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MissyJ

PO# 323276
Philippines
Philippines
heart and mind
November 11, 2017
Toronto, Canada

Im Tired...

I’m Frustrated...

I’m Mad...

I’m Pressured...

I’m Lonely...

I’m Hurt...

I’m Misunderstood...

I’m useless...

I hurt people...

I’m not okay...

Cuts will bleed...

Cuts will hurt...

And will continue to hurt...

But I want it to end...

Does pain stop when breathing does too?

ORIGINAL
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October 26, 2017
Toronto, Canada

To where the beautiful view is...

To where the blues meet in the middle at day and even night...

To where the sunset looks amazingly breathtaking...

To where sunrise look surreal...

Is where my last breath will partake...

Is where my last smile show...

Is where my final goodbye will be said...

Is where I will meet the beautiful haven...

Is where I will be... myself again finally...

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STARS
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September 28, 2017
Toronto, Canada

Tell me... is it possible to take the happy in the birthday?

Cause this year i’ve been very sad. I feel no happiness at all...

I’ve been more distant... more secretive... more in pain...

So can we take the happy in the birthday?

As for the first time I’m not happy to celebrate it...

This year, without family, friends and people i care the most, are not around to compensate the birthday with happy...

Can i wish on my birthday

To be able to run somewhere and be alone for real...

To be lost in my thoughts and fragile for once...

To be take my heart away and secure it somewhere where it wouldn’t break?

To cry and mess up...

To be selfish and mend myself first before anyone?

To be jus...

ENDLESS STARS
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September 18, 2017
Toronto, Canada

When you asked me...

"What are you going through? You can tell it to me"

A million thought came to me...

How can I tell you that I blame myself for what you are experiencing no matter how many people tells me that its not my fault...

How can I tell you that I'm just holding myself straight so that you wont feel that my strength is already withering...

How can I tell you that I want to go home and be a coward again...

How can I tell you that many times I thought that I want to disappear to make other people's life easier...

How can I tell you that I feel lonely even with you around...

How can I tell you that I feel more useless and almost lifeless...

How can I? When you openly shares ...

DO NOT BE DECEIVED
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September 15, 2017
 

Fault...

A lot of times I ask myself was it my fault?

my existence it self gives misery to someone I care about, was it my fault that i exists?

and that someone special is suffering from that existence?

I ask myself, why does people have to make her feel that way? why does she have to suffer the things she shouldn't been experiencing?

was my existence too much that its my fault why this someone is suffering?

Am I too much?

I ask why can't i be the one to experience all of it rather than her?

It is my fault why she feels neglected, ignored, used and many more.

i want to make her feel valued but how can she see it when its my fault why she doesn't feel it...

I want...

BALLPOINT PEN DAY
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September 13, 2017
 

Stay strong!

A phrase i kept telling myself...

Don't give up!

A phrase that kept waking me up each morning and continuing life as it is...

Its for them...

A reminder that kept me grounded and strong...

You can do it!

A cheer i always tell myself...

But despite all of this, there's one thing I learned...

Tears don't lie...

It falls when you're tired...

When you feel weak...

When you thought you cant do it...

when you doubt yourself...

When you're scared...

When you want someone to hold you...

When you feel like you're alone...

When your thoughts feel nothing but a thing that your not supposed to share...

When you're tired to protect everyone from the things you experience so ...

DO NOT BE DECEIVED
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July 25, 2017
Toronto, Canada

We always argue, throw stuff towards each other, hurting each other both physically and emotionally.

We barely agree on things. Hating the other as we seem to do a great job in pestering the other.

We both have a totally different set of goals and interest; you with all the sport you indulge yourself with and me with the art and fascination i have in them.

We both love food most specially that seafood platter we always order or maybe the Sisig on the table. Probably even the burger we eat when we cant think of anything.

We both have the same interest in technology and music. And we both love to be adventurous when we get the chance to.

We love beautiful places and sceneries that is why w...

ANGEL OF FAITH
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July 16, 2017
Toronto, Canada

Eyes, eyes keep your eyes straight.

Watch, watch where your eyes is going...

A person's beauty is in the eyes and it's up here where my face is...

Not down where my legs are...

Not down where my butt is...

Not down where my chest is...

It's up here in my face...

Stop staring down there because you will not get anything from there

Look, look up here it's me. My mouth and eyes is here...

Would you find it so rude if I stare down on you too...

Because I do...

Now, now stop staring where you're not supposed to stare...

Because you are making one person uncomfortable with your stares...

Stop...

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TINY QUEEN
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June 9, 2017
Toronto, Canada

Loosing myself... loosing myself... I'm so scared to fall... I'm too scared of my tears... I'm too scared to fight...

All my life I've been fighting... fighting to get my parents attention... Fighting to prove people that I can... Fighting to have people acknowledge my efforts... Fighting for my dreams... Fighting for my Friends... Fighting for my family... and lastly Fighting myself to prove that I'm worth something...

And all these battles seems to be senseless and groundless... I kept failing and falling...

No one still notices that tears behind that smiles. That insecurities behind those projected confidence. That weakness behind those strength...

Nobody notices that sad soul that liv...

ANGEL OF PASSION
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May 10, 2017
 

Someone said I'm Boring...

I love books, writing, listening to music and just generally staying in. For others it may be boring and lifeless but for me it was everything. I'm sorry I'm boring in your eyes, but let me ask you? What does boring mean? cause for me boring means not being productive enough in a day and just hanging out.

I don't like being called boring because my life is full of fun and exciting adventures unfolding everyday. I write a new story and feel fulfilled with it. I read a book, where in it takes me to different worlds you could ever imagine. I listen to music, where in i'm filled with different emotions. And i stay in not because i have nothing to go but i choose t...

UNIQUE
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May 3, 2017
Toronto, Canada

You kept breaking me... I'm trying to reach out to you... but you have been disappointing me nonstop... i feel sad and it breaks my heart because i love you so much... if you keep doing this them I'm scared that Everything I believed will keep changing and falling apart...

Ms.

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MAY PHOTO MONTH
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April 19, 2017
 

Man...

I've seen you many times...

Blurred in my dreams, i wonder...

Who can you be?

Do i know you?

Will i ever know you?

You seem to be very familiar to my movements...

You know how i act and move around certain things...

Who are you?

Will you play a vital role in my life?

You are messing up my mind...

I'm scared of it...

You...

and...

The emotions you bring...

Ms. J.

HASHTAG
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April 5, 2017
 

Imagine

Imagine a life with only happiness and bliss...

A life that surrounds your heart with warmth...

A love that will keep making you smile every waking day of your life...

A family that only knows the language of giving, patience, forgiveness and love...

A dream that will keep moving your passion going...

A friend that will never ever betray you and accept you for who you are...

A place that is so serene that you can't help but want to fall in love all over again...

A heart that can speak and fight for what it believes...

A mind that can think but also feel...

A world where nobody needs to get hurt...

People who will respect and treat you fairly...

Just...

PEACEFUL
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March 10, 2017
 

Dear Life,

I'm a step closer to my dream, an i was thrilled when you gave me that chance. I do know i wont be easy, expected it actually. But aren't you too harsh? Too harsh that i don't know if i'm regretting it now.

My Mind is filled with so much, School's be tough, budgeting been hard, work is hard and being away from your family is harder. I think i hate the things that i used to love, my dreams that used to motivate me and give me a sweet smile is gone. my will to go through life went far ahead of me. You my dear life took away that glitch of light in my eyes. You took away my chance of happiness but rather made more emotionless and live to survive type of person. i hate you! i do....

ORIGINAL
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February 18, 2017
Toronto, Canada

Dark, silent, cold and alone defines not only the street i walk to every night but also the heart i have right now.

Its cold and always dark inside...

The silence consumes me and being alone feels like the most basic thing i feel now.

Im being consumed by everything right now and I don't know what to do...

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DO NOT BE DECEIVED
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February 16, 2017
Toronto, Canada

Hearts day is over. My heart was broken by the sole man i thought wouldn't. I believed and trusted him. I'm broken and clueless of what to feel and how to pick myself up.

I have to toughen up, but why do i feel weaker and more frail.

My tears wont even fall even if i only want to ease that heavy feeling i have kept since the day i found that out.

My status right now does not give me that right to be human. Am i less human and valuable now to this man?

Trusting would be harder. Falling in love will be harder...

I'm lost because of you...

I wish you didn't break me that hard... my dearest father...

Ms.

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LOVE IS...
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January 20, 2017
Toronto, Canada

You try to think about so many things and all you can do is to so much.

Its being tough walking throughout this rough road. And you can't get to talk this out. Because everyone else is probably experiencing the same tough road as you.

I want to keep going but how...

I'm starting to get scared.

Miss.

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TINY QUEEN
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January 12, 2017
 

In the midst of reaching once dream you lose hope. You miss home. The life you used to live in. But everything went blank. And you remembered why you are reaching your dream... its because of the people you left behind. You wanted to give them a great life.

Feeling more determined and breaking...

Ms.

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ORIGINAL
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December 4, 2016
 

I woke up feeling lost.

In your eyes...

I lose myself but you never noticed how smitten i became...

My smiles betrayed me...

I cant help but blush as you smile...

My heart flutters as your eyes met mine.

Slowly i fall...

Slowly im losing...

And you are just playing...

While i've fallen...

And your not...

I give up...

But you didint notice...

Missy.

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TINY QUEEN
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September 20, 2016
 

Smile,

Always remember to smile

Everyone loves to see your smile

You should smile more, its burden when you don’t

You look snob when you’re not smiling, that is why everyone is hesitant to approach you.

Smile no one likes someone who barely does.

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Yeah right, Smile even if you’re not happy.

Smile, Keep hiding your pain.

Smile, To be friendly and be approachable.

Smile because that’s what others ask you to.

Smile, even if it breaks you.

Keep smiling, Just to make them believe you are fine…

Smile...

BRAVERY
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September 20, 2016
 

A Random hello

We met by a simple Hello…

From strangers, we became acquainted and turned out as friends and changed everything

Slowly we became closer and as the days pass by we created more memories…

I started relying on something as if I’m sure that one will never leave…

The closer I get the more scared I became that I might lose you…

Meeting you and that Hello is the best thing that happened to my life…

Now that I feel alone, tears started to fall…

I don’t want to say I cannot wait anymore…

I am hoping that we stayed at that hello…

If only you said Goodbye, I won’t be here feeling lost…


ORIGINAL
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September 15, 2016
 

A Random Hello...

We met by a simple hello...

From STRANGERS we became friends and changed everything.

Slowly we became closer and as the days pass by we created more memories...

We started relying to each other as if we are sure that one will never leave...

The closer we get the more scared i became that i might loose you...

Meeting you and our hellos is the best thing that happened to my life...

Now standing infront of you, tears started to fall...

I don't want to say that word, i cannot...

I am hoping you won't say it too...

I am hoping that we stayed at that hello.

Then you said GOODBYE, it was nice meeting you...

And im broken...

CITYSCAPE
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September 15, 2016
 

Best Friend, A word that is powerful enough to make one person Smile, Cry, Mad and many more.

Together, We Dreamed, Planned our Futures. We filled our blank pages with memories.

Together, we laughed, smiled, and had fun of the simplest things that we notice.

Together, we fought battles and got through them with a smile.

Together, we stayed up late talking endlessly.

Together, we fought each other, made up and became stronger.

Together, we were envied by many, as our friendship is one of a kind.

I once treated her like my very own sister

She once was my safe haven, the one I ran to whenever I needed someone to talk to.

The You and I used to be US.

Together, We, & ...

NEW
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August 23, 2016
 

today i'll open my heart to you and let go of the hate and pain that I know will just hold us both back.

I love you and you will always have that part in my heart. you claimed it and i'll never ask you to give it back to me. I miss you and yes I still do, I miss our memories but I've decided to not wait for you and live my life like anybody else. I'm letting go and moving forward in order to heal my heart from that pain.

we both deserve to move forward be someone in our own ways.

Yesterday I was your friend and you are mine...

Today I am still your friend but I am letting go and letting myself grow...

today I say goodbye to that painful experience and make myself better...

...

ORIGINAL
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July 21, 2016
 

There is silence even in the room full of people...

There is breaking even in the smiles and laughter.

There is pain even in the sunshine...

Im breaking and tired but i am smiling and fighting without a doubt...

I am not allowed to get hurt, or get mad, or hate.

I want to be fighter i believe i am...

When time comes i want to show others that this girl had been fighting and will keep on fighting till they break her bones, heart, mind and soul.

I will not give up and will never let other win.

Fighting.

And fighting...

Ms.

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ORIGINAL
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July 5, 2016
 

In life,

You stumble...

You fall...

You break...

You stop believing...

You fail...

You get hurt...

But the best thing is that you will be able to fight back. No matter how tired you are. How broken. How bruised. Because you cannot just let life get in to you. Everyone has their battles to fight and no one deserves to be judged by that.

I am in for an endless battle of heart and mind. For the passion and dreams my heart belives in and for the logic and reason my mind practices.

You what battle do you fight?

Ms.

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HOPE BATEMAN
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June 8, 2016
 

I stayed while you walked away...

I called your name while you ignored me...

I smiled while you gave me a cold stare...

I reached while you break free...

I cried while you laughed...

I hurt while you cheered with joy...

I break while you proudly stood tall...

I am stuck while you have moved on...

That is how different the world we live in now...

Ms.

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CUP A JOE
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May 21, 2016
 

To you,

Walking down the streets i saw you. You are standing right there smiling happily. I slowly walk towards you and i saw that you are with someone. Stoping on my tracks i saw how happy you are without me beside you. Weakly i smile and wished you well and started walking away.

As i turn my back at you i smile and said to myself you have yet lost a friend my dear. Tears start to file up and like running people pushing their way out the collapsing room. I can't breathe well and my mind hurts so bad. I don't know which should i attend to first my heart who seem to stop at any time or my mind that is like a time bomb that will explode at any moment. I glanced at you again and there you are...

ORIGINAL
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May 20, 2016
 

To Mind,

How are you up there? have you been well? did I made you hurt? I'm sorry mind, you had to endure things for me.. I thank you for that. I know you are strong and have held on like a stone without any signs of pain. You protected my compassion and dreams for my sake. thank you for protecting me so well and doing things for me. but please remember that I'm here and I should be doing things as well. we should be partners in crime. I should have been your other half. I've been knocking all this time to let me help you. but you kept everything in yourself. your must've been hurt so much. I see you hurt yourself so much that youvhave to shut everyone down. Even me. I want to hug you and ...

DIKSHA GABA
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May 14, 2016
 

Been away for a while... Missed writing my thoughts that has been locked and crazy lately.

I fear my life right now, cause they had been crazy hell. I remember someone telling me you've been strong even you wanted to breakdown.

Days ago i feel more and more stressed and disappointment in my life. Im still trying to hold but day by day i feel more and more sensitive and fragile.

Smiles disappears and laughs slowly becomes more inaudible.

You fight battles everyday but times make you fall every now and then. You fought the hardest and fall the deepest.

Wounded you stand and try to crawl back up and just before the finishline you fall back again.

But you still keep on. Heads up fight!

Ms...

POKA DOT PORTRAIT
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