I love you with everything I am but I cannot have you I see you in everything I do but I can’t tell you that I yearn for you as if I were afraid of the dark and you were the sun. It hurts me to no end that I cannot let you know all the beautiful words thoughts and feels you give me I wish I could have you all of you for me but I know this to have you as you are will always make any day the best then to lose you to my selfish needs I love you and that simply put is why my world turns but I cannot have you and that’s why the sky cries all day
What is life ?
Three words yet millions of views
Is it doing everything under the rising sun then letting the moon watch you do more.
Is finding someone or something give each day meaning because without it or them it isn’t worth it
Or maybe it’s a means to an end some struggle each day with different demons that they fight daily until one day it’s just no longer worth it
Or are you the rare one who’s meaning is selfish yet arguably the best do you live for ever adrenaline packed moment and when I say moment I mean everything because life every second needs to be used to do that which gives you a memory that becomes unforgettable.
Loving you was no loving you Is a priceless piece of art, not all who look at it understand it nor see its beauty. I could would and will forever go against the world to see you smile it was that happiness the glow in you’re eyes that I lived for nothing else of this earth brought such a feeling of joy to me. So my dear I write you this letter with a page still crisp white for these words of mine and my hearts true content are that which I cannot find courage to let you know .
Did I miss the part where by now a good time involved the height of stupidity and disregard to the person and how it effects them yeah well how has a quick laugh at another’s expense become fun... i like how you’re life is no matter how much you try to control it , it’s always other who think they know best that constantly F*** up everything it’s sickening that you have no say in how they go about everything...
Somebody asked me what is it that made me admit that I loved her so i looked blankly at them and said I will tell you but you will not understand.
It was in that first hug she gave me it was one which to those who looked on would testify at how awkward it had been but it was in that first embrace that i felt much warmth. I’d continue to say that it was how you’d understand everything I’d say even when it was just broken ramblings and slur-rings it was how I could be around you and be completely silent yet you’re presence would be louder then any other noise. It’s how you would doubt everything you were good at do it with this ear to ear smile but mostly it’s for that utterly unrivaled aura yo...
Today I think I heard something that has made the most sense to me...The person described it like this “It’s like the ticking of a clock in the back of you’re head but only you can tell the difference if it speeds up or slows down and when it’s at its loudest everything around you fades away all
But that tick tick tick people places happiness things moments all turn become nothing all that you have is this need to make it stop and to end it all you lose rationality until it’s just this numbness. You are begging for peace and quite nothing matters no one now how it just needs to stop and in the end you don’t care who is hurt or left behind as-long as PEACe’
Locked up in a box i filled with every piece of me that mattered to you. I’d stripped my walls clean of any idea of me you’d come to know. We where a toxic mix but some how it just worked that I’d love all that you kept hidden and you’d love all the pain I would bare...
Love was every moment next to you we could of been hopelessly lost or in a world of our own I needed not you’re touch or even you’re voice just your presence next to me and I lit up like a sunset scorched sky. I struggle constantly to show you my heart not because it lacks a beat for you but because you cause one which I cannot explain...
In my head I’d built this fantasy of this life with you that kept my dreams safe and my sleep unbroken I knew deep to my core such a dream was one id never reach but also did I know I’d want no reality without you ...
Letters to my lost lover...
It took me years to look and see clearly but by then with all my love and all my heart I built up the courage to let you know as I got to the door step heart in hand about to knock when the door swung opened to reveal I was to late...
All people look and see two people who should be together yet nobody asks why not. But what all people don’t know is that sometimes we may look the apart but can’t play it ...
Weird isn’t it how our weakest link is what in turn the reason we can still draw breath. We drown our sorrows which is like water boarding you’re liver or puff away like a chimney through a snow blanket covered mid winter night and well that’s a lung. But those are choices we make and things we want to do back to it how do you stop that sinking feeling that comes with missing someone how would you stop that crack when they are lost’how do you not love when at the sound of their name you’re heart only knows overdrive ...
We are damned to the a life we cannot choose nor have control over having you’re entire life laid out for you from the time you are to young to have a say in the matter. You are broken or molded by those who teach you who to be and how to be that but how are they missing when the real lessons are taught the lessons which haunt and eat at you forever.
It’s easy to ask a person what is their pleasure and just as easy to give them that. The hard no the brutal but most necessary thing is to ask what is it that torture’s them because to make a smile is easy and to some the ability to fake one is a norm. We live in a time of make believe lives and lies people create of what they wish the world to see them as...Yet all while carrying with them an unbearable weight that they hide or is it not hidden but nobody cares ask or help ?
Letters To The One Who
A storm had been ravaging on in my heavy heart it had then set my world alight and my head into a frenzy it was the perfect storm and the art of destruction in motion.
Hours days and weeks time itself had no bearing even all that I had was how heavy it rained how high and hot the blaze and at what speed the whirlwind of thought rushed around the battlefield of my mind all I’d been chasing was an indefinite means to an end.
A fortnight maybe possibly...and a single tear had rolled down from her eye I lie it was a rapidly flooding waterfall when you looked at her but like Gatsby’s green light the first flicker was all it took.
Clockwork had reset to pace and it was like t...
As the final 2 am looms I look to you my friend you full moon thankful for all the times you kept me company when I had none but the thoughts in my head and a tear soaked bed to my beautiful stars I adore you and will take to my end those little glimmers of hope you’d bring to me when all around me faded to black to my lover out there may the winds forever blow your hair and carry that scent of you to many a forever my love
Sadly with age aside from the usual drama that comes with growth you get that blow to the head when you stand in a room with everyone. You hold dear and see that the room maybe be full yet as you look up at an arrow hurling toward you at a slower then normal pace and you frozen still that again that room maybe be full but you see maybe five or six running to the front of that arrow head? Just a thought...
Time slowed down almost instantly “Helpless” huh that one word used to almost purge a human spirit when all you can do is wait and watch when all you wish to do is be there.
The spoken word is truly magnificent...
Like how we can use the same tone of voice to show love and hatred to others or the secrets whispered in the soft yet pleasing tongue of trust.
Our language is beautiful in the right context oh remember how it feels when you hear the words you want to,though does it not stab like the sharpest blade when it’s the one you’d not want said...
Actions are the hardest challenge you will face that moment when you have it all in the instant and lose it because you lacked in an area of importance.
Nobility is judged in many ways and seen in a different lights by all.I choose to see it like this it’s not how big the sacrifice you’ve made or how many people put you in a good light.Its not even by how well liked you are but how you always look to make the life of those around you easier and better...They need not know why how or what it cost you because it’s always worth it in the happiness it brings
When are you strong on the day you choose to keep fighting or is it the day you give in does it not take more courage to accept that you’re time has come then to keep going when you no longer see the finish line or when you can not hold onto anything any longer when you know what’s wrong and yet have no clue how to fix it.
Life is funny like this you give a person everything good in life then take away the ability for them to enjoy ; give them the people they need most at the price of what you’d need most my cost to much...
It becomes like everything you are want to be or have been is no longer there all that’s left in you is this pit or black hole sucking away all the memories joys and purpose of life. A lucky few beat this and those less fortunate have the daily struggle of inner demons who break and reshape your mind into the deadly darkest place that you’d think should be you’re own but you no longer have control...
You have no idea what love is till you are drunk I’m crazy you will say but do you not feel more the more intoxicated you it’s like the problems rested on your sober shoulders are drowned out but what’s left is the raw feelings you hide away...I love her and that’s all I know because the more the struggles fade the clearer the feelings become that she is what holds me down...
single yet in love with a women who’s beauty fills up every inch of the void in my heart armed with this magical idea of a life I won’t live with a person I can’t have in a story of which I have not the right amount of pages to cover nor the ink to write but I am in love with a beautiful women. She who brings an echo to every quite room I sit in alone her name the silk to roll of my tongue with words I cannot speak aloud but only daydream about as I am in love with a beautiful women.
The truth is it will always be about the one time you weren’t there which will forever hang over your head that’s what makes the times nobody’s there for you okay because oh that one time you wasn’t so hey I guess it’s okay to be guarded to suffer in silence to do what you gotta to get through a day medicate,intoxicate or elevate tear yourself apart trying to make sense of it all fight every apart of you that’s given up...because nobody cares about your struggles only about that one time.
A wise man once told me fight for what you love and need break yourself if you have to because at the end of the day if you’re willing to fight that hard the reason you fight will be able to make you whole again...
He said to me the day you give up is the day you are no longer worthy of that which means so much to you scars heal and bones break but how do you fill a void with only one fitting to close the abyss
Why do we always hurt those who mean most to us it’s like we always lose that which we need the most it’s like one of the saddest parts in life that you only gain to lose food for thought I guess as we continue to take those around us for granted and only feel that pain after you’ve for lack of better word F##ked up
Une fois dans sa vie, vous trouvez une âme qui vous apporte la paix.
che porta la luce in ogni angolo oscuro della vita.
ella es, tu eres la buena vida que has dado.
Fly true and free that heart of yours may lay caged far away from the people and places they belong to from the champs-Elysees to the steps of the acropolis with a Sicilian wind blowing through Catalan kissed hair strands.
We’d stay up till the crack of dawn to the sounds of swords and shields with bastards and queens from words of fantasy you’d get lost in and dragon fire which you’d carry to our reality one that burned so bright it hid away all that you carried alone.
When you speak words of wisdom forged in the pits of life...
You came to me unexpectedly like a gust of wind on summers hottest day yet you did not pass but lingered on till I could no longer think feel or remember what it was like without you.Now this morning with my window opened I waited for that first rush to send shivers down my spine but oddly enough the birds would chirp the sun ever present rays on my face the air light and fresh but where had you gone that scent and sensation I craved has disappeared.
...Now to bring it back
Note to reader the best things are that which you never wanted or ever thought you’d need