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May 22, 2018
 

It doesn't matter how much I love myself
Every fuckin time I see you
It feels like I'm the most horrible person
I tried to forgive myself
It took me twenty-three sleepless nights
Continuously hitting my fingers on this fuckin keyboard
Letting out the tears I was holding back the whole day
And all that processing seems nothing now...

I'll keep trying to forgive myself
But I'm not sure
If It's my own forgiveness I need

I will always hate myself for hurting you
And just so you know
It was "not easy"
Not even then
And not even now.
-Sanya

LOVE IS ALL WE NEED
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May 20, 2018
 

                  Drove to the countryside
           Place, when we needed to hide
                Stillness slid the windows
                          And came inside
                  We removed our masks
          And on the beats of Luke Bryan,
                                 we cried
                  Broke many speed laws
                         Casual warnings
         And never left each other's side

                  Was a felicitous journey,
                     And for the first time
        My gloominess didn't concern me
                                  -Sanya

LOVE IS ALL WE NEED
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May 15, 2018
 

Wonder, what future has in store for me
Should I be worried or just carefree
Wonder, what life after 5 years gonna be
Will I be in a white or in a black sea

Wonder, when will you find me again
In thunder, lightning or in rain
Wonder, will we ever rise from the pain
And continue this paused journey
Once again
-Sanya

LOVE IS ALL WE NEED
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May 11, 2018
 

          Your eyes tend to refute
       Your false affirmative voice
                Makes it absolute

               I wanna believe you
                       I really do
   But you said it all without saying
                  And I guarantee
        That I'll make it through
                          -Sanya

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WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
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May 6, 2018
 

          Feels like it's in my soul
      Permeating, with no control
          Have it, but I want more
           Like staring at the wall
               to become a door

Cannot wash it off from my mind
                It's growing fast,
     Leaving my own self behind

           It's your damn aroma
               Your old persona
      Exploding all over my body
             Just like a supernova
                       -Sanya

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
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May 2, 2018
 

       I have darkness of my own
             I push people away
                Block them out
           Act like i don't care

        Sometimes, i don't have
            The energy to talk
    Sometimes, it all seems fake
  Sometimes, 'happy' feels weird
   And sometimes, being around
      others feel like a burden.

                     -Sanya

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
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April 29, 2018
 

I remember how I'd done pretty much everything
To elicit those words from your mouth
When they were heading towards south

I remember how your tears shed down
And we both got lost in our own town
Where lovers like us used to drown

I remember how I'd felt after that
Like having a home
In the homeless streets of Rome

I remember how afraid we were
But you still took another chance
For that summer romance
-Sanya

HARVEY SCHILLER
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April 25, 2018
 

  You pushed me hard against the wall
   Embracing the integrity of nightfall
Not concerned with how this might fall

       When you touched me, i began
Burning my heart and soul from within
They say "Peel the skin and throw it in"
               But they don't know
         I still have your fingerprints
                     Under my skin
                         -Sanya

FACE YOUR FEARS
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April 22, 2018
 

     Hopes are not dreams
     Romance is not fiction
    Honesty is not brutality
   
    Never relegate yourself
    For the sake of society
          -Sanya

EVALUATE YOUR LIFE DAY
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April 17, 2018
 

                   Even after years,
                    My faith in you
                 Is like a holy river
             So pure and dedicated
                         -Sanya

LOVE, HER
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April 8, 2018
 

      Thoughts of you coming back
                 Are tormenting me
            They don't let me sleep
         All I can imagine is what if
      What if you come back again         
       With another sweet apology
          With another came back
                    sweetheart song

       I do recall our last goodbyes
                 And it's aftereffects
  That's why I have to be more wary
      And before you find me again
         I need to find myself again
                       One last time.
                             -Sanya

NOBODY IS PERFECT
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April 3, 2018
 

           #StayAliveChallengeAccepted
            This is for suicide prevention

                              You're loved
                         You're incredible
                            You're blessed
                         You're doing good
                           You're not alone
            Just hold on, it's just a phase
                                It will pass
                 You'll find your purpose
                Don't forget "you are the
             Reason of someone's smile"

                                 It's okay!
             Everything's gonna be okay!
     Think of all the beauty and be happy.
                                  -Sanya

ENDLESS STARS
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April 2, 2018
 

                Can we just
                 go back to
              where we were
         before all this mess?
                  -Sanya

DAY OF TRUTH
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March 31, 2018
 

            I wanna accuse you
                 Of fomenting
                   My feelings,
                  My thoughts,
                    Each time
        I decided to let you go
                     -Sanya

DAY OF TRUTH
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March 29, 2018
 

                  I am exhausted
        Emotionally and physically
         And done with everything
        I don't wanna run anymore
       I don't wanna hide anymore

        I wanna come home to you
              And make this love,
                This connection,
              Our refuge tonight.
                       -Sanya

DAY OF TRUTH
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March 28, 2018
 

            I cannot forgive myself
          I am feeling guilty as hell
                    It's killing me
          Because i know that pain
                Familiar with that
            But now being the one
                 Who causes that
               And living with that
           Is not easy for me either.
                        

I am starting to feel like a wicked person but you deserve someone who isn't drowning in their own demons like me.
-Sanya

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DAY OF TRUTH
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March 24, 2018
 

              Days, i spent with you
              Are haunting me now
             Nights, when i held you
            Are fighting with me now

                They're coming back
                They're watching me
                  They're telling me
                      To let you go
                    To set you free
      And leave these garish memories
                    Of you and me
                  In some dead sea
                        -Sanya

RANDOM ACTS OF POETRY - DAY
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March 17, 2018
 

Can listen to you for hours
Love to spend my days
In our bed of flowers
Followed by some nasty showers

What your sleepy voice does to me
Is unbelievable
My body temperature rises
My face gets red
All i do is listen
Listen to you
Like every other sense just stops
I barely feel my hands
Cannot move my feet
People around me starts disappearing

All i see is you
All i hear is you
All i feel is you
And all i can really do is write about you
-Sanya

I LOVE WRITING DAY
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March 4, 2018
 

         Half of my head is frozen
           While the other half is
               catching flames
            Thoughts are broken
          With having no remains

           Demons are in motion
          Stopping them all from
              calling me names
          They say 'trust no one'
     And end up on eating my brain.
                       -Sanya

PULSE
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February 14, 2018
 

You got me carried away
When we first made love
So passionate, desirous
Our souls were connected
We were dissolved
Reaching towards each other
Fingers were interlocked
Eye to eye, skin on skin
Slow, sensual,
A complete ecstasy
Just like an art

And now i am afraid
Because i miss that feeling
"After You", there's no passion
"After You", there's no feeling
"After You", i can't connect myself with someone else
"After You", it's just a physical pleasure
Whereas "With You", it was a physical expression
of a deeper connection
-Sanya

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
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February 9, 2018
 

Sitting at the same spot
Where we had our first kiss
And it hits me like never before
That it's always been you

The spark we had
The lightning we used to create
The magic world we built for us,
It all came in front of me when i saw you
-Sanya

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
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February 8, 2018
 

It's been 1 year
And you expect me
To leave everything else
And start it all over again
People move on, they change
A lot can happen in a year
You just cannot hope
Everything to be like the same

Remember? You left?
Without telling me
Without even considering my opinion
Okay. Forget about opinion
You didn't even consider my feelings
Do you know how i handled myself?
Do you know how many nights i have wasted on you?
No you don't
Cause you left.

You left, not just because you have to
But because you want to
And now that you are done with it
You came here with no apology
And hoping to be together. Again.
-Sanya

MESSAGE OF LOVE
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January 22, 2018
 

              Imagine, beyond the limits
             Do something, beyond your
                             capabilities
           Love, without any boundaries
                  Sooner you will realise
           They were just some huddles
          And you have outgrown them
              And finally chased them
                                -Sanya

I LOVE WRITING DAY
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January 19, 2018
 

            4 years ago we met
             Shared our views
         2 years ago we engaged
           And Shared our vows
    You said you'll take my pain
                share my fate
      You also said you'll stay...

          How could you say that
         If you didn't mean that?
       How could you wrote that
         If you didn't feel that?
        Where did your love go?
       Where did your trust go?
              Where did you go?
                          And
         Where did our vows go?
                      -Sanya

I LOVE WRITING DAY
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January 18, 2018
 

Growing up with a person
Who knows the real you
Is different
Who knows what's behind that innocent face
Is different
Who knows what are you cooking in your brain
Is different

And once they are gone
It's like a chapter of your life
No longer exists
All those memories
Which you build together seems unreal
The dreams you have made
Are just dreams now
After all
8 years are lot
Trust me.
-Sanya

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR
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January 8, 2018
 

      You dont have to say anything
                      I know you
           I know when you get sad
               When you get angry
          When you try a fake smile

              I am standing outside
             You just gotta let me in
              Open your heart to me
                  And say nothing...
                         -Sanya

A NEW DAY
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January 5, 2018
 

                 Just so you know
                        You can't
                Unfeel something
                   Like you can't
                 Undo something
                         -Sanya

FRESH AND FRUITY
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December 28, 2017
 

Time has come to unwrap the gifts
With full of excitement
Who knows what surprise they may give
Enjoyed the holidays
Lived the christmas eve
What left was
These wrapped gifts.
As Kids find their joy
In their favourite toys
We all can find our happiness
In our own mess.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year
-Sanya

CHRISTMAS ICON
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December 12, 2017
 

I can see the whole city
I can see the beautiful sky
While drinking my hot coffee
I can see how birds fly

I can hear the noise
I can hear the chirpings
While laying with my coffee
I can also hear the whisperings

I can feel the warmth
I can feel the chill
And as the sun sets
I can feel that nothing is still
-Sanya

TIS THE SEASON
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November 26, 2017
 

WORDS BY A BOOK

Read me in the woods
Away from the neighborhoods
Eliminate the disturbing elements
Perceive me without any negligence

Hold me under a tree
Explore the inner pages of my beauty
And feel every written word deeply

Just want someone to know me
And the person who wrote me.
-Sanya

ORIGINAL
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