|I m making a part of me immortal by writing it down. Ig: @a_flightless_bird__|
And if only feelings can replace the bloid in my veins,
The wounds on my wrist will never heal.
And it came late, but I m glad it came to me.
No, you never deserved any of it. The tears I've shed for you, the pain I went through and the efforts I made.
I should never have done those things, you never wanted them, you never cared.
I don't blame you for being who you are,
You were never there to wipe my tears off, never reciprocated my warm gestures and me, I honestly never wanted you to. I respected you enough to accept you for who you are. I loved you for what you have always been.
What I blame you is for knocking my door hard continuously when I had it shut with a signboard of do not disturb.
For climbing those high walls that I had built around myself to keep the war...
You know that drop in your stomach?
That little pain
You just felt?
Those goosebumps on your body,
That tiny shiver?
Once again, something you saw snatched the smile off your face??
No girl! He isn't worth it.
Insecure. Afraid. Hopeless.
That leads you to,
Impulsively jumping on conclusions,
Guilt filled reactions.
You kill your own happiness,
Expecting only sadness.
Its all a cycle,
One leading to another.
Only if it could ,
But Sorry does no good.
When you wanna scream so loud because it is becoming unbearable day by day.
When you wanna cry because the work is never ending.
When you cannot tell exactly where it pains because its all over.
When you prefer to walk miles because you are done sitting on that one desk for hours!!
When you don't wanna listen to one more motivational speech or a sympathetic lecture.
When you feel disconnected to wverything and everyone because no one seems to step in your shoes.
And you all this is for nothing
And maybe if , if it is for something
You are afraid that its not worth what you are losing to get it.
What do you do then??
Skylark challenge 134
Her presence was lucid , it use to brighten the world around her. Her smile infectious, you cannot help but smile back with her.
She keep saying that the essence of life is to live without regrets and yet the nostalgia of the darkness kept shadowing her.
Her facade was impenetrable.
When I think of her , I get Hallucination of her crying for help.
I couldn't save her from drowning in her own tears and chocking on her own screams.
At 3am when you are lying on your bed, chocking on your own scream, with a pillow wet with your tears and you feel like it cannot get any worse than this? How do you wait till morning? What hope can you possibly dare to have? That it gets better as the sun comes up?
How long does the hope lasts? Until the next sunset or even before that??
When people show faith in you that you don't have in yourself; you start feeling the weight of it on you.
Every time someone breaks your trust; it cracks your ability to trust as well.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DESERVE,
BUT I HAD DECIDED A LONG WAY BACK THAT I DON'T CARE! I KNOW WHAT I DESIRE AND I'LL FOCUS ON THAT.
They were two different souls,
She was fire and he, ice.
She was storm and he, calm ocean.
They both attempted to save the "us" part.
She with her fierce passion,
He with his emense wisdom.
He by creating oceans between them,
She by crossing those oceans.
What they both failed to realise was.
The fire and ice both burns!
In order to save "us"
They end up hurting each other.
Ehsaan kar mujhpe itna,
Chod de uske age dard byaan karna.
Rakhle kaid kar in kagazo me ise,
Kho dega tu apna wajood warna.
Khudki parchai se wakif nhi,
Mere kwab meri haqiqat me shamil nhi,
Sunhere aksharo m likh toh diya h tumhe,
Gar hasiyat meri kali shiyahi se badhkar na hui..
Wo sab kuch gwa kr apna, pana jo chaha tumhe,
Tumhe pakar bhi mukammal meri Mohobbat na hui,
Juthla kar wajood mera,
Mujhse hi mene khudko cheena..
Badi der hogyi yeh janne m ki tu is kabil nhi..
Teri khudgarziyo ko sawara h sab kuch luta k apna lekin..
Phir bhi teri nighaho me meri wo kimaat na hui..
M khud ko itna baksh du ki meri deewangi me
Na krdu khudko hi me bedakhal
Ki jagah mujhme tere lie kaafi na hui..
It's a phase,
Overrated and over evaluated.
Its a phase like no other,
A phase between two main phases.
An interim phase of sorrow and clashes.
Where pain is inevitable.
And life is lifeless.
Its a phase of unknowns
And a phase of
Where risk is dreadful
Whether you take it or not.
It's a phase
Of a bright night
Full of dark light.
It's a phase of
Creation of a new you
Somewhere out of the blue.
It's a phase!
Just a phase!
And like all other.
It shall pass as well.
khudki tabahi ka zasn b mnate h,
Zrra zrra jud kr fir bikhar jate h,
Kaym h mohobbt jinki bewafai k bad b,
Begunahi ki saza wo hr roz khate h.
The best part of being a writer is you can write your heart out and more than half of the readers won't get the depth of your masterpiece. Most people go for words, not for the feeling.
Wo cheenkh jisse rooh kamp uthe,
Aksar suni nahi pdhi jaati hai.
"The soul piercing silence is often read not heard."
Atrophy of "us".
I am afraid to let go,
I am afraid that I won't be able to feel again what I felt with you.
I am afraid that something this beautiful will not happen again,
That this is a once in a lifetime thing and I will forever be haunted by its memories.
I am afraid that with time I'll forget it ever happened that I won't be able to forget how I felt.
I am afraid that no one will ever be able to touch the parts of me you have marked with your touch.
Every cell of my body dances on the tune you hum and I'll forever be immobilized in your absence.
You bring out the sides of me, I still have to explore.
I m afraid of how vulnerable I get at the thought of losing you.
I am afraid...
Had hai berukhi ki, beparwahi ki had hai!
Dikhta teri ankho me, dard bhi toh behad hai.
Bebasi k ansu hai,
Hai besharmi k zakhm.
Be hisab Mohobbat me jo barbad hue ho tum.
The world stopped,
The time went beresek
And the life fell lifeless.
In the midst of chaos,
With lips sealed and
With pain trembling
With my bones
And blood draining
From the eyes.
I refuse to let
The darkness suffice
Some sinful desires,
Ripping of the clothes,
Just reading, turns you on.
Our bodies wrapped like
Part of one
Trailing my body with kisses
Teasing the tenderness
Our eyes met,
The pace is set,
With the rhythm up and down
Whispers and moan
Sigh and groan
Reality meets fantasy
And we reach the edge of ecstasy.
You have been an overwhelming experience for me; a year full of discoveries and learning about the world and self. I may hate some part of you. I do love a few, but I'll always retain what I have learned from you.
I want that when you look into my eyes, you find them blank.
I want the words that come out of my mouth are full of indifference.
I want that the smile of my face is not tinted by your presence.
But before it all happens,
I have to go through my own personal hell.
My eyes will be full of broken pieces of hope.
My mouth will convey nothing, suffering in silence.
My face will reveal my heartache.
And even if i achieve how to plaster a happy face.
It wouldn't heal my hurting soul,
Was it worth fighting for?
For once I went blindly with my heart and it backfired. I don't know my way back and there is no way ahead;the darkness is Sneaking in.
Anger, Sorrow, lost
Good, Evil, ghost
Agony and pain
Sunrise and rain.
Everything I feel,
Every time I write.
Tareefe khamiya ginane lgegi,
Zara sa risto ko azma k dekho,
Bhano ka silsila b shuru hoga,
Zarasa or pass jake toh dekho,
Yeh shuru shuru ka suroor h,
Chand taro k vade.
Khud apni juban b dusmni nibhane lgegi,
Zara pyar m khudko bhula kar toh dekho.
Zikr hoga oro ka or zalil hoge tum,
Uski parwah m apne jakhm chupa kr toh dekho,
Khud se upr use manoge jab.
Khud Rokar b use mnao tab
Apni hi halat p hasi aegi,
Zara shiddat se use chah kar toh dekho.