Dear Ex/To be Ex/My Jaan,
I have been trying to reach you through every possible platform but all efforts failed drastically. I ended up getting blocked by you. Still I did not stop texting you, hoping that one day, you will reply and talk to me.
Everything that I wanted to say to you, I have been trying to express. But I feel that words matter only where feelings plays a great role. You don't understand how everything you are doing makes me feel.
Now, I have come above all that happened and could have happened. I have expressed so many feelings to you via every mode of communication. But I am not being heard. I feel that I shouldn't tell you anymore about how much I Love you or How much ...
Zindagi mein humse kuch gustakhiyan hi aisi ho gayi ke ab toh unke liye maafi maangne mein bhi Sir jhukh sa jaata hai.
Bhagwaan se dua hai ke bas ek mauka de dein ke un apno se maafi maang paaon aur unhe hamesha ke liye firse paa loon.
THE BEGINNING OF MY LIFE YEAR LY 2019-2020
The Financial Year FY 2018-19 has ended while The Financial Year FY 2019-20 is all set to begin from today onwards.
However, from the past few days, to me, this concept of Financial Year has begun to appear as my Life Year; LY 2018-2019 and LY 2019-2020. I don't know the reasons behind that but it kind of felt right to me.
In my Life Year 2018-19, I would say that I saw a great downfall in me not only as a Brand but also as a Human Being. Negativities emerged in me and began to become even stronger by fading away my Strengths and Good Deeds.
All the actions that used to my loved ones happy, gradually began to fade away with pains and sorrows r...
In the last one year, My writing habits reduced drastically. Considering that I can notice it, I will get my writing passion back in track like it always was.
Another day passed when I was not able to talk to you but still you preferred to break the ice by saying you don't want to talk to me anymore.
I still don't know when would be the time when I will get a chance to talk to you but one thing I am sure that you will call me soon.
I understand your whole situation and what risks you have in talking to me but still I assure you that whatever doubts you have will be removed once you talk to me. Today I really wanted to talk to you. I tried from almost 6-8 numbers but they all were blocked and finally I got one number which I was aware that you would pick it and the moment you picked it, you did not speak anything. But the moment I uttered something, you simply cut the call. I felt very hurt not because you cut call on my face but for I was not able to talk to you.
I really apologize for the wrong things that I have done.
I am really sorry.
Hope to talk to you soon😊
At this moment, I really don't know what can make you to unblock and talk to me. In spite of making efforts for almost 24 hours, there is no output. I have begin to lose hope about almost everything in life but still only hope that prevails in my heart is that you will stay by side and together we can make everything right.
I just want you to know that I really miss you and love you so much to as far as infinity.
Hope to see you soon🙂
Ab aur saha nai jaata,
Apna haal lafzon se btaya nai jaata.
Jaanta hoon woh nikaal chukein hain hume apni zindagi se,
Par kambaqkht dil ko yeh samjhaya nai jaata.
In the era, when I was begging her to stay in my life,
She begged me to get out of her life...
After making efforts multiple times, just to stop you and not let you go, this time I have decided not to ask you again and again just to compel you from not leaving.
It's not because I don't care but to let know that I also respect myself if not much but at least a little. And therefore, I don't give you the right to treat me in whatever you would like to.
In spite of all what I said, I still have a hope to receive a response from you very soon.
I feel really blank when my partner disrespects me to a great extent because it really hurts.
I don't know how things will get better between us but by every day passing by, the relationship is only getting spoiled.
I wish I can save it.
It really feels awkward when all that love, trust and respect begins to fall apart and there is no more worth of you in their eyes that they can treat you in any way they feel like.
We lose the sense of control of how to get through all such behaviors of your loved ones.
I wish God grant us more courage to fight for each other instead of fighting with each other.
I am really broke to a great extent.
How can someone does not value the person who really love them with their whole heart beyond all boundaries....
Yaad toh hum bhi karte hain puraane din,
Jab aate the woh humse milne aur nai rehna chahte the kabhi humare bin.
I am deeply hurt by whatever is going through in my life. I wish I could get everything on the right track.
Unhe humse itni shikayatein thi ke humne bhi ek din keh hi diya ke agar itni hi problem hai humse toh apni life se nikal hi kyun nai dete.
Unhone turant se keh hi diya:
"I hate you. I don't want you in my life."
Day 1: Feb 4, 2019:
Kahan kuch alag hi morh le leti hai jab woh chhorh jaane ki baat kar deti hai,
Zindagi mein khushiyaan bhi ussi se aati hai,
Par yeh Kambaqt Ego beech mein aa jaati,
Yeh subhe tumare bina aakhri hi ho,
Kal se uski awaaz firse pehli hi ho.
In the beginning of my writing era, I was having less thoughts to express through my words. However, I began to realize gradually that I was having a lot of feelings carried in my pocket of heart which I would let out through my own combination of letters and alphabets.
Let's pause for a while and be thankful for what we have.
Let's keep a smile on our face and make the ones happy who see happiness in our joys.
Let's keep distance from people who don't see our worth.
Let's be thankful to those people who always been there for you.
Let's be with the ones we genuinely love with all our heart.
I wish I had more control on myself. I could not even keep my messenger uninstalled for twenty four hours. I wanted to see if you noticed my absence. If it made any difference to you but unfortunately, you did not even care to reply to my last message rather simply typed good morning.
I wish things get better between us in the coming days.
I wouldn't have uninstalled the messenger but it just felt right. It was far better than getting blocked by you and keep checking when you would unblock me.
It was far better than to get ignored by you when you cut call on my face or simply switch off net while talking just to avoid me.
I do not know what thr future holds for us or in fact for me.
But I definitely know how we have been in past and what is the potential of our bond.
If you do not even like to talk to me anymore what is the use of trying to push myself into your life when the result will only get worse.
This is the reason that I am taking the whole blame of not having conversation with each other. At least I could think som...
It's just 00:00 am. but I still remember January 25, 2018 when we were making plans for January 26th and a small puppy kept coming closer to me which was really a matter of jealousy for you. You wanted only you to be that close to me. But seeing your possessiveness really brought a all on my face. It really made me feel special in your eyes.
But on this night of January 24th when not even a year has passed, you said to me that I play a different role in your life. When asked, you mentioned it to be a "supporter" which clearly expresses your state of mind that nothing else.
It was clearly hard to digest from a person you would rather hear as to play an important role in your life.
Now it has become hard for me to handle all this.
To handle your mood swings
To handle your ignorance
To handle your negligence
To handle your casual behavior in everything
To handle one sided relationship.
I hereby set you free and will wait for the right opportunity when you will have enough sense to listen and understand what I really want you to understand.
Sometimes, it's not important how much I can get rather how much I can deliver.
I think I lost the track of good habits that I entered into a phase where everything has begin to seem so unknown that I need to work a lot on myself.
I cannot imagine how it has happened because it will only make me feel worse of myself. Hence, I am thinking to begin writing again with full enthusiasm so that I can clear out my thoughts and emotions to make them more positive.
Every morning you have a choice:
or live them... :-)
I am kind of surprised for today for whatever happened for whole day. We stayed connected in a lovely way for the day. Everything was going so well and there was no issue about anything. I felt like seeing you again and again. I was just concerned about how are you. I did not want to miss any of your moment of smile. I wanted to see you again and again so I kept video calling by pressing mute button 🔇 again and again so that you do not get noticed by your surroundings. Sometimes u picked it. Sometimes u disconnected it. Sometimes it got missed. But somehow I managed to see you all the time.
However, a moment came when I realized that you were disconnected the call video intimating...
Another awesome day, mostly because it was a day spent without fighting with each other. Life has begun to appear wonderful like it always was. I am so glad that all of a sudden everything has come into a right track and everything so lovely that I cannot express in my words. Yet I am so glad that whatever has happened in past is no more a part of our life anymore because we live in present and strive to make it best in every way.
I hope every day goes like this always. Even though you don't say it in words but after a long time you gave me a geature with your hands that you love me too. Well that was enough for me because even if you don't say it, I still love you always.
This was actually a better start of the month as we did not fight much and also had a respect for each other like we always used to. I am so happy that now I am able to see bit improvement in the whole process of making this bond stronger.
Many more amazing days to come. Hoping for the best.