RileyPO# 616067
United States
|
Just writings.
|
To perhaps tell a short story.
Or express my feelings.
A short poem about love,
Or one about heartbreak.
To put thought on to paper,
With the ability to look back and reflect,
At how far I’ve come and where I have yet to go.
To captivate others and have them feel what I feel.
To peak their interests or bring up an old memory that they can connect with.
To forge a connection with readers.
And most importantly for me,
to be truthful with myself,
and the rest of the world.
The brain can be tricked and easily deceived.
The heart, however, cannot.
This year, I am grateful for the biggest learning experience of my life and the massive change it brings me, and the freedom to escape this small town.
Everyone is entitled to their own sorrow, for the heart has no metrics or forms of measure. And all of it... irreplaceable.
-Monty Oum, RWBY
Hidden no more,
It’s all out there to be seen.
Every glimpse of hope,
Every internal struggle,
Every doubt and fear.
I hide them no more
They do not control me.
I control them.
Letter by letter I continue to be removed, as though I never existed, never meant anything, as though I was and am nothing. Though that’s what happens to those who don’t mean anything, they are slowly removed and cut out bit by bit. It doesn’t hurt anymore, but rather it’s interesting to watch it happen. I guess for some it’s easier to hide it all away than to think of it at all.
-r.
I know not what to do
Or what to think
Or how to go about this
All these thoughts in my brain
I know what I feel
I know what I desire
All this love and at the same time, all this self regret and shame
She’s the only one who gets me
That I’m vulnerable with
That listens and truly listens
At least to me
I hold on to the hope
Deep down in my heart
And all the faith to there
For I still believe and wait...
I’ve been knocked down a few pegs, so that I have to relearn her for some of the ways she has changed, I know not how.
It doesn’t stop me though from caring still, but perhaps I am too hopeless. I understand why things are now and how they must be, no matter how much it kills me inside. None of it changes how I feel and the fact that I will wait, and just that I’ll do.
Hide away...
If I could for one day
Hideaway
I would hide away from my emotions
And silence their commotion.
Some days are easier than others
But more often than not lately
I have been angry instead of happy
While not knowing why.
The feelings of happiness and anger, joy and sorrow, acceptance and loneliness. Love.
In this battle with my emotions,
The winner takes it all
And the loser had to fall.
It’s simple and it’s plain.
So maybe if I hide away
I don’t have to fall.
And to think
That I had changed.
What’s the name of the game?
It’s not impossible.
Lights will guide me home
And I will try to fix me.
I know not how to express myself coherently anymore.
Love.
The thoughts run rampant in my head in fragments, each describing a part of me, but nothing describing me as a whole. Nothing I can put a concrete description to, just fragments.
Uncertainty.
It’s like trying to assemble a puzzle made of a thousand different pieces of the same color and trying to see what pieces go together.
Scared.
There are so many things I want to say, but I know not how to say them.
Lost.
Nor do I know if I can say them.
“[...] everything is different”
Day by day
Night by night
Nothing seems to change
Another day of work
Another day of classes
Repeating the same schedule
Week after week
Perhaps feeling as though
Stagnant like a rock
Unmoving and resting
But if you take a look
At the year as a whole
Take a look back
And be marveled by
How everything is different.
-Riley
Seasons, they will change
Life will make you grow
Death can make you hard, hard, hard
Everything is temporary
Everything will slide
Love will never die, die, die
When comes the peace after a hard time in your life?
When after, do you no longer cry thinking about the dog you had to put down that you grew up from childhood?
When after a breakup, do you no longer think about what you could have done better in a past relationship and no longer have dreams of it?
When after a loved ones death, do you accept their passing, even when daily things remind you of them?
When after changing your entire life outlook and plans because of one event in your life?
When after?
In life?
Just before death?
After life?
When?
A Heart and Mind Divided
9:13am, 17 minutes before my exam
While the sun shines,
I feel as happy and free as a bird.
Soaring through the air, no restrictions, no constraints.
Taking in the beauty around me and enjoying my current place in life.
But when the sun sets,
And the moon rises,
And I fall to the beckon of sleep,
I’m suddenly imprisoned by my mind,
Reliving moments of our past and the things that we did.
Living moments that never happened, moments that would have been in the future, but are not.
I still care and hope nothing bad happens to you.
I don’t love you anymore, at least not like I once did, but I know I could again if anything ever changed.
If anything, I’m currently upset...
Everything was perfect.
We were getting along great.
She had so much fun on the first date and wanted a second.
We spent so much time together after that, and made countless memories, the time just flying by. Endless days and sleepless nights were filled with laughter, happiness, joy and feelings of love.
There was a radiant energy between the two of us, something that I had not felt for a long time.
I never wanted it to end, I finally felt true happiness and love again, and I felt as though I was floating on cloud nine with all these feelings.
And then, just like that, I was awake for a split second before my alarm pierced the air around me. I sluggishly grabbed my phone and turned it off, t...
The scars you left run deeper than the skin on my back, and I have run out of forgiveness for you and the way you ended everything. Your actions spoke when you were quiet.
Dear stranger,
Hopefully it helps you to know that a random stranger wants to tell you, "It gets better." Though things may be rough right now, it eventually gets better.
That past relationship you had, you're better off without them. There will be someone better who comes along, who can communicate and actually handle their problems as well as understand your own and what you're feeling, one with whom things flow naturally with that leads to the creation of new and amazing memories. One who doesn't belittle you for the littlest things and who lets you know they love you in little things they do.
That old job you had, something better will come along. One with a better work environm...
“[...] everything is different”
Day by day
Night by night
Nothing seems to change
Another day of work
Another day of classes
Repeating the same schedule
Week after week
Perhaps feeling as though
Stagnant like a rock
Unmoving and resting
But if you take a look
At the year as a whole
Take a look back
And be marveled by
How everything is different.
Broken and battered and beaten
Feeling the world is against you
But they don’t know
The ace up your slave
The hope inside
Shines like a light
Burning bright
You’re gonna make it
The words come fast
You shrug them off each time
Because they aren’t the truth
About you
The fake ones come for awhile and go
The real ones stay
Through the thick and thin
Through the thick and thin
The hope inside
Shines like a light
Burning bright
You’re gonna make it
Dear you,
Thank you for letting me go.
For allowing me to discover who I am.
And learn things I did not know
That I have been able to grow
And decide what I want to do
And where I want to go
Thank you for letting me go.
From unknown expectations
And difficulties in communication.
And thank you, for pushing me away
So that I could move on
Finally.
Thank you,
Each day that goes by
Is another day closer
To leaving this town
And finally getting out.
Away from the places
The people, the memories
That are associated with these places.
Another day closer
To leaving the past
Where it belongs
And finally getting rid
Of the thoughts
That plague my mind
From day to day.
A day goes by
A week
And nothing seems to be changing
But looking far back
Everything is different
-r.
The lonely are the kindest, the sad smile brightest, the damaged have the most wisdom, for they do not wish what they have endured on another soul.
-r.
I thought our friendship was fine
I didn’t think any wrong of it at all
But I guess there was something I missed, because it wasn’t that way to you.
I’m not sure I agree with the choice, but you didn’t leave me any room to say, but I feel like you’re doing what is easier for you, but I don’t know you, haven’t known you, so I can’t say.
Some things just aren’t meant to be.
There’s greater things ahead for me.
So now we part ways and to you I say
“Take care.”
“We all change, when you think about it. We’re all different people all through our lives. And that’s OK, that’s good, you gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be.”
-The Doctor
