|Queen to my feelings and sometimes a prisoner to them too. Most of what I write, is driven by the happy energy or the sadness that broke me. 😊🤓|
My heart still flutters with the shortest glimpse of your visage within my sight.
There's a reason why you're the only man I called my Jaan.
Now I know why?
Because truly this heart has you engraved with each beat and its been restless since you've been gone for a long while now.
I've been to places, that I've not knownn,
I've been singing to the songs unheard,
My melody comes from within,
And my memory is searchin...,
I've been to places I don't belong,
I've been singing to the rythm I don't know,
And all I want is to go home,
To the place that I know..
You've been on my mind this whole time,
I've been thinking of what it meant to be home,
hey my homeeeee,
Where'd you go?
Sleepless nights, endless tears,
I've not been true to all my fears,
I make believe that everything is alright,
And now I'm
Searchin...for my homeee.
- If we were to live on self love, the world would have so much of happy couples who love themselves and each other so much..
- expectations are a way of building unnecessary amount of hope only to be betrayed by others again. So just stick with yourself.
-always learn to love yourself enough to decide and chose a path for yourself. Or else you'll be living under the shadow of somebody.
-sometimes you get so used to being alone people think you're such a sad person, but little did they know how this person enjoys her me time.
And sometimes keeping to yourself for far too long becomes toxic when you fail to see happiness in the company of others who care.
- idolizing your ...
He said he left his heart behind while casually laughing....
What an arse! Just be upfront duhh...
There were numerous times in my young life,
I find myself sobbing helplessly on my bedroom floor.
I even find myself drying up my tears while trying to fall asleep,
I know that each time it happens,
I would yearn for a touch of kindness,
a tight hug, strong arms holding me and whispering
"its gonna be alright, its okay to cry, you're not alone"
But I never gave myself that opportunity,
neither have I ever earned it from anyone in my life.
Yet I strongly believe that I can go on without it,
Because a lonely heart is still the strongest on its own.
But still I wish I had that hug when I need it,
or I can go on thinking about it once in a blue moon.
Life is not just a dream,
Its an art of living,
We're only human, so remember that
Each one of us are trying, struggling, tripping, falling, waiting and lingering,
To find our path to live a life worth living,
Some get lost along the way and we found loss amongst us,
Some find enlightenment,and they guide those who are willing to take the ropes to their life and live,
As long as we acknowledge everyone as human beings trying to live a life they think they want, no matter how small or big their dreams and goals are,
Always show a little kindness to each one
Because that's the simplest form of love you show to your fellow humans and to yourself.
Someone told me that even if your heart is filled with pain, and it reflects on your writing, just keep writing everything you feel away,
so that you'll run out of pain and write about the beautiful things in life again.
"When spoken words fail,
when tears run dry,
let the words overflow the blank canvas to give you a little familiar comfort."
When we promised ourselves to each other, it was in good faith.
We promised when times were good, the sky clear and the air crisp.
Its a shame when that promise
Didn't stand true when the going gets tough, the ground shook and the reality blotched with dark ink,
The one time when one needs the other to stand up and take charge,
One ran away from the hurt, the other just stood in shame and regret.
P.S: So much for promises huh?
Humans having hope is a messed up feeling... You only hope when things seem bleak, when your confidence have floored and you're only left with hope. Its the last resort and so much of effort is put into that large feeling of hope. Its just as big as love. Heck people even put hope into their love. So why is it so hard to not hope? Just accept the reality and move on already! Hope is the worst kind of feeling after being disappointed and hurt a million times and yet the weakest of them all will HOPE.
Now is hope your future form of gratitude? Because it seems like the word hope is used as a wishing star in a starless sky.
Just like that,
If love was anything similar to the way I used to believe.... I hope that eventually we'll find our way back to each other if its meant to be. I've completely let go of you.. Yet my heart still yearns for your presence like its my diastolic S2. I wish its still you despite it all.
My mind races with thoughts...
The adrenaline of putting the words to a beautiful wordy piece of art...
Yet they're just stuck there...like the things we wish to say is at the tip of our tongue..
If my heart would just pour itself out...
It'll be all there..the beautiful feeling of care, self love,
the heart still heavy with pain and loneliness.
All at once..
The face could be smiling..
How long would it take to reveal the real girl behind that thou?
I seldom wonder...
How did a person so close to my heart end up being the reason for my anxiety attacks?
I love him more than anything and its just painful to know that its over.
It hurts so much,
I keep wishing,
I've never met you in the first place.
Stupid love, silly me.
When you try to write something with an empty feeling.... Its all ink on paper, not words from inside.
I would really love to find myself happy again, so that I can write about the thing I cherish so much.
Hopes and Wishes...
Do you wanna travel with me?
Would you want to get to know me for who I am? And learn all the sad and happy things about me?
Would you realise why I might have the sweetest smile is probably because I keep myself happy outside because inside I'm feeling lonely?
Would you spend some extra time with me to learn about my crazy little mind and tiny habits that I wouldn't notice?
Would you perhaps think of all the reasons why you'll like to spend some time with me without hoping for too much?
Will you notice that your presence would calm me down instantly?
Would you get to know me enough to let me into your mind and share your little secrets or feelings just because,
Would you be grateful to have ...
Everyday is a new beginning and whatever regrets you have in the past. It'll fade away over time as long as you'll live to correct your mistakes and be a better person eventually. It takes a long journey for some, and short journeys for others to come to terms with themselves and finally enjoy life just as it is.
I've gotten better at enjoying life but my soul and emotions have been traded for that short happy moments. I'm not sure what I'm doing anymore., but i suppose some sense would catch up to me and remind me of who I am and what's my worth. Seems like I'm in the wrong path again and I hope you'll crawl back out of this soon.
Till then, love you loads and just enjoy your d...
It was like a ghost staring right back at me..
Even thou it was a split second glimpse,
Even if its just a still picture that I accidentally swiped left so fast,
It made my heart pound hard,
And gave way to tears in seconds..
Because that ghost i just saw,
Was my favorite person,
Who's in a dating app...
That handsome ghost...
I want that kind of love.
The kind that where you say i love you to someone with no rational reason, you just feel like you do.
The kind of love where you think of a hundred reasons why you love that person, but you've got to agree that no 100 reasons are gonna justify that love you have inside your heart.
I want that love with someone which would make me love the love i have for myself and us. The kind of love that doesn't just give up halfway through the struggle. The kind of love that would teach me lessons in my lifetime lived. The kind of love i would be grateful for every passing day ,
no matter the pain and hardship because in the end of each storm you'll believe there's a rainbow at...
Everytime my eyes close, they just go back to an image of me being in your embrace. There's nothing else in the world that would make me feel right at home. The tight hugs you gave me is just as symbolic as a ship returning to its harbor after a long long journey away. Now that ship has sailed so far away, it is lost in the sea with no destination but the goal is to move forward in search of another home.
That homey feeling you get when you're hugging someone, I'm grateful for it.
I love you forever, my home.
"Just because you love someone, doesn't mean you get to have them. And just because you can't believe its over, doesn't mean you shouldn't accept it."
Time and time I wish someone would yell that to my face so that my mind would stop with the maybe's and the what if's. I just hope in the course of living life, someone would catch up with me to be there for me in the form of a human, rather than fake friendships and chat messages.
I love all the support I can get from the digital world, but all I've yearned for in life is just that...
For the time being, I've got enough love from myself and my family.
Gratitude makes me believe that someday I'll earn my special someone.
For my future self,...
The irony of a girl,
who sought after some pain,
just so that she could let some tears loose,
Yet, the pain was nothing,
Instead happiness took over at the sight of her memories being permanently etched into her skin.
It's beautiful to her eyes and she's accepted it whole heartedly.
Now she only hopes for more to come.
I've always missed the peace that I've lost along with you.
My mind ,a whirlwind of thoughts,
The good, the bad ,the worst,
Each strand of tots are ropes,
Leaving me to choke on my tears,
There's never a night I've gone to sleep without thinking about you
And how i wish to be craddled back
Into your arms and
Gaze into your eyes,
I wish to be there,
Right away, right now,
Dare I not leave your side for good,
for i know the pain of losing you..
And it feels like an eternity
Of torment and sadness.
I've lost the peace in me, along with your presence in my life....
This moment, this place, this time,
this particular milisecond of a moment..
Its all wrong ,wrong, wrong...
My mind is tired ,my body fatigued and my soul weeping and hurt...
It feels so wrong to be like this,
Hasn't enough time passed by me,
Haven't enough people interacted with me to forget my unfortunate fate..
Haven't i suffered enough?
Why am I here again?
Silence apparently wasn't the answer,
But being silent all this while has driven me crazy and I wish ,
I really do wish, that someone or something could help me with this..
I really don't know what to do anymore with myself.....
PS; How has "sighing" become part of my everyday... And the occasional tears?
Its a lonelier world out there, especially when you find out that he knows you've been hurtin all these time.
Promised myself that i won't revisit the sore thorn in my memories, promised myself that its better to let go than keep harbouring feelings for you,
I truly promised myself to live a better life than before.....
But i just can't help going to that grey area... The pain still has a thousand memories of you my love,
And i wish i could be with you again
Whatever happened to taking chances in love and mending what's broken...
I just need you yet its impossible now.
Does it make sense that i kinda miss you so much?
Despite all the heartaches and dissapointments , along with my denials and such...
I miss you,
I miss the inseparable long hugs,
Kisses on the forehead,
The angle of your face from being in your embrace,
That happy smile you give when you see me,
And the way your eyes lit up when I'm back...
I wish we could have been in that bubble of peace a little longer.
Just like that last brief hug, my memories of your face and embrace is fading slowly, pretty soon I'll probably forget you all along, physically but nothin can take away the sweets and sours we've had in our brief lifetime together. I love you.
Lots of love,
I guess life is to celebrate every kind of emotions that comes our way,
Every form of love and affection should be celebrated because you'll never know which ones last and which one don't...
It's hard to be a wandering soul and not catch feelings on the way...
As much as we love our freedom, we still love the idea of sharing our life...
Until recently I've only seen it as an anchor, now I know it's just our human nature to be part of people's life.
We can be in solitude for a while, but when we share em, it's a nice feeling.
So I hope one day I'll catch feelings again.