|Queen to my feelings and sometimes a prisoner to them too. Most of what I write, is driven by the happy energy or the sadness that broke me. 😊🤓|
I've never learned to trust or believe anything that comes easy to me. All my life, I've been putting up a fight with fate.. So when you came into my life four years ago.. I didn't believe it.. I was still unsure of you because you came to me too easy.. And I've failed to appreciate you for being in my life.. No matter how much of love you poured into me.. I kept waiting for you to walk away.... although grateful for your presence, I've had that uneasy feeling of disbelief..
Perhaps it was my lack of belief in myself, the lack of confidence in my luck and life..
So it took me to do the extreme mistake to test the waters.. And I pushed you out of my life.. It happened so fast, it took me awh...
I saw you and your friends at the party, I was helping out as part of a crew.
It's been awhile since I last saw you in person,
Yet my heart races and my face lights up seeing the familiar face,
Your lanky tall build, and smiley face, and those dimples that adorns your visage...
Our eyes met, brief greetings were exchanged.
I carried my box of stuff back to storage..
You followed behind, wanting to talk. We rested at the common area, I was asking how were you doing and what's on?
He's not teaching anymore, just started a business and I suppose it's going good.
We were exchanging business contacts, his friend was next to him.. I introduced myself... And that obvious question c...
Been up all mornin,
Staring at the ceiling,
Overthinking has kept me up,
Till the 5am alarm rang,
Time to get up and shower,
Everything is okay I tell myself,
Smile in the mirror for self consolation,
Life's just moving on,
It was three months ago,
That's the last time I've felt any kind of love from someone else than me,
I've missed my home and I hope he's doing alright too.
Goodbye and good morning to me.
Bliss is you sitting in your underwear after a long cold shower.... In this scorching weather...
Along with the silence, some loneliness creeps inside, a little bit of peace and quiet, and the emptiness becomes bearable again.
Have you ever felt so crazy numb ?
And you're stuck with it till you figure out the puzzle to get out of that maze. Sometimes you wish you had some help, but no one can really understand and relate to your unique soul and spirit .. So you prefer to figure it out on your own, which makes the journey longer and you know there's more mistakes, thunderstorm and milestones to pass before you arrive out of that mind maze you've sent yourself into. And the irony of it is, if you really wanted, you could flip that maze upside down and lay a straight path for yourself, but...
You were the reason for my laughter and joy, you were also the reason for the pain in me.. But the kind of pain I would be grateful for because they're mostly just me yearning for your presence in my life.
After a short pause of us, I've just realised you don't really love me like that.. Not exactly like the way you imagined.. I don't know if it's because of the hurt I've inflicted on you or many other listed reasons you have on a pdf document that you neatly typed out for me... But I know now the extent of our bond is superficial enough to be broken by an outsider.
I know that I'm not regretting my past anymore.. And I've learned that you've moved on quite well. I'm happy that we've put th...
I miss the feeling of missing someone, a home to come back to, and someone to speak with.
What did I do?
It's because the words flow better in a paper or a blank canvas.
It's because when my voice fails, lettrs is my medium to communicate,
It's because I trip over my own voice and words when I speak.. At least in a lettr, everything is straight up raw and editable.
It's because when I'm all alone, my voice is still heard here...
And because I love this app so much for the good and bad memories I've got.
Letters can be my medium to my past, my present and hopefully my future growth.
That feeling of longing for someone else than your own company...
Do you know how that feels?
Loving yourself becomes easier when there's someone you could show kindness to.. Loving another is as therapeutic for the soul and for your favorite person.
At least that's how it is for me..
She sits on her table, the windows open, the sun setting down, and the laptop open to the e-book she's supposed to be reading .
Looks to the other side of the room, and sees an empty chair and table, she's always longed for a close friend, but her room's always empty.
Her roomie is always away with her friends, always out, always happy and her company has always been wanted by others.
She doesn't hate her for it, but she sure does envy the girl's chance to meet people who's like her.
Oh well, she says.. Better luck next year, and the books becomes her companion again.
She has thought to herself, that if the lone path has chosen her for life, she'll be a doctor who buries her life with ...
Fleeing is what I do best,
When everything is annoying, I'll cave back into my shell, if someone were to still poke me, I'll go berserk, and run away.
Fleeing is what I do, when things get too hard, sometimes I run away so that I can cry, shout and scream my lungs out elsewhere....in the deepest pit of my mind.
Fleeing is what I do when the person I love so much brings despair rather than love, I run away so that I wouldn't be mean and say hurtful things,
Fleeing is what I hope to do, every time someone or something is ticking me off..but sometimes there's no escape, and my true nature of madness gets revealed, in a way, it's also a form of permanent escape.
Fleeing isn't all bad, because...
I close my eyes, and I see the sun and the sea, I can hear the waves crashing in the distance, I can see you, with your back turned away, you've been turned away in most of my dreams lately, and I've been trying to reach out too.. And then I open my eyes, miles away from you, alone in my dorm, reality checks in and I head to class. I'm still happy to have had that dream, at least part of you is still in my memories, and I know I dream of it because I crave for your company too.
I'm waiting like always, for you..
When I'm all alone in the room, my little devil thoughts come haunting me, to remind me that I'm alone in the room because I have no life outside of class.
But I just realized that there's more to being left alone with your thoughts, you learn to reprogram your mind, and learn to love the "me" time. Cheers to studying in peace and happiness...
I love my space...
What did I miss?
I scrutinized every last detail of your problem, I even asked you repeatedly about what you're going through with,
I literally sat there listening to your story for an whole hour,
Only to realize that I missed the big picture of it all...
It's too late to even turn around because I'm back home..
Realizing that I have to open my mind up to see the larger picture, so that I wouldn't make the same mistakes twice.
I've no one but me to blame
For the way we're drifting apart,
We're no where close to what we used to be,
Again it might be my heart missing our happy moments,
It might be my wishful thoughts to spend more time together loving each other,
Than me loathing you for being absent in my life,
I've grown lonely without your attention,
I've grown tired of waiting,
I've grown to be happy with the little things I have, the little time you spare me, the little comfort you give from time to time over the phone,
but my heart desires to be wanted.
I'm afraid it has grown cold and hard,
I am trying my best to keep it warm for you, but the empty promises you make and the amount of disappointments I'v...
Sometimes, it's nice to dwell upon the moments when you first started out together,
In relationships, the best memories were always when you started courting and enjoy the flirty comebacks..
If things were as smooth as that forever.. It'll be sweet pie..
But honestly, it's always a bittersweet ale.. You can't put a taste to it, but you keep on sipping it and ask for a refill..
How sad is tis life..
L : Learn to tolerate each other dearly,
O : Opt to share responsibilities for each others happiness and life
V : Very sincerely apologize and improve on mistakes.
E : Enjoy the sex and adventures together
L. O. V. E = love operates very equally.
I'm on the way to losing my luck with words since lately my words have been so sour to read. Heartbreaks doesn't help me write... Only happy times are my muse.
There's this one thing that always haunts me wherever I go.. I am scared to be alone. I know it's good to be independent and strong willed, but must I feel lonely doing that? I've always found it hard to find someone who is worthy of being good friends with me. I just want to share my thoughts with someone without having to filter it.. And I wouldn't mind listening to what others have to say. I want to have good times together, to go out together.. But that's all have been wishful thinking for the past 20 years. When I do find a good friend, my circumstances change and I have to move else where.
I've never really entertained the fact that besides being a hardworking and a bright g...
Romantic Love doesn't build up on its own, does it now? If it did, it's probably a premature crush or a one sided admiration. Love mostly builds up on patience, patience to see each other after a long long time.. Patience by putting up with the incompetent lover, patience to deal with immaturity and patience to wait for the love you long for because you know deep inside that you've met someone worthy of all the heartbreaks in the world, because he loves you just as much. There's never been a perfect love.. Just love with patience and a sincere heart.
My light may fade from time to time, which is why I need you more like oxygen to keep me alight.
You're most welcome into my life, and I wish you know how much you meant to me. I need you to keep me going, to keep me in line, to keep me in check with reality before I lose my sanity to the workload and stressful environment that I live in. Yes, you're right I maybe a strong girl, but it wouldn't hurt to have someone else to lean on when I'm taking a breather.
You're my fuel to my light.. And I love you enough to let you know how vulnerable I'll be without you in my life.
She's wondered if she's a little bit less tougher, would she get the attention that every other girl gets from their lover?
If she's a little less independent, little less stronger and little more dependent on him, will he be aware of her feelings and come home to her?
Or will he find her weak and leave her for leaning on to him even more?
Boy does she feel,
that her strength puts a distance to them.
There's no doubt about their love when they're together, but he's obviously delusional about her not craving for his attention.
The boy's a wanderer and the girl is a love sick soul.
Some people get inspired and wordy after they get their heart broken,
While some just lose their smile,
Some get bullied so deep into their dark mind, they get depression,
Some wake up from the nightmare, and build a life for themselves,
What about that girl?
She feels like she's losing her peace of mind that prevents her from going cuckoo and kill someone.
She wishes her life was a lil balanced to keep herself going.
She wish she didn't get her heart broken again,
The ironic tale of the girl who kept chasing after love.
Her heart is pure and simple,
You have to protect it if you believe she's yours,
She wears her heart on her sleeve,
she keeps her heart open for others to peek in and connect, but you're supposed to be keeping watch, to make sure she's not gonna get hurt from being too naive,
But if the man she keeps her heart open to,
Keep letting her down, again and again,
She's already broken by the time you get to her,
Her heart's been scarred over and over,
Now she's just a soul with a broken heart.. No longer waiting for a fix,
she's just waiting to end it.
She's unguarded and dependent on you,
For her heart is pure and simple.
The biggest pain in my life, is my sorry ass.. Haha
I'm sure you'll all agree with me as soon as I give you 5 reasons why..
1. I love doing things that makes me feel happy, but when I'm not happy I end up with a crappy work that makes me unhappy even more after finishing the entire project...
2. I agree and disagree with my own opinions just be sure I'm making the right /best choice but in the process I'm sure to drive myself crazy.
3. My ability to reflect on things I do has got so much better, that one things lead to another.. I'm planning 10 years ahead of me.. Isn't that crazy, I'm just a kid.. Gimme a break girl!!
4. I don't think there's just 1 me in myself, sometime I wake up argu...
I miss you, my Rockstar,
I miss the music you play on your guitar,
I miss the hummings you make while writing a song,
I miss the words you sing while you're in bliss,
I miss your vibrant energy after a gig,
I miss the hearty laughs you have when we joke,
I miss the lullabies you sing while you stroke my hair,
I miss your warm hugs, whenever I'm sad,
I miss the long hours of shopping while I watch you pick your clothes.
I miss the time you give to the both of us, it was limited and I cherished it a lot.
You were my perfect Prince, yet you betrayed me.. And you left me picking up my broken pieces just like a song being stripped off it's chords..
I miss you? NO! I just miss my unbroken...
Note to herself:
She's only left his arms less than a day,
She's been missing him since he took a step back away from her,
When his back was turned,she quietly wishes that he'll come back to her again,
He's not the Prince Charming she wished for, neither is she a princess worth slaying the dragon for,
But she truly believes that this two souls are meant to be forever and ever.. Because there's no other love she wants to live forever for.
Stretch your arms to the endless possibilities,
Close in on the one that caught your eyes,
Stare at it again and decide if you're gonna take it till the end.
That's how you get to finish up one thing at a time.