reach our highest potential. Throughout life we are exposed to what surrounds us and we slowly change. We evolve, as intended. Some of us have that awareness of who we are at a very young age but it dissipates in the journey. It seems like we've lost it but it's simply pushed aside as we learn things. We are influenced greatly time after time by those we are born to, those we love, dislike, hate and hope to meet. Everything under the sun has an influence on us. There will be a moment in our lives when our true selves beg to resurface then we have an inkling that we are not who we think we are today....
On my way to nowhere...
Habit has me getting up at 3:30 in the morning mostly seconds before the alarm sounds off. I did not take the time to look at the room I was in. It was no longer an unimaginable thought that I'm here. I have embraced the fact that I was willing to change to see a different outcome. Having no power to control anything other than my own thoughts and actions I remain grounded. I have no delusions that cloud my judgement. Years and years of unnecessary hurt inflicted on me resulted in hate and pride. How heavy the burden was that I carried needlessly. I let that go.
The silence, reassuring... I walked around knowing I'm the only person awake. Purposefully I keep tell...
On my way to nowhere...
Freedom from the daily grind is often inviting. Taking a vacation is an escape... our society conditions our minds. Vacations seemingly promise a change of pace, relaxation, good times. I saw a shirt hanging from a store window that most people describe my lifestyle - I'm Always On Vacation. I make no effort to change their thought. I once explained myself when I was a rookie decades ago. It was pointless talking to people who already made up their minds. Amused, I was tempted to buy it.
Just as scheduled I received a text. I was on my way to lunch somewhere, undecided. Not fazed by indecision I put on a stylish distressed pair of capris and a flimsy Wonder Woma...
On my way to nowhere...
Day two started with an unfamiliar refrigerator hum. Who would have thought that I would be able to tell the difference from the one I have at home and this. Like people, refrigerators may look exactly alike but a subtle identifying difference will scream "I'm different!" Looking around with one eye half-open and the other defiantly uncooperative, I remembered where I was. So far, it was the coolness of the room that reassured me I left home, I did not change my mind. I am stubborn in ways that only justify how well I know myself and I was definitely not in my comfort zone. I have taken a leap of faith to a seemingly pleasant war zone. There's something surreal abo...
My worst realization is fighting for someone who will not fight for me. I hope my pain is worth a thousand times over of joy for someone else.
On my way to nowhere...
I think about the faint sound of the alarm when it woke me. It was barely a buzz and could easily be mistaken for the random sounds I hear surrounding me. I can't say that it could be compared to a light tap on the shoulder when someone finds you've dozed off sitting in a waiting room. It was definitely a soft whisper so close to the ear of someone saying something inaudible that makes you wonder if it was part of a fading dream. Nonetheless the feeble tone demanded my attention.
I woke up with frightening anticipation that I am going somewhere on a whim. Some things were packed the night before because I felt the need to have them and others, because I needed ...
It's always something...
Starting over is never convenient but knowing what I now know and going through the similar changes over the years I thought this life has been an easy transition. From this to that with a better attitude armed with hope and enthusiasm I move forward dealing with the changes. Making note of the differences and sameness I step back to reflect on these things. Why so easy? Could this possibly be just the way it is? Good for me! Life has finally decided to be kinder. I'm thankful.
Out and about seemingly not affected by what's strangely new, I encounter the bumps and snags. I'm tougher now. I'm better at patching up the cuts and nicks. The newness of a smooth transiti...
It is true what some people say...
When you train your mind to be grateful for everything your heart is open to see the lessons and blessings. Amidst chaos, this profound thought when always with you will pull you away from the negative and help you rise above. Gratitude opens doors for more good things to come to you. Don't be afraid. Be thankful for everything...
When your soul is simply waiting for your body to get with the program every 4 in the morning, I have to say I am many many steps ahead. My whole being has come to realize this buddy system works. Knowing myself enough from having the difficult conversations with myself has brought me here. There is no shade of gray. Everything is in full color. Gone are the endless days of "what now", "I don't know", "not so sure" and "not today." Life is so much simpler. The skies are always blue even when it's raining cats and dogs. Not to say that no new questions come up. There's always something I may not know... but the answers are not hard to find. The challenges are what keeps life interesting. Mind,...
Dear Lady Lettrist,
I'm going through a period of growth. Changes are challenging, aren't they? Oh but so necessary! With change, I can't help but to think of the symbolism in the life of a butterfly. Without anything but survival instincts, and that which God has given it, every caterpillar lives , bound within limitations of distance and elevation. When then, life seems so hard, almost too possible, God's preplanned Beautiful invites this creature to embrace itself with protection, love, shelter, and rest. I can only imagine how exhausted these little creatures must be by the time in their life when they are meant to create their chrysalis!! They made it. Trials and Victories, hang ...
On Friday nights, little kids participate in my class. This class allows you to push and pull only but the kids have trouble differentiating a push from a strike.
It's a challenge to partner up with a little child. When they are 5 and 6 years old they're three feet tall and everyone has to adapt. I have to stand lower in my stance even if it kills my knees and I am likely getting pushed in my gut which is normally their chest level. As short as I am they are unable to reach my shoulders without disconnecting. We have to stay connected at all times. They have small hands and tend to grip with their fingernails digging in my skin. Self-control is something that takes a long time to learn.