Logic be Damned and fuck what you all think my heart beats for her and only her she may never know, or has she always known but there’s only one porch I’d want to sit on 50 years to the day looking into you’re tired eyes filled with every adventure from every corner of the world. The world you now dream to touch I believe in her and that’s all the love I need to prove.
I was the poison to my own water source none deserved blame but he who looked back to you from those fragments of the mirror you looked into piece by piece it fell away and you knew you’d be gone soon too..
You said you loved her but why was that love only confined to when she was with you ?
How is it that the day she walked away to do her the same lips that called her the sweetest thing turned to words like bitch,Slut and so many hurtful things why isn’t there depth in love to love one even when the best things they do aren’t with you ?
Human nature causes us to give to much to those who we are bond to by blood yet in the end it’s those relationships we forge on our own in the silence when we have nothing but a broken spirit those who restore you to what you want to be that is what you should keep around being bond to people because you are told to be so doesn’t make it law chose you’re Own ...
Today I wrote you the first love letter I knew you’d never read today I watched as in a motion so beautiful elegant and yet natural and effortlessly you lift up the bonds which tied me down to this pit I had been in disappear today I found that meaningful unexplainable answer to those four letters which most never truly grasp today I saw you shine through all that has hurt you today I saw you bare the depths of yourself to me today I looked at the sky and was thankful.
As the fame grows and I become more well known around the world I’ll just leave this the first ever piece I wrote unedited unrefined.
She walked this earth in search of one who gave it all meaning he took her by the hand and made promises she’d wished he’d keep now she bears the scars from the demons she’s battled to keep hell away from her dormant heart.
You could spend a whole lifetime getting to know her but even then you’d never know enough she was an enigma she would pull you close yet she knew you had miles to go.
Even so you couldn’t help but fall hopelessly alas she was scorned before and swore to never be again.
I do not long for this world anymore I feel the allure of life has faded away I wish these days to cease to exist. What’s the point in living when you have nothing to wake up for...to this world I say a whole hearted goodbye I will miss thee moments we shared my sweet love forget me if you will but hold my memories close...
Demons aren’t always from experiences that flipped life on its head and turned the world upside down some are created by our own design a self punishment we bestow on ourselves...
We let them in and allow them to do as they please because in reality deep down we need to suffer deep down we know we deserve the pain so why not inflict it on oneself.
Beauty be damned in this world born on the back of that which is broken with pieces hidden in places we know but don’t want to look for.
Tell me how it hurts I don’t care for those sugar coated stories that you’d spin while you cried at night. I want to know the depth of you each tear rip cut and slash along the strings of you’re heart that has grown heavy from the bricks you’ve put up to build this wall so strong and sturdy. I have loved you from that moment we shared on that misty morning in June and my heart seems to only call louder the deeper I dive into the river no ocean of you.
What now,when the world you once loved and the life you wanted to live has turned cold and lost the light it once had. Should you fade away or just be no more ? One more time for the last time look to the sky watch the stars with the wind from the south blowing so smooth watch the sun rise through the night before it all turns black.
I love you with everything I am but I cannot have you I see you in everything I do but I can’t tell you that I yearn for you as if I were afraid of the dark and you were the sun. It hurts me to no end that I cannot let you know all the beautiful words thoughts and feels you give me I wish I could have you all of you for me but I know this to have you as you are will always make any day the best then to lose you to my selfish needs I love you and that simply put is why my world turns but I cannot have you and that’s why the sky cries all day
What is life ?
Three words yet millions of views
Is it doing everything under the rising sun then letting the moon watch you do more.
Is finding someone or something give each day meaning because without it or them it isn’t worth it
Or maybe it’s a means to an end some struggle each day with different demons that they fight daily until one day it’s just no longer worth it
Or are you the rare one who’s meaning is selfish yet arguably the best do you live for ever adrenaline packed moment and when I say moment I mean everything because life every second needs to be used to do that which gives you a memory that becomes unforgettable.
Loving you was no loving you Is a priceless piece of art, not all who look at it understand it nor see its beauty. I could would and will forever go against the world to see you smile it was that happiness the glow in you’re eyes that I lived for nothing else of this earth brought such a feeling of joy to me. So my dear I write you this letter with a page still crisp white for these words of mine and my hearts true content are that which I cannot find courage to let you know .
Did I miss the part where by now a good time involved the height of stupidity and disregard to the person and how it effects them yeah well how has a quick laugh at another’s expense become fun... i like how you’re life is no matter how much you try to control it , it’s always other who think they know best that constantly F*** up everything it’s sickening that you have no say in how they go about everything...
Somebody asked me what is it that made me admit that I loved her so i looked blankly at them and said I will tell you but you will not understand.
It was in that first hug she gave me it was one which to those who looked on would testify at how awkward it had been but it was in that first embrace that i felt much warmth. I’d continue to say that it was how you’d understand everything I’d say even when it was just broken ramblings and slur-rings it was how I could be around you and be completely silent yet you’re presence would be louder then any other noise. It’s how you would doubt everything you were good at do it with this ear to ear smile but mostly it’s for that utterly unrivaled aura yo...
Today I think I heard something that has made the most sense to me...The person described it like this “It’s like the ticking of a clock in the back of you’re head but only you can tell the difference if it speeds up or slows down and when it’s at its loudest everything around you fades away all
But that tick tick tick people places happiness things moments all turn become nothing all that you have is this need to make it stop and to end it all you lose rationality until it’s just this numbness. You are begging for peace and quite nothing matters no one now how it just needs to stop and in the end you don’t care who is hurt or left behind as-long as PEACe’
Locked up in a box i filled with every piece of me that mattered to you. I’d stripped my walls clean of any idea of me you’d come to know. We where a toxic mix but some how it just worked that I’d love all that you kept hidden and you’d love all the pain I would bare...
Love was every moment next to you we could of been hopelessly lost or in a world of our own I needed not you’re touch or even you’re voice just your presence next to me and I lit up like a sunset scorched sky. I struggle constantly to show you my heart not because it lacks a beat for you but because you cause one which I cannot explain...
In my head I’d built this fantasy of this life with you that kept my dreams safe and my sleep unbroken I knew deep to my core such a dream was one id never reach but also did I know I’d want no reality without you ...
Letters to my lost lover...
It took me years to look and see clearly but by then with all my love and all my heart I built up the courage to let you know as I got to the door step heart in hand about to knock when the door swung opened to reveal I was to late...
All people look and see two people who should be together yet nobody asks why not. But what all people don’t know is that sometimes we may look the apart but can’t play it ...
Weird isn’t it how our weakest link is what in turn the reason we can still draw breath. We drown our sorrows which is like water boarding you’re liver or puff away like a chimney through a snow blanket covered mid winter night and well that’s a lung. But those are choices we make and things we want to do back to it how do you stop that sinking feeling that comes with missing someone how would you stop that crack when they are lost’how do you not love when at the sound of their name you’re heart only knows overdrive ...
We are damned to the a life we cannot choose nor have control over having you’re entire life laid out for you from the time you are to young to have a say in the matter. You are broken or molded by those who teach you who to be and how to be that but how are they missing when the real lessons are taught the lessons which haunt and eat at you forever.
It’s easy to ask a person what is their pleasure and just as easy to give them that. The hard no the brutal but most necessary thing is to ask what is it that torture’s them because to make a smile is easy and to some the ability to fake one is a norm. We live in a time of make believe lives and lies people create of what they wish the world to see them as...Yet all while carrying with them an unbearable weight that they hide or is it not hidden but nobody cares ask or help ?
Letters To The One Who
A storm had been ravaging on in my heavy heart it had then set my world alight and my head into a frenzy it was the perfect storm and the art of destruction in motion.
Hours days and weeks time itself had no bearing even all that I had was how heavy it rained how high and hot the blaze and at what speed the whirlwind of thought rushed around the battlefield of my mind all I’d been chasing was an indefinite means to an end.
A fortnight maybe possibly...and a single tear had rolled down from her eye I lie it was a rapidly flooding waterfall when you looked at her but like Gatsby’s green light the first flicker was all it took.
Clockwork had reset to pace and it was like t...
As the final 2 am looms I look to you my friend you full moon thankful for all the times you kept me company when I had none but the thoughts in my head and a tear soaked bed to my beautiful stars I adore you and will take to my end those little glimmers of hope you’d bring to me when all around me faded to black to my lover out there may the winds forever blow your hair and carry that scent of you to many a forever my love
Sadly with age aside from the usual drama that comes with growth you get that blow to the head when you stand in a room with everyone. You hold dear and see that the room maybe be full yet as you look up at an arrow hurling toward you at a slower then normal pace and you frozen still that again that room maybe be full but you see maybe five or six running to the front of that arrow head? Just a thought...
Time slowed down almost instantly “Helpless” huh that one word used to almost purge a human spirit when all you can do is wait and watch when all you wish to do is be there.
The spoken word is truly magnificent...
Like how we can use the same tone of voice to show love and hatred to others or the secrets whispered in the soft yet pleasing tongue of trust.
Our language is beautiful in the right context oh remember how it feels when you hear the words you want to,though does it not stab like the sharpest blade when it’s the one you’d not want said...
Actions are the hardest challenge you will face that moment when you have it all in the instant and lose it because you lacked in an area of importance.