I waved goodbyes. I wish I was able to count the number of goodbyes on my fingers. Each week, month and an year I waved goodbyes, each goodbye was harder than the previous one. Few reasons were obvious, few had no sense at all, few lacked the understanding,few were never around and it felt the last conversation had the essence of goodbye. Few goodbyes didn’t matter at all, few gave the slightest pain (just like a paper cut?),few broke my heart but soon managed to heal, few were heartbreaking and drenched me in the lake of sadness and then I lost myself way back to the world. I tasted goodbyes. Each goodbye has a different taste. Some tastes sweet and not so good for health, some are tasteless...
I have 5 members in my family including me. I live in a 7BHK house. Yet, I didn’t choose to have a bedroom for myself. I don’t want privacy. Because I know if I sleep alone at night I’ll end up sitting at the corner of my room with tears in my eyes and hoping to get you back in my arms. So to avoid that emotions I sleep near to my mom. Today evening it felt different, I was lying down on the sofa watching some nonsense tv serial with my mom and sister. Out of nowhere, I think of him. My heartbeat increases, tears were up to the brim of the water line, my body begins to shiver and lightly feels numb. I try to ignore and tries to take a nap. I close my eyes I see all the beautiful memories. Som...
Are there just some things that you keep to yourself and can’t tell no one not even to yourself?
I sat in my room, sick and bored
My room was pin drop silence.
I love isolation to hear the sound of my heartbeat closely.
So I placed myself near the window
I look at the sky and just love looking at the sky.
I think about love, that is bigger than us and is the reason of our existence.
I wonder where are the chivalrous, kind, honourable,obedient, love, glory, protective, chaste men..
I might sound fogey old fashioned but chivalry, it is the delicate and decent form of contempt.
I like old souls, one who opens door for you, who offers you the seat, pull out a chair for you, holding your arm to cross the street, who writes letters instead of texting, who opens car door f...
Tracing my own scars
Lips that promised me to stay forever waved me a goodbye. Depression knocked my chest made me feel broken and alone again. I was vanished inside my own silence. I turned around didn't find anyone, didn't feel anything but darkness around me. People around me uttered the words which they knew would hurt me. I always wanted a softer light, a softer night, a different care and I even know that I can never get that. I was always looking for a light to wrap and love for my fractured heart. Each and every day I was hoping that I didn't miss taking pain in every breath and I hope I didn't miss to put all the broken pieces of my heart together, every night. I always knew looking...
I do not hear your voice at the other end of the phone anymore and your smile does not light my world anymore.I loved you with everything I had and surely I cannot have it all back. You don't knock on my door anymore. But you'll meet me in the middle of the city in every strangers face. You'll always have that piece of my soul I gave to you. I am sure of one thing- you will forever have my love.
It’s the worst feeling where silence is stuck in your eyes and tears don’t rain down.
We sit next to each other but a little bit closer.
He had nothing to say so I tell him how escobar burned 2 million dollars for her daughter to keep her warm and eventually the conversation turned into an erudite discussion.
He brings his face near to mine I turn my neck to the opposite side.
I see his hand coming on my tight he moved his hand and touched my vagina, and moving his fingers like a giant wheel ride. I was appalled and I look at him with fear in my eyes, I was lost at words so I move my head side to side, screaming a ‘NO’ in my mind. I stood up there to leave. He touched my shoulder and push me harshly on the bed. He locked my legs. Touched my body with his invading hands. Op...
I love you
I can’t promise to always love you.
I won’t promise you something that I can’t promise myself.
A request to you
Not to ask me
If I’ll love you forever
because that last time
I answered this question
I ended up breaking his heart.
Ps: how do I love someone more than I love myself?
Sometimes mean, selfish,sweetheart,ruthless,lovable,rude, kind, sincere,bitch,dumb, selfless. It’s too complicated to get me, I know. I will be laughing inside and can be a mean ass. I will be smiling and yet my smiles asks for help and heal. I will lie and inside tell the truth to myself. I will ask about your pain and can feel twice your pain. I will tell you I hate you but could go at the end for you. I will tell you to stay away but will make sure to check on you. I will laugh, smile and shine like I have never been this happier before. I will sit in peace staring at the wall and feel numb till the time my tears don’t stop. I could fall asleep in the heart of a child or could risk my life...
Let’s not expect him to always open doors for you or pull out your chair or to always pay the bills.
Let’s not expect him to give you respect if you aren’t respecting him back.
Let’s not expect him to go out of his way to make you feel happy when you aren’t meeting him halfway.
Let’s not expect men to lead the entire family while going through the storms of his life.
Ps: let us still believe that they are chivalrous men out there.
Let’s not call him a faggot if he’s still a virgin.
Let’s not squeeze him to have a six feet height, six pack abs, a six digit salary or a six inches penis.
Let’s not bully him for being into feminism or being to skinny or corpulent. ...
I’ve stopped reading about love quotes. They keep talking about people who are going to leave you, the love which isn’t gonna be the one I was looking for. I have tasted love, all the wrong ones and I’m not gonna look out for the one that makes me feel right. This has been pretty much clear I’m not going back to feel those storms inside me, shut my mouth for caring about their feelings, wasting my time in benefiting others, to feel my heart break so bad that it forms a storm inside me where I couldn’t feel what 3 am friday feel like. I’m gonna avoid writing about how they broke my heart each time, avoid writing about boys I’ve loved, feelings I once felt, how loving and to be loved back harde...
One morning, I was in a hurry to go to the college. My neighbor uncle said bye beta with a wide beautiful smile on his face. I ignored, pretended as if I didn’t hear. I was at the bus stop, saw my bus arrive and sat taking a relief relaxing breathe. Thinking about the assignments, suddenly his smiling face popped in my mind. Thinking., I wish I would have smiled back and maybe it could make a difference to his morning?
I was standing on the road waiting for my sister to pick me up. An old poor beggar approached to me and spread his palms. I didn’t have change and I wasn’t willing to pay him two hundred. So I walked few steps away from him.
I sometimes, pass by that road and it always remin...
When you are gone
my smile is absent too
it’s so hard to be happy
when I haven’t got you
Every time someone waves you goodbye, there is a fragile hello patiently waiting
The last couple months I’ve been the realist. Had my heartbroken, got my shit together,lost the person whom I loved the most and thought would be in my life for a long time,tasted how betray feels like,went from being friends to strangers.
When the ache came I feed it with broken flowers and full of scars. I got so lost in my sadness that I forgot the way back to the world. But sadness will not make most of my dreams alive and will not bring back those who departed. So I say goodbye to those who have left and thank who have stayed and even left without breaking my heart and welcome those as if they have never left.
Now I have learned to spend more time with today and less time with yesterda...
Sometimes you meet people who change your life for better
Those people are called bartenders