He always needed a hand to live....
But whenever someone did so, he hurt them, caused them grief and forced them to desert him but always thought that the problem was on the other end. However when she came in his life, and same repeated.. He understood the problem is not external but within....
When you travel a road which is either never travelled or travelled long ago, you find new concerns, issues and hurdles in front.
But the deciding factor is risk. You take it and become free for eternity cause you can live either the way you want to or the way others want you to.
So it's up to us to live free or don't live at all....
He assumed what happened yesterday was just a conversation on a lighter note. He was again going into a Traumatic experience.
She asked him multiple times what's wrong but he couldn't tell what he thought and what was happening... He didn't even have the courage to ask her what he was feeling.. was it the same with her ? But the fear of rejection enveloped his mind and soul and he couldn't speak a word..
She might have felt that and she had the courage to give her hand in his hand and didn't even care for others surrounding them.
He was confused and the only thing he could ask was what does this mean and her silence made him emotional and tears started descending from his eyes....
When everything was going smooth they moved away from each other all of a sudden. He was unsure about what's happening and he started feeling like his past that he lost her....
But then she did what he never thought of and he still couldn't believe what happened....
He was a spark which always needed to become a lightning fire.
In pursuit of which he first burnt others and then himself eternally.
Now he feels there is nothing left in him.....
Their conversation had a lot of topics included and they jumped from one to another. However one frequent word that echoed was "Sorry". He never liked her being Sorry for the things which doesn't even matter him and she never got why he said so....
He kept quiet assuming time will do it's course.
He has a lot to say and a lot to hear. But when the talk begins he gets stuck, fumbles in speech, his brains and heart engage in a yes/no battle. And till he decides what to do, they're gone......
I was feeling like desperately need to talk to my Friends since few days and felt like meeting them, but then I realized they're far far away to be met and busy with their own issues.
Then I remembered what someone said once, "Today you're here but what when you are not here tomorrow?"
So maybe need to learn to be emotionally independent...
"I am a passing cloud in your life" he said, and she looked at him with a confused smile.
Had she asked him who am I in your life ? His answer would've been the beginning of a new day or the end of the dream.
I thought after long time it could be the dawn of a new day for me.
But I forgot that happiness and Me can't go together for long.
Feel it's better to let go than to pursue.
In life you get two choices,
Wait for the right moment or
take a chance and make it the right moment.
However my experience tells in both cases they'll neglect you and move on.
Now what's next is up to you...
You can't judge a person by his actions or his words.
Sometimes their eyes tell the stories which their mouths can't.
So keep your eyes wide open and look around.
You might feel what a
(hyper)Sensitive person this is ?!
But after all i've been through, i and my actions are the result. And unless I try I can't change myself and for that I need what you can't give.