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Sankar

PO# 589937
India
India
Nothing here, really...
August 11, 2019
Bengaluru, India

I shouldn't feel guilty, should I? But I do, it was only one thing at first and then it magnified exponentially. I shall note this down, cause I'll probably forget anyway. But cause someone got really hurt, and will never forget it, I guess it needs to remain somewhere, where I can keep looking back to, to feel guilty all over again.

  So the thing is. I was out anyway on a Saturday. I slept a lot or I did other stuff, like cutting nails and other stuff & had a pretty good, long bath. N I was probably supposed to meet a friend for lunch, but I got super late anyways & so that plan got cancelled. But I had to go to the city to pick up phone from my friend & so I went. It was cloudy all day, ...

WHITE CLOCK
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August 11, 2019
Bengaluru, India

Knowingly or unknowingly,
I hurt all who care,
In ways I can't comprehend,
Through words I blurt blatantly

Like a river,
It flows through your soul,
Pierecing like a blade,
Sharper than any you've felt

The intention so pure,
The effect so wrong,
Hurt in misdirection,
A soul weeps again

The fingers always point,
At my nonchalant face,
With or without reason,
I'll be held for treason.

LET IT GO. MOVE ON
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July 29, 2019
Bengaluru, India

I no longer understand myself,
I no longer feel worthy,
Begging for love,
That I barely ever deserved,
Clinging on like a leech,
That'll never let go,
With withering hopes,
Of a happily ever after,
With you by my side,
Happy as you once were,
Looking back to those summer nights,
Embracing you like my own,
With a never ending eternity,
Staring from across the horizon,
Where you and I will be,
Entwinted in love,
Through thick and thin.

DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
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PO#589937
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July 29, 2019
Bengaluru, India

Fighting in thy name,
Fighting for your love,
Fighting for attention,
Fighting for anything

We are broken bodies,
Trying to find a cure,
We are broken souls,
That relive the past

Fighting for thy self,
Fighting for the joy,
Fighting for little things,
Fighting for everything

We are split by experience,
Joined by little sparks,
Fighting for something,
We barely could sense anymore.

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DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
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July 28, 2019
Bengaluru, India

The words you've said,
Without uttering to my face,
Reflected the feelings inside,
That you've suppressed for long,
A reason to cling on,
Dipped in fake words and feelings,
Not letting you go,
When you've decided to let go

Oh! how he could stop,
Every time I try to snip,
From a relationship so toxic,
Oh how he's available always,
When he feels it convenient,
But not when I need,
I've had enough of him,
Love just ain't enough.

LET IT GO. MOVE ON
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PO#589937
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July 28, 2019
Bengaluru, India

Wonder when I wrote something last. Wonder when I felt so numb, not the kind I've been used to, in pain of love dipped in misery. Getting hurt is common in any kind of relationship. And I always have believed that, you can only truly me yourself & express yourselves to the ones you love & love you back. Friends may not get you, friends may not know all the various sides of you, the good, the bad and the ugly. You're different to all your friends, you simply can't be same to people, cause they aren't the same. People react differently to different types of things, in various ways. Nobody wants to hurt anyone with anything. You'll never intentionally hurt anyone, unless it's some vengeful act ...

ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS
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May 7, 2019
Nedumangad, India

When the sunshine falls down,
I could be your dark Knight,
Drifting through the shadows,
Hunting down the fireflies,
I could be the champion,
Fighting for your last hope.

FOLLOW YOUR HEART
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April 17, 2019
Nedumangad, India

The petals fall off,
With the fading fragrance,
Along the moments,
That never return,
Resetting the deadlock,
With freshest of starts,
As newness blooms,
Over ageing wine,
To enchnant the spirits,
Once broken for worst,
With spells that bind,
The cracks and pores,
To fit in perfect,
A tale untold.

MAKE IDEAS HAPPEN
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March 3, 2019
Nedumangad, India

It ain't uncommon to get lost in the wind, with the flow of thoughts leading to chaos and confusion. I've lived in constant fear, of being let down and of being dispensable. I've experienced it over and over, getting discarded like an empty bottle, that's served its purpose and now weighs down as extra baggage. It's okay to worry, but how can you misread the situation and assume stuff, when you don't know anything at all. I write when I'm full, with no outlet, where I can't say anything or do anything at all. It makes no sense, really. Whenever I used to write negative stuff, it's probably just letting it go, since nobody ever has the time for it and I'm not calling for anyone's attention, yo...

MAKE YOUR MARK
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January 10, 2019
Nedumangad, India

I will always wonder,
If I should have waited,
But after a year of waiting,
I had to let go,
It was getting really lonely and cold,
And I could feel myself,
Changing for the worst,
Losing faith in love itself,
Unwilling to commit to anyone,
Inspite of mutual feelings,
Cause it never felt right,
Or my intuition was scared,
That I'll be left behind,
Once again,
And so it turned out,
Shattered and broken,
Yet not out of the unexpected,
I was again left for dead,
Only to be found by someone,
Who'd make the darkness go away

ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS
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December 31, 2018
Nedumangad, India

  It all started with a small plan. To see someone, to go abroad, to buy hot wheels & most of all, to be free.

  I'd remember last year, it was dry, but I got at least a wish on my birthday. This year, I didn't really get even that, but it was far better. I really did plan it that way, that I wouldn't be at home on my birthday. Not like there was gonna be anything special happening if I was there, n not like anything would happen if I wasn't there. Yet I just wanted to be away, and it turned out to be one where pretty much nobody wished, lol maybe because my phone couldn't be reached via network, but still, whatever.

  All things that led to this, was probably worth it. So 2018, even thoug...

2019
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December 25, 2018
Nedumangad, India

In silent nights and darkest nights,
I've been suffering far too long,
For well over a year,
The last best day being,
Nothing more than a faint spark

Here I am now,
Rebuilding and rewriting memories,
With fresh hope and expectations,
With a sense of love,
That may finally outlast me,
Against the ever present tides,
Constantly knocking me down

CHRISTMAS FLOWERS
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December 17, 2018
Nedumangad, India

The sparks were fading,
The lights were dimmer,
The hopes extinguished,
No more light at the end,
No more walking towards hope

And then you came along,
Reigniting that hopeless blaze,
Adding colors to the faded frames,
Instilling renewed faith,
To carry me along this abandoned path,
One last time.

CHRISTMAS FLOWERS
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December 8, 2018
 

Dearest Sankar,

Happiest birthday to one of the most sensitive yet understanding letters buddy I've ever talked to.

No matter how sad you are ,you always make me feel better.

Thank you for being in my life till this day.

God bless you with strength and positivity for the upcoming year and stay blessed 😁

Love loads,

Sweedle

BE BRAVE
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December 12, 2018
Nedumangad, India

Whatever happens, happens for the best, right? Though I've never really felt that way, I've always tried to believe in those words & see some hope or positivity out of all the shit that's been happening. Every path you take or decision you make, no matter what the outcome, you gain something. The last 10 days have probably been the best days ever, though it had its hiccups and tiring factor, if I look back at it, it'll be one of the best times ever that I've had. I've pretty much had a solo trip for the first time ever to somewhere outside India, though it made me broke, I guess it was totally worth it. I don't find any point in saving up for a future that may never exist, so might as well d...

MERRY CHRISTMAS
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December 3, 2018
Nedumangad, India

There can't always be words that tell the story, sometimes it's lost in the actions & in the actions along the path to insanity. I'm one, who's always lost for words. The feelings keep repeating, again and again, not everyday maybe, but they still do repeat. And yet again I pick up the phone and start swiping or typing or even a mix of both. But no words seem to do justice to the thoughts, or it's intensity in me. It seems like a sharp blade with a blunt tip. The intended damage may not be done, with the limited resources and even smaller set of words.

    Is there any glint of hope, or even a false pretense to offer some false hope. Right now, probably not. The lights are out, and even the...

BE BRAVE
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December 3, 2018
Nedumangad, India

I'd say expectations hurt,
And I don't expect anymore,
That's just another lie,
I tell myself to feel better,
A lie that can't hold,
When the going gets tough,
And the pieces come crashing down

But is really wrong,
To still wait in expectations,
That a miracle might still happen,
Turning this mess around,
Refilling this emptiness,
With newborn hopes.

BE BRAVE
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November 20, 2018
Nedumangad, India

I saw the lines on my head, worded perfectly by an author & reading that made me happy and sad at the same time. I've been feeling the same, though I've lost that feeling from within, the thoughts still lingered within my head.

   The kind of love, where you don't even like someone at first and as you keep talking, you'd fall in love with them, with everything they say and everything they do. That's what happened two years ago, that was my perfection. The so called perfect fit, the better half. In her absence the soul lingers, and keeps searching for answers. The void is too big now, that the soul tries to find stopgap fixes to these painful wounds, that usually never work out. What's tempor...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2018
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November 20, 2018
Nedumangad, India

Lost for words,
Devoid of feelings,
Filled with guilt,
Falling to depression,
Failing to understand,
Searching for light,
Fading to darkness,
The soul cries,
One last time.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2018
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November 19, 2018
Nedumangad, India

    Sometimes all you need isn't poetry, it's not those catchy rhymes that catch you off guard, it's not those heavy complex words that beg you to refer Google for meaning. Sometimes, all you need is just pure raw feels.

    This, here, is based on the last letter, more or less. On a more elaborate scale, nevertheless, but with much more of the impure raw substance, that may not please the eyes. But sometimes, that's all you need, or as one that writes down shit, to feel better - that's all I need.

    I can split my life into various pieces or categories, which can be classified under various titles. But the most important of them all might be, real & virtual. This again can be dependent o...

DON'T WAIT
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November 17, 2018
Nedumangad, India

A lot can happen overnight,
A lot can change,
In the blink of an eye,
The battle is lost,
Between life and death,
So the drastic change,
With a year involved,
Should be no shock

You lose all that's yours,
The people change,
The love fades,
The feelings burn,
Down to Ash,
Leaving behind,
Nothing but memories,
What once was,
Perfect.

STAN LEE
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November 14, 2018
Nedumangad, India

Things keep going off track,
Off bounds and limits,
After being on the edge,
For time unbound,
Maybe it's time finally,
To put it to rest,
All the suffering,
With an epic conclusion.

STAN LEE
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November 3, 2018
 

                    For better or worse,
                      We need to lose,
                To gain something better.

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COZY FALL
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November 3, 2018
 

I can't tell you why,
I'd cry again,
When you fall over,
Wishing days like these,
Come and end like this,
Making no sense at all,
Carving memories then,
Gripping like you're afraid,
To confess your sins,
Every passing day.

COZY FALL
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October 27, 2018
 

      Sometimes you just need to write. Write & write and keep on writing, till the ink no longer spreads. The words no longer come out. The weight too heavy a burden to be held together on a piece of paper.

LET GIRLS LEARN
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October 26, 2018
 

Hello kutty,

   I don't think you'll see this letter, or any letters I send anymore :) but I'm still gonna send you one anyway :)

It's your birthday 🎂, my dear Princess 👸 n I hope you're well out there, wherever you're right now. Since you've decided to cut me off like that, for no reason, or I dunno what I should really feel about this right now.

I wonder every single day, why you'd do this. What really happened? Is something wrong? Are you okay there? Why did this happen? How did we get cut off like this? Maybe you found someone else. Maybe your parents found someone for you. Maybe you're engaged. Maybe you're already married. N then there was the flood. I hope you're safe, i hope your ...

WHITE CLOCK
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October 26, 2018
 

              It's the wee hours of night
        When everyone's busy or sleeping
                    That you realise
                  You're truly alone

WHITE CLOCK
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October 19, 2018
 

                                             In the darkest of days
                                            And brightest of nights
                                           There shall be only one
                                              That stands above all

WHITE CLOCK
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October 18, 2018
 

              It has always been hard. To accept this reality. Where I'd be once again, left all alone. I'd try to be happy, doing things that don't really matter, but still trying to find little joys in insignificant things. Diverting mind was never my forte, but I'd still try. To numb out the pain. The pain that'll never go away.

    How long has it been? One month to two? But about half of that's been on my own. So now who am I? In this happily ever after, that never turned beyond first page.

  Is this how life always turns out. Is it how good, my life was supposed to be. Is that the best it'll ever be.

  Guess this is how life shall be....... Always and forever.....

WHITE CLOCK
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October 14, 2018
 

        There isn't much left here,
       But ruins of broken dreams,
    That once shined through darkness,
              In this place,
           I once called home.

WHITE CLOCK
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