|Living life, dreaming with eyes open, with music in my heart and taps in feet. Musingabstracts of who,what,why I am. www.instagram.com/connectingnicky|
Even before my mind registers
My body responds to your presence
It sighs and sways
With your closeness
Those fingers maps the destinations
Chart the scales, slips down the bends
Into the depths eternal.
As I close my eyes
Drift to slumber
You awaken my body
My spirit from depths
With those fingers
Tracing the outline of
That sinful curve.
Oh, you dirty mind
I talked about my lips
But, I like the way you think.
I have that beautiful dress
Little black dress
I guess, every woman has, one.
With music in background,
All the time.
I brushed my hair,
Added a little drama to my eyes
Pinched my cheeks peaches
Glossed my lips red
Put on black stilettos
Grabbed that sexy lady from refrigerator
Uncorked it and took a big swig
The way it swirled in my mouth
Slipped inside my throat to my chest
Making a red trail
Sending flush to my skin
Then I swayed to my song.
Song, that talks about you and me.
I had a secret rendezvous with your memories that night.
What’s knowing if I have to open my eyes to see you...
Even in slumber, I can sense your heat, your fragrance surrounding me
I know when you are smiling down at me
How long you had been standing by the bed and looking at me
Imprinting the lines of night we spent finding and losing and finding each other
I can’t deceive you much, fake the sleep enough
That blush, that smile spreads from my lips to neck to the depths of unending desires
That’s the deal
Dark curtailed memories
Rushing dread in veins
Cold sweat running on back.
So, the incessant need to talk.
Silence wrecks havoc on senses
Why incessant chatter?
To fill the voids in between the conversations
The silence in between those fractions of seconds,
There are no monsters under the bed or outside the window
They are all inside our minds, tucked in nooks and crannies like some unforgettable memories
Tonight, hold me in your arms
Breathe my silence
Let it sync with the rise and fall of your chest
Entwine your limbs in mine
Your fingers playing with my tresses
While I rest my head on your shoulder
And you hold me soft and close to your body
Ensconced in your warmth
There I lie wishing for the night to stay forever
Let this night paint the memory of our slow and sweet love together
Engraving each trickle of sweat, and every whimper in the sands of time.
This night, of all the nights
May not come to rest in the embrace of lovers
For they dream and dreams are meant to be just dreams.
I seek none except me
What is the ultimate truth—it’s your existence.
And this truth eludes me
Sends me on a quest far and wide
They: Once spoken,
It’s lost- a word.
Me: Once out in the world—
Spreads its echoes around this universe.
And, lives forever.
They: ‘Echo’ comes back from emptiness.
Me: Well, aren’t we all empty...
On the blot of psyche
The haze of nothingness
Reiterating dots of existence
Are just the dots
—the gaping void.
There are certain things like books, music or a piece of art that always beckons your spirit and makes you feel that there is always a chance to fall in love again and again. And, there is always a novelty every time— something never experienced before.
Hold my hands
Trace my body
With your fingers entangled in mine
Leaving your fragrance in me.
I would want it to stay with me
As long as I breathe
Hours after you had left my arms
I’ll stay wrapped in sheets
To make your fragrance linger
Seep from my skin to soul
And lull me to never ending sleep
Because, you know, I know
These moments spent are not coming back
You are not coming back
I sold my soul to devil
To steal few moments in your arms
You, mister have taken my heart
For a long stroll
Neither you are returning it to me
Nor I see a hope of
You being a keeper of it.
So what is it you want?
I don’t want to be the mess of
Your broken promises and
My shattered expectations
at the end of this little story
we have spinning around the spindle
for long now.
Of burning desires
—the soot of my love.
Sitting by the window ledge
feet curled under my knees
I look at the pages of my diary
Flapping against the wind.
echoes the distant dreams
Of love told and untold.
And, the aroma of the passion
spent in your arms, tucked
In between the folds and creases
Of those sheets—
Narrates the story of love we had.
We could have.
And, we don’t have.
Because, love went
unspoken of all the while...
while we dreamt of it.
Those soft white petals
With yellow sheen in them
—ah! Those are my favourite, Frangipani.
Oh, and I have noticed how you lock your gaze on me
While I traipse bare feet on grass
Can you see those tiny little twigs sticking around my toes, dews from grass shining on my feet...
I know, why my breathing picked up a pace
It’s because I can feel the burn of your gaze on me, devouring my senses
I could feel you moving around
—To stand and pick that Frangipani lying under the tree
As I turn to face you, you push that errant lock of hair behind my ear
And thread in it the white bloom
All the while I’m looking at you wondering
Would you ever be telling me —you love me
Or I may just have to wait whole...
You have me on strings,
Not everyone can see.
And, those my love—
Are for your eyes to see
and, for my heart
to be strung.
For you, I’m a blank slate
Write me the way you want
Colour me the way you desire
Give me words or give me hues
I’m all yours, darling!
Make me yours
Whichever way you choose.
Tonight, I pour my heart out again
Spending night enwrapped
in your memories
Is worth more than this life.
I would lay down on grass, my hair loose spread on wild grass, bare feet, and keep looking at sky full of stars , while breeze play with my body.
Will you hold my hand and show me the constellations?
Will you murmur sweet nothings into my ear?
I see the eternity of our love in those moments sparkling the sky
Held in between our fingers for the aeons to come.
I miss you,
Do I need to sing verses
Or get lost swaying
To the melancholy tune
My heart plays.
Come what may
I’m still going to miss you.
I can’t soothe this burning ache
— my eyes keep wandering
To every sound, what if it’s you?
And if it’s you, would I be able to
Scribble these love notes
These heart wrenching words
Reverberating the pain of your absence
With every beat of my heart?
I miss you.
Sleep has no part in my life.
I cannot sleep or I won’t sleep— lines are blurred.
Nights are beautiful, as they beckon my spirit.
Afternoons, curtained and sun shy room,
Reflecting the scarlet walls all over the surface resonates the peace my soul seeks
The moments I spent with myself are rare and beautiful. It’s just me and the low humming of my heart.
In my own way
I’m the incomplete song.
Waiting for you to pick up
the thread and complete
the notes for lovers to sing
And, my mind— it’s a maze of conflicting desires, wishes and lost dreams and battered self dancing on the tunes of broken record.
Now that it rains
The melancholy hour washes away
Purging my soul
Of doubts that plague
My mind in your absence
May be it’s the herald of your arrival
That monsoon has sung