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Sankar

PO# 589937
India
India
Nothing here, really...
October 19, 2019
 

So....that's it? That's how you want it to end? All this time, for nothing? Maybe  that would have been more apt, if you were asking this after two years, or at least that's what you'd have been repeatedly playing inside your mind on repeat for the past few weeks.

  I saw this coming. I actually did, seeing the pressure you're in, seeing how you were realizing things, a lot more recently. It's actually alright though, cause there's nothing to blame you for. After all, we are both old, and reaching certain ages where family expects this and that to happen. I know for a fact that, I've no magic tricks up my sleeve to make your wishes come true in an instant. I was willing to go to different l...

DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
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September 30, 2019
 

Wailing in silence,
Mourning for deeds,
Those that led to demise,
Of thy very self,
After each dip,
In the lake of fire,
Oblivious to the consequences,
By lack of awareness,
Or lack of interest

Leading to a spiral,
Of unending pain,
That slowly consumes,
Every ounce of your life,
Slower than a snail,
Till you start begging,
To be euthanized.

SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
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September 30, 2019
 

Have you been in love? Do you know what it feels like, when it hurts you from the inside, not because of someone, but cause of your own shortcomings. I would really like to apologise for that.

  I used to feel good about myself before, no matter what happened and how lonely I used to be, no matter how useless I felt, at least I used to feel that, I could be really good to people. But I guess I couldn't have been any more wrong.

I can't even sustain a relationship. I've probably felt too much emotions and that I'll be someone who never leaves anyone behind. No matter what ever happens. At least, I used to try to cling on to people as long as I could, till they cut me off by force.

Who am ...

SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
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September 16, 2019
 

Nobody has the time,
To stop and take a breath,
Nobody has the time,
To stop and observe,
All the things happening around

Patience is a virtue they say,
A lost one at that,
Those who seek a bit more,
Get lesser and lesser,
While those who don't need it,
Have it aplenty to waste

If only people would look around,
If only people would try to grasp,
How time is essential for everything,
How time makes and breaks dreams,
Maybe, just maybe,
The world would be a better place.

SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
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September 15, 2019
 

So many questions,
So many repetitions,
Yet you'll end up,
Back in square one,
With no concrete answer,
To all questions that pop up,
While you are busy trying,
To make sense of all things,
Natural and unnatural

Someone save me too,
From this endless tradition,
Laid with traps that creep,
Deeper than all you expect,
Sinking per day,
Into depths unexplored,
Gasping for breath,
Till it all ends.

SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
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September 15, 2019
 

In all honesty, I don't know where I or my feelings stand. But for a fact, it's skin deep, dipped in nothing but guilt. I'm no longer sure, what I seek or the damage I can cause.

I am truly sorry to everyone for the pain I bring along with me, dragging along as you try to stick around. Alas, I have lost vision of what's right or wrong. I'm blinded by a false sense of justice & doing what is right. After all, right & wrong are subjective and what's yours may not be mine.

Maybe I just give up too easily. Maybe I just ignore all the things I said I'll do. I'm no longer who I was or who I try hard pretending to be. I'm just a wretched soul, caught up in a world of mess, that I just keep justif...

SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
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September 10, 2019
 

I find it really hard to stay composed and focused to write something, on something. My mind is probably too fickle as it goes astray with overlapping thoughts that never really have a proper bond.
The other day I had a workshop, to help us all get better, or learn something new and useful in life. He was a really good speaker & hit a few nerves along the course of the day.. I don't remember most of it, but a few things were kinda cool. He sure took us on a roller coaster of emotions. Fear, joy and sadness, all of them, one after the other. I'll say one line, whether it makes sense to you or not, depends on what you make of it. What you need is not motivation, but inspiration.

  All change,...

NEVER FORGET
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August 11, 2019
Bengaluru, India

I shouldn't feel guilty, should I? But I do, it was only one thing at first and then it magnified exponentially. I shall note this down, cause I'll probably forget anyway. But cause someone got really hurt, and will never forget it, I guess it needs to remain somewhere, where I can keep looking back to, to feel guilty all over again.

  So the thing is. I was out anyway on a Saturday. I slept a lot or I did other stuff, like cutting nails and other stuff & had a pretty good, long bath. N I was probably supposed to meet a friend for lunch, but I got super late anyways & so that plan got cancelled. But I had to go to the city to pick up phone from my friend & so I went. It was cloudy all day, ...

WHITE CLOCK
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August 11, 2019
Bengaluru, India

Knowingly or unknowingly,
I hurt all who care,
In ways I can't comprehend,
Through words I blurt blatantly

Like a river,
It flows through your soul,
Pierecing like a blade,
Sharper than any you've felt

The intention so pure,
The effect so wrong,
Hurt in misdirection,
A soul weeps again

The fingers always point,
At my nonchalant face,
With or without reason,
I'll be held for treason.

LET IT GO. MOVE ON
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July 29, 2019
Bengaluru, India

I no longer understand myself,
I no longer feel worthy,
Begging for love,
That I barely ever deserved,
Clinging on like a leech,
That'll never let go,
With withering hopes,
Of a happily ever after,
With you by my side,
Happy as you once were,
Looking back to those summer nights,
Embracing you like my own,
With a never ending eternity,
Staring from across the horizon,
Where you and I will be,
Entwinted in love,
Through thick and thin.

DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
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July 29, 2019
Bengaluru, India

Fighting in thy name,
Fighting for your love,
Fighting for attention,
Fighting for anything

We are broken bodies,
Trying to find a cure,
We are broken souls,
That relive the past

Fighting for thy self,
Fighting for the joy,
Fighting for little things,
Fighting for everything

We are split by experience,
Joined by little sparks,
Fighting for something,
We barely could sense anymore.

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DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
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July 28, 2019
Bengaluru, India

The words you've said,
Without uttering to my face,
Reflected the feelings inside,
That you've suppressed for long,
A reason to cling on,
Dipped in fake words and feelings,
Not letting you go,
When you've decided to let go

Oh! how he could stop,
Every time I try to snip,
From a relationship so toxic,
Oh how he's available always,
When he feels it convenient,
But not when I need,
I've had enough of him,
Love just ain't enough.

LET IT GO. MOVE ON
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July 28, 2019
Bengaluru, India

Wonder when I wrote something last. Wonder when I felt so numb, not the kind I've been used to, in pain of love dipped in misery. Getting hurt is common in any kind of relationship. And I always have believed that, you can only truly me yourself & express yourselves to the ones you love & love you back. Friends may not get you, friends may not know all the various sides of you, the good, the bad and the ugly. You're different to all your friends, you simply can't be same to people, cause they aren't the same. People react differently to different types of things, in various ways. Nobody wants to hurt anyone with anything. You'll never intentionally hurt anyone, unless it's some vengeful act ...

ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS
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May 7, 2019
Nedumangad, India

When the sunshine falls down,
I could be your dark Knight,
Drifting through the shadows,
Hunting down the fireflies,
I could be the champion,
Fighting for your last hope.

FOLLOW YOUR HEART
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April 17, 2019
Nedumangad, India

The petals fall off,
With the fading fragrance,
Along the moments,
That never return,
Resetting the deadlock,
With freshest of starts,
As newness blooms,
Over ageing wine,
To enchnant the spirits,
Once broken for worst,
With spells that bind,
The cracks and pores,
To fit in perfect,
A tale untold.

MAKE IDEAS HAPPEN
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March 3, 2019
Nedumangad, India

It ain't uncommon to get lost in the wind, with the flow of thoughts leading to chaos and confusion. I've lived in constant fear, of being let down and of being dispensable. I've experienced it over and over, getting discarded like an empty bottle, that's served its purpose and now weighs down as extra baggage. It's okay to worry, but how can you misread the situation and assume stuff, when you don't know anything at all. I write when I'm full, with no outlet, where I can't say anything or do anything at all. It makes no sense, really. Whenever I used to write negative stuff, it's probably just letting it go, since nobody ever has the time for it and I'm not calling for anyone's attention, yo...

MAKE YOUR MARK
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January 10, 2019
Nedumangad, India

I will always wonder,
If I should have waited,
But after a year of waiting,
I had to let go,
It was getting really lonely and cold,
And I could feel myself,
Changing for the worst,
Losing faith in love itself,
Unwilling to commit to anyone,
Inspite of mutual feelings,
Cause it never felt right,
Or my intuition was scared,
That I'll be left behind,
Once again,
And so it turned out,
Shattered and broken,
Yet not out of the unexpected,
I was again left for dead,
Only to be found by someone,
Who'd make the darkness go away

ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS
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December 31, 2018
Nedumangad, India

  It all started with a small plan. To see someone, to go abroad, to buy hot wheels & most of all, to be free.

  I'd remember last year, it was dry, but I got at least a wish on my birthday. This year, I didn't really get even that, but it was far better. I really did plan it that way, that I wouldn't be at home on my birthday. Not like there was gonna be anything special happening if I was there, n not like anything would happen if I wasn't there. Yet I just wanted to be away, and it turned out to be one where pretty much nobody wished, lol maybe because my phone couldn't be reached via network, but still, whatever.

  All things that led to this, was probably worth it. So 2018, even thoug...

2019
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December 25, 2018
Nedumangad, India

In silent nights and darkest nights,
I've been suffering far too long,
For well over a year,
The last best day being,
Nothing more than a faint spark

Here I am now,
Rebuilding and rewriting memories,
With fresh hope and expectations,
With a sense of love,
That may finally outlast me,
Against the ever present tides,
Constantly knocking me down

CHRISTMAS FLOWERS
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December 17, 2018
Nedumangad, India

The sparks were fading,
The lights were dimmer,
The hopes extinguished,
No more light at the end,
No more walking towards hope

And then you came along,
Reigniting that hopeless blaze,
Adding colors to the faded frames,
Instilling renewed faith,
To carry me along this abandoned path,
One last time.

CHRISTMAS FLOWERS
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December 8, 2018
 

Dearest Sankar,

Happiest birthday to one of the most sensitive yet understanding letters buddy I've ever talked to.

No matter how sad you are ,you always make me feel better.

Thank you for being in my life till this day.

God bless you with strength and positivity for the upcoming year and stay blessed 😁

Love loads,

Sweedle

BE BRAVE
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December 12, 2018
Nedumangad, India

Whatever happens, happens for the best, right? Though I've never really felt that way, I've always tried to believe in those words & see some hope or positivity out of all the shit that's been happening. Every path you take or decision you make, no matter what the outcome, you gain something. The last 10 days have probably been the best days ever, though it had its hiccups and tiring factor, if I look back at it, it'll be one of the best times ever that I've had. I've pretty much had a solo trip for the first time ever to somewhere outside India, though it made me broke, I guess it was totally worth it. I don't find any point in saving up for a future that may never exist, so might as well d...

MERRY CHRISTMAS
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December 3, 2018
Nedumangad, India

There can't always be words that tell the story, sometimes it's lost in the actions & in the actions along the path to insanity. I'm one, who's always lost for words. The feelings keep repeating, again and again, not everyday maybe, but they still do repeat. And yet again I pick up the phone and start swiping or typing or even a mix of both. But no words seem to do justice to the thoughts, or it's intensity in me. It seems like a sharp blade with a blunt tip. The intended damage may not be done, with the limited resources and even smaller set of words.

    Is there any glint of hope, or even a false pretense to offer some false hope. Right now, probably not. The lights are out, and even the...

BE BRAVE
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December 3, 2018
Nedumangad, India

I'd say expectations hurt,
And I don't expect anymore,
That's just another lie,
I tell myself to feel better,
A lie that can't hold,
When the going gets tough,
And the pieces come crashing down

But is really wrong,
To still wait in expectations,
That a miracle might still happen,
Turning this mess around,
Refilling this emptiness,
With newborn hopes.

BE BRAVE
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November 20, 2018
Nedumangad, India

I saw the lines on my head, worded perfectly by an author & reading that made me happy and sad at the same time. I've been feeling the same, though I've lost that feeling from within, the thoughts still lingered within my head.

   The kind of love, where you don't even like someone at first and as you keep talking, you'd fall in love with them, with everything they say and everything they do. That's what happened two years ago, that was my perfection. The so called perfect fit, the better half. In her absence the soul lingers, and keeps searching for answers. The void is too big now, that the soul tries to find stopgap fixes to these painful wounds, that usually never work out. What's tempor...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2018
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November 20, 2018
Nedumangad, India

Lost for words,
Devoid of feelings,
Filled with guilt,
Falling to depression,
Failing to understand,
Searching for light,
Fading to darkness,
The soul cries,
One last time.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2018
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November 19, 2018
Nedumangad, India

    Sometimes all you need isn't poetry, it's not those catchy rhymes that catch you off guard, it's not those heavy complex words that beg you to refer Google for meaning. Sometimes, all you need is just pure raw feels.

    This, here, is based on the last letter, more or less. On a more elaborate scale, nevertheless, but with much more of the impure raw substance, that may not please the eyes. But sometimes, that's all you need, or as one that writes down shit, to feel better - that's all I need.

    I can split my life into various pieces or categories, which can be classified under various titles. But the most important of them all might be, real & virtual. This again can be dependent o...

DON'T WAIT
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November 17, 2018
Nedumangad, India

A lot can happen overnight,
A lot can change,
In the blink of an eye,
The battle is lost,
Between life and death,
So the drastic change,
With a year involved,
Should be no shock

You lose all that's yours,
The people change,
The love fades,
The feelings burn,
Down to Ash,
Leaving behind,
Nothing but memories,
What once was,
Perfect.

STAN LEE
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November 14, 2018
Nedumangad, India

Things keep going off track,
Off bounds and limits,
After being on the edge,
For time unbound,
Maybe it's time finally,
To put it to rest,
All the suffering,
With an epic conclusion.

STAN LEE
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November 3, 2018
 

                    For better or worse,
                      We need to lose,
                To gain something better.

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COZY FALL
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